For clone saga someone suggested having kaine and doc ock scheming together, I love that idea maybe if ock had a chip implanted in kaine to control him or spy on the others....and something went wrong..
Also something needs to be done with the long drawn out spiel from "Richard Parker" either make it true or cut it completely DON'T
put it in issue 100.
Everyone? I'm afraid to announce that Ninja4peace has won the thread. I realize no one else has tried to submit an improved arc, and he didn't either, and it isn't a contest, but that's just the way Grindhouse references work. He wins.
Huh? Oh, right, improving arcs.
TWILIGHTEL’S CLONE SAGA, PART 1 OF 2
First, I’ll list what I think must be accomplished, according to the rules.
Tarantula shows up and dies.
Kaine shows up and dies.
Doc Ock is behind it all and survives. Also, because BAMF is evil, “IT WAS THE METAL! ALL ALONG, IT WAS THE METAL!”
Spider-Woman, Jessica Drew, must show up.
Ben Reilly’s role is the same.
May finds out about Peter.
MJ and Peter get back together.
Old Peter shows up and dies. I’m not having him think he’s Peter’s dad. It’s stupid.
Spider Slayers show up.
FF find out Peter’s secret identity.
Scorpion and Gwen in SHIELD custody.
Wow, that’s a lot. Wish I didn’t have to kill so many clones, poor Kaine is just destined to be an awesome villain. I want to spend more time on the clones and not the stupid teenage drama. I know it’s sort of fudging the rules, but I’m going to suggest a couple of loose ends which could be left out, but I think would improve it.
Cassandra Webb is walking (rolling? Wasn’t she in a wheelchair?) along a hallway past cell doors with a guy in a suit. There is no ID badge or whatever visible on the man that would let you know who he’s working with, but it’s not a plot point. They’re talking about a recruitment program that SHIELD set up for ex-baddies. Mention of the Tinkerer and possibly Miles Warren, though by the rules I can’t do anything with him. They’re talking vaguely about how her talents might “come in handy” and stuff like that. They reach a cell with a shadowed figure in it. The guy asks her if she thinks she can do anything with him. She smiles and says yes, but in a really creepy way.
Cut to a few months later. Madame Webb and Doc Ock walk out of a lab in plain sight of some guards, who Webb has lobotomized with her powers. They’ll never recover. Think if Purple Man were a chick with ambition. Webb is a psychologist and her powers involve memory and the mind, but can and usually do cause massive brain damage (on her victim) when she uses them. She’s called in her last favor with a friend in SHIELD and some other people so that it’ll be years before the bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo is untangled and people realize they’re missing. The two go to the bunker seen in the Hobgoblin arc. This is why Webb teamed up with Ock, to get somewhere invisible to SHIELD where she could hide. Ock looks at some samples he’s found there. In the first arc, Ock took two blood samples under Osborn’s direction. One of them was immediately after the accident when Peter’s cells were dissolving. Another was from when he’d finished mutating and had all his powers.
Ock uses the good blood and the crappy blood to make clones, one from each sample. The crappy cells make Kaine and the good cells make Scorpion. Both are brain dead and Ock has them set up in regenerative pod things that Osborn made in case he ever got sick or injured, so their muscles won’t atrophy while he’s studying them. Ock wants to attach the spare arms we saw in Hobgoblin to himself, but he doesn’t know how to reproduce the accident. He decides to experiment on Scorpion’s spine.
Madame Webb is rebuilding her power base in New York City (the lab is somewhere in rural New York state) and she meets Ben Reilly, who’s been blacklisted (who wants to hire someone who’s been in trouble with SHIELD?) and is looking desperately for work. She finds out about Carnage by scanning his mind. The next day, she yells “Honey, I’m home!” and walks (rolls?) into the bunker with Ben and his Carnage sample. Ock experiments with it and exposes the clones to it. They wake up with motor functions and language skills and start to recall Peter’s memories up until the night he was fighting Gladiator and got the cut Carnage was cloned from.
Ock is barely able to contain his evil glee. He keeps using Scorpion for experiments on his spinal cord (very painful experiments). Scorpion’s memories aren’t very good because of the pain. Eventually, Scorpion gets his tail and kickass suit, but it’s not good enough for Ock because Scorpion’s attached to the suit. He turns to Kaine, who has been sitting abandoned in a cell all this time with memories filtering back. Ock talks to him for a bit and decides to name him Cain (I hate that stupid 90s excess ‘k’ spelling fad) because Ock will use him to destroy Peter. However, Ock has cracked the secret of cloning and can’t help but experiment some more. The first thing he does is make Jessica, because he wanted to see if he could and because she’d have a miserable existence—always fun! (Even evil memory-wipers involved in organized crime have some mercy, so let’s assume Webb gave her a hand with feminine hygiene.) Webb sees the potential in this, because they’ve got a little super-soldier factory set up. She decides to have him make more clones whose minds she can wipe and then sell. Ock makes Tarantula (he gets a name) and Not!Richard (by accident) and Carnage II (sort of by accident). Carnage II busts the hell out and the clones come with him before their memories are wiped, except for Scorpion. Webb and Ock take Scorpion with them, sedated, into New York City, so he can beat up the other clones, who got there by hitchhiking on trucks or just running. Scorpion’s mind is further tampered with, but it doesn’t take and he escapes.
It’s revealed that the Carnage which munched Gwen survived the smokestack, but is weak and dying. Carnage II finds it and the two merge, producing Gwarnage. What? Shut up! It’s not any worse than Bendis’ version.
The clones mostly do the things they were doing in the original Ultimate Clone Saga. Scorpion smashes up the mall, Cain makes a beeline for Mary Jane, Tarantula looks for Cain, and Jessica looks for Peter. (The Jessica identity was, as in the original, set up for her by Webb but she escaped before it was retconned into her memory.) Richard does different things.
Unlike in the original UCS, they work at cross-purposes. Scorpion is so crazy he can’t think, so he doesn’t really want anything. Webb played off of Peter’s fear for MJ’s safety and brainwashed Cain into wanting to inject her with OZ and forgetting about the spider. Tarantula has just been created and thus is slightly spastic with the six arms. Webb and Ock didn’t talk to/taunt him as much as they did the other clones, and he still secretly thinks he might not be a clone or might be able to look normal somehow. Richard (Ock named him that as a joke after seeing how much he looked like Peter’s dad) has realized that he’s dying and is panicking over this. He’s torn between wanting to help people and wanting to look for a way to delay his death, or at least have some fun before he degenerates to pieces. Jessica is resigned to what she is and that’s why she’s the one who worries the most about the others.
I’m bored with writing this and I want feedback, so I’ll go ahead and post part 1 now. I’ll finish it later.