Dreamcasting: One size fits all


Well-Known Member
Oct 23, 2005
Toronto, Ontario(by way of the Kepler Verge)
Dreamcasting is fun, but difficult and time-consuming, and who has time for that? Therefore, I've taken the liberty to run all prior Dreamcasts through my new Cray XMP supercomputer to create an all-purpose list. Any future rounds are obselete and instigators will be removed.

Captain Average - Simon Pegg

The British comic/everyman/mock tough guy would be perfect in this role as the regular schlub in over his head in a world of superheroes and post-modernist humour. Also, he'd be playing a slightly different kind of role than usual and that would be good. In conclusion, Hot Fuzz kicked ***.

Alternative if unavailable: Seth Rogan.

WizKidd - Shia LaBeoueuf

Everybody's favourite up-and-comer is just right for the role of the smart-alecky yet ultimately invaluable teen recruit to the team. Hey, if Shia's in it, it's gotta be good.

Alternative if unavailable: Doesn't matter as long as they're from Superbad.

Sasserella - Kristin Bell

Clever, tough, witty, extremely hot, you know the deal. She's like, the female character in this and everything.

Alternative if unavailable: The chick who plays Starbuck on Battlestar Gallactica.

John J. Badass - Christian Bale

Bale CHANNELS the slick, brutal, yet darkly humourous weapons engineer/expert swordsman we all know and love.

Alternative if unavailable: Clive Owen, but don't worry, Bale can pump out a film faster than a teenage boy. He's always around.

Baritone - Michael Clarke Duncan

This one's a no-brainer.The hulking street fighter with a heart of gold is clearly based off of Duncan in the first place. Next.

Alternative if unavailable: None. The movie would be filmed around on MCD's schedule.

Nosfera-2 - Cillian Murphy

To me, no one would do a better job than Murphy at bringing the deadly vampiric cyborg to (un)life. This also rounds out minimum-two-people-from-Batman Begins rule quite nicely.

Alternative if unavailiable: Creepy albino Paul Bettany.

Israel Gray/The Scythe - Samuel L. Jackson

I know the character's typically known as more of reserved, upper-class European type, but I think retooling him as a smooth, ghetto-bred manipulator who's worked his way up to the top would be right for this.

and finally...

Dr. Xander Blackwood - Malcolm McDowell

I'm very happy with this. The cruel, pragmatic mastermind behind it all is a natural fit for McDowell, and honestly, I just always want to see more of him.

Alternative if unavailiable: Sir Ian McKellen.


Anyway, that settles that. Lock all the other threads. Shoot DSF. Return to your lives. Glad to be of service.

This movie is going to be awesome.
I tend to think of Christian Bale as less of a "John J. Badass" and more of a "Perenially Bored White Collar Jock".

Seriously, his roles inAmerican Psycho, Harsh Times and Batman Begins aren't just about being bad *** or 'disturbed' but about him being just perpetually bored with being so damn talented/rich/intelligent/sophisticated and still managing to look like a GQ model 24 hours a day.

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