Random Facts about Vin Diesel

Caduceus

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TheManWithoutFear said:
I hate Vin Diesel. :evil:
We know, we know. But did you know

Vin Diesel once got so angry at a man that he punched him hard enough to cause his ancestors to feel it. This is how Napoleon lost the Battle of Waterloo.
 

iceman

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Upon being nailed to a cross, Vin is quoted as saying, "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
 

Patriot Mk2

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My personal favourite has to be:

"Google is not a standard search engine, as once thought, but rather, an e-mail sent directly to the brain of Vin Diesel, who then immediately e-mails back the warranted response"
 

slimjim

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Vin Diesel made a vow to only use his powers for good. However one night he got really drunk and killed a hooker. The police never found a body though, since Vin disposed of the corpse by unhinging his jaw and swallowing it whole
 

Friday

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His feces weigh more than the sum of the food he consumes. Physicist Stephen Hawking- who was actually stricken with MS as the result of a curse placed upon him by Vin Diesel after the two had a heated argument over a minor point of Einstein's theory of special gravity (Vin Diesel was proven correct in a later experiment)- has been quoted as saying that he may hold the key to understanding "dark matter" somewhere in his digestive tract. Carson Daly reported that he didn't see anything suspicious in there.

Seems like alot of the ones I'm getting have him eating something.
 

moonmaster

Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
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"Vin Diesel's toenail clippings are worth up to 29'000 gallons of virginial blood on the black market.
He is responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs. A Diplodocus said his mom was fat so he killed each and every dinosaur with an icepick and a baseball bat wrapped in 40-grit sandpaper.
Vin Diesel once challenged Moses to an arm-wrestling match and won. In fury, Moses killed all the first born sons of Egypt and took his people into the desert for 40 years.
Vin Diesel speaks fluent Korean and lulls North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il to sleep every fortnight.
Vin Diesel and Casper Van Diem are actually a superhero team that only fights crime in Toledo, Ohio between the 1:33pm and 4:39pm. Only 5 people in the free world know the reason for this.
Vin Diesel has spent the last three months in the final stages of fabrication of his newly engineered color. He calls it CLEAR.
All Vin Diesel's NES games have vowels in their level passwords.
Jesus could turn water into wine, Vin Diesel turns wine into water. His agent told him that this is a much greater ability, thus giving him roles in many succsessfull films and to often be refered as "the light of the party" in social happenings."

Vin Diesel is the most fascinating man on the planet. Somebody should tell Barbara Walters that.
 

thee great one

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- Vin Diesel is how they cram all that graham into Golden Grahams.
I always wondered about that.
- Vin Diesel was created in 1978 when Frank Sinatra and Marlon Brando were electrically fused together during a freak accident in a sauna.
I don't even want to know.
- Vin Diesel was the one who let the dogs out.
Damn him!
- When golfing, if you accidentally miss the fairway, yelling 'Vin Diesel' will make the ball automatically appear on the green. Just try not to use it too often.
I should go golfing and see how many balls appear.
- Vin Diesel was the thirty-sixth guy whose **** Dante's girlfriend sucked in "Clerks."
Never seen the movie but you guys love it so I showed you this.
- Spelling Vin Diesel backwards out loud will reverse the rotation of the Earth.
'Leseid Niv" Oh no what have I done!
- The seventh and last Harry Potter book will be called Vin Diesel and Harry Potter. JK Rowlings at first tried to convince him not to break the continuity and call it Harry Potter and Vin Diesel, or perhaps Harry Potter and the Vin Diesel, but Vin said he "didnt want none of that ****". Hermione dies at the hands of Vin at the beginning of the book, and much of the rest is spent celebrating at Hogwarts with him.
I can't wait to see the movie.
- Vin Diesel is being considered by the Cardinals as a new pope.
Hail Pope Diesel
- Vin Diesel caused the nuclear explosion at Hiroshima, just by pointing to Japan on a combination globe/pencil sharpener.
That's Evil.
- Vin Diesel invented a formula for ever-lasting life, but it was destroyed when he fought the Hundred-Handed Giants.
What The ****?
- Vin Diesel is the son of Jessica Simpson and Albert Einstein. It isn't clear yet if he inheited his good-looks from his mom and brains from his dad or vice verse.
This is easily the funniest one. (They used someone else instead of Einstein but I couldn't remember who)
- Vin Diesel is the cause of the Avengers Disassembled
- Vin Diesel is really Ultimate Loki
I made those up myself.
I post more later. How did you find these Cad?
 

thee great one

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Vin Diesel climbed to the top of Mount Olympus and killed Zeus with his bare hands. He carries Zeus' soul in a vial made from the frozen tears of Athena.

Now this one was just weird.
 

Ultimate Quicksilver

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Vin Diesel once thought he was a Highlander, but gave up the theory after numerous beheadings didn't lead to any lightning. He is, however, immortal.


Vin Diesel only has to use training wheels on long bike trips. In fact, Vin diesel had to use training wheels until he was 24. Those training wheels were later found in the vault beneath Ground Zero after the planes hit. They were sold in order to feed seven thousand homeless kittens so the kittens could in turn be used to feed three thousand homeless children. Vin Diesel later ate the children and was quoted as saying "They were tasty."
 

Nurhachi

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Ultimate Quicksilver said:
Vin Diesel once thought he was a Highlander, but gave up the theory after numerous beheadings didn't lead to any lightning. He is, however, immortal.

:lol:
 

nigma

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Vin Diesel is a wise and benevolent giant, endlessly traveling the world to help the less fortunate. However, this wisdom comes at a terrible price. A gypsy's curse has kept him moving without respite for the past 400 years, and he can never sleep or stay in one place longer than seven days until he has learned the true secret of the Unicorns, received a kiss from a Goddess Queen (or Kim Deal), and finally discovered and finished off the man destined to destroy him - Jack Black. This is doubly difficult because Sam Neill is hunting Vin Diesel down to remove his own curse, which can only be removed by ramming The Unicorn's Horn through Vin Diesel's huge heart. With the help of his faithful steed - the black dragon Leseid - Vin Diesel hopes to complete his quest ... or die trying.

Vin Diesel's life was the basis for the novel "Little Women". His nightmares were the basis for the novel "Little Men"

After losing three straight games to the Yankees during the 2004 American League Championship Series, the Red Sox implored the help of Vin Diesel. Eight games later, the World Series was theirs for the keeping...but the same could no longer be said for their souls.

(this is just funny, see below)
Vin Diesel challenged everyone in the sub-continent of India to an arm-wrestling match. After humiliating that nation's finest arm wrestling warriors, an Indian holy man placed a curse on Vin Diesel, which is why he doesn't have a single hair on his body. But when Vin Diesel saved India from a tsunami by delivering a stand-up routine so hilarious the tsunami shook apart with laughter, the holy man rewarded Vin with the secret of morphing into an alpaca, and the secret of cooking the perfect terducken. It is from Vin Diesel's personal kitchen that John Madden purchases his annual terducken.
 

nigma

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just found this has to do witht the last one
Vin Diesel can morph into an alpaca, and no matter how much you shear him, there is always more hair. Vin's hair in alpaca form in 80% steel, 15% flexible carbon-based polymer, and 5% unknown, highly radioactive isotope that scientists have nicknamed, "The Sperm Ruiner."
 

thee great one

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New facts since I discovered this again.

Vin Diesel's arch nemesis was Mr Cooper from Hanging With Mr Cooper.

I remember that show. That one of the best.

There's an old saying that 'You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.' Vin Diesel became so enraged upon learning this, that he carved to words into the belly of a eunuch and defeated him under the judgement of Thunderdome.

:shock: I don't understand

Vin Diesel slept with Dolly Parton, but couldn't find the right hole. Turns out that she was a man.

Double :shock: :shock: That's just gross.

Vin Diesel is the only person who can simultaneously master both the dark and light sides of the Force.

I thought this was right since we're all in the Star Wars mood.
And one more..

Vin Diesel made a sextape with Paris Hilton on her Sidekick. He later hacked into it, deleted the sextape, and distributed the rest of her information online.

I always wondered how that happen and I want to see that tape.
 

ProjectX2

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Vin Diesel injected cookie-batter into his bowels, and then took a crap. Hence, Pocky sticks were born.
 

ProjectX2

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Vin Diesel is actually the creator of Microsoft and Bill Gates is just his daughter.

:shock:
 

Ice

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Vin Diesel can only achieve climax by killing a whore.

Vin Diesel's a hell of a drug.

Vin Diesel was once part of the Justice League, but was kicked out because he hate more hot dogs than Superman.

His teeth are each separate, intelligent beings.

Too may Vin Diesels do not spoil the broth. They make it better.

Vin Diesel challenged Evander Holyfield to a boxing match, only to bite off his other ear. When asked why, Diesel responded, "I like ear."

Vin Diesel's leg hair is harvested bi-monthly for use in fine Scandinavian carpets due to it's extreme strength, durability, and ability to ward off Russians.
 

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