I Hate the Internet

moonmaster

Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
Joined
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Messages
13,670
I hate the Internet. Here's why. (If you're the kind of person who hear's someone else tell them that they should not look at something lest they be scarred for life but do it anyway, you might want to click "back" right now. (I know you're not going to though.))

Last night, while looking around YouTube, I started checking out shock site reaction videos, to 2girls1cup, lemon party, tubgirl. Y'know, the usual. The funny thing I've noticed that I have to admit is that this kind of stuff...just doesn't shock me much. I have not watched 2girls1cup for various reasons, but most of the shock photos I've been subjected to have barely elicited a reaction in me. I'm not an easy person to shock and for some reason, that kind of stuff just seems funny/bizarre to me. What really freaks me out is anything having to do with violence, which I avoid like the plague. At that point I was reminded of a conversation I had with two members here in The Chat (I absolutely cannot remember who it was.) where we discussed the BME Pain Olympics. I'm sure those of you who know what that one is just collectively cringed. [member who I cannot remember right now] had already seen it but I and [other member who I cannot remember right now] hadn't. We talked about it and the one of us who had seen it explained that he thought it wasn't real.

Remembering this, I decided to googulize the video, with no intention of actually watching it, but just to find out if it's ever been confirmed to be real or fake. While searching, I almost immediately came across a screenshot...and my first reaction was that I could totally see exactly how they would've faked it. Then I read various people pointing out things that didn't make sense about the video: 1. You'd bleed to death if you did that. 2. It wouldn't be that easy to just kind of pop your...well, you know. They're connected to the body by a thick cord and wrapped in a multi-layered web of nerves and veins and stuff. They don't just float around like golf balls. And then the clincher: the original version of the video actually said at the end that it was all fake and that it had been meant as a parody. Most people just cut out the warning when they started floating it around the internet. What a relief. But I was curious as to what it was a parody of. Here is where I should have turned back.

According to Wikipedia, BME stands for Body Modification Ezine, a website dedicated mainly to fans of tattoos, piercings, and other more unique ways to piss your parents off. But those with special subscriptions to the site can access areas having to do with considerably more extreme forms of body modification, with accompanying videos and pictures. From what I've read, it seems like what is simulated in the Pain Olympics video is most likely an exaggeration and that while people do do quite extreme things to themselves, you wouldn't do something like that unless you were trying to kill yourself. If you wanted it done and wanted to live, it would have to be done surgically.

Anyways, BME is a pay subscription site, which was good because I meant that I couldn't be tempted to actually visit it. (Considering the way he's used the theme of extreme body modification in his work, I would bet my soul that Ellis has an account there. This should be enough warning. Look at freaky body mod fetish stuff AND YOU TURN INTO WARREN ELLIS.) However, I saw that link to the "BME Wiki" at the bottom of the Wikipedia article and ******* it, I had to click on it. I mean how bad could it be, right? It's not like there's going to be pictures or anything. Right?

My morbid curiosity led me to go to exactly the pages you would/wouldn't want to see and...dear god...there were pictures. I could handle it for a few pages, a lot of them weren't that extreme, but then I had to see what "Subincision" is. What it is...is a procedure that if I were to describe it to you, this post would probably be deleted. And of course, there were photos. But that wasn't even what got me. It was the section where they started explaining why someone would have it done, what "pleasurable" activities could be pursued once you've had such a thing done to you. I finally became to queasy to read on when it began describing how hardcore of a masochist you'd have to be to be able to endure the kind of pain you'd experience just by having any kind of sexual contact once you've been "subincised", and was unable to learn what "head splitting" is. (I could easily guess, but I choose not to.) I mean, I'm a damn hippie, love-everybody liberal and even I was horrified beyond belief. I consider myself pretty open-minded but I can't come up with a reason why human beings who would be willingly "subincised" deserve to exist on this plane of reality. In fact, I have a working theory that such people are, in fact, Cenobites:

cenobites.jpg


How do they function?? How far have they descended into sexual deviancy that they would do something like that just to get off better? What if you get together with a nice girl who's not into that kind of **** and she see that thing? Wouldn't she throw up all over you? And wouldn't you then post it online for others to pleasure themselves to? Who are these people? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE!?!?

Ahem.

And that's why I hate the internet.

Note that I didn't include any links, even to the Wikipedia article. You may foolishly look up "Subincision" on your own time to figure out what it is but I hope that you don't. I'm getting sick right now, just thinking of it.





Now. Why don't we cleanse the pallet with a good old fashioned video of thirty or forty people being subject to the Pain Olympics.

[youtube]xsZhsZFfzBI[/youtube]

Hehe.

Now excuse me, I have to play with kittens or hug a teddy bear or something until my soul feels clean again.
 

ProjectX2

Don't expect me to take you with me when I go to s
Joined
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25,007
Creepy. One of them looks like Clayface. What the **** is that ****.

Also, you are right about Ellis. I remember him linking to some column about body modification... it wasn't a very pleasant place. I remember chicks with metal wings being hooked into their back, men with things shoved through their testicles hanging from bars in the ceiling... the internet is a scary place.
 

moonmaster

Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
Joined
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Messages
13,670
According to Wikipedia, hanging yourself from the ceiling by your skin, or suspension, is categorized within the normal, not extreme section of the site. (To be fair, I remember seeing people who do that on "Ripley's Believe It or Not". When Dean Cain has explained your extreme body modification fad to a national tv audience, it suddenly seems a lot less extreme.)
 

moonmaster

Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
Joined
Feb 23, 2005
Messages
13,670
Freak.

I think "subincision" should be the new UC meme. So you would start saying things like

"I'd rather be subincised than read another issue of Ultimates 3."

or

"Be quiet or I'll subincise you in front of your grandparents."
 

Jaggyd

The member formerly known as skotti-chan
Joined
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Ohio
Actually, I'm failing to see what your boggle is, I see this **** in real life. Hell, I had to do a Prince Albert last weekend.


-.-


At least I knew when to stop (and no, I'm not sharing the list)
 

moonmaster

Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
Joined
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Messages
13,670
Actually, I'm failing to see what your boggle is, I see this **** in real life. Hell, I had to do a Prince Albert last weekend.


-.-


At least I knew when to stop (and no, I'm not sharing the list)
Subincision makes a Prince Albert look like a temporary tattoo.
I can see the word boggle being something extreme.
Boggle is illegal in fourteen states.
 

Friday

Well-Known Member
Joined
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Washington, PA
Creepy. One of them looks like Clayface. What the **** is that ****.

Also, you are right about Ellis. I remember him linking to some column about body modification... it wasn't a very pleasant place. I remember chicks with metal wings being hooked into their back, men with things shoved through their testicles hanging from bars in the ceiling... the internet is a scary place.

He commonly posts links to ModBlog, a body modification site. I've seen both some cool stuff and some ****ed up **** from them.
According to Wikipedia, hanging yourself from the ceiling by your skin, or suspension, is categorized within the normal, not extreme section of the site. (To be fair, I remember seeing people who do that on "Ripley's Believe It or Not". When Dean Cain has explained your extreme body modification fad to a national tv audience, it suddenly seems a lot less extreme.)

Hell, I remember seeing that **** on HBO over a decade ago. Youngsters.
 
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Planet-man

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Joined
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Toronto, Ontario(by way of the Kepler Verge)
I like the internet for making it easier for this **** to go on in a controlled environment..... I guess.....

:|

No wait, ..... nah, just kill the ****ers. Blech.

*listens to "Solsbury Hill" to wash the taste of people in general out of mouth*
--------------------------------------^
-------------------------------.'
-------------------------
'
double entendre LOL!
 
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moonmaster

Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
Joined
Feb 23, 2005
Messages
13,670
Oh, the things I've heard about 2guys1horse....
Is that the one about the guy who gets
****ed to death by a horse?

If so, I haven't seen the video but I recently realized that I may have seen a documentary about the guy from it.
 
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ultimatedjf

Well-Known Member
Joined
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Boston, Massachusetts
Is that the one about the guy who gets
****ed to death by a horse?

Yeah, but he doesn't
die
during the video.

Apparently the
bucketfuls
of you-know-what the horse
gives him
rivals that scene from Scary Movie.

Which, sadly, just makes me laugh.

It also reminds me of Seth Rogen and Steve Carell's first scene together in The 40 Year-Old Virgin.
 

thee great one

Master of TOG-fu.
Joined
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In a seriousness, I would classified this as normal human behavior. People have done stuff like this forever and will always continue to do so.

But I do find it twisted and will never understand it.
 

Jaggyd

The member formerly known as skotti-chan
Joined
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Ohio
so... last night, I did a chastity piercing, and began an ornate pelvic tattoo on a very sexy young scene chick.


Also, hit my 100th hour tattooing. Halfway to the end of my apprenticeship.
 

moonmaster

Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
Joined
Feb 23, 2005
Messages
13,670
Yeah, but he doesn't
die
during the video.

Apparently the
bucketfuls
of you-know-what the horse
gives him
rivals that scene from Scary Movie.

Which, sadly, just makes me laugh.

It also reminds me of Seth Rogen and Steve Carell's first scene together in The 40 Year-Old Virgin.
The guy I'm talking about didn't die until later either. His colon was punctured and he waited a while to go to the hospital. (For obvious reasons.)

The documentary is called 'Zoo'. I caught it on IFC at like, 4 in the morning once. It was bizarre and eery and made you sympathize quite a bit with zoophiles. (Yes, they actually call themselves that.)
 

E

Moderator
Excelsior Club
Joined
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Messages
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The documentary is called 'Zoo'.

"This was a guy who was a conservative man at one point, and those ideas started breaking down for him. I think that 9/11 triggered a lot of it. But he was [also] in the center of one of the most secretive military complexes. Meanwhile, he listened to a lot of left-wing radio, he questioned everything our government was involved in, and he was ethically conflicted about his job and the money he was making. That's the core fascination for me." - Devor, describing his interest in the film's subject.

:lol:
 

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