Stop Bashing Orson Scott Card

Bass

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Please stop bashing Orson Scott Card.

I'm completely sick of it.

It's dull, annoying, and most of all - misguided.

BENDIS is the real culprit. Him and LOEB. Together they form LOEBENDIS.

Card just writes ONE **** COMIC A MONTH.

These guys write FIFTY.



EACH.

AND THEY ALL INVOLVE THE MAJOR CHARACTERS OF MARVEL AND DC.

IN SOME CASES, THEY DICTATE THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

These guys aren't worthy of the bashing you give Orson Scott Card, but of the very hatred that would form a black cloud and spread across the globe and turn them to ash.

I propose a 2-minute hate on Loebendis every day. It's just two minutes. You can do it. Next time you think about cracking one off or reading one of their ****ty issues, just think, "My God. Could today be the day they turn to ash?" Just hate. Hate them with all your might. Think of them as an it. A single entity that exudes **** from their pen.

And realise that all **** writers are linked to Loebendis:

Howard Mackie: The guy managed to kill Spider-Man. No, not in the comics, but in western culture. He wrote stories so dull, so mind-destroyingly bad that people actually stopped liking Spider-Man. He did it with a story called "The Clone Saga", which was the sucker punch that took out a hero already burdened by nonsense like "Maximum Carnage" and... dear God... "Maximum Cloneage". And how is he Loebendis? Well, Loebendis has declared he's doing an Ultimate Clone Saga. Obviously Howard Mackie was just an old alias for Loebendis, and not content with ****ing up Spider-Man once, they want to repeat it. Already, they have begun to succeed as Ultimate Spider-Man is only slightly preferable to AIDS.

Orson Scott Card: This is a clever pseudonym. In Greek, "Orson" actually means "Loeb" and "Scott" in Aramaic means "Bendis". Card, strangely enough, in Ancient Greek transliterated by the Romans into Hebrew, means "I'm going to **** up your comics, fan boy". Hence, proof that OSC is just a clever tool in the arsenal of the greater evil, Loebendis.

Reginald Hudlin: The only man to make me stop reading a comic on the basis of the first page, Hudlin wrote a scene in which, set centuries ago, African tribesmen were already urbanized. Here are tribal warriors working through the savannah grasslands of Africa in a sneak attack, and one of them says to himself "Be Cool, Be Cool." Was "Yo' mamma ain't fly, beyotch" taken? What about, "I'm in the hizzouse!". This guy is a stealth tribal warrior. I get he's nervous. John Romita Jr DREW him that way. I don't need the "Be Cool" to get he's nervous. The "Be Cool" makes him and Hudlin look stupid, because not only is he talking during a STEALTH RAID IN THE GRASSLANDS where you are moving quitely so as not to be noticed and a whisper will be heard, but because Hudlin doesn't understand that Africa didn't have drive-by gangsta shoots 100 years ago. Loebendis is behind this because they don't understand that characters talking incessenantly for no purpose (are they being payed by the word in a balloon?) is crap.

Chris Claremont: This man basically invented the X-Men with John Byrne. Did an amazing job. Now, however, he rewrites continuity as he sees fit, pissing on fabulous stories such as Grant Morrison's New X-Men run by inventing nonsense plot twists that make no sense - ever. This is the head of Loebendis, "Mahr-Khe-Teeyar", the one who cannot possibly comprehend writing one title, but must mold all of continuity towards they're own dull, inspid, pointless, brand of outrageous stupidity where Luke Cage, Superman, and Batman do everything together and ***** slap Wolverine because "it's art" and Spider-Man sits there and *****es that his supermodel wife is too good for him. The Ultimate universe itself managed to have but two corners not affected Loebendis, Ultimate X-Men and The Ultimates. The former has already fallen, and the death of a good character was pointless and arbitrary. The Ultimates are next. We must stop them soon.

My fellow Ultimate Centralianites; hate not Orson Scott Card, stop bashing him, for he is merely the wooden finger on the marionette of crap comic writers which is orchestrated and moved by Loebendis, the twelve-headed monster of ****.

Remember this, my friends.

Remember the two-minute hate.

Remember the ash ridden corpse of Loebendis.

YOU ALL AGREE.
 

marvelman

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:shock:

This "two minutes hate" is oddly reminiscent of 1984. And somehow, I cannot resist it... :twisted:
 

GMaster

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Bass is, as usual, correct. While Loeb is sometimes good, Bendis always sucks ***. And Orson tries his best. At least he doesnt write a gazillion comics a month that everyone hates. He just writes one that everyone hates.
 

Lynx

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Bass, you didn't give one reason why Bendis or Loeb are bad wrtiers in that entire speech.

And I've liked plenty of comics that Bendis has wrote (New Avengers, USM, and Powers), and most of Loeb's comics. Yet, I haven't enjoyed any of OSC's comics (Even though its just one).

So, I will continue bashing writers I don't like as I see fit. :wink:
 

Ice

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GMaster said:
Bass is, as usual, correct.
As usual, his daddies told him he can't have a new toy, so he rants against them.

GMaster said:
While Loeb is sometimes good-
Only read 1 or 2 things from him. Loved it.

GMaster said:
Bendis always sucks ***.
Not always. The Avengers: Finale was superb.

GMaster said:
And Orson tries his best.
Yeah...his best at ****** up continuity more and more.

GMaster said:
At least he doesnt write a gazillion comics a month that everyone hates.
Speak for yourself. I don't hate Bendis's books that I read.

GMaster said:
He just writes one that everyone hates.
THANK THE MIGHTY COMIC GODS IN COMIC HEAVENS!
 

Aeroth

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Orson Scott Card is a great critic, columnist, and novelist, but he sucks at comics. Simple as that.

So for all of you that hate Ultimate Iron Man, do not let it ruin your opinion of the man, considering he's writing some of the most entertaining and clever books within the last 20 years.

I'm one of Card's biggest fans. I'm part of of the forum at his official website, and I read all his weekly columns. I have at least 15 of his novels sitting on my bookshelf.

But I don't read Ultimate Iron Man. In fact, I never even bought the first issue, simply based on the preview that came out prior to its release. Because I knew that the man couldn't possibly be great at everything he writes, and comics are his weakness.

So stop bashing the writer himself and just focus on his comic-writing skills. Because those are his only negative traits.
 

Bass

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icemastertron said:
What? Did ya think I'd forget?

You just going further up The List.

Lynx said:
Bass, you didn't give one reason why Bendis or Loeb are bad wrtiers in that entire speech.

I thought it was obvious. There names are Loebendis. They suck. I need no further reasons.

Don't tempt me to actually discuss this rationally.

Just do the hate.
 

Patriot Mk2

The poster formerly known as Johnny Bravo
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Bossman's gonna freak at this!

I dont have anything in particular against Bendis-NA and DD are, IMO, superb. Pulse is iffy, and HoM is ok-the fallout should be good.

So why dya hate him?
 

Caduceus

The Original Muffins Man
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marvelman said:
:shock:

This "two minutes hate" is oddly reminiscent of 1984. And somehow, I cannot resist it... :twisted:
I love it.

But I think its an obvious enough joke that its ok. If I'm wrong, the thread will mysteriously disappear.
 

Dr.Strangefate

He Sees You When You're Sleeping. He Knows When Yo
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Okay...

All jokingness aside, when bendis is good, he's really good, and when Loeb is good, he's really good.

They're both capable of bad things, but Ultimate Spider-Man is still one of my favorite titles, it's been on a downswing, but once he's done with this House of M crap, this will start getting better again. He writes teens in a way that keeps them interesting, and yeah... Powers is still one of my favorite comics (when he manages to put out an issue).

Loeb's Batman: The Long Halloween/Dark Victory are fantastic... aside from Batman: Year One and the Killing Joke, they're probably my alltime favorite issues.

The difference with Card is that he has NEVER written a good comic. These are his first, and they're not good.

so yeah, I know you disagree, but thats what I think.
 

ourchair

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I don't understand what you're talking about, Bass. Loebendis don't write fifty comics a month at all. That implies that their entire output can sustain the value judgement of being considered legitimate art and all that.
 

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