Funny Stories from the Comic Book Store

ourchair

ourchair

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A thread for everyone to tell stories about stuff that happens at the store.

I was at the comic store with Compound and he and the store owner, a guy named Eric, were looking over the Marvel Previews.

So anyway, Compound spent a whole five minutes just complaining and cringing at the art for Ultimate Power, which featured Ultimate Sue, Ultimate Power Princess and Ultimate Scarlet Witch all drawn by Greg Land.

So he was going on and on about how they were all so 'sluttily drawn' and '****ing lewd cheesecake' and then he declared how Ultimate Power Princess looks like Chasey Lane.

And I'm like, "who the hell is Chasey Lane?"

And the store owner says, "Oh yeah you're right, Chasey Lane!"

And I say, "Who the hell is Chasey Lane?"

And Compound says, "Don't you know who Chasey Lane is?"

"No, I DON'T know who Chasey Lane is."

And the store owner says, "Chasey Lane's a porn star, man!"

Me: "So you're telling me, that Power Princess over here resembles a porn star you both know."

Store owner nods.

Me: "It strikes me as faintly disgusting that both of you are freely talking about the same porn star. As if it's perfectly okay for you to acknowledge that you wank off to the same girl."

Compound: "And?"

Me: "Doesn't a mental image get into your head...? bbrrrrrrr *shudder*"

Store owner says, "Don't tell me you don't know who Chasey Lane is. Don't you watch porn?"

Me: "People should spend less time watching porn and more time having sex with each other."

Compound: "He doesn't watch porn."

Store owner: "He doesn't watch porn."

Compound: "But yeah, she looks a lot like Chasey Lane..."

Store owner: "Yeah you're right..."

Me: "I no longer want to be in this room." *goes outside for a smoke while shuddering in disgust*
 
ourchair said:
A thread for everyone to tell stories about stuff that happens at the store.

I was at the comic store with Compound and he and the store owner, a guy named Eric, were looking over the Marvel Previews.

So anyway, Compound spent a whole five minutes just complaining and cringing at the art for Ultimate Power, which featured Ultimate Sue, Ultimate Power Princess and Ultimate Scarlet Witch all drawn by Greg Land.

So he was going on and on about how they were all so 'sluttily drawn' and '****ing lewd cheesecake' and then he declared how Ultimate Power Princess looks like Chasey Lane.

And I'm like, "who the hell is Chasey Lane?"

And the store owner says, "Oh yeah you're right, Chasey Lane!"

And I say, "Who the hell is Chasey Lane?"

And Compound says, "Don't you know who Chasey Lane is?"

"No, I DON'T know who Chasey Lane is."

And the store owner says, "Chasey Lane's a porn star, man!"

Me: "So you're telling me, that Power Princess over here resembles a porn star you both know."

Store owner nods.

Me: "It strikes me as faintly disgusting that both of you are freely talking about the same porn star. As if it's perfectly okay for you to acknowledge that you wank off to the same girl."

Compound: "And?"

Me: "Doesn't a mental image get into your head...? bbrrrrrrr *shudder*"

Store owner says, "Don't tell me you don't know who Chasey Lane is. Don't you watch porn?"

Me: "People should spend less time watching porn and more time having sex with each other."

Compound: "He doesn't watch porn."

Store owner: "He doesn't watch porn."

Compound: "But yeah, she looks a lot like Chasey Lane..."

Store owner: "Yeah you're right..."

Me: "I no longer want to be in this room." *goes outside for a smoke while shuddering in disgust*
Click to expand...
You don't know who Chasey Lane is???
 
ourchair said:
A thread for everyone to tell stories about stuff that happens at the store.

I was at the comic store with Compound and he and the store owner, a guy named Eric, were looking over the Marvel Previews.

So anyway, Compound spent a whole five minutes just complaining and cringing at the art for Ultimate Power, which featured Ultimate Sue, Ultimate Power Princess and Ultimate Scarlet Witch all drawn by Greg Land.

So he was going on and on about how they were all so 'sluttily drawn' and '****ing lewd cheesecake' and then he declared how Ultimate Power Princess looks like Chasey Lane.

And I'm like, "who the hell is Chasey Lane?"

And the store owner says, "Oh yeah you're right, Chasey Lane!"

And I say, "Who the hell is Chasey Lane?"

And Compound says, "Don't you know who Chasey Lane is?"

"No, I DON'T know who Chasey Lane is."

And the store owner says, "Chasey Lane's a porn star, man!"

Me: "So you're telling me, that Power Princess over here resembles a porn star you both know."

Store owner nods.

Me: "It strikes me as faintly disgusting that both of you are freely talking about the same porn star. As if it's perfectly okay for you to acknowledge that you wank off to the same girl."

Compound: "And?"

Me: "Doesn't a mental image get into your head...? bbrrrrrrr *shudder*"

Store owner says, "Don't tell me you don't know who Chasey Lane is. Don't you watch porn?"

Me: "People should spend less time watching porn and more time having sex with each other."

Compound: "He doesn't watch porn."

Store owner: "He doesn't watch porn."

Compound: "But yeah, she looks a lot like Chasey Lane..."

Store owner: "Yeah you're right..."

Me: "I no longer want to be in this room." *goes outside for a smoke while shuddering in disgust*
Click to expand...

You are soooooooo gay.

;) The talk of porn stars made you so uncomfortable that you had to go get your oral fixation, eh?
 
Wade_Wilson said:
Hey! Leave the porn out of this. It never did anything to you.
Click to expand...
Porn never flushes and leaves the toilet seat up.

Porn was responsible for the development of Digital Rights Management and other attempts by corporations to lock down technology in the service of obsolete notions of intellectual property and copyright.

Porn picks its nose and wipes the stuff on the hand-rails at the subway train.

Porn was the TV executive that decided to tease audiences with Heather Locklear's lingerie for 2 seconds and torture them with 2 minutes of a sweaty half-naked Dennis Franz.

Porn never tips.

Porn is the secret executive producer of two execrable movies based on Alan Moore's generally excellent works: From Hell and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Mommy did not throw away your favorite blanket. Porn did.

Porn is responsible for the Rape of Nanking, the incident at Tiananmen Square, the Japanese occupation of the Philippines and the bombing of Pearl Harbor and the assimilation of Bavaria into the German Empire.

Porn is the fixer that theatens to have the wives and children of toast killed unless they take a fall, and that they fall butter-side down.

Porn spearheaded the purchase of Heroes World by Marvel Comics, leading to a massive exodus from the distributor towards Diamond, creating the distribution near-monopoly it maintains today.
 
Wade_Wilson said:
Hey! Leave the porn out of this. It never did anything to you.
Click to expand...

You don't know that... For all you know her Ex. could have been an addict. Who after years of obsessively watching porn made it hard to do the one man salut when she entered the room.
 
the watcher said:
I didn't read it. So I guess you mean it sucks, right?..
Click to expand...

Just replace ourchair with Peter Parker, and Compound and the store owner with, I don't know, Nick Fury and Iron Man or something.

ourchair said:
And I say, "Who the hell is Chasey Lane?"

And Compound says, "Don't you know who Chasey Lane is?"

"No, I DON'T know who Chasey Lane is."

Store owner says, "Don't tell me you don't know who Chasey Lane is. Don't you watch porn?"

Me: "People should spend less time watching porn and more time having sex with each other."

Compound: "He doesn't watch porn."

Store owner: "He doesn't watch porn."

Compound: "But yeah, she looks a lot like Chasey Lane..."

Store owner: "Yeah you're right..."
Click to expand...
 
I'd like to thank my mom. And Jesus. Jesus was always there listening to my jokes, providing criticism. Thanks dude!
 
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