The Ultimate Central Talkshow Season 2

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ProjectX2

Don't expect me to take you with me when I go to s
The long awaited show has returned! After a year or two of constant masturbating, ProjectX2 has gotten off his arse, stolen Caduceus's idea of interviewing members, and used it to bring back the best thing that no one's ever heard of.

Since I stole that dumbass Australian's idea, I thought I'd better do him the pleasure of getting the chance to respond to my queries. Therefore, the first episode, 101, is all about our good friend...

State your name for the record.

Me?

No, that invisible guy leaning against the wall. Who do you think I’m talking to?

Shockingly, Rhys.

I’m amazed you can answer my questions and I still have no idea what you’re talking about.

I know. Who’da thunk.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Well, I'm a Pisces who likes ponies and the sound of my own voice.

Interesting. Do you have any sexual fetishes?

Long walks on broken glass.

That’s rather nasty. If I asked you to do anything for me right now, what would you say?

Yes, yes, always yes to you Proj.

Right, thanks. That turns me on more than you know. If you could have sex with any 5 people of your choosing, who would it be?

Dick Valentine, Sufjan Stevens, Socrates, Karl Marx and Tolstoy.

Right, I can understand that. I thought you would have denied those necrophiliac rumours though. Which UC member do you absolutely hate?

E, of course.

Any reason why?

I'm working on the “I'm all about using the power to beat people” thing.

Yeah, I guess it’s kind of hard to get past when you’re sexually abused by demons as a child. What’s your favourite food?

Baklava.

Hey, no need for racism. We’re all equal here. What are you thinking about at this exact moment?

The fact my mother got "The Satanic Verse" for Christmas.

Yeah, I heard you were in one of those weird Satanic cults. Jealous?

That I didn't think of it first.

So you’re like those Jehovah people? Travel around, give people Satanic presents to convert them? Sounds like fun. It all makes sense, especially when you combine the one avatar you’ve always had, an evil Mr. Sinister. Got any favourite jokes?

I don't have a favourite joke.

I heard you guys were a bunch of depressing emos. What do you do for a laugh then?

Make people hurt themselves playing Wii.

Ouch, I’m guessing that’s some weird Satan voodoo crap. Time for a subject change, I think. How about love?

I'm all about equal opportunity and making them come to me.

Here that ladies (and guys – I’m sure he takes what he can get), if you see an evil albino with a Hindu wandering around, he’s free for the taking. Anything else you’d like to say?

Excessive talking is overrated.

Guess I’d better shut up before you try some voodoo magic on me. Thanks for talking.

My ideas bring all the boys to the yard.

Alright… gay…
 

Ice

Teh Sexy Monkey Queen
Yay! The show is back!

Awesome interview. Now I feel creeped out by cad more than ever. :scared:
 

Planet-man

Well-Known Member
Great concept. This'll really liven things up around here.

By the way, whatever happened to the UC Newsletter?
 

marvelman

Well-Known Member
It is? I know Chatting With Cad is in it, but I don't recall Season 1.
Yeah you can totally interview me because I am clearly a very exciting member of the board :)roll: ) and I have been on here a good while... and yet most people still don't notice I'm here... Hence the Rodney Dangerfield "I don't get no respect" avataar. And I can take a good making fun of.
 
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Ice

Teh Sexy Monkey Queen
Yeah you can totally interview me because I am clearly a very exciting member of the board :)roll: ) and I have been on here a good while... and yet most people still don't notice I'm here... Hence the Rodney Dangerfield "I don't get no respect" avataar. And I can take a good making fun of.
Oh, welcome new member! :D
 

ProjectX2

Don't expect me to take you with me when I go to s
Your name?

Ice the master of all coldness. Or Luis for short.

Luis is a letter longer than Ice.

I dropped out after 2nd grade. Apparently 2 +2 does not equal fish. Go figure.

Huh, I thought it equalled terminal velocity. I guess we were both wrong. How old are you now?

I am 20 years old, as far as the doctors have told me.

You can’t always trust those doctors. They told me I had a vagina once. Have they ever made a mistake with you?

Seems so. They told me I was supposed to be a girl, but made me a boy. I guess that answers why I have played with bras before.

So you’re a female?

Maybe so.

It seems everyone on this board is hiding a secret… speaking about the board, why do you have so many posts?

When I wanna say something, I will. Most of the time I end up making myself look like jackass, which in turn, isnt too far off in reality.

Jackass is a TV show about guys doing stupid stuff. I don’t see the comparison, but alright. Any sexual fetishes?

Reading comic books, writing, watching movies, playing video games, and anything else that doesnt require me to do much activity, hehehe.

Wow. All of those things sound rather geeky, and not sexy. Whatever turns you on, then. Do you like people?

Crunchy, but with some milk and sugar, its like eating cheerios!

Cad’s a Satanist, you’re a cannibal… this website is scaring me. What are your thoughts on penises?

They look weird on women when its only one and its in the middle, like Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, which I actually saw this morning on the channel F/X. It's a hilarious movie and everyone should watch it. MY NAME IS BETTY! WEEE-OOOOO-WEEEE-OOOO-WEEE-OOO!!!

Um, right… Kung Pow is pretty good though. If you could meet 5 people, alive or dead, who would they be?

Hmmm... I'd meet Emalia Airheart and ask her where the hell she went. It's about time she told us where she disappeared off to, you know! I'd also like to meet Mayimoto, the creator of Mario. Also Brian K. Vaughn,a favorite comic writer of mine. John Cassaday 'cuz his art is teh awesome! And Shawn Ashmore, the movie Iceman. Okay, who didnt see that coming?

Shawn Ashmore? Gay! If you had to bed one comic character, who would it be?

Right now, Iron Man. Before it was Fury, but it be that iron bucket head who makes me want to rip out his armor and beat him with it.

Wow, that is some kinky stuff. Before we leave off, do you have anything else you’d like to say?

I'd like to invite all those who read this to come and join the dark side. It's been interpreted in the wrong way. We're not evil killers who want to dominate the galaxy that's far, far...faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar way. We just....want to control people, that's all. I mean really, what's wrong with that? So we take you prisoner and make you do things against your will? Too bad. Suck it up and let's go. I got me a Death Star version 2.0 to build.

You’ve been thinking about this far too much, Daft Vader. I don’t think I’ll talk to you ever again.

Get away from me.

I’m serious.

Get away from me.

Go.

Stop following me.

Freak.

I SHALL RULE ALL YOU PEONS! THE MOD GOD WILL SMITE ALL THEE NON-BELIEVERS! ULTIMATECENTRAL NAME FOREVER!
 

marvelman

Well-Known Member
Oh, welcome new member! :D
I HAVE 1181 POSTS, DAMMIT!!!

We need a smiley that flicks people off. :lol: :twisted:

and anti :rockon: if you will.

P.S. good interview. About time Ice showed his true colors.
 
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