Joliet: Awesome Town, USA

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Joe Kalicki

Well-Known Member
Joliet is Great
Part 1 of a 100 part series

Joliet, or "The Jewel of the I&M Canal," was founded in 1673 by famed French-Canadian explorer Louis Joliet, though the rest of America would later forgive it for that, and it would become the county seat of Will County.

Perhaps best known for the Joliet Penitentiary, built there in 1858 because of the area's abundance of stone necessary for the prison walls and cells, the city of Joliet has recently become of haven of tourism.

Since the early 90s, Joliet has been home to two riverboat gambling casinos, which recently won a legal victory allowing them to operate while remaining at dock. Near the Harras casino you'll also find beautiful Silver Cross Field, home to the unaffiliated minor league baseball team, The Joliet Jackhammers, who count among their former players son of disgraced Major League Legend Pete Rose, and family pariah John Henry Williams, son of the last man to hit .400, Ted Williams.

Also in the heart of the city is Joliet's crown jewel, the Rialto theater, which just this month has hosted perfromances by such luminaries in the recording field as Mannheim Steamroller and Jethro Tull.

To be continued
 
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Ice

Teh Sexy Monkey Queen
Holy damn, the city really is called Joliet?! (I've been meaning to ask that for a long, long time).

I thought that was some made up rainbow name! :shock:

HAHAHAHA!! :lol:
 
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the watcher

Well-Known Member
Joliet is Great
Part 1 of a 100 part series

Joliet, or "The Jewel of the I&M Canal," was founded in 1673 by famed French-Canadian explorer Louis Joliet, though the rest of America would later forgive it for that, and it would become the county seat of Will County.

Perhaps best known for the Joliet Penitentiary, built there in 1858 because of the area's abundance of stone necessary for the prison walls and cells, the city of Joliet has recently become of haven of tourism.

Since the early 90s, Joliet has been home to two riverboat gambling casinos, which recently won a legal victory allowing them to operate while remaining at dock. Near the Harras casino you'll also find beautiful Silver Cross Field, home to the unaffiliated minor league baseball team, The Joliet Jackhammers, who count among their former players son of disgraced Major League Legend Pete Rose, and family pariah John Henry Williams, son of the last man to hit .400, Ted Williams.

Also in the heart of the city is Joliet's crown jewel, the Rialto theater, which just this month has hosted perfromances by such luminaries in the recording field as Mannheim Steamroller and Jethro Tull.

To be continued
Mostly because of the movie The Blues Brothers.


Why are you doing this???
 

Iceshadow

Well-Known Member
Hmm, an okay start I guess, but this needs to pick up soon or I might have to drop it from my pull list.
 

McCheese

Well-Known Member
I noticed some errors in your post Joe. Don't worry I've fixed them.
Josephi Kalicki said:
Joilet is ****
Part 1 of a 100 part series

Joliet, or "The Turd of the I&M Canal," was founded in 1673 by famed French-Canadian explorer Louis "Bungholio" Joliet, the rest of America would later scorn them for that, and it would become the county seat of some ****ty little nothing county.

Perhaps best known for the Joliet Penitentiary, built there in 1858 because of the area's abundance of criminals necessary for filling the prison cells, the city of Joliet has recently become of haven of garbage.

Since the early 90s, Joliet has been home to two riverboat gambling casinos, which recently lost a legal victory forcing them to remain in Joliet. Near the Harras casino you'll also find hideous ****hole Field, home to the unaffiliated minor league baseball team, The Joliet Jackasses, who count among their former players son of disgraced Major League Legend Pete Rose, and family pariah John Henry Williams, son of the last man to hit .400, Ted Williams.

Also in the heart of the city is Joliet's crown jewel, the Rialto theater, which just this month has hosted perfromances by such luminaries in the recording field as Mannheim Steamroller and Jethro Tull. (That part is pathetic enough to not warrant an edit)

To be continued
Holy damn, the city really is called Joliet?! (I've been meaning to ask that for a long, long time).

I thought that was some made up rainbow name! :shock:

HAHAHAHA!! :lol:
It's gloriously awful.
Why are you doing this???
He's a glutton for punishment.
 
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E

Moderator
Excelsior Club
I have to say though, if it really was known as Awesome Town, USA, I might be inclined to think it really was awesome. Unfortunately Flint, MI has been known as Awesome Town, USA since 1943.
 

Joe Kalicki

Well-Known Member
Joliet is Great
Part 2 of 100

Is that comedic legend Andy Dick? Why yes, if you're looking through the 1984 Joliet West High chool yearbook, it probably is! And Dick is only one of many celebrities to come from Joliet, or the Big Girder, as it's sometimes known due to its history of steel manufacturing.

Other famous faces you might see around town include Christopher Knight from the Brady Bunch, who married some model chick that used to waitress at the Applebee's across from the Louis Joliet Mall. Perhaps you might stop there for a drink or a meal after a busy day of shopping at the second largest Westfield mall in the lower southern Chicago suburbs.

Famous athletes from Joliet include Mike Alstott, Super Bowl winning running back and noted injury magnet from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Scott Spiezo, World Series winning utility man for teh St. Louis Cardinals, famous for his brave battles agaist substance abuse and naturally colored facial hair. And George Mikan, basketball legend of the Minneapolis Lakers, and the greatest player of the first half decade of the NBA.

So if you're visiting Joliet, be sure to bring your camera, because there's no telling which famous face you might run across!

To be continued
 

McCheese

Well-Known Member
Joliet is Great
Part 2 of 100

Is that comedic legend Andy Dick? Why yes, if you're looking through the 1984 Joliet West High chool yearbook, it probably is! And Dick is only one of many celebrities to come from Joliet, or the Big Girder, as it's sometimes known due to its history of steel manufacturing.

Other famous faces you might see around town include Christopher Knight from the Brady Bunch, who married some model chick that used to waitress at the Applebee's across from the Louis Joliet Mall. Perhaps you might stop there for a drink or a meal after a busy day of shopping at the second largest Westfield mall in the lower southern Chicago suburbs.

Famous athletes from Joliet include Mike Alstott, Super Bowl winning running back and noted injury magnet from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Scott Spiezo, World Series winning utility man for teh St. Louis Cardinals, famous for his brave battles agaist substance abuse and naturally colored facial hair. And George Mikan, basketball legend of the Minneapolis Lakers, and the greatest player of the first half decade of the NBA.

So if you're visiting Joliet, be sure to bring your camera, because there's no telling which famous face you might run across!

To be continued
Too easy/pathetic to mock.

Andy Dick?



SRSLY.
 

Iceshadow

Well-Known Member
Joliet is Great
Part 2 of 100

Is that comedic legend Andy Dick? Why yes, if you're looking through the 1984 Joliet West High chool yearbook, it probably is! And Dick is only one of many celebrities to come from Joliet, or the Big Girder, as it's sometimes known due to its history of steel manufacturing.
Jon Lovitz blames Andy Dick for killing Phil Hartman, then kicked his ***. So, yeah.

I don't know how this is going to get past 6.
Ch.7-100 are the Life and Adventures of Joe Kalicki.
 

Planet-man

Well-Known Member
Andy Dick? For christ sakes, Toronto's got Kiefer Sutherland, Rachel McAdams, Keanu Reeves, Lorne Michaels, Glen Gould, Mike Myers, etc. and the best you can do is Andy Dick?

Even for all you fans of NewsRadio out there who would prefer Andy Dick on that basis, Toronto's got Dave Foley. So there.
 

E

Moderator
Excelsior Club
Other famous faces you might see around town include Christopher Knight from the Brady Bunch, who married some model chick that used to waitress at the Applebee's across from the Louis Joliet Mall.
Are you sure she didn't meet him while *he* was working at Applebee's?
 

Gemini

Well-Known Member
if this ends up being longer than my "This Just In Canada Is Better Than You!" thread i'm gonna be pissed

on the otherhand Joliet Jake may be one of the best character's ever created

 
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