Just a day in the park...

Ice

Teh Sexy Monkey Queen
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Ok, so you guys remember when GW ran the "Ultimate Survivor" thread? Remember the last "task" given before it closed down? Well, I do. And it was to write a story about the character you were, in a fight where he would win or loose. And I wrote the story, and still have it. I was saving it ust for this moment, after I had finished my HUNTERS & KILLERS arc.

So enjoy it, and post your thoughts on this as well.


(This story takes place in the 616 verse, no particular place in the comics, and happens during December 2004.)









Just a day in the park…



The Grind Stone Coffee House-


"Just listen ta me elf, you just go up ta Rachel, and just ask her 'bout the kiss between you two." Logan says, sitting across from Kurt, as they drink some coffee.

"Ah yes, the old 'Just ask deal.' I am not sure. I just seem…nervous, ja?" Kurt asks, as he looks out the window.

"Will that be all boys?" A voice asks them from behind.

"Yes, Noriko, thank you for your services." Kurt thanked her, while giving her a smile.

"So Logan, vhat vill you do for the new years?"

"Nothin' much. Just gonna pick up Amiko. She wants ta spend her winter break with me."

Suddenly, people outside start screaming and running. They all run in the same direction, as if they're running in a marathon.

"What the flamin' hell is goin' on now?" Logan asks himself, looking outside the window.

A huge robotic foot appears, and squishes a man, killing him.

"MEIN GOTT!" Kurt yells out in shock.

"Just great. The Sentinels are back. You know, a guy can't even get a coffee break 'round this joint." Wolverine then takes off the coat he was wearing, and reveals his costume, and putting his mask on. "Elf, go get the others. Tell 'em it's time ta come outside and play."

"Ja." BAMF!

As Kurt goes to get the rest of the X-Men, Wolverine decides to take matters on his own. Logan comes out into the streets, followed by Noriko.

"Kid, stay inside!" Logan yells at her.

"But I can help."

"No, no you can't! New Mutant or not, get yer carcass inside—NOW!"
Noriko goes back inside, and Logan goes out into the fray. He immediately pops his claws, jumps towards the Sentinel, and slashes away at its foot. The Sentinel looks down, and sees Logan attacking it. It then starts to scan him.

"Mutant signature detected. Terminate life immediately."

"You try that bub, and see what happens ta ya." Logan with one more slash, took out the Sentinel's right foot. The Sentinel then fell to the right, luckily missing civilians in its drop. Logan then went and started to attack his head. But the Sentinel shot beams out of its eyes, pushing Logan away.

"Damn, that hurts." Logan said. He got up, and went right back to the Sentinel's head. But this time, he jumped before he reached the head, getting on its shoulder, then falling behind its back.

"Let's see ya shot yer beams now." He went for the back of the Sentinel's head, and stuck his claws in it. He kept slashing and slashing, until he made a big whole in the head, and was able to get inside. There he cut all the wires there was. The Sentinel was finally down for the count.


Logan came out of the Sentinel, and says, "That seemed too easy. Even for a man like….holy $#^%."

Logan looked up in the sky, and saw there were ten more Sentinels on their way.

"You know, I'm starting ta think my day off ain't exactly gonna go the way I want it ta."

The Sentinels landed in a group, all saying the same thing:

"Mutant signature detected. Terminate life immediately."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same song and dance. Let's just get this over with." Logan, as always, rushes right into the Sentinels. He doesn't care that he's outnumbered. He'll fight until he can't anymore.

Logan goes from Sentinel to Sentinel, slashing wherever he strikes his claws. He's able to take down two, as the other Sentinels find other methods to evade him. Logan thinks that this will just be another long walk in the park. But the Sentinels started to prove him wrong.

I have ta change my methods, Logan thought. These blasted Sentinels seem ta be being made smarter now'a days.

Logan decided to try and confuse the Sentinels. He went and stood between two Sentinels. Both put their hands up, and shot at beam out of the palm of their hands, aiming it at Logan. Right before the lasers came at Logan, he jumped out the way, and each Sentinel actually shot each other in the head, creating a gap in them, and being out of function.

"That's four down, six flamin' left." Logan said.

The six remaining stood still. Logan looks up in confusion as he says, "Well, you gotta know this ain't gonna turn out good."

And as he predicted, it wasn't going to. The Sentinels yelled out:

"Cease attack mode. Now configuring, combination mode Alpha."

The Sentinels formed together, creating an even more giant sized sentinel.

"Oh come on. This can't be possible..." Logan said in disbelief of what had just happened.

"Sentinel Alpha Mode now complete." The Sentinel Alpha was a 20-foot giant sized robot.

"There's one way ta bring this piece of scrap metal down. And that's at its core."

Logan went straight towards the chest of the Sentinel Alpha, but it he was slapped back to the ground. Logan got right back up, and tried again. As the Sentinel Alpha was about to shoot its beam out of its hand, Logan quickly struck his claws right through the arm, cutting it off. The arm fell to the floor, and shot a beam as recoil. That quickly gave Logan an idea. He took the arm, and he punched it over and over, until he hit the right part for the beam from the hand to shoot.Logan, of course, made sure it aimed at the Sentinel's chest. Then, a beam shot right through the Sentinel's core, shutting it down permanently.

"Holy flamin' cow. That actually worked."

Not soon after Logan took down the Sentinel, the X-Men arrived. Nightcrawler bamfed right next to Logan.

"Vell? Vhere are the Sentinels? Have they stopped coming?" He asked looking around for them.

"All taken care of. You guys sure took yer time getting here." Logan asked, taking the mask of his costume down.

"Oh. Well, there's still one more thing Logan, that I vanted to ask you earlier."

"Yeah, and what's that?"

"Since vhen do you drink coffee? I always thought you vere strictly a 'beer only' man."

Nightcrawler looked at Logan, with a smile. Both walked back to the rest of the X-Men, laughing along the way.

X---END---X
 
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Good little story.

Just make sure your german is right. I don't think "Herr" is the right word for Noriko- and just after Ricky left too.
 
That was a pretty cool short story. Just when does it take place?
 
Oh yeah, I forgot about that bit. I was trying to put it into the Ultimate Universe. Lol. I do that with heaps of fics. :roll:
 
It's cool man. I like it. Dialouge is really good.
 
This works really well as a short piece because it has a distinctive beginning, middle and end. Hints of things that happened prior to the action we see here help to flesh out the characters. If this were original fiction, I'd ask for character descriptions and so on, but in fanfiction you can get away with assuming that most people recognize the characters in the story. The only tiny problem was the changing tenses in various parts of the story, but I can work around those. (And I'm not sure who Noriko is/was, but she's a minor character here, so it's not a problem.)

The fact that you focus mostly on just one character is to the story's advantage; this cuts down on extraneous details and personalities that would take away from the plot. I think it's interesting that the Sentinels decide that if six robots are ineffective, one really big one will do the job better. Apparently that's a glitch in the programming. The government-hired technician in charge of the programming needs to go back and watch the old Power Rangers show, because the "bigger monster tactic" never really seemed to work there, either. :wink:

Very quick thinking on Logan's part during the final confrontation. This suggests an experienced fighter who thinks on his feet and takes every advantage he can.

Love the name of the coffee house, by the way. And a nice bit of humor at the end, which brings us full-circle back to the beginning. Good work on this. 8)
 
Seldes Katne said:
(And I'm not sure who Noriko is/was, but she's a minor character here, so it's not a problem.)
She's a character from the New X-Men: Academy X series.



Seldes Katne said:
The fact that you focus mostly on just one character is to the story's advantage; this cuts down on extraneous details and personalities that would take away from the plot. I think it's interesting that the Sentinels decide that if six robots are ineffective, one really big one will do the job better. Apparently that's a glitch in the programming. The government-hired technician in charge of the programming needs to go back and watch the old Power Rangers show, because the "bigger monster tactic" never really seemed to work there, either. :wink:
Will the government EVER learn? lol :lol:


Seldes Katne said:
Love the name of the coffee house, by the way. And a nice bit of humor at the end, which brings us full-circle back to the beginning. Good work on this. 8)
The coffee house name is the coffee house in that's in the New Mutants series (it hasnt been shown again yet in New X-Men: Academy X), and like in this story, it's where Noriko works.

And thanks for the review. I enjoyed writing this, myself! :D
 
Was posting this over at fanfiction.net, and now decided to give this a little *bump* for anyone else who would like to check it out.

Please, read and review. :D
 

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