My FF story

ProjectX2

Don't expect me to take you with me when I go to s
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Sep 15, 2004
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I was looking through my folder and found this one-shot FF story. I think it was from when I was trying to write for Project Marvel (Goodwill). Just thought I'd post it and you could read it.

Fantastic No More


New York
Reed Richards walked down the dark alley thinking. Thinking was what Reed did best and he seemed to do it all the time now. He used to think about happier places and happier times. But there weren’t any of them anymore. His wife, Sue Storm, divorced him because he was always too obsessed about his job. His best friend, Ben Grimm, had left Reed to go to a better place and to learn how to be a pilot. Now he had nothing. He was 35 years old and had brown and white hair. Even though he didn’t look old, he felt it. The strain on his body was intense. He hadn’t eaten or slept in days. He had only survived by drinking the black liquid that he found on the ground. But that was the thing about Reed. He didn’t need to eat or drink, and sometimes he didn’t even need to sleep. This was what came with being a washed up scientist.

A few years ago, Reed had flown into space aboard his experimental spaceship, with Sue, Ben and Sue’s teenage brother, Johnny. The ship had exceeded in leaving the Earth, but that was when the problem happened. They had flown into an electrical storm, which combined with the solar rays of the sun and dosed them all with radioactive powers. The ship crashed back onto Earth and the next day, they found out that all of them had superpowers. Sue could become invisible at will, and when she concentrated she could render other objects invisible as well as create invisible force fields. Ben’s skin had turned orange and rocky, and he now had super strength and invulnerability. Johnny’s body could now turn into flame and get so hot, that he could shoot fireballs and control fire. On the other hand, Reed’s body had been turned into an elastic substance and he could turn his body into any object at will. His stomach had also been enlarged and he no longer needed to eat and drink. They had been considered a superhero team, no, a superhero family. But that had all been changed now. Reed was abandoned by his so-called family, to live on the streets. Even though it was Reed’s small fortune that had bought everything for the team, he didn’t get anything. And so he now lived on the streets.

In a few months, Reed had learned much about the crime and gangs in New York. As Reed walked down the alley, he came across a door. It had tagging all over it, but Reed ignored it. He simply put his hand to the door and knocked three times. The door opened and there stood a man about the same height as Reed except fatter. The man had a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. It looked like he had thrown up on the shirt he was wearing and had pissed his pants. He also smelled like kitty litter.

“Whadda ya want?” The man asked with a grunt.

“A drink,” Reed said with a raspy voice. “I want a drink.”

“Ya shouldn’t be hanging round dese places.” The man said.

“I’ll give you money.” Reed said smiling giving the man money.

“Fine. C’mon in, if you dare.” The man grabbed the money and pulled Reed in. He then closed the door and went and sat down in a corner. More like, fell down though. Reed walked up to the counter. This probably used to be some kind of flash bar, until some gang lord like the Kingpin came along and took over it. It was full of ‘drunk to the max’ thugs and ‘doped up to the eyeballs’ teenagers. There was an old man serving people at the counter.

“Barkeeper, give me a vodka.” Reed asked while sitting down on the seat.

“Sorry, that guy over there drunk the last one.” The barkeeper pointed to an unconscious guy drooling on the floor.

“Give me what ever you do have left then.” Reed told him.

“One whisky coming right up.” The barkeeper said as he opened up a fridge and reached inside. He brought out a bottle and handed it to Reed. “They don’t give us alcohol on the taps, anymore. They say that this place is responsible for all the murders and raping out there you know. I haven’t seen you in here before. What brings you to the King’s pit?”

“I came here to get drunk and forget my sorrows. Just hope you got a lot of whisky, cause it takes a lot to get me drunk.” Reed said gulping down the last of his drink. “Give me another.”

“Hey, aren’t you that Mr. Fantastic guy? That one who lead the Fantastic Four?” The barkeeper asked not moving to get Reed’s drink.

“Yeah, I was once. Not anymore. Now where’s that drink you were getting me?” Reed asked angrily.

“I don’t know why I should be getting you a drink. You and your craptastic four put my brother and my nephew in jail. Boys, we got us a mutant freak! You know what we do to mutant freaks, don’t ya boys!” The barkeeper yelled while disappearing under the counter. Reed looked around. The guys were surrounding him. None of them had guns but most of them had some kind of weapon like a piece of wood or a broken glass.

“Get out of my bar freak! Or I’ll blow your freaking head off!” The barkeeper yelled shoving a double-barrel shotgun into the side of Reed’s head.

“But you have to understand! I’m not a mutant! I’m a normal human like you!” Reed protested getting out of his seat.

“I told you to leave! The Kingpin doesn’t like mutants in his bar! Do you wanna see the last one that got in here?” The barkeeper shouted as he pointed to the wall. There was a big red stain on the wall. Blood. “That’s gonna be you soon, freak!”

There was only one thing to do. Reed quickly dived to the ground and tackled the nearest guy next to him. The barkeeper aimed his gun and prepared to fire, but a giant hand came and smacked him into the wall. The hand then picked up the gun and broke it into two. The hand belonged to Reed Richards, who was using his powers to fight. These thugs didn’t know what they were getting into. Reed smiled at this and then concentrating, his body began to expand and cover all the guys. He then wrapped up like a ball, with the thugs inside. He tightened so there wasn’t even the smallest gap and waited. He waited for about three minutes and then unwrapped himself and turned back to normal. All the thugs had suffocated just as Reed planned. It saved him from getting into fisticuffs. Reed then picked up a brown coat off the floor that didn’t have any stains and put it on. He then walked out of the bar leaving his present to the Kingpin.

The Storm house, New York
Sue Storm was busily cleaning the house when Johnny came into the room. Johnny had blond spiky hair and was always wearing a hooded sweatshirt and jeans. It was called a style Johnny had said once to Sue. Sue also had blond hair like her brother but not as dark. She had it tied back in a ponytail and was wearing a cap. She had a plain old shirt on and some jeans. She turned the vacuum cleaner off and looked around at Johnny.

“I’m going out.” Johnny said plainly walking to the door.

“Wait a second, mister. Where are you going?” Sue asked like a mother.

“Just going out, to hang with some mates.” Johnny answered. “Can I go now?”

“You better not get into any trouble now, Johnny. I don’t want you to get another broken arm.” Sue said.

“For God’s sake! For the hundredth time, you are not my mother! I’m nineteen years old now! I’m not a kid for the last time! Why can’t you ever just leave me alone?” Johnny yelled as he ran out of the house.

“I guess I tried.” Sue mumbled to herself, going back to cleaning.


“Benjamin Jacob Grimm! What can I do for you, my old friend?” A man said shaking hands with a big man covered in a big brown jacket. “Get that big coat off you! It’s too hot to be wearing a coat in these conditions.”
“Believe me, you don’t want me to take it off.” Ben said.

“I know you Ben. I have seen you on television. I know what you look like, and basically I don’t care. Your still got the ugly mug you used to have.” The man laughed as he said. Ben took off his coat and put it on the counter. His orange rocky skin shined in the sunlight. Surrounding people began to look at Ben.

“Hey look! It’s the Thing! That guy from the Fantastic Four!” People shouted pointing at Ben.

“Not anymore folks. I’m just the plain old Benjamin Jacob Grimm.” Ben said slightly confused. A little girl ran up to Ben and shoved a bit of paper and a pen into his stomach.

“Mister, can I have your autograph?” The little girl asked with big puppy dog eyes.

“Well, you can’t say no to that.” Ben said as he took the paper and signed it.

“It looks like your back to being the ever loving, blue-eyed Thing, mister Grimm.” The man said laughing.


Johnny Storm walked down the ruined road known as Yancy Street. There had been many gang wars down this road and you could tell. Half destroyed buildings, broken down cars and bullet holes in everything. Ever since the Fantastic Four had broken up, Johnny had felt sad. He had lost his only friend, Ben Grimm and his father figure Reed Richards. Johnny’s father had been sentenced to life in a prison when Johnny was little and his mother was sick. So sick, in fact, that she eventually died, leaving Sue to look after Johnny. He just wished he could have a normal life, just like other teenagers. Johnny had left school and had tried to get a job, but no one wanted him. He only survived thanks to the money Reed had left him and Sue being an athlete. He often wondered where Reed and Ben had gone. He didn’t even know why the Four split up. Reed had gotten into a fight with Sue and left. With no leader, for some reason, the government shut down the Fantastic Four and then Ben left to become a pilot. He just wished they could get back together somehow. They could be a super team again, no, a super family. Johnny turned the corner and that was when the idea hit him. There used to be a street gang called ‘The 4’ and they tried to humiliate the Fantastic Four. They lived in Yancy Street and Johnny just came upon their base. There was a giant ‘4’ painted on the wall. It would give a welcome to gang members and a warning to other gangs. Johnny then knew how to get the team back together. Johnny quickly took off his sweatshirt and jeans and put them on the ground. He then pulled off his shirt, socks and shoes. He was then standing there naked except for wearing boxers. It was much easier when he wore the Fantastic uniform. He hadn’t done this since the Four had broken up. He concentrated for a moment and then with a cry of ‘Flame on!’ Johnny burst into flames. He warmed the air around him and shot off into the sky like a rocket. He felt the warm wind blow past his face as he moved around in a certain shape. He would make a burning giant ‘4’ in the sky to attract all he members of the Fantastic Four. He only hoped that they were all still in New York. He moved into the shape of a 4 and kept going around and around until the number burned brighter than anything else in the sky, except for the sun. Johnny flew back onto the top of a skyscraper, still bursting flames, and hoped that they would get the call. The time had come… the time of the Fantastic!
 

Aeroth

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 13, 2004
Messages
478
Location
The OTHER Vancouver
So this is a one-shot story? I notice that nothing really gets resolved, so I'm guessing this was a failed pilot or something...

Other than that, the story was pretty good. The writing was solid, and this dark future interested me a lot. The characterization of Reed was a little off for a man of his intelligence, but I'm guessing that something led to this personality of his.
 
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ProjectX2

Don't expect me to take you with me when I go to s
Joined
Sep 15, 2004
Messages
25,007
Yeah, it was sort of like a prologue of a grim FF but it didn't work out.
 

Caduceus

The Original Muffins Man
Joined
Sep 6, 2004
Messages
5,491
Location
Australia
It was a good plot and the dialog was alright but just watch out for using bad cliches. Good job!
 

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