Storytime.

thee great one

Master of TOG-fu.
Joined
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Location
Mormon Land.
So I have finally had it. I have decided that Bass really is the nexus. At my last job I worked with a guy with the last name Bass. At my new job, one of the kind of furniture is called Bassnett or Bass for short. My new videogame as a Bass character in it. So....



I don't what the point of this thread is.
 

ProjectX2

Don't expect me to take you with me when I go to s
Joined
Sep 15, 2004
Messages
25,007
I also do not think it is a coicidence that there is a guitar named after him.

But we must also remember, that Bass - B = ***. :D
 

J. Agamemnon

Well-Known Member
Joined
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Messages
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Yes and *** is always good no matter how you get it....unless it has an std or a yeast infection. Then stay away from ***. Just go bass fishing instead. Much safer........8)
 

moonmaster

Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
Joined
Feb 23, 2005
Messages
13,670
This one time I went to Anatarctica and crossed the frozen wastes until I found this little bar. It was the most rundown place you've ever seen and every bastard inside looked like he could punch an elephant's head clear to Kentucky. It was below zero, but they were all sitting around in tshirts and swimming trunks. So, I go into this place and some ******* goes

"Aren't you a little overdressed?"

And I go

"Aren't you a little gay?"

Now this ****er leaps up and pins me against the wall. He and all his buds gather 'round me and start talking about what they're gonna do with me. But then the bartender speaks up.

"Hey guys, I think we can solve this in a less violent manner..."

The lead jackass says

"...Oh, I know what ya mean."

And all the other jackasses start chanting

"ARMWRESTLE!ARMWRESTLE!ARMWRESTLE!"

So, we armwrestled. I had to go through a gauntlet of these bastards. They had a full professional set up for this stuff. They all stood in line. The first sat down. He had jet black hair and an enormous beard. Before we began he simply said

"Grrrrrr"

Before grabbing my hand with his massive lump of a fist. But then something surprising happened. I quickly and easily slammed his fist into the table. I was astonished and so was he. The second stepped up and I defeated him too. And so I defeated each and every single brute and strongman in the bar easily, no matter how huge or imposing. And when I finally came to King Jackass (as I had named him by now), I stared him down and almost made him think he could beat me before I bent his wrist so violently that he screamed. The bartender looked at me and said in amazement

"What the hell is wrong with you, Mister? Listen, we got one more challenge to give ya....If ya dare to except..."

"...**** yeah."

The bartender walked into the back and I heard a loud tussling and ... a roar. I first saw him come out holding a leash. Following behind on the leash was a 12 foot tall Polar Bear.

"You're kidding me, right?"

I said.

"Nope. Now put yer mit up and show 'Frosty' some respect."

He sat Frosty across from me and we both stared at each other. His eyes were calm but full of violence. I put my hand up, shaking. He gripped it with a clawed and cold paw. The bartender made a motion in the air with tree fingers "Three, Two, One."

I felt a horrible tug on my hand and tried to fight it. The bear was strong. I snarled at Frosty and he snarled back. My hand came down and almost touched the table, but I fought back. I managed to get his paw far to the other side but I became exhausted by the effort. When I was at my weakest the bear took advantage and yanked my arm to the other side. I saw it move in slow motion. Getting closer, closer, closer...But then something miraculous happened. A steel-toed boot swooped in like a fighter plane and dug it self deep into Frosty's testacles. Frosty let out a whimpering scream and agony filled its face. I slammed its now limp paw to the table and the bear fell backwards out of its chair. I looked around for my savior but the Jackasses returned stunned looks of confusion. Thats when I turned to see who was standing next to me.

It was Bass, in a pair of steel-toed boots. We highfived in triumph and the bar patrons began chanting again

"MOONY AND BASS! MOONY AND BASS! MOONY AND BASS!"

We celebrated the victory with pretzels, beer and new friends.

It was the best birthday ever.
 
Last edited:
K

Korinthian

Guest
All that and not one explaination of the origin of the super strength.

At a moment I thought they were all faking weakness to get you to armwrestle some polar bear (sucker), but I guess they weren't that smart.
 

moonmaster

Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
Joined
Feb 23, 2005
Messages
13,670
Korinthian said:
All that and not one explaination of the origin of the super strength.

At a moment I thought they were all faking weakness to get you to armwrestle some polar bear (sucker), but I guess they weren't that smart.
No, I'm just awesome.
 

thee great one

Master of TOG-fu.
Joined
Jan 27, 2005
Messages
15,570
Location
Mormon Land.
moonmaster said:
This one time I went to Anatarctica and crossed the frozen wastes until I found this little bar. It was the most rundown place you've ever seen and every bastard inside looked like he could punch an elephant's head clear to Kentucky. It was below zero, but they were all sitting around in tshirts and swimming trunks. So, I go into this place and some ******* goes

"Aren't you a little overdressed?"

And I go

"Aren't you a little gay?"

Now this ****er leaps up and pins me against the wall. He and all his buds gather 'round me and start talking about what they're gonna do with me. But then the bartender speaks up.

"Hey guys, I think we can solve this in a less violent manner..."

The lead jackass says

"...Oh, I know what ya mean."

And all the other jackasses start chanting

"ARMWRESTLE!ARMWRESTLE!ARMWRESTLE!"

So, we armwrestled. I had to go through a gauntlet of these bastards. They had a full professional set up for this stuff. They all stood in line. The first sat down. He had jet black hair and an enormous beard. Before we began he simply said

"Grrrrrr"

Before grabbing my hand with his massive lump of a fist. But then something surprising happened. I quickly and easily slammed his fist into the table. I was astonished and so was he. The second stepped up and I defeated him too. And so I defeated each and every single brute and strongman in the bar easily, no matter how huge or imposing. And when I finally came to King Jackass (as I had named him by now), I stared him down and almost made him think he could beat me before I bent his wrist so violently that he screamed. The bartender looked at me and said in amazement

"What the hell is wrong with you, Mister? Listen, we got one more challenge to give ya....If ya dare to except..."

"...**** yeah."

The bartender walked into the back and I heard a loud tussling and ... a roar. I first saw him come out holding a leash. Following behind on the leash was a 12 foot tall Polar Bear.

"You're kidding me, right?"

I said.

"Nope. Now put yer mit up and show 'Frosty' some respect."

He sat Frosty across from me and we both stared at each other. His eyes were calm but full of violence. I put my hand up, shaking. He gripped it with a clawed and cold paw. The bartender made a motion in the air with tree fingers "Three, Two, One."

I felt a horrible tug on my hand and tried to fight it. The bear was strong. I snarled at Frosty and he snarled back. My hand came down and almost touched the table, but I fought back. I managed to get his paw far to the other side but I became exhausted by the effort. When I was at my weakest the bear took advantage and yanked my arm to the other side. I saw it move in slow motion. Getting closer, closer, closer...But then something miraculous happened. A steel-toed boot swooped in like a fighter plane and dug it self deep into Frosty's testacles. Frosty let out a whimpering scream and agony filled its face. I slammed its now limp paw to the table and the bear fell backwards out of its chair. I looked around for my savior but the Jackasses returned stunned looks of confusion. Thats when I turned to see who was standing next to me.

It was Bass, in a pair of steel-toed boots. We highfived in triumph and the bar patrons began chanting again

"MOONY AND BASS! MOONY AND BASS! MOONY AND BASS!"

We celebrated the victory with pretzels, beer and new friends.

It was the best birthday ever.


Dude,


What the ****?
 

J. Agamemnon

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 25, 2006
Messages
4,168
Location
Austin, Texas
I second that! What the ****?! YOUY HAVE GOT TO BE THE WEIRDEST, MOST FOOLISH, COOLEST STORY TELLER ON UC!!!! No, seriously. That was pretty funny.
 

thee great one

Master of TOG-fu.
Joined
Jan 27, 2005
Messages
15,570
Location
Mormon Land.
J. Agamemnon said:
I second that! What the ****?! YOUY HAVE GOT TO BE THE WEIRDEST, MOST FOOLISH, COOLEST STORY TELLER ON UC!!!! No, seriously. That was pretty funny.

who? me or moony.

Cause I'm going to slap you either way.
 

J. Agamemnon

Well-Known Member
Joined
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Messages
4,168
Location
Austin, Texas
hmm...now that you think of it, it is a little confusing to understand. And I'm a writing major. I dunno, I was agreeing with you and then i said what he wrote was funny stuff. I say stuff because they'll bleep out ****.
 

thee great one

Master of TOG-fu.
Joined
Jan 27, 2005
Messages
15,570
Location
Mormon Land.
J. Agamemnon said:
hmm...now that you think of it, it is a little confusing to understand. And I'm a writing major. I dunno, I was agreeing with you and then i said what he wrote was funny stuff. I say stuff because they'll bleep out ****.

I still don't get it.

*Slap*

I'm slapping people I don't understand

*waits for it*
 

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