"Within seconds, his tongue was inside her, moving rapidly."Bill O'Reilly's writing fantasy novels now?
"Her buttocks were.... a fist."
"Her pubes was a field of wheat after the harvest"
I don't think that's grammatically correct.
"Her arms were a corral, a fence, an enlcosure; they were pennants, they were highways."
They have highways in this faeaaerie kingdom?
Its quite obvious this book was co-written by LSD.
Ashton went into the dance. Everyone made a big deal about him and asked for his autographs. They knew him mostly as Kelso and had not seen him in everything else he had done, especially not "The Butterfly Effect" fourteen times. Susan Walcott pushed out her B-cups to get his attention. But Ashton did not even notice her as he walked past her and her Uggs from last year.
"My name is Ashton," he declared cutely. "Whutz yours?"
"Marisa Ball," retorted the girl.
"Why are you alone?" he questioned, his dark hair flowing like a dark river.
"Why are *you* alone?" she flirted confidently.
I like the "And then he rapes her" bit at the end.