"An Open Letter to Larry the Cable Guy" from David Cross (Fart)

[moonmaster]

David Cross has written a letter to Larry the Cable guy.

An Open Letter to Larry the Cable Guy

Hi everybody!
The following is a letter I wrote after picking up Git-R-Done, The Larry The Cable Guy Story (ghost written by Susan Sontag). I have to warn you that it's nearly 11 pages long. But I think it's chock full of life lessons for all of us and if you're not careful, you just might learn something!

An open letter to Larry The Cable Guy:

Hello Larry,
It's me, David Cross. Recently I was shooting something for my friends at "Wonder Showzen" (the funniest, most subversive comedy on American T.V. at the moment) and when we were taking a break one of the guys on the show asked me if I had seen some article in something somewhere wherein you were interviewed to promote your new book "Please-Git-R-Done" (published by Crown Books $23.95 U.S.) and they asked about your devoting a chapter to slamming me and the "P.C. Left". Since I stopped following your career shortly after you stopped going on stage wearing a tool belt with cable wrapped around your neck (around your appearance at "Laffs 'n' Food" in Enid, Oklahoma Aug 23-26 1999?) I said I wasn't aware of the article. They went on to tell me that you said basically (and I am not quoting but paraphrasing their recall) that I could kiss your ***, that I've never been to one of your shows (true) and that I didn't know your audience (untrue).
SO, I went and got your book, "Gitting-R-Donned", and excitedly skimmed past the joke about that one time you farted and something farty happened, on past the thing about the fat girl who farted and finally found it, Chapter 5 - Media Madness. Well, needless to say I farted. I farted up a fartstorm right there in the Flyin' J Travel Center. I fartingly bought the book and took it home with an excitement I haven't experienced since I got Bertha Chudfarter's Grandma drunk and she took her teeth out and blew me as I was finger banging her while wearing a Jesus sock puppet in the back of the boiler room at The Church of the Redeemer off I-20 (I don't care who you are, that's funny.)

Follow the link above to read the rest.

 

[Joe Kalicki]

I read this a long long time ago, but this is already the sceond site I've seen it posted on today. Why is it making a comeback?

Also, I liked Cross less after reading it.

And I hate Blue Collar Comedy.

 

[Gemini]

I read this a long long time ago, but this is already the sceond site I've seen it posted on today. Why is it making a comeback?

Also, I liked Cross less after reading it.

And I hate Blue Collar Comedy.

you know youre a red-neck when .....

how did this guy get a succesful game show, HOW IS THAT GAME SHOW SUCCESFUL!

(i'm talking about the other guy Jeff Foxworthy)

 

[Iceshadow]

Interesting letter, but Cross did come off as more of an *** than was necessary .

I read this a long long time ago, but this is already the sceond site I've seen it posted on today. Why is it making a comeback?

I don't know.

And I hate Blue Collar Comedy.

Me and my friends liked it when it first came out while we were in high school, but now we hate it (not to mention that ****ty Blue Collar TV).

 

[Joe Kalicki]

Me and my friends liked it when it first came out while we were in high school, but now we hate it (not to mention that ****ty Blue Collar TV).

I had a roomate who contstantly watched Blue Collar TV. There was exactly one joke on it that made me laugh.

"He was as frustrated as a deaf-mute playing Bingo, winning Bingo and trying to call Bingo."

 

[Lynx]

Bill Engval and Ron White are funny, and Foxworthy's not bad, but I can't stand Larry the Cable Guy.

Regardless, I didn't really find Cross' letter funny either.

 

[Random]

Bill Engval and Ron White are funny, and Foxworthy's not bad, but I can't stand Larry the Cable Guy.

Regardless, I didn't really find Cross' letter funny either.

I agree for the most part, but then comedy central played blue collar over and over again, I can't ****ing stand it now. It was funny but not funny enough for constant viewing

 

[E]

David Cross is a bit of a douche. Quite a bit, actually.

But Larry the Cable Guy is the most unfunny idiotic simpleton retard "comedian" I've ever heard. He has never made me laugh, and likely never will.

This letter, however, did.

 

[Ice]

"Meh."