David Caruso CSI:Miami Dramatic Sunglasses Line Delivery Appreciation Thread

Entropy said:
"The Writer's Guild just went on strike. No telling when it'll be resolved. Here's your coffee and danish."

"Well, I guess the only thing I'm at a loss for--"

* cue shades *

"--are words."

YYYEEEEAAAAHHH!!!!!
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:lol: :lol: :lol:
 
Bass said:
I'd've loved it if this had been around 15 years ago.

Because it would've fit perfectly into THE SECRET OF MONKEY ISLAND and the rest of that series.

For those of you who never played that game (for shame!) you took control of a pirate called Guybrush Threepwood and he gets into a sword fight, but you fight using insults. Your pirate enemy insults you and you have to pick the right insult to win.

For example,

"You fight like a dairy farmer."
"How appropriate, you fight like a cow."

And there were always some wrong answers like "Oh... oh yeah?" and the infamous, "Look behind you! A three-headed monkey!"
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The third game wasn't my favorite, but I like how they recycle the insult swordfighting concept.

Guybrush is onboard a ship at sea when he draws his sword --- all excited and stuff because he DID beat the Sword Master at insult fightintg --- he replies with a completely incompatible insult from the first game: "How appropriate, you fight like a cow!"

And of course, the man he's fighting is completely exasperated and says, "When you're at sea, your insults have to rhyme!" And as such we get verbal gems like these:
"Heaven preserve me! You look like something that's died!"

"The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde."
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And:
"You're a disgrace to your species, you're so undignified!"

"At least mine can be identified."
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Bass said:
So, I think the Caruso thing would've worked. You'd have a detective who tells you what the crime scene is and you have to pick the right one-liner.

"His body was cut up into fifteen pieces and left in fifteen different dumpsters."

And you'd pick:

"Then all we've got... is pieces of the puzzle."
"Gee. That's harsh."
"Look behind you a three-headed monkey!"

If you get it right... YEAAAAH! blares through your monitor.
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I've played the CSI games, actually and YES, this is exactly what they need.

It should just be an entire game of one liners from the beginning to the end.

As Horatio Caine, you don't do any detective work AT ALL. Just like on TV.

You just one-line your way into getting people to spill the beans and one-line your lab analysts into working.

In fact, everyone at the crime lab will NOT do anything but play Warioware on the Nintendo DS if you don't one-line them.

Best TV to game adaptation ever it would be, no?
 
"I see these results before me, but I have to ask?"

*Spins*

"Why do you suck so much at your job?"

YYEEEEAAAHHHHHHH!

"Are you trying to guilt me to do better work?"

"Maybe I am, but if I am the question that remains is...."

*Picks a booger*

"Why are you a practicing Catholic?"

YEAAHHHHHHH!!!!
 
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Entropy said:
"The Writer's Guild just went on strike. No telling when it'll be resolved. Here's your coffee and danish."

"Well, I guess the only thing I'm at a loss for--"

* cue shades *

"--are words."

YYYEEEEAAAAHHH!!!!!
Click to expand...
:lol:
ourchair said:
"So if this is a V.I.L.E. henchman..."

*puts on sunglasses*

"...then we must be on the right track!"

YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!
Click to expand...
:rockon:
 
Entropy said:
"The Writer's Guild just went on strike. No telling when it'll be resolved. Here's your coffee and danish."

"Well, I guess the only thing I'm at a loss for--"

* cue shades *

"--are words."

YYYEEEEAAAAHHH!!!!!
Click to expand...

This is probably the most clever so far
 
"We've found where the murderer is hiding at."

"Then that leaves one last question..."


*Licks finger nails*


"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"


YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
 
"I can see how he got the boat into Dolphins Stadium, my only question is. . . "

*sunglasses*

"How'd he fit so many balls in his mouth?"

YEEEAAAHHH!!!
 
"The killers are lose now. But what I wonder is..."

*Hops on one leg*


"Is it because Shia LaBouf isn't black?"


YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!





"The worst has yet to begin. And yet, there's one thing I'm still curious about..."


*Plays patty-cake with no one*


"How come Famke Janssen got to be the best man at Bass' and Nathan Fillion's wedding?"


YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
 
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One of the last five, the CBS crime series "CSI: Miami," was shut down on Thursday…
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"We've caught what seems to be our last murderer/rapist, but that leaves only one problem…"


*Puts sunglasses on for final time*


"Where am I going to show off my cool shades and witty lines now?"


YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
 
It's his birthday?

Looks like someone...

*sunglasses*

Took the cake.

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
 
Bass said:
It's his birthday?

Looks like someone...

*sunglasses*

Took the cake.

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
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Too bad the cake...


*puts on sunglasses*


...Is filled with semen.

YEEEAAAHHH!!! DUN-DUH-DUN!!
 
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