Dear E - The Advice from E Thread

[E]

I have long suspected that I would make the most awesomely awesome advice columnist in the history of ever.

Here we will put that theory to the test.

Ask me advice for your problems. It does not need to be comic-related.

 

[Hibiki]

Dear E,

I am a young woman of 21 and a legal drinker. However, that has nothing to do with the advice I seek. you see, i was recently infracted for saying some obscure things about a certain artist. He is awful. I would compare him with your hate for Card. How can i better express my feelings without getting infracted and seeming like a complete douche? Is there a loophole, and if not, how much do I pay to bribe you? Paypal?

yours truly,

bagley rocks

 

[Victor Von Doom]

Doom did it first. And better. 8)

 

[Joe Kalicki]

Doom did it first. And better. 8)

I did it first, and best of all.

 

[ourchair]

Ourchair could do it even better than all of you.

Wait, what are we talking about again?

 

[Random]

Doom did it first. And better. 8)

True, until everyone else ****ed things up

 

[Planet-man]

I'm a cronic procrastinator, especially when it comes to homework. How should I overcome this?

 

[Lynx]

I'm a cronic procrastinator, especially when it comes to homework. How should I overcome this?

You don't.

-Proud Procrastinator since 1986

 

[Random]

I'm a cronic procrastinator, especially when it comes to homework. How should I overcome this?

I too desperately need help in this

 

[Joe Kalicki]

I'm a cronic procrastinator, especially when it comes to homework. How should I overcome this?

I too desperately need help in this

I think these two are asking to be banned until summer.

 

[Random]

I think these two are asking to be banned until summer.

If I wasn't on here I would be somewhere else wasting my time

 

[Hibiki]

If I wasn't on here I would be somewhere else wasting my time

porncentral?

 

[Random]

porncentral?

GET OUT OF MY HEAD! SHE'S A WITCH!

 

[marvelman]

I'm going to have 2000 posts soon. And I am going to leave forever. Will you remember me?

 

[E]

Dear E,

I am a young woman of 21 and a legal drinker. However, that has nothing to do with the advice I seek. you see, i was recently infracted for saying some obscure things about a certain artist. He is awful. I would compare him with your hate for Card. How can i better express my feelings without getting infracted and seeming like a complete douche? Is there a loophole, and if not, how much do I pay to bribe you? Paypal?

yours truly,

bagley rocks

Very simple; you're talking about Howard Chaykin. Nobody likes Howard Chaykin. So all you have to do is say "Howard Chaykin" and people will know exactly what you're talking about.

It's kind of like taking the Lord's name in vain. Howard Chaykin!

I'm a cronic procrastinator, especially when it comes to homework. How should I overcome this?

If you are a daydreamer, start thinking about life will be like if you fail high school (or college, your pick). Think of a life in a cardboard box, sitting in a puddle of your own urine. Think of Joe Kalicki stabbing you, because he does that to bums.

I'm going to have 2000 posts soon. And I am going to leave forever. Will you remember me?

I will always remember you, because I think it is funny you call yourself marvel"man".

 

[Bass]

Dear E,

How did you become so awesome at giving advice?

Sincerely,
Bass

PS: I like Howard Chaykin. Should I just give up on my future and wait for Kalicki's knife?

 

[E]

Dear E,

How did you become so awesome at giving advice?

Sincerely,
Bass

PS: I like Howard Chaykin. Should I just give up on my future and wait for Kalicki's knife?

I'm not sure. I guess I was just born with the gift.

And you don't really like Howard Chaykin. You are just being disagreeable.

 

[Victor Von Doom]

Dear E,

Bacon-N-Eggs Betty tends to leave my back looking like Alex Ross's Batman.

What do you suggest to help keep my skin smooth and scar-free?


Love,
Doom

 

[Bass]

I'm not sure. I guess I was just born with the gift.

And you don't really like Howard Chaykin. You are just being disagreeable.

Dear E,

Are you sure "Gift" is the right choice of word?

Also - I do like Howard Chaykin.

Sincerely,
Twipple McStanley

 

[thee great one]

Doom did it first. And better. 8)

I did it first, and best of all.

Ourchair could do it even better than all of you.

Wait, what are we talking about again?

The advice of TOG would be legendary.


Every answer would involve blasting taft in the 3rd person.











Dear E.


Can you really go blind?


Love

Tog.