Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Internets.

[moonmaster]

This is for you to read now:

I'm watching that ****ty movie about the crocodile in Africa that's a serial killer. Or something. 04:47 AM July 19, 2008 from twitterrific

I didn't know crocodiles could roar. 04:49 AM July 19, 2008 from twitterrific

Oh crap, the croc just saved the chick from some rapist guy. Run *****, run! 04:51 AM July 19, 2008 from twitterrific

The African kid just saved them with his gun. He's black, so he's probably in a gang. Is there a wing of the crips in Burundi? 04:56 AM July 19, 2008 from twitterrific

The crazy croc hunter got all blowed up and eaten. It's like Steve Irwin all over again. 04:59 AM July 19, 2008 from twitterrific

I think the African kid's name is Jar Jar. Or Jojo. But I'm just going to keep thinking it's Jar Jar. 05:12 AM July 19, 2008 from twitterrific

Ooo. They got double-crossed. 05:17 AM July 19, 2008 from twitterrific

Noooooooooooo!!! THE CROC KILLED ORLANDO JONES!!! **** YOU, ****ING CROCODILE!!! *weeps* 05:23 AM July 19, 2008 from twitterrific

Oh-ho!! The bad guy got totally ****ing eaten! He got bitten in half and then it popped his head open like a cherry gusher! 05:27 AM July 19, 2008 from twitterrific

Jar Jar survived and got to go to America like he always wanted. Yay. What a happy ending. 05:30 AM July 19, 2008 from twitterrific

...But the croc is still out there!! They should've shown it hanging from the bottom of the plane at the end though. 05:32 AM July 19, 2008 from twitterrific

Then they could have zoomed in on it and it could have winked at the camera and laughed maniacally. They'd be setting up the perfect sequel. 05:33 AM July 19, 2008 from twitterrific

That was an incredible cinematic experience. I give it nine "CRIKEY!""s out of ten. If you see one movie about giant crocodiles this year, 05:36 AM July 19, 2008 from twitterrific

make it "Mideval" or "Primeval" or whatever it's called. Forget TDK, "GIANT ****ING CROCODILE MOVIE" is where it's at. 05:39 AM July 19, 2008 from twitterrific

I'm starting a campaign to get that croc an Oscar nomination. That was an intense, disturbing performance. 05:40 AM July 19, 2008 from twitterrific

.......I'm tired. 05:41 AM July 19, 2008 from twitterrific

Thank you very much.

On next time's edition: The Academy Award Winning Film Scarecrows Men That Kill People.

 

[ProjectX2]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

It works better on Twitter.

 

[moonmaster]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

Your face works better on Twitter.

 

[ProjectX2]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

Your face works better on Twitter.

This is also true.

 

[Bass]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

At least he didn't merge all the posts into an incoherent mess into another thread. :cry:

 

[ProjectX2]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

At least he didn't merge all the posts into an incoherent mess into another thread. :cry:

I would if there was already a discussion thread about this crocodile crap, if he didn't plan on doing it more than once and if there was 80 ****ing posts!

 

[Gemini]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

whats the name of this movie?

 

[E]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

At least he didn't merge all the posts into an incoherent mess into another thread. :cry:

I'm missing the subtle reference here.

 

[moonmaster]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

whats the name of this movie?

"GIANT ****ING CROCODILE MOVIE".

 

[Thor]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

whats the name of this movie?

I'm guessing he's talking about Primeval.

 

[Bass]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

I'm missing the subtle reference here.

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE THREE!!!!! *shakes fist*

SUBTLE? Tom Cruise was in it! It's anything BUT subtle!

 

[E]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE THREE!!!!! *shakes fist*

SUBTLE? Tom Cruise was in it! It's anything BUT subtle!

I forgot everything about that movie the moment I stepped out of the theater.

 

[moonmaster]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

And now it is time for The Scarecrows:

I'm watching a movie about killer scarecrows. Seriously. 02:36 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

There's a bunch of guys who robbed an army base and escaped. One guy jumped out of the plane with all the money and threw a grenade at them 02:39 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

They threw the grenade out of the plane and it produced the lamest explosion effect I've ever seen. 02:41 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

Now they're looking for the guy. He's in an abandoned house...surrounded by scarecrows!!! 02:45 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

There's a guy who looks like Zangief from Street Fighter. 02:49 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

Ohh, shanked by a scarecrow. 02:55 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

I think the people who owned the old house were into witchcraft. They have a dead bird on a cross. 03:01 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

Oh those rednecks and their love of alternative forms of spiritual belief. 03:05 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

This girl is being held hostage and she's doing her ****ing makeup. THERE ARE SCARECROWS OUT THERE *****! THIS **** IS SERIOUS! 03:11 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

The guy with the money came back and he was cut open and full of money inside. OMG UNDEAD SCARECROW PEOPLE. 03:20 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

One guy after they had to shoot the guy 50 times and decapitate him to kill him: "What was he on?" He was on zombie meth, dumbass. 03:22 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

The hostage girl's dad got scarecrowed. : ( 03:23 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

The scarecrows are murderizing the dumbass. They sawed his hand off and stabbed him in the face. Owy. 03:27 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

The girl says that they don't want her, just the robbers. Because they stole from the government? These are some patriotic scarecrow zombies 03:35 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

She wants her damn dog. This girl is too stupid to live. 03:37 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

Zangief saved her from the scarecrow...in slow motion!! 03:40 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

Now she saved him. Aw. 03:43 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

Human head in the fridge! I hate when that happens. 03:44 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

The dumbass is back, sans lips. I think he's dead. And I think the scarecrows are done with their murderizing. 03:47 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

Spoke too soon! Undead daddy's back! 03:54 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

Zangief blew him up with a grenade, but the explosion seemed to be that of a firecracker (at best.) And didn't even damage the plane. Wow. 03:55 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

Haha, the dog is chewing on the body!! Excellent ending. 03:56 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

I give it nine undead scarecrows out of ten. Almost as great as Primeval, but with-unfortunately-far fewer giant killer crocodiles. 03:58 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

In next week's episode: Stephen King Presents: Murderous Trucks Who Want to Murder YOU: Starring Emilio Estevez: and the music of AC/DC:!

 

[Iceshadow]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

Human head in the fridge! I hate when that happens. 03:44 AM July 25, 2008 from twitterrific

Alexandra Dewitt was in this!?

 

[moonmaster]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

I'm now posting these on the blog.

MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE

The commentary.​

Now with all kinds of pictures and videos, meaning it's at least 60% better.

 

[Langsta]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

I'm now posting these on the blog.

MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE

The commentary.​

Now with all kinds of pictures and videos, meaning it's at least 60% better.

What the **** is this??

 

[moonmaster]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

What the **** is this??

Ask Ourchair.

 

[Langsta]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

Ask Ourchair.

Who the **** is Ourchair??

 

[moonmaster]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

Who the **** is Ourchair??

You're joking, right?

 

[Langsta]

Re: Moonmaster's Real-Time Expert Film Commentaries as Being Published on The Interne

You're joking, right?

Who the **** is joking??