For me personally, it isn't that I feel there needs to be references, it's more that it's obvious the reason there is contradiction is because of the division between Marvel Studios and Marvel Television. To the point, those behind the scenes are lazily saying it's "pre-snap" even when the evidence within those actual shows says otherwise. I'm not saying the shows aren't canon, just that if Marvel Studios saw them as important as their own projects, I'm sure they would have made sure everything lined up.From my experience, there are some people who expect MCU properties to just constantly reference each other, and so people started to "theorise" they were separate when the Netflix shows didnt just constantly reiterate the plots of the latest movies.
This view got a bit of merit when Endgame came out and the shows got immediately cancelled. As someone who views the shows as canon myself, I can admit that the fact that AOS and Runaways occur during the snap and its not mentioned is a bit awkward. But those discrepancies are common in the comics because keeping track of shared universes is really hard.
Over time its become so ingrained that the show are "definitely not canon" that people just cant accept otherwise, so now they have to come up with more convoluted theories to cover up the gaps rather than accept they were wrong.
It really shows the power of echo chambers to ingrain a tightly held belief about something
Also, it's much easier to maintain continuity in a visual medium like the MCU and I don't think it's a fair comparison to compare it to the comics when it comes to discrepancies. The timeline becomes less convoluted when you consider just Marvel Studios productions, which isn't me saying the shows aren't canon, just that it's at the very least obvious Marvel Studios doesn't see them on the same level as their own productions when it comes to having everything fit.
I mean even when there was more of a connection, it didn't always line up. If you watch the AoS tie-in to The Winter Soldier, the episode makes it look like the events of the movie happen within a day (Sitwell leaves for the Lemurian Star less than 24 hours from when HYDRA is revealed) compared to a few days like the movie.