Lucy Dredd

compound

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What i'm about to post is a full draft working script for the first issue of Lucy Dredd, a 24-page mini-comic that Matthew Arcilla (ourchair) and I have been working on since 2003. I wrote the script, with conceptual guidance from Matt. I'm doing the layouts, and he's finishing the pencils, and inking it. We are self-publishing, and working on our own sched, hence the ridiculous delays.

Here's the basic premise: a nerdy American girl discovers that she's heir to an Eastern European dictatorship, after her super-villain Dad is killed, and leaves his 'estate' to her. She decides to get into the 'family business'. Basically, it's like The Princess Diaries, only her father is a blatant Doctor Doom analog, so instead of learning social graces, she has to become a megalomaniacal despot. Hilarity (presumably) ensues.

It was really meant as an initial guide for Matt to work from, so a lot of the notes are personalized (including the odd Tagalog phrase, here or there, in the notes). It might be a little disorienting at points, but it gives you fairly accurate idea of how the creative process unfolds between us, so I'm keeping edits to a minimum.

Matt has already made significant changes, especially to the order of the scenes, but the most recent copy is with him.

The issue is written as a self-contained one-shot, by itself, with the possible lead-in to future stories.

Please keep in mind that this is being shared on the basis of Creative Commons.

With that in mind, I hope you enjoy this little trip into my pop-addled brain.
 
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compound

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Lucy Dredd #1, pgs. 1 - 4

Lucy Dredd #1: "Girl, Coronated" draft script
written by Paolo Jose O. Cruz





Page 1

NARRATION (LUCY): This was me, one month ago.
Yeah, hard to believe, I know.

NARRATION (LUCY): Note the awkward gait, the unruly hair, and lack of discernible social life.

[Other than Lucy’s own unfavorable self-assessment, I leave it up to you to determine just how ‘unattractive’ she looked prior to her transformation into her Baroness persona. I’m inclined to make her look genuinely sloppy, though – more like Heather Matarazzo in “Welcome to the Dollhouse”, rather than Ann Hathaway in “Princess Diaries”, or Rachel Leigh Cook in “She’s All That”. Not ugly per se, but certainly poorly groomed, rather than simply grungy or tomboyish.. ]

Page 2

NARRATION (LUCY): Well... okay, so I exaggerated. This is AJ and Evan, my two best pals in the entire universe.

[AJ must appear vaguely riot grrrl-esque, but not too much. She has to be the emotional and rational ballast for Lucy, whenever she’s overwhelmed by the responsibilities – and temptations – of her new life. That kind of inner strength needs to be manifested in her look. Dyed hair, maybe? Piercings? I dunno. You decide.

Evan should be a ‘nerdy gwapito’ type – the Ron to Lucy’s Kim Possible, or maybe the Xander to her Buffy. Give him a visibly geeky design on his t-shirt, and a ‘Jew-fro’ hairstyle like Gordo from Lizzie Maguire. ]

NARRATION (LUCY): Of course, it doesn’t change the fact that eating lunch at the Outcasts’ Table in the caf doesn’t exactly work wonders for one’s self-esteem.

NARRATION (LUCY): So what happened, you ask?

Page 3

NARRATION (LUCY): He did.
Baron Vladislav Dredd, the late dictator of the authoritarian monarchy of Phantasmovakia.
[Okay, I know Dredd is meant to be a Dr. Doom analog – the iron helmet, the super-villain posturing, etc. But I want to make it clear that he’s as much an oppressive *political* leader as he is a megalomaniac with plans for world domination. Without getting into an extensive discussion, suffice it to say that any deluded Silver Age baddie would be looked at as the crackpot head of a ‘rogue state’ today, in this age of concerns about international terrorism and hunts for non-existent WMDs. So the visual depiction of Dredd should convey this.

Just the same, I want him to inspire the sense of majestic awe that had once been a part of classic baddies like Magneto or even Baron Zemo once had. ]

NARRATION (LUCY): ... and my Dad. Yeah, who’d have thunk? I certainly didn’t.
 
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compound

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Lucy Dredd #1, pgs. 4-8

Page 4

NARRATION (LUCY): So you could imagine how freaked out I was on the day Igor Sadecesku and his ‘manservant’, Sergei, showed up on my mom’s doorstep.

NARRATION (LUCY):
Uncle Igor was dad’s second-in-command. Real trusted guy. I’m surprised pops didn’t just choose to make him the new sovereign and put an end to whole royalty schtick. But apparently, my father was a real sucker for tradition or something.

[Igor should look like a campy 50s sci-fi ‘mad professor’ archetype, injected with a slight air of propriety... cartoonish in a Mike Allred kind of way, but just serious enough for readers to accept him as Lucy’s “Giles” figure in the ways of quasi-super-villainry.

Sergei resembles a guy whom you would more *traditionally* expect to be named ‘Igor’:
hunched, brutish, with just a faint hint of ‘gentle-monster’ about him... only he’s nearly seven feet tall. Think George Murasan crossed with Kevin O’ Neill’s version of Mr. Hyde.]

Page 5

NARRATION (LUCY): Besides, Sergei told me that chaos had broken out in my “homeland”,
ever since Dredd Senior’s reign ended with a mysterious bullet to the cranium, six weeks ago.

NARRATION (LUCY): Rioting. Looting.

NARRATION (LUCY): “Blood feuds”. Age-old conflicts between native Phants, and Lycan settlers.

[Don’t let the mythological-sounding names fool you – the competing factions should look like ordinary human peasants, displaying the harshest, most brutal aspects of human combat.

That’s waaay more horrific than any kind of supernatural conflict could ever hope to be.]

Page 6

NARRATION (LUCY): My dad’s iron rule was the only authority they ever recognized, and unless a new heir could be inaugurated within the month, the UN would be under orders to declare the country a deterritorialized warzone, and place it under NATO control.

NARRATION (LUCY): At first, I was hesitant. Me? Ruler of a country? What do I know about being a dictator? Usually, I can’t even summon up the nerve to complain when my flaky-*** mom leaves her crystals and paint brushes lying around the apartment. How was I supposed to instruct a nation of 2.5 million what to do with their lives?

Page 7

NARRATION (LUCY): Turns out the problems were a lot simpler than I realized.

NARRATION (LUCY): First, I solved the economic crisis by introducing a new primary cash crop – marijuana! I cut a deal to import several metric tons of top-quality Afghan seedlings. UN trade sanctions be damned.

NARRATION (LUCY): The frozen climate was a little tough, but Igor’s mad genetic modification skillz soon helped us to produce a more weather-resistant strain. Now it’s gonna be 4:20 all year round.

Page 8

NARRATION (LUCY): The best part is that the smoke keeps the peasants all chill and mellow-like.
No more strikes or wage disputes. Granted, the work rate has slowed down a little, but it’s a small cost
for a manageable peace-and-order situation.

NARRATION (LUCY): Sure, a few of the Latin cartels were a little pissed about us cutting into their share of the worldwide grass market, but let me tell you, most of them know better than to **** around with a Dredd.

[The head of a South American-looking thug is left brutally impaled onto a stake.]

Most of them.
 
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compound

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Lucy Dredd #1 pgs. 9 - 13

Page 9

NARRATION (LUCY): So, next up was to put an end to all the blood feuds and ethnic cleansing. This was a little trickier, because the petty hatred goes back several centuries. Luckily, I found the perfect solution – I brought in industrial quantities of pirated Mana: The Congregation cards.

NARRATION (LUCY): With a little help from the Ministry of Information, we had cleaned the streets of thugs, hooligans, and other miscellaneous riff raff, in a matter of weeks. They were all to be found in licensed gaming halls, settling their prejudices with “enchantments” and “chaos spheres”.

NARRATION (LUCY): Not only that, I decided to channel all the betting into a precise, modern gambling system, with a cut of every operator’s income going towards government programs.

Now, if only high school relationship issues could be solved as easily!

Page 10

NARRATION (LUCY): As you might guess, all this Baroness stuff had pushed me right into the spotlight, back in school. I was missing classes for days at a time, but Principal Veidt didn’t seem to mind, as long as it meant there was another semi-celebrity in the school.

NARRATION (Lucy): Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: what do you mean, another?
This guy right here... he’s Francis Baxter.

[Francis, today, as Lucy sees him... Make him look as flattering as possible – he ought to seem like a generically scruffy boy-next-door; handsome in that cardboard, WB-teen-rebel kind of way.

His good looks should not *yet* betray his cosmic-sized inferiority complex about his parents’ fame and his dad’s intelligence.]

NARRATION (Lucy): You know, as in son of Reeve and Deborah Baxter, a.k.a. The Genius and The Insubstantial Woman of the Quantum Quartet.

[Set up this panel to appear like a shelf in the Baxter household, with framed photos of Reeve, Deborah, and Francis, at different ages. Optionally, you may want to riff the poses and scenarios from classic Fantastic Four issues: the family posing with the ‘Silver Surfer’, as a Galactus-like cosmic being hovers in the background; the happy clan standing over the bodies of fallen mole-creatures, atbp. If space allows, you may combine this with more mundane images: a young Francis wearing a soccer jersey; Francis posing with a childhood idol – David Beckham?; Francis receiving an award for academic excellence in grade school, etc.]

Oh, and did I mention that he’s a complete hottie?

Page 11

NARRATION (Lucy): It’s so weird. Since the last time I was on the rag, I’ve been to a state luncheon with the U.S. Secretary of Foreign Affairs

NARRATION (Lucy): ... done a photo shoot with Eighteen magazine

NARRATION (Lucy): ... and met in private with Colonel Nathaniel Rage aboard the A.R.M.O.R. super-harrier.

Page 12-13

NARRATION (Lucy): But I’m still not comfy with being given a VIP spot in the lunchroom.

[Full two-page splash of the cafeteria, viewed from overhead... Lucy, AJ and Evan enter the cafeteria from the center door. There are benches clearly designated for Athletes, Honor Students, Asian Hipsters, Burn-Outs, Hip-Hoppers, etc. At the center of the room is an empty table ‘reserved’ for Lucy and friends, next to the spot – also vacant – to be occupied by the girls described on the next page.]
 
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compound

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Lucy Dredd #1 pgs. 14 - 18

Page 14

NARRATION (Lucy): I mention this because my new-found infamy has earned me not a few enemies on campus. Like these whores, for example...

[You may combine the following lines into one single panel, or break it up into smaller frames. Whatever seems appropriate? If possible, make it appear like the girls are walking ‘in formation’, in step with each others’ movements, looking straight ahead. ]​

NARRATION (Lucy): Tanya – heiress to Stork Industries. Never seen without her daddy’s Iron Card...

NARRATION (Lucy): K'nisha – spoiled rotten daughter of the ambassador of Wakundi...

NARRATION (Lucy): And their steadfast dominatrix, Stephanie Roberts – Team Captain of the All-USA Cheerleading Squad.

[Stephanie knocks Lucy and company out of the way, so that her own friends reach the center table first. The fake pout on her face suggests mock apology for what she just did.
I leave it up to you to decide what look is most suitable for Steph and her barkada. However, the narration already provides some clues, I hope. ]

Page 16

NARRATION (Lucy): And the worst part is that I can’t even use my, um, resources against them, because they are meant to be used strictly for the welfare of Phantasmovakia only.

NARRATION (Lucy): Fortunately, AJ has been able to come up with a few schemes for evening the odds.

[I have no idea what these methods could be – suggestions please?]

Page 17

NARRATION (Lucy): I try not to let it bother me – after all, I have bigger things to worry about.

Now that everything is under control in the homeland, Igor is preparing me for the more trivial aspects of being a dictator.


NARRATION (Lucy): He instructed a royal tailor to design a new wardrobe, to my liking. I decided to go with a Versace-by-way-of-M.-Bison look. You like?

Page 18

NARRATION (Lucy): But a cool look would only get me so far. I needed to be able to defend myself. Thankfully, I didn’t have to do any of that boring climb-the-ropes P.E. ****. This was the real deal.

NARRATION (Lucy): Fencing, hand-to-hand combat, target shooting, even some basic psychic training.

NARRATION (Lucy): I ended up arguing with Igor a few times, especially during the strategy lessons. I mean, that whole disclose-your-evil-scheme-to-your-captured-enemy routine is so played out.
 
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compound

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Lucy Dredd #1 pgs. 19 - 22

Page 19

NARRATION (Lucy): Then came the task of repairing the centuries-old fortress that my Dad used as his headquarters. It had been stormed by angry mobs so many times; I figured it could use a real architectural makeover.

NARRATION (Lucy): I relocated the huge-*** satellite dish further up the mountainside, so we could get the signal from the French porno channel, a few stations over from the redirected NATO transmissions.

NARRATION (Lucy): There were a few genetic freaks still lingering in the dungeon. Once I convinced them of my relative benevolence, I put them on my payroll – for deformed halfwits, they give a more relaxing massage than most professional spas.

Page 20

NARRATION (Lucy): And goodbye, tank of live barracudas. Sergei said my Dad wouldn’t approve, but I reminded him that I was still the new Baroness, and that’s how we’re gonna do things from now on.

NARRATION (Lucy): Oh, and I found all sorts of neat stuff in the ‘war room’ under the cellar. Even Igor wasn’t aware of some of it. I dunno if they qualify as Weapons of Mass Destruction, but hey, I won’t tell, if you don’t.

NARRATION (Lucy): All of this was in preparation for hunting down my Dad’s killer. Sure, he was, like, this tyrannical overlord. But he was still my flesh and blood, and vengeance needed to be served.

Page 21

NARRATION (Lucy): Of course, the ‘good guys’ were right on top of our list of suspects.

Those pompous science-heroes, the Quantum Quartet, always considered Dad one of their arch-nemeses. I wouldn’t put it past those arrogant blowhards to mastermind the whole thing.

Yeah, yeah... That’s no way to talk about my future boyfriend’s parents, I know, but what can I say? They’re a bunch of egghead adventurers who happen to possess superior technology. Well... Better them than the military, I guess. Which brings me to...

NARRATION (Lucy): Nate Rage. Like I said, the good Colonel and I had a closed-door tête-à-tête not long after my coronation. He seemed professional enough, but I’ve read enough of Dad’s leftover intelligence reports to know that this spymaster could have planned the killing with a little bit of effort.

Page 22

NARRATION (Lucy): Apparently, even some of his cohorts in the Brotherhood of Antagonistic Despots were none too pleased with his complacency, having long given up on their world-conquering aspirations.

[This is one full-page image, viewed from the end of a long boardroom table in a dimly-lit room. It depicts a veritable rogue’s gallery, with all the fiends, scoundrels, overlords, and ruffians turning their heads to face the reader. The characters should be very archetypal, rather than direct analogs, but I would like at least one human mob boss (think Kingpin, but you can vary his ethnicity, if you please); one ‘Oriental’ warlord (sort of an ‘Ultimate’ version of The Mandarin, perhaps with a dragon-like Fin Fang Foom-esque ‘bodyguard’); one armored robot-guy (similar to Brainiac, or Kang the Conqueror); one clown-inspired villain (more like ‘V’ or Harley Quinn than The Joker); and one ‘super-intelligent’ primate. ]
 

compound

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Lucy Dredd #1 pgs. 23 - 24

Page 23

NARRATION (Lucy): Privately, Igor confided that Sergei may have been my father’s killer, and I should never trust anyone but himself.

NARRATION (Lucy): Meanwhile, Sergei took me aside to regretfully air his suspicions that Igor may be the one who planned Dad’s assassination. Hmmm...

Page 24

NARRATION (Lucy): Whoever it is, they’re going to regret the day they ever incurred the wrath of...

Lucy Dredd!

[Her name should appear in an appropriately dramatic logo font.

This is basically one great big pin-up shot. Lucy is standing on the balcony of her father’s old castle hideout, overlooking the old-world capital below. She is finally adapting a classic super-villain pose. She is flanked by Igor and Sergei, who hover over her proudly, while AJ and Evan stand in the background with looks of eye-rolling disbelief (her) and giddy be-crushedness (him).]​

(Ohmigod! Did I just say that?)
 
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compound

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Lucy Dredd #1 end notes

First of all, THANX x 1 000 000, if you bothered to read the whole script.

Looking over this original draft now, I realize plenty of the flaws that Matt and I have attempted to correct, since then, especially with regards to the flow of events.

We've managed to agree on how to present most of the information, visually. Admittedly, I'm more of a prose writer, and yet most of my fiction is created by describing scenes that I picuture inside my head. So it was just a matter of mapping out exactly how that picture looks, in each scene.

We've even modified the crucial death scene involving Baron Dredd -- the key moment is as ridiculous as it is horrific. But I'd rather not spoil that little detail until we've got it on paper ;)

The narrative is basically one massive info-dump, so the challenge was to make Lucy's voice lively enough to carry the ideas. As a result, I ended up giving her lines that tell a lot about the situation, rather than how she feels about it.

The next stage was to find a way to depict her responses to all this. If the text gives us her view of the situation, the images will reflect a more 'objective' idea about how things are. That includes Lucy's mixture of nervousness, excitement, and -- oh so gradually -- comfort with these strange new circumstances.

Whenever I feel like I'm biting off more than I can chew with this labor of love, I realize just how much I would probably choke in a more professional setting. If anything, it helps me appreciate the kind of dedication and effort that must go into every single issue on my weekly pull list, warts and all.

Hopefully, one day i'll be talking about this on Fanboy Radio, referring to it as my "early work". But if that never happens, at least I was able to share it with you all.

As usual, feedback, suggestions, and violent reactions are most welcome! :D
 
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compound

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For those who've given Lucy Dredd a good read-through, i'm curious -- what kind of artwork do you expect from it, based on the script? Because it's actually shifted quite a bit, over time. And I'd like to know what kind of mental images pop into your head, after just one reading.
 

E.Vi.L.

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compound said:
For those who've given Lucy Dredd a good read-through, i'm curious -- what kind of artwork do you expect from it, based on the script? Because it's actually shifted quite a bit, over time. And I'd like to know what kind of mental images pop into your head, after just one reading.

It's too tongue in cheek for a realistic style of art work.

I'm picturing something a bit cartoony without relying on out of whacked proportions. The Simplicity of the lines of a Manga without actually being a Manga, if you know what I mean. Like Family Guy or Futurama for exemple.

It's interesting. The layout will make or break this. The relationship between the dialogue and the images has the potential to turn some of these lines into jems or to make them fall flat.

I'm especially amused by the bit about the tank of barracudas. You probably should have skeletons at the bottom of the tank with various super heros prop like a shield or a trident.

---

NARRATION (Lucy): Fortunately, AJ has been able to come up with a few schemes for evening the odds.

[I have no idea what these methods could be – suggestions please?]

You probably should depict AJ making an embarassing montage of these girls on the computer with Photoshop. The montage shouldn't be sexual. These girls sound like they would be embarassed to be identified to something geeky like a spelling bee or a comic convention.
 
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compound

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Lucy Dredd artwork feedback

roguefan said:
I'd prefer to see a more Stuart Immonen-style art work, and not a more realistic type like Hitc's style. More cartoony.
E.Vi.L. said:
It's too tongue in cheek for a realistic style of art work.

I'm picturing something a bit cartoony without relying on out of whacked proportions. The Simplicity of the lines of a Manga without actually being a Manga, if you know what I mean. Like Family Guy or Futurama for exemple.
Biggidy-BAM! Right on the money.

See, depending on how you look at it, Matt's artwork is either really versatile, or (by his own admission) lacking its own unique quality. So we decided to use that for our advantage by experimenting with a variety of looks.

At first, we tried going for designs that was closer to something published by Oni Press, or the better-known indie titles, since I'm doing the breakdowns. Think Steve Rolston (Queen & Country, Pounded), Evan Dorkin (Milk & Cheese), Dave Hahn (Vertigo's Bite Club), or Los Bros Hernandez (Love & Rockets), all of whom are my personal influences. Cartoony, but with a youthful rock n' roll touch, for lack of a better phrase.

But Matt has a preference for artists like Alex Maleev (Daredevil) and Mike Gaydos (Alias) -- stuff that's heavily photo-referenced and rotoscoped, which usually fares better in a more gritty or down-to-earth crime settings.

So the obvious(?) middle ground was to use Mike Avon Oeming's work on Powers as a general starting point for designing the look of the comic.

I'd like to believe the look we achieved, so far, wouldn't be out of place on the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim.


E.Vi.L. said:
It's interesting. The layout will make or break this. The relationship between the dialogue and the images has the potential to turn some of these lines into jems or to make them fall flat.
Oh, damn, that's initmidating, since I'm handling the panel layouts.

Mercifully, I've got Matt to help out because he's got plenty of brilliant ideas for the layout, and they're waaaay too good to waste, especially his insane plan for showing the Magic parody/blood fued resoultion. But it's a huge challenge to visualize the scenes in a way that gets the joke across properly.

His suggestion for the actual death scene of Lucy's father is completely off the wall, without giving away the real culprit, but it's got me stumped about how to illustrate it.

Oh, and he modified the elder Dredd's costume in a very minor way that nevertheless opens up a ridiculous future plotline about the way Silver Age villains hold grudges for dumbest reasons. You'll see, if we ever get it done ;)

I really appreciate the feedback, guys!
 

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Re: Lucy Dredd artwork feedback

Too much flattery in one post. :D

compound said:
Biggidy-BAM! Right on the money.

See, depending on how you look at it, Matt's artwork is either really versatile, or (by his own admission) lacking its own unique quality. So we decided to use that for our advantage by experimenting with a variety of looks.

But Matt has a preference for artists like Alex Maleev (Daredevil) and Mike Gaydos (Alias) -- stuff that's heavily photo-referenced and rotoscoped, which usually fares better in a more gritty or down-to-earth crime settings.
I do?

Well, I certainly wouldn't MIND having their sk1llz. But too bad I can't Photoshop to save my behind.

compound said:
Mercifully, I've got Matt to help out because he's got plenty of brilliant ideas for the layout, and they're waaaay too good to waste, especially his insane plan for showing the Magic parody/blood fued resoultion. But it's a huge challenge to visualize the scenes in a way that gets the joke across properly.

His suggestion for the actual death scene of Lucy's father is completely off the wall, without giving away the real culprit, but it's got me stumped about how to illustrate it.

Oh, and he modified the elder Dredd's costume in a very minor way that nevertheless opens up a ridiculous future plotline about the way Silver Age villains hold grudges for dumbest reasons. You'll see, if we ever get it done ;)
You give me too much credit. I don't recall providing THAT many ideas, save for a LOT of layout revisions most of which are in the revised script on my hard drive right now.

Twenty years from now, when we DO have a long body of collaborative comics work, we will be fighting over credit like Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. And we will also have very very very very poor memories like them. I can see it now:

COMPOUND: (near-mock genial tone a la Stan Lee) "Lucy Dredd is an idea I came up with that my publisher hated... See, I saw Lindsay Lohan on Mean Girls and I thought, "What if she was a supervillain"?" Ahurm, I've told this story so often it might actually be true...

OURCHAIR: "That's because its false! I CREATED Lucy Dredd. I also wrote most of it. You just lettered in the balloons, you hack!"

COMPOUND: "Oh choke on your cigar, you pencil pusher."
 

ProjectX2

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Ourchair's name is Matt? I thought it would have been something weird. I haven't read it yet, but I will soon.

Stop posting stuff in the fanfic forum Compound! I'll get behind!
 

ProjectX2

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Ha, this is awesome. Would love to see this as a comic with art by Immonen. Great stuff guys.

I also love the Marvel comic mentions, via the whores. :D

And you guys watch too much children's television...
 

Friday

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Intresting stuff here guys. My main question is on pacing. As a first issue the reflective nature of the script works, but it seems more like a jumping on point for an already established series. I know you're eager to get into the meat of your story but it might serve you better to show a few of these events unfolding instead of having her lay it all out for you. Unless you're planning to use a similar dialogue style through the run of the title. Issues opening with "Let me tell you about the first time I was shot", sort of an Ex Machina/Memento structure. But if you're not then having a "get to know you" bit, even if its just the first half of the first issue might work out better. Say we see a previously normal day for Miss Dredd and at the end of it comes home to find Igor and co complete with a black hellicopter with the Phantasmovakian symbols on its side in the front lawn. Expand it by maybe 1 issue and I think you could do a good bit more groundwork for later and maybe find a narritive style that could work better for future issues once you plan to start things moving forward.

I agree that the art for the book needs to be flexiable. Basicly OC needs to be able to make everything look deadly serious or damn funny without overtly changing the apperance of things (Anyone else get mightly annoyed when artists do that? From chibi crap in anime to the lil' endless it just bugs the hell out of me)o, but I've got faith in Matt on that one. (seriously, Matt? The western world has expanded its culture, I know, but i figured you guys atleast kept your names as your own. Most of ours suck.)

So have you done any submissions yet?
 

compound

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Bumped, just to show off to Zombipanda, really.

We actually got further on this than we did on most other projects.

However, reading it again, I do agree with Baxter... It could probably use a change in format, in terms of how the story is presented.

I deliberately wrote it to read like a "recap issue" of sorts, but if it's meant to be the first issue of an ongoing project, it really needs a less breakneck pace, when it comes to exposition.
 
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Friday

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However, reading it again, I do agree with Baxter... It could probably use a change in format, in terms of how the story is presented.

I deliberately wrote it to read like a "recap issue" of sorts, but if it's meant to be the first issue of an ongoing project, it really needs a less breakneck pace, when it comes to exposition.

Whoo hoo!

I still like the premise. You guys should finish this one up so I can stand around and say "I know them" and have people stare at me.
 

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So I was thinking about this at work today, mainly about how to make the flashback narrative work over a long term series. What if it opens a decade after the death of Lucy Dredd, conquerer of the world and overall dictator. Her death, however it may have been was what spurred revolution against her forces and lead to the current state of global reconstruction. On the anniversary of her death new documents are released to the public which amount to her diaries starting on the day she found out who she was and running up to the day before her death. It would allow a retrospective look at the story both from her view (this is what has happened recently) as well as commentary by "historians" on the impact that each event had on the world as well as Her. A bit of a preview/creator commentary on where things are planned to go.

I think I have too much free time at work.
 

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