Yo mamma

Gamma Man

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 25, 2006
Messages
1,053
Location
The Place wedged inbtween Reality and my Bookshelf
Okay, I was searching the net, and found this site DEDICATED to yo mamma jokes, and I wanted everyone to see. So:

  1. Yo momma's so dumb when she saw under 17 not admitted sign she went home and got 16 friends
  2. Yo momma's so poor each night she goes to KFC to lick other folks fingers
  3. Yo momma's so old one of her pets was on on Noahs Ark
  4. Yo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone
  5. Yo momma's so dumb she passed by YMCA and said hey look they spelled MACYs wrong
  6. Yo momma's so poor people rob her house for practice
  7. Yo momma's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals
  8. Yo momma's so poor she married young just to get the rice
  9. Yo momma's so dumb she failed a survey
  10. Yo momma's so dumb she fell up the stairs
  11. Yo momma's so dumb she asked for a price check at the dollar store
  12. Yo momma's so dumb she invented a silent car alarm
  13. Yo momma's so dumb and poor that when I came over for dinner she read me recipes
  14. Yo momma's so dumb at bottom of application where it says Sign Here she put Sagitarius
  15. Yo momma's so dumb she got a part time job painting skittles
  16. Yo momma's so dumb she put on her glasses to watch 20/20
  17. Yo momma's so dumb her brain cells are on the endangered species list
  18. Yo momma's so dumb her brain cells die ALONE
  19. Yo momma's so dumb her are square cuz she forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box
  20. Yo momma's so dumb her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard
  21. Yo momma's so dumb her latest invention was a glass hammer
  22. Yo momma's so dumb her shoes say TGIF - toes go in front
  23. Yo momma's so dumb I asked her do tricks for me and she wagged her tail
  24. Yo momma's so dumb I don't even understand how stupid she is
  25. Yo momma's so dumb I found her peaking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side
  26. Yo momma's so dumb I put a ScratchNSniff sticker on the bottom of the pool and she drowned
  27. Yo momma's so dumb I said give me a quarterback and she gave me Dan Marino
  28. Yo momma's so dumb I said it was chilli outside and she ran in and got a bowl
  29. Yo momma's so dumb I said lets go to the superbowl and she ran and got a spoon
  30. Yo momma's so dumb I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod
  31. Yo momma's so dumb I saw her jumping up and down asked what she was doing and she said she drank a bottle of medicine and forgot to shake it
  32. Yo momma's so dumb I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope asked what she was doing and she said sending a voice mail
  33. Yo momma's so dumb I taught her how to do the running man and I havent seen her since
  34. Yo momma's so dumb I think its a new world record
  35. Yo momma's so dumb I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it
  36. Yo momma's so dumb I told her drinks were on the house so she went and got a ladder
  37. Yo momma's so dumb I told her I was reading a book by Homer and she asked if I had anything written by Bart
  38. Yo momma's so dumb if brains were dynamite she wouldnt have enough to blow her nose
  39. Yo momma's so dumb if brains were gas she wouldnt have enough to power a fleamobile around the inside of a Froot Loop
  40. Yo momma's so dumb if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you'd get change
  41. Yo momma's so dumb if you gave her a penny for her thoughts you'd get change
  42. Yo momma's so dumb instead of taking 4 bus she took the 2 bus twice
  43. Yo momma's so dumb it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg
  44. Yo momma's so dumb it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch
  45. Yo momma's so dumb it take her a week to get rid of a 24 hour virus
  46. Yo momma's so dumb it takes 2 of her to listen to music
  47. Yo momma's so dumb it takes 2 of her to watch tv
  48. Yo momma's so dumb it takes 4 of her to screw in a light bulb
  49. Yo momma's so dumb it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes
  50. Yo momma's so dumb it takes her 4 hours to watch a 1 hour movie
  51. Yo momma's so dumb it takes her an hour to cook minute rice
  52. Yo momma's so dumb it took her 2 days to make Microwaveable Pot Noodles
  53. Yo momma's so dumb on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911
  54. Yo momma's so dumb people were askin her for crack and she bent over and said here
  55. Yo momma's so dumb she actually thinks these jokes are funny
  56. Yo momma's so dumb she asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle complaining it was broken
  57. Yo momma's so dumb she asked for help to use Hamburger Helper
  58. Yo momma's so dumb she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said Guess so she said Levis
  59. Yo momma's so dumb she asked me what yield meant I said Slow down and she said What does yield mean?
  60. Yo momma's so dumb she asked me whats that letter after X and I said Y she said Cause I want to know
  61. Yo momma's so dumb she asked me Whats the number for 911?
  62. Yo momma's so dumb she asked what time is the 12:00 lunch
  63. Yo momma's so dumb she bought a solarpowered flashlight
  64. Yo momma's so dumb she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home
  65. Yo momma's so dumb she brought a cup to the movie Juice
  66. Yo momma's so dumb she brought a doughnut back to tha shop cause it had a hole in it
  67. Yo momma's so dumb she called Dan Quayle for a spell check
  68. Yo momma's so dumb she called the 7-11 store to see when they closed
  69. Yo momma's so dumb she called the cocaine hotline to order some
  70. Yo momma's so dumb she can't even spell acronyms correctly
  71. Yo momma's so dumb she can't find her own house
  72. Yo momma's so dumb she can't make Jello because she can't fit 2 quarts of water in the box
  73. Yo momma's so dumb she can't pass a drunk test when she is not even drunk
  74. Yo momma's so dumb she can't tie her own shoe
  75. Yo momma's so dumb she chases parked cars
  76. Yo momma's so dumb she climbed a chain link fence to see what was on the other side
  77. Yo momma's so dumb she cooked her own complimentary breakfast
  78. Yo momma's so dumb she cooks Indian curry with Old Spice
  79. Yo momma's so dumb she could not get into the first grade
  80. Yo momma's so dumb she couldn't read an audio book
  81. Yo momma's so dumb she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses
  82. Yo momma's so dumb she died before the police arrived because she couldn't find the 11 button in 911
  83. Yo momma's so dumb she died boiling water in the toaster
  84. Yo momma's so dumb she does not know what she is talking about
  85. Yo momma's so dumb she forgets to pick you up at school
  86. Yo momma's so dumb she forgets what she is thinking before she even think of it
  87. Yo momma's so dumb she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W&Ws
  88. Yo momma's so dumb she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged
  89. Yo momma's so dumb she got locked in a bathroom and wet her pants
  90. Yo momma's so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved
  91. Yo momma's so dumb she got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor
  92. Yo momma's so dumb she got locked out of a convertible car with the top down
  93. Yo momma's so dumb she got on an elevator and thought it was a mobile home
  94. Yo momma's so dumb she got on her knees to drink her Nehi peach drink
  95. Yo momma's so dumb she got shot running the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial
  96. Yo momma's so dumb she got stabbed in a shoot out
  97. Yo momma's so dumb she had surgery on her butt and the doctor removed her brain
  98. Yo momma's so dumb she has 1 toe and bought a pair of flip flops
  99. Yo momma's so dumb she has to ask for help to use hamburger helper
  100. Yo momma's so dumb she has to use her fingers for 1 + 1
  101. Yo momma's so dumb she invented a wheelchair with pedals
  102. Yo momma's so dumb she jumped off a building in attempt to fly because she thought her maxi pad had wings
  103. Yo momma's so dumb she leaves tell tales signs she's been using my computer: white out is on the screen
  104. Yo momma's so dumb she leaves the house for the Home Shopping Network
  105. Yo momma's so dumb she make Homer Simpson look like a Nobel Prize winner
  106. Yo momma's so dumb she makes a chimp look smart
  107. Yo momma's so dumb she makes s look smart
  108. Yo momma's so dumb she makes Bush look smart
  109. Yo momma's so dumb she makes me feel dumber just talking to her
  110. Yo momma's so dumb she makes the rest of the world seem smarter
  111. Yo momma's so dumb she makes toast in the freezer
  112. Yo momma's so dumb she married Yo daddy
  113. Yo momma's so dumb she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble
  114. Yo momma's so dumb she needs twice as much sense to be a halfwit
  115. Yo momma's so dumb she noticed a sign reading Wet Floor so she just did
  116. Yo momma's so dumb she once attempted to commit suicide by jumping off a curb
  117. Yo momma's so dumb she ordered a cheese burger from McDonalds and said Hold the cheese
  118. Yo momma's so dumb she passed by YMCA and said hey look they spelled MACYs wrong
  119. Yo momma's so dumb she peals M&Ms to make chocolate chip cookies
  120. Yo momma's so dumb she put a peep hole in a glass door
  121. Yo momma's so dumb she put a phone up her *** and thought she was making a booty call
  122. Yo momma's so dumb she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out
  123. Yo momma's so dumb she put a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept
  124. Yo momma's so dumb she put her watch in the bank to save time
  125. Yo momma's so dumb she put light bulbs on a christmas tree
  126. Yo momma's so dumb she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind
  127. Yo momma's so dumb she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house
  128. Yo momma's so dumb she put security cameras in a glass house to see in other rooms
  129. Yo momma's so dumb she ran out of gas leaving Texaco
  130. Yo momma's so dumb she ran outside with a purse because she heard there was change in the weather
  131. Yo momma's so dumb she reckoned a Quarterback was a refund
  132. Yo momma's so dumb she runs around the bed all night trying to catch some sleep
  133. Yo momma's so dumb she sat in a tree house because she wanted to be a branch manager
  134. Yo momma's so dumb she sat on a window ledge thinking she'd get framed
  135. Yo momma's so dumb she saw a billboard that said Dodge Trucks and she started ducking through traffic
  136. Yo momma's so dumb she saw her reflection on the TV and thought she was on Jeopardy
  137. Yo momma's so dumb she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
  138. Yo momma's so dumb she sold her Car f oney
  139. Yo momma's so dumb she sold her camera to buy film
  140. Yo momma's so dumb she sold the house to pay the mortgage
  141. Yo momma's so dumb she spent 30 minutes lookin at an orange juice box because it said concentrate
  142. Yo momma's so dumb she stands up on an empty bus
  143. Yo momma's so dumb she stepped on a crack and broke her own back
  144. Yo momma's so dumb she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go
  145. Yo momma's so dumb she studied for a blood test and failed
  146. Yo momma's so dumb she studied for a drug test
  147. Yo momma's so dumb she studied for a open book test and failed
  148. Yo momma's so dumb she thinks 1 + 1 is 3
  149. Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album
  150. Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds
  151. Yo momma's so dumb she thinks her twin lives in her mirror
  152. Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet
  153. Yo momma's so dumb she thinks socialism means partying
  154. Yo momma's so dumb she thinks stereotype is the brand on her clockradio
  155. Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company
  156. Yo momma's so dumb she thinks the cat in the hat is, a cat in a hat
  157. Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India
  158. Yo momma's so dumb she thinks we are all in the Matrix
  159. Yo momma's so dumb she thinks WuTang is an orange flavored drink
  160. Yo momma's so dumb she though Titanic was a new flavor of tic tac
  161. Yo momma's so dumb she thought 2 Pac Shakur was a Jewish holiday
  162. Yo momma's so dumb she thought 50 cent was a cheap payperview
  163. Yo momma's so dumb she thought a hot meal is stolen food
  164. Yo momma's so dumb she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court
  165. Yo momma's so dumb she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund
  166. Yo momma's so dumb she thought asphalt was a skin disease
  167. Yo momma's so dumb she thought Boyz2Men was a daycare center
  168. Yo momma's so dumb she thought brownie points were coupons for a bake sale
  169. Yo momma's so dumb she thought Chingy was what you say when you don't got no more money
  170. Yo momma's so dumb she thought Chubby Checkers was a game for fat people
  171. Yo momma's so dumb she thought Condelesa Rice was a Mexican Side Dish
  172. Yo momma's so dumb she thought Delta Airlines was a sorority
  173. Yo momma's so dumb she thought gangrene was another golf course
  174. Yo momma's so dumb she thought hamburger helper came with another person
  175. Yo momma's so dumb she thought Hot Meals were stolen food
  176. Yo momma's so dumb she thought if she woke up fast enough she could see her self sleeping
  177. Yo momma's so dumb she thought innuendo was an Italian suppository
  178. Yo momma's so dumb she thought Keith Sweat was a Body Odor
  179. Yo momma's so dumb she thought menopause was a button on the stereo
  180. Yo momma's so dumb she thought meow mix was music for cats
  181. Yo momma's so dumb she thought Morning Dew was a New York radio station
  182. Yo momma's so dumb she thought OJ Simpson some kind of fruit juice
  183. Yo momma's so dumb she thought she could get food stamps at the post office
  184. Yo momma's so dumb she thought she needed a token to get on soul train
  185. Yo momma's so dumb she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project
  186. Yo momma's so dumb she thought St Ides was a Catholic church
  187. Yo momma's so dumb she thought St Ides was an island in the Caribbean
  188. Yo momma's so dumb she thought Taco Bell was a phone company in Mexico
  189. Yo momma's so dumb she thought Thailand was a mens clothing store
  190. Yo momma's so dumb she thought the board of education was a piece of wood
  191. Yo momma's so dumb she thought the internet was something you catch fish with
  192. Yo momma's so dumb she thought the TV guide was directions to get to the television
  193. Yo momma's so dumb she thought WIC meant welfare is cool
  194. Yo momma's so dumb she thought Wu Tang was an African orange drink
  195. Yo momma's so dumb she threw a rock the ground and missed
  196. Yo momma's so dumb she told everyone that she was illegitimate because she couldn't read
  197. Yo momma's so dumb she told me to meet her at the corner of Walk and don't Walk
  198. Yo momma's so dumb she took a coloring book with her to see The Color Purple
  199. Yo momma's so dumb she took a cup to see Juice
  200. Yo momma's so dumb she took a donut to the repair shop and said it had a hole in it
  201. Yo momma's so dumb she took a job cutting grass on an Oil Rig
  202. Yo momma's so dumb she took a knife to a driveby shooting
  203. Yo momma's so dumb she took an umbrella to see Purple Rain
  204. Yo momma's so dumb she took lessons for a player piano
  205. Yo momma's so dumb she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jiff
  206. Yo momma's so dumb she took you to the drive-in movie theater to see Closed for the season
  207. Yo momma's so dumb she tried to commit suicide by jumping from the basement window
  208. Yo momma's so dumb she tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building but she got lost on the way down
  209. Yo momma's so dumb she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot
  210. Yo momma's so dumb she tried to drown a fish
  211. Yo momma's so dumb she tried to drown herself in a carpool
  212. Yo momma's so dumb she tried to hang herself with a cordless phone
  213. Yo momma's so dumb she tried to kill a bird by throwing it off of a cliff
  214. Yo momma's so dumb she tried to mail a letter with food stamps
  215. Yo momma's so dumb she tried to melt squeeze Parkay
  216. Yo momma's so dumb she tried to put m&ms in alphabetical order
  217. Yo momma's so dumb she used white out on a computer screen
  218. Yo momma's so dumb she uses Old Spice for cooking
  219. Yo momma's so dumb she wants to be a
  220. Yo momma's so dumb she was born on Halloween and can't remember her birthday
  221. Yo momma's so dumb she was looking at a paper and I asked her what you doing? and she said watching paper view
  222. Yo momma's so dumb she was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin Free Lays
  223. Yo momma's so dumb she was on the corner with a sign that said Will eat for food
  224. Yo momma's so dumb she washes her hands in the toilet and craps in the sink
  225. Yo momma's so dumb she watches The Three Stooges and takes notes
  226. Yo momma's so dumb she wears a tshirt that says hukd on fonicks woorkd fo mi
  227. Yo momma's so dumb she went on Double Dare and when they asked her name she said I think Ill take the physical challenge
  228. Yo momma's so dumb she went to a Whalers game to see Kiko
  229. Yo momma's so dumb she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu
  230. Yo momma's so dumb she went to Alpha Beta and asked to buy a vowel
  231. Yo momma's so dumb she went to Burger King and thought she was a queen
  232. Yo momma's so dumb she went to Disney World and saw a sign that said Disney World Left so she went home
  233. Yo momma's so dumb she went to Dodger stadium and drowned in the waves
  234. Yo momma's so dumb she went to Dr Dre for a pap smear
  235. Yo momma's so dumb she went to Gap to fix her teeth
  236. Yo momma's so dumb she went to the McDonalds drive thru and drove through the window
  237. Yo momma's so dumb she went to Target with a handfull of darts and said lets play
  238. Yo momma's so dumb she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had
  239. Yo momma's so dumb she went to Walgreens to see if the walls were really green
  240. Yo momma's so dumb she wouldnt know up from down if she had three guesses
  241. Yo momma's so dumb she'd have to be twice as smart to become a halfwit
  242. Yo momma's so dumb she went to Shop Rite and shopped wrong
  243. Yo momma's so dumb that she got stabbed in a shoot out
  244. Yo momma's so dumb that she uses whiteout as her toothpaste
  245. Yo momma's so dumb that she went to a family reunion to look for a date
  246. Yo momma's so dumb that she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu
  247. Yo momma's so dumb that under Education on her job apllication she put Hooked on Phonics
  248. Yo momma's so dumb that when she surfed the internet she put a wetsuit on
  249. Yo momma's so dumb that when the judge in the courtroom said Order she said Fries and a coke please
  250. Yo momma's so dumb that when you stand beside her you can actually hear the ocean
  251. Yo momma's so dumb she snuck on the bus and paid to get off
  252. Yo momma's so dumb the worst six years of her life were grade three
  253. Yo momma's so dumb she likes to mop the carpet
  254. Yo momma's so dumb she lost her shadow
  255. Yo momma's so dumb she gave birth to you
  256. Yo momma's so dumb she gets lost in thought
  257. Yo momma's so dumb she tried to steal a free sample
  258. Yo momma's so dumb she tried to wake up a sleeping bag
  259. Yo momma's so dumb she ordered her sushi well done
  260. Yo momma's so dumb was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday
  261. Yo momma's so dumb when asked on an application ? she marked M F and sometimes Wednesday too
  262. Yo momma's so dumb when asked what a pronoun was she said a noun that gets paid
  263. Yo momma's so dumb when her daughter had a hart atack she dialed 911 on the microwave
  264. Yo momma's so dumb when her husband lost his marbles she bought him new ones
  265. Yo momma's so dumb when I asked her if she wanted to play one on one she said Ok but whats the teams?
  266. Yo momma's so dumb when I said we were playing craps she went and got toilet paper
  267. Yo momma's so dumb when I told her to squeal like a pig she said Moo
  268. Yo momma's so dumb when I told her to take the trash out, she moved
  269. Yo momma's so dumb when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver she said cherry or grape?
  270. Yo momma's so dumb when she asked me what kinda jeans I wore I said Guess and she said Ah Levis?
  271. Yo momma's so dumb when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home she moved
  272. Yo momma's so dumb when she locked her keys in the car it took her all day to get yo family out
  273. Yo momma's so dumb when she pulls up to a flashing red light it sounds like Vroom Screech Vroom Screech
  274. Yo momma's so dumb when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put OK
  275. Yo momma's so dumb when she saw a kid dress as a devil in halloween she thought she was in hell
  276. Yo momma's so dumb when she saw a Wrong Way sign in her rearview mirror she turned around
  277. Yo momma's so dumb when she saw under 17 not admitted sign she went home and got 16 friends
  278. Yo momma's so dumb when she threw a grenade at me I pulled the pin and threw it back
  279. Yo momma's so dumb when she took you to the airport and a sign said Airport Left she turned around and went home
  280. Yo momma's so dumb when she worked at McDonalds and someone ordered small fries she said Hey Boss all the small ones are gone
  281. Yo momma's so dumb when the computer said Press any key to continue she couldn't find the Any key
  282. Yo momma's so dumb when you she got pregnant she asked the doctor are you sure its mine?
  283. Yo momma's so dumb when you were born she looked at your umbilical cord and said Wow it comes with cable too
  284. Yo momma's so dumb you can make her eyes twinkle by shining light in her ears
  285. Yo momma's so old her birth certificate is expired
  286. Yo momma's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals
  287. Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter
  288. Yo momma's so old her memory is in black and white
  289. Yo momma's so old her social security card is in roman numerals
  290. Yo momma's so old her social security number is 1
  291. Yo momma's so old her squirt out powderd milk
  292. Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything
  293. Yo momma's so old I looked in her year book and saw jesus
  294. Yo momma's so old i told her to act her age and she died
  295. Yo momma's so old if she were a car it would be time to roll back her odometer
  296. Yo momma's so old it looks like the Wrinkle Fairy tap danced on her face
  297. Yo momma's so old I've seen stale rasins with less wrinkles
  298. Yo momma's so old Jurassic Park brought back memories
  299. Yo momma's so old one of her pets was on on Noahs Ark
  300. Yo momma's so old she babysat for Jesus
  301. Yo momma's so old she called the cops when David and Goliath started to fight
  302. Yo momma's so old she co-wrote one of the Ten Commandments
  303. Yo momma's So old she dated moses
  304. Yo momma's so old she got hieroglyphics on her Driver license
  305. Yo momma's so old she got the first copy of the Ten Commandments
  306. Yo momma's so old she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook
  307. Yo momma's so old she has all the apostles in her black book
  308. Yo momma's so old she has an autographed bible
  309. Yo momma's so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince
  310. Yo momma's so old she knew Captain Crunch while he was still a private
  311. Yo momma's so old she knew Mr Clean when he had an afro
  312. Yo momma's so old she left her purse on noahs ark
  313. Yo momma's so old she needed a walker when Jesus was still in diapers
  314. Yo momma's so old she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp
  315. Yo momma's so old she owes Moses a quarter
  316. Yo momma's so old she recalls when the Grand Canyon was a ditch
  317. Yo momma's so old she remembers what life was like before the ice age
  318. Yo momma's so old she took her drivers test on a dinosaur
  319. Yo momma's so old she uses her hot flashes to heat her cup of Tea
  320. Yo momma's so old she walked into an antique store and they kept her
  321. Yo momma's so old she went to an antiques auction and three people bid on her
  322. Yo momma's so old she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible
  323. Yo momma's so old that in the back seat of your car kids don't say Are we there yet they scream Is she Dead yet
  324. Yo momma's so old that she had Jesus tattoo the ten commandments on her back
  325. Yo momma's so old she was a waitress at the last supper
  326. Yo momma's So old she went blind from the big bang
  327. Yo momma's so old she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party
  328. Yo momma's so old she drove a chariot to high school
  329. Yo momma's so old that when God said let the be light she hit the switch
  330. Yo momma's so old that when she was in school there was no history class
  331. Yo momma's so old the candles cost more than the birthday cake
  332. Yo momma's so old the fire department are on standby when you light her birthday cake
  333. Yo momma's so old they ask to check her bags and she's not carrying any luggage
  334. Yo momma's so old vultures constantly circle her house
  335. Yo momma's so old when Moses parted the Red Sea he found her fishing on the other side
  336. Yo momma's so old when she gave birth, you came out with Dentures
  337. Yo momma's so old when she ran the 100 meter dash they timed her with a sundial
  338. Yo momma's so old when she reads the bible she reminisces
  339. Yo momma's so old when she was a kid there was no old spice it was called baby spice
  340. Yo momma's so old when she was born the Dead Sea was just getting sick
  341. Yo momma's so old when she was young rainbows were black and white
  342. Yo momma's so old you put her in a museum instead of an old folks home
  343. Yo momma's so po she can't even afford the last two letters
  344. Yo momma's so poor a hobo threw a cigarette on the floor and she said Thank God we have heat
  345. Yo momma's so poor burglars break in and leave money
  346. Yo momma's so poor each night she goes to KFC to lick other folks fingers
  347. Yo momma's so poor even the republicans were willing to give her welfare
  348. Yo momma's so poor her baloney ain't got no first name
  349. Yo momma's so poor her doormat doesnt say Welcome it says Welfare
  350. Yo momma's so poor her front and back doors are on the same hinge
  351. Yo momma's so poor I asked her what's for dinner and she pulled out a gun and said Next one who moves
  352. Yo momma's so poor I asked her where the facilities were and she replied Pick a corner, any corner
  353. Yo momma's so poor I caught her trying to use food stamps in a gumball machine
  354. Yo momma's so poor I lit a match in her house and the roaches started singing Clap your hands stomp your feet praise the Lord cause we got heat
  355. Yo momma's so poor I once threw a stone at a garbage can and out she popped saying Who knocked?
  356. Yo momma's so poor I saw her hanging the toilet paper out to dry
  357. Yo momma's so poor I saw her in the dumpster. I said what are you doing, she said grocery shopping
  358. Yo momma's so poor I saw her shaking a can around and asked her what she was doing and she said Redecorating
  359. Yo momma's so poor I saw her wrestling a squirrel for a peanut
  360. Yo momma's so poor I stepped on her skateboard and she said Hey get off the car
  361. Yo momma's so poor I stepped through her front door and fell out the back
  362. Yo momma's so poor I visited her house, tore down the cob webs, and she screamed Whos taking down the drapes?
  363. Yo momma's so poor I walked into her home asked if I could use her toilet and she said Sure thing its 4th tree on your right
  364. Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house and stepped on a cigarette butt and she said Hey who turned off the heater?
  365. Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house and swatted a firefly and said Who turned off the lights?
  366. Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house asked to use the bathroom and she gave me two sticks I asked her what the sticks were for and she said Ones to hold up the ceiling the other is to fight off the roaches
  367. Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house asked to use the bathroom and she said Two buckets to your left
  368. Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house asked what was for dinner so she lit my pockets on fire and said Hot Pockets
  369. Yo momma's so poor I walked into her house two roaches tripped me and a rat stole my wallet
  370. Yo momma's so poor I went into her house and flushed a roach down the toilet and she said Hey whered Grandma go?
  371. Yo momma's so poor I went into her house and saw a bunch of roaches sittin around the toilet singin We are family
  372. Yo momma's so poor I went through her front door and ended up in the back yard
  373. Yo momma's so poor only time she smelled Hot Food was when a rich bloke farted
  374. Yo momma's so poor people rob her house for practice
  375. Yo momma's so poor she bought a tv with only two channels ON and OFF
  376. Yo momma's so poor she bounces food stamps
  377. Yo momma's so poor she can't afford to pay attention
  378. Yo momma's so poor she can't even put her two cents in this conversation
  379. Yo momma's so poor she does drive by shootings on the bus
  380. Yo momma's so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk
  381. Yo momma's so poor she had to get a second mortgage on her cardboard box
  382. Yo momma's so poor she has to take the trash IN
  383. Yo momma's so poor she has to wear her McDonalds uniform to church
  384. Yo momma's so poor she married young just to get the rice
  385. Yo momma's so poor she put a Slurpee on layaway with food stamps
  386. Yo momma's so poor she put free samples on layaway
  387. Yo momma's so poor she tried to use food stamps in soda machines
  388. Yo momma's so poor she was in KMart with a box of Hefty bags I said What are you doing? She said Buying luggage
  389. Yo momma's so poor she watches television on an EtchASketch
  390. Yo momma's so poor she waves an ice cube around and calls it Air conditioning
  391. Yo momma's so poor she's got more furniture on her porch than in her house
  392. Yo momma's so poor that she uses tumbleweed as a Xmas tree
  393. Yo momma's so poor that when I stepped on a monopoly dollar she said get of my life savings
  394. Yo momma's so poor that when I walked into her house with a piece of bread and droped a crumb on the floor she said now clap your hands and stomp your feet praise the lord we got something to eat
  395. Yo momma's so poor the bank repossesed her cardboard box
  396. Yo momma's so poor the closest thing to a car she has is a lowrider shopping cart with a box on it
  397. Yo momma's so poor TV dinner trays are her good china
  398. Yo momma's so poor when I asked what was for dinner she pulled her shoelaces off and said Spagetti
  399. Yo momma's so poor when I rang the doorbell she leaned out the window and said DING DONG
  400. Yo momma's so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush
  401. Yo momma's so poor when I sat on the couch a roach said Get the hell off I pay rent
  402. Yo momma's so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street I asked her what she was doing she said ain't you ever seen a mobile home?
  403. Yo momma's so poor when I saw her rolling some trash cans around in an alley I asked her what she was doing she said Remodeling
  404. Yo momma's so poor when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said Hey miss lost a shoe? she said Nope just found one
  405. Yo momma's so poor when I stepped on her doormat she said Hey you can't go upstairs
  406. Yo momma's so poor when I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out
  407. Yo momma's so poor when I was taking family portraits for you and said Cheese she went looking for the line
  408. Yo momma's so poor when I went over to her house for dinner and grabbed a paper plate she said don't use the good china
  409. Yo momma's so poor when I went to use her bathroom I saw a roach sitting on a Pepsi who said "Wait your turn"
  410. Yo momma's so poor when she asked me over to dinner I took a paper plate from the kitchen and she growled don't use the good china
  411. Yo momma's so poor when yo family watches TV they go to Sears
  412. Yo momma's got 1 leg longer than other and they call her call her hip hop
  413. Yo momma's got 1 toe and 1 knee and they call her Tony
  414. Yo momma's got 3 toes and 3 knees and they call her Toni Tone Tony
  415. Yo momma's got 3 tongues and talks like this like this like this
  416. Yo momma's got a 4 dollar weave and don't know when to leave
  417. Yo momma's got a afro wit a chin strap
  418. Yo momma's got a bald head with a part and sideburns
  419. Yo momma's got a glass eye talkin bout she can see clearly now
  420. Yo momma's got a glass eye with a fish in it
  421. Yo momma's got a glass eye with a shade
  422. Yo momma's got a glass leg and uses Windex for lotion
  423. Yo momma's got a glass leg with KoolAid in it
  424. Yo momma's got a glass tooth with your fourth grade picture in it
  425. Yo momma's got a house that's so dusty the roaches drive around in Dune Buggies
  426. Yo momma's got a leather wig with suede sideburns
  427. Yo momma's got a long sleeved bra
  428. Yo momma's got a metal afro with rusty sideburns
  429. Yo momma's got a pair of high top flip flops
  430. Yo momma's got a peanut butter wig with jelly sideburns
  431. Yo momma's got a pegleg with a kickstand
  432. Yo momma's got a wait problem she can't wait to eat
  433. Yo momma's got a wheelchair with 5Star rims and a clutch
  434. Yo momma's got a wooden leg with a kickstand on it
  435. Yo momma's got a wooden leg with a real foot
  436. Yo momma's got a wooden leg with advertisements stapled to it
  437. Yo momma's got a wooden leg with an owls nest in it
  438. Yo momma's got a wooden leg with branches
  439. Yo momma's got a wooden leg with termites
  440. Yo momma's got a wooden and they call her Corky
  441. Yo momma's got an afro with a turn signal
  442. Yo momma's got an eagles nest wig
  443. Yo momma's got an eating disorder she be eating dis order dat order she be eating all the damn orders
  444. Yo momma's got an electric wig with a sunroof and opera lights
  445. Yo momma's got everything a man could want
  446. Yo momma's got fake hair fake eyes and fake nails talkin bout she wants a real man
  447. Yo momma's got hair on her tongue and she gargles with curl activator
  448. Yo momma's got hit upside the head with an ugly stick
  449. Yo momma's got ingrown s
  450. Yo momma's got more chins than a Chinese phone book
  451. Yo momma's got more crack than Harlem
  452. Yo momma's got more crust than bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken
  453. Yo momma's got more weave than a dog in traffic
  454. Yo momma's got no arms or legs and when she goes swimmin they call her Bob
  455. Yo momma's got no ears and was trying on sunglasses
  456. Yo momma's got no fingers talking bout how she wanted to be with the Pointer Sisters
  457. Yo momma's got no fingers talking bout how she's gonna press charges
  458. Yo momma's got no fingers talking bout wanted to be with the Pointer sisters
  459. Yo momma's got no legs and always talking about how she used to kick it
  460. Yo momma's got no legs and tried out for track
  461. Yo momma's got no neck talkin bout how she's all choked up
  462. Yo momma's got one ear talking bout she wants to hear both sides of the story
  463. Yo momma's got one eye and one leg and they call her IHOP
  464. Yo momma's got one eye on the right and she's talkin bout Make this left
  465. Yo momma's got one eye one leg one arm and one knee and they call her UNO
  466. Yo momma's got one leg and people call her Ilene
  467. Yo momma's got one leg talkin bout ain't no half steppin
  468. Yo momma's got PlayDoh teeth
  469. Yo momma's got shark teeth
  470. Yo momma's got snakeskin teeth
  471. Yo momma's got so many freckles she looks like a hamburger
  472. Yo momma's got so many gaps in her teeth it looks like piano keys
  473. Yo momma's got so many rings around belly she's gotta screw her underwear on
  474. Yo momma's got so many teeth missing it looks like her tounge is in jail
  475. Yo momma's got so much dandruff she needs to defrost it before she combs her hair
  476. Yo momma's got so much hair on her chest that her remind me of Coconuts
  477. Yo momma's got so much hair on her upper lip she has to braid it
  478. Yo momma's got so much hair under her arms it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock
  479. Yo momma's got so much weave AT&T uses her extensions as backup lines
  480. Yo momma's got so much weave when a fly goes by her hair swats at it
  481. Yo momma's got three fingers and a banjo
  482. Yo momma's got three fingers and runs around stealing bowling balls
  483. Yo momma's got three fingers talkin bout Gimme five
  484. Yo momma's got three teeth one in her mouth and two in her pocket
  485. Yo momma's got two fingers and she's a representative for world piece
  486. Yo momma's got two wooden legs and one is on backward
  487. Yo momma aint so bad she would give you the hair off of her back
  488. Yo momma's armpits are so hairy looks like she got Buckwheat in a headlock
  489. Yo momma's arms are so short she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear
  490. Yo momma's *** is so fat she got arrested at the airport for having 20 lbs of crack
  491. Yo momma's *** so hairy it look like bob kings boitu to pop out and say open america
  492. Yo momma's *** is so huge she take up 5 rows in the cinema
  493. Yo momma's been on welfare so long they put her face on the food stamps
  494. Yo momma's blind and is seeing another man
  495. Yo momma's booty is so big if You tell her to haul *** she gotta make 2 trips
  496. Yo momma's breath must be taking karate because its really kickin
  497. Yo momma's breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck
  498. Yo momma's breath so bad she has to take prescription Tic Tac
  499. Yo momma's breath so bad she made a tic tac run away
  500. Yo momma's breath so stank needs odor eaters
  501. Yo momma's breath so stank we don't know whether you need gum or toilet paper
  502. Yo momma's breath so stank when she exhales her teeth have to duck
  503. Yo momma's breath so stinky she needs odor eaters
  504. Yo momma's breath so stinky when she exhales her teeth have to duck
  505. Yo momma's breath stinks so bad that people look forward to her farts
  506. Yo momma's butt is so big it looks like 2 pigs fighting over milk duds
  507. Yo momma's butt is so bony she put her drawers on and cut them in two
  508. Yo momma's butt is so fat if you put numbers on it she could stamp license plates
  509. Yo momma's car's so ugly someone broke in just to steal The CLUB
  510. Yo momma's code so bloated she makes assembly look like C
  511. Yo momma's crosseyed and watches TV in stereo
  512. Yo momma's dial up internet is faster then her
  513. Yo momma's Did you know flies were given wings so that they could beat to the dump?
  514. Yo momma's Do you know the story about the little old woman that lives in a shoe? Well Yo momma's so poor she live in a flip flop
  515. Yo momma's drawers are so dirty the roaches check in but they don't check out
  516. Yo momma's ears got so much wax she got a job as a candle
  517. Yo momma's feet are so ashy it looks like she kicks flour for a living
  518. Yo momma's feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates
  519. Yo momma's feet are so big she could get a job helping Smokey the Bear stomp out forest fires
  520. Yo momma's feet are so stanky she should be charged with sock abuse
  521. Yo momma's feet so fat her sneakers need license plates
  522. Yo momma's feet so skanky that when your family wants jam pieces she gets yo brother to run a loaf of bread between her toes
  523. Yo momma's so fat she bit into a school bus and said where's the cream filling
  524. Yo momma's forehead is so big you could show slides on it
  525. Yo momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future
  526. Yo momma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving
  527. Yo momma's so grouchy the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals
  528. Yo momma's gums so black she spits Chocolate Milk
  529. Yo momma's gums so black that she spits Yoo hoo
  530. Yo momma's hair so greasy you could fry a chiken in it
  531. Yo momma's hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it
  532. Yo momma's hair so short she curls it with rice
  533. Yo momma's hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches
  534. Yo momma's has 10 fingers, all on the same hand
  535. Yo momma's has 3 eyes and they call her Eyeeyeeye
  536. Yo momma's has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses
  537. Yo momma's has a fro with landing lights
  538. Yo momma's has a glass eye with a fish in it
  539. Yo momma's has a major weight problem she can't wait to eat
  540. Yo momma's has a moustache and they call her Bob
  541. Yo momma's has a peanut butter wig with jelly sideburns
  542. Yo momma's has a short arm and can't applaude
  543. Yo momma's has a short leg and walks in circles
  544. Yo momma's has a wooden afro with an X carved in the back
  545. Yo momma's has a wooden leg with a kickstand on it
  546. Yo momma's has green hair and thinks she's a tree
  547. Yo momma's has no arms and bought a vest
  548. Yo momma's has one arm and swims in circles
  549. Yo momma's has one arm and when she fights the announcer says She throws a right a right and another right
  550. Yo momma's has one hand and a Clapper
  551. Yo momma's has one leg and a bicycle
  552. Yo momma's has one leg and swims in circles
  553. Yo momma's has one tooth and they call her Chopper One
  554. Yo momma's has one tooth and they call her DrillBit
  555. Yo momma's has one tooth in the front and one tooth in the back talkin bout let me get a bite
  556. Yo momma's has so many vericose veins her body could double as a road map
  557. Yo momma's has so much hair on her upper lip she braids it
  558. Yo momma's has so much wax in her ears I stuck a QTip in and pulled out a Sugar Daddy
  559. Yo momma's head so big it shows up on radar
  560. Yo momma's head so big she don't have dreams she have movies
  561. Yo momma's head so big she has to step into her shirts
  562. Yo momma's head so fat she has to wash her hair at Niagara falls
  563. Yo momma's head so little could wear fruit loops as head rags
  564. Yo momma's head so nappy when she combs her hair her teeth bleed
  565. Yo momma's head so small she use a teabag as a pillow
  566. Yo momma's head so small that she got her ear pierced and died
  567. Yo momma's hips are so big people set their drinks on them
  568. Yo momma's house so damned cold the roaches ice skate around the kitchen
  569. Yo momma's house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies
  570. Yo momma's house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside
  571. Yo momma's house so small her washcloth makes wall to wall carpeting
  572. Yo momma's house so small she can't even order a large pizza
  573. Yo momma's house so small that I put my Key in the doorlock and broke the freakin back window
  574. Yo momma's house so small the doormat just says WEL
  575. Yo momma's house so small you have to go outside to change your mind
  576. I don't mean to be mean but yo momma needs listerine not a sip not a swallow but the whole damn bottle
  577. I get up faster then yo momma's falls
  578. I got notin bad to say about yo momma, heck her face says it all
  579. I got on the train last night they had a new sign up reading Maximum Occupancy: 200 Patrons OR Yo momma
  580. I heard that yo momma is on the warpath, she lost a finger and now can't count past 9
  581. I heard yo house was made out of toilet paper why? cuz your whole family is full of crap
  582. I saw yo momma kicking a can down the street I asked her what she was doing and she said moving
  583. I was speaking to your parents they told me you was such an ugly baby they had to feed you with a slingshot
  584. I was walking down the street with yo momma and they started shooting they said hit the dirt and everyone jumped on back
  585. If my dog had a face as ugly as yo momma's I'd shave his *** and make him walk backwards
  586. Yo momma's in a wheelchair and says You ain't gonna push me round no more
  587. Yo momma's is not really so bad I hear she would give you the hair off her back
  588. Yo momma's is twice the man you are
  589. Yo momma's is ugly she is ugly as sin
  590. Yo momma's legs are so hairy if she had fur coat and a banana they'd stick her in a zoo.
  591. Yo momma's legs are so short she can swing them from a curve
  592. Yo momma's like 7up never had it never will
  593. Yo momma's like a bowling ball she always winds up in the gutter
  594. Yo momma's like spoiled milk fat and chunky
  595. Yo momma's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair
  596. Yo momma's lips so big Chap Stick had to invent a spray
  597. Yo momma's may be old but she still parties like its 1899
  598. Yo momma's mouth so big it takes her an hour to put on her lipstick
  599. Yo momma's mouth so big she speaks in surround sound
  600. Yo momma's neck so damn wrinkled I use it as a cheese grater
  601. Yo momma's nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat
  602. Yo momma's nose so big the last time I saw one like it it was attached to an elephant
  603. Yo momma's nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers
  604. Yo momma's only got one finger and runs around stealing key rings
  605. Yo momma's sets off car alarms when she runs
  606. Yo momma's smells so bad she went to Taco Bell and everyone ran for the border
  607. Yo momma's smells so bad when she went to make friends with a skunk the skunk got hit by a truck on purpose
  608. Yo momma's so backwards she sits on the TV and watches the couch
  609. Yo momma's so bad I think its a new world record
  610. Yo momma's so bad when she got called for jury duty she was found guilty
  611. Yo momma's so bald even a wig wouldnt help
  612. Yo momma's so bald Mr Clean got jealous
  613. Yo momma's so bald she curls her hair with rice
  614. Yo momma's so bald that she took a shower and got brainwashed
  615. Yo momma's so bald that when she put on a sweater folk thought she was a roll on deoderant
  616. Yo momma's so bald you can see whats on her mind
  617. Yo momma's so boring she makes debugging Prolog seem fun
  618. Yo momma's so cheap instead of buying a fire alarm she hangs Jiffy Pop from the ceiling
  619. Yo momma's so crazy she makes pi look rational
  620. Yo momma's so damn strange that she invented a waterproof teabag
  621. Yo momma's so damn ugly she makes Anne Ramsey look like J Lo
  622. Yo momma's so dirty a family of mice inhabit her belly button
  623. Yo momma's so dirty her Sure deodorant is now Confused
  624. Yo momma's so dirty she actually repels mosquitoes
  625. Yo momma's so dirty she gives me ring around the collar
  626. Yo momma's so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater
  627. Yo momma's so dirty she leaves a ring around the public swimming pool
  628. Yo momma's so dirty she lost 2 pounds after taking a shower
  629. Yo momma's so dirty she made right guard turn left
  630. Yo momma's so dirty she makes mud look clean
  631. Yo momma's so dirty she slowed down speed stick
  632. Yo momma's so dirty skunks give her house a wide berth
  633. Yo momma's so dirty that even the Swamp Thing insisted she showered
  634. Yo momma's so dirty that Saddam Hussain tried to import her bath water to use as chemical weapons
  635. Yo momma's so dirty that standin next to a tramp she make the tramp look like a butler
  636. Yo momma's so dirty they filmed Gorillas in the mist in her shower
  637. Yo momma's so dirty when her drill sergant said hit the dirt everyone started hitting her.
  638. Yo momma's so dirty you can tell her age by the rings underneath her armpits
  639. Yo momma's so evil she makes the devil look like a good guy
  640. Yo momma's so fat that when she was kidnapped her face covered every side of the milk carton
  641. Yo momma's so fat when she walks her butt claps
  642. Yo momma's so damn fat the Police where going to use her as an emergency air mattress when Michael Jackson started dangling his baby
  643. Yo momma's so big her belly buttons got an echo
  644. Yo momma's so big it takes her 2 hours just to haul ***
  645. Yo momma's so big she can't wear an X jacket cause choppers keep landing on her back
  646. Yo momma's so big she plays marbles with planets
  647. Yo momma's so big she rollerskates on busses
  648. Yo momma's so big she thought Barnum and Bailey were clothing designers
  649. Yo momma's so big she uses a jungle gym for a walker
  650. Yo momma's so big she uses big bird as a rubber ducky
  651. Yo momma's so big she uses bowling balls for earrings
  652. Yo momma's so big she uses I95 for a Slip n Slide
  653. Yo momma's so big she uses the interstate for a Slip n Slide
  654. Yo momma's so big she wears two watches one for each time zone
  655. Yo momma's so big she whistles bass
  656. Yo momma's so big that her graduation picture had to be an aerial view
  657. Yo momma's so big that she climbed Mt Fuji with one step
  658. Yo momma's so big that they had to change One size fits all to One size fits most
  659. Yo momma's so big they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling
  660. Yo momma's so big when she bent down to tie her shoes her face got burnt from reentry
  661. Yo momma's so big when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide
  662. Yo momma's so big when she goes to the movie theatre she sits next to everybody
  663. Yo momma's so big when she stands up the sun goes out
  664. Yo momma's so big when she took a trip to China the chinese people screamed "GODZILLA!!"
  665. Yo momma's so big when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway
  666. Yo momma's so big when the family wants to watch home movies they ask her to wear white
  667. Yo momma's so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck
  668. Yo momma's so fat when I watch tv and she walks in front of it I miss 3 episodes of my show
  669. Yo momma's so fat her legs are like spoiled milk: white and chunky
  670. Yo momma's so fat when you went to the beach a blue whale wanted her children
  671. Yo momma's so fat a picture of her fell off the wall
  672. Yo momma's so fat after she got off the carousel the horse limped for a week
  673. Yo momma's so fat all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor
  674. Yo momma's so fat and dumb she used saturn's ring as a hula hoop
  675. Yo momma's so fat and her back so crooked when she lays down people say I didn't know we had mountains
  676. Yo momma's so fat and old that when God said let there be ight he told her to move her fat *** out of the way
  677. Yo momma's so fat and short and yo daddy so tall and skinny they stand next to each other and make the number 10
  678. Yo momma's so fat and stupid her waist size is larger than her IQ
  679. Yo momma's so fat and stupid that she was fired from Forrest Gump cuz she kept eating the box of chocolates
  680. Yo momma's so fat and you're so poor when she comes in your house the tires pop
  681. Yo momma's so fat as a kid she couldn't play Hidenseek just seek
  682. Yo momma's so fat at the zoo the elephants started throwing her peanuts
  683. Yo momma's so fat by the time she sets her clock its an hour off
  684. Yo momma's so fat that Goodyear come to her to restock on tires
  685. Yo momma's so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction
  686. Yo momma's so fat even her clothes have stretch marks
  687. Yo momma's so fat even her shadow has stretch marks
  688. Yo momma's so fat even Richard Simmons laughs at her
  689. Yo momma's so fat every time she turn around its her next birthday
  690. Yo momma's so fat every time she wears high heels she strikes oil
  691. Yo momma's so fat Fat Albert gave her the rights to say Hey hey hey
  692. Yo momma's so fat folk exercise by jogging around her
  693. Yo momma's so fat God created her and on the seventh day he rested
  694. Yo momma's so fat her *** has its own congressman
  695. Yo momma's so fat her *** looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud
  696. Yo momma's so fat her belly button doesnt have lint it has sweaters
  697. Yo momma's so fat her belly button has got an echo
  698. Yo momma's so fat her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine
  699. Yo momma's so fat her belt size is the equator
  700. Yo momma's so fat her big toe got stuck in the catflap
  701. Yo momma's so fat her blood type is ragu
  702. Yo momma's so fat her blood type is rockyroad
  703. Yo momma's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes
  704. Yo momma's so fat her car is made out of spandex
  705. Yo momma's so fat her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard
  706. Yo momma's so fat her doctor is a grounds keeper
  707. Yo momma's so fat her drivers license says Picture continued on other side
  708. Yo momma's so fat her favorite food is seconds
  709. Yo momma's so fat her favorite blouse is a tent
  710. Yo momma's so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs
  711. Yo momma's so fat her nickname is Damn
  712. Yo momma's so fat her parents had to take her to sea world to get baptized
  713. Yo momma's so fat her picture takes two frames
  714. Yo momma's so fat her shadow weighs 50 pounds
  715. Yo momma's so fat her skates went flat
  716. Yo momma's so fat her stomach got a cell phone to call her mouth when its time to eat
  717. Yo momma's so fat her tailor takes her measurements in light years
  718. Yo momma's so fat her toes bleed when she walks
  719. Yo momma's so fat her yearbook picture is an aerial photograph
  720. Yo momma's so fat I can't see around her
  721. Yo momma's so fat I gain weight just by watching her eat
  722. Yo momma's so fat I gotta take 3 steps back just to see all of her
  723. Yo momma's so fat I had to take 2 planes 3 buses and 5 cabs just to get on her good side
  724. Yo momma's so fat I ran around her twice and got lost
  725. Yo momma's so fat I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4 5 6 7 and 8
  726. Yo momma's so fat I saw her in New York and when I told my friend in LA he'd seen her too
  727. Yo momma's So fat I shot her and Crisco came out
  728. Yo momma's so fat I swerved to miss her but ran out of gas
  729. Yo momma's so fat I think its a new world record
  730. Yo momma's So fat if she got her shoes shined she would have to take the guys word for it
  731. Yo momma's so fat if she weighed five more pounds she could get group insurance
  732. Yo momma's so fat if she were an airplane she'd be a jumbo jet
  733. Yo momma's so fat instead of Levis 501 jeans she wears Levis 1002s
  734. Yo momma's so fat instead of wide leg jeans she wears wide load
  735. Yo momma's so fat it takes a forklift to help her stand up
  736. Yo momma's so fat it takes a year to download her picture
  737. Yo momma's so fat I've known her all my life and I still havent seen ALL of her
  738. Yo momma's so fat when she volunteered to clean cages at the zoo people walked by and said Look at the elephant
  739. Yo momma's so fat McDonalds has to change their sign every time she eats
  740. Yo momma's so fat my dog bit her and died of high cholesterol
  741. Yo momma's so fat NASA has a satellite orbiting around her
  742. Yo momma's so fat NASA is going to use her to fill the hole in the ozone layer
  743. Yo momma's so fat no one can talk behind her back
  744. Yo momma's so fat on a scale of 1 to 10 she's a 747
  745. Yo momma's so fat on each of her butt cheeks she has Place Your Ad Here printed
  746. Yo momma's so fat on Halloween she says trick or meatloaf
  747. Yo momma's so fat on Halloween she trick or treats two houses at a time
  748. Yo momma's so fat one day she walked out with a yellow rain jacket on and the children began yelling Hey the School Bus is here
  749. Yo momma's so fat people use her dandruff as quilts
  750. Yo momma's so fat she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth
  751. Yo momma's so fat she ain't on a diet, she's on a Triet, she's all like Whatever yo eating I'll try it
  752. Yo momma's so fat she broke a branch off of the family tree
  753. Yo momma's so fat she broke her leg and gravy dripped out
  754. Yo momma's so fat she bungee jumped and fell straight to Hell
  755. Yo momma's so fat she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change
  756. Yo momma's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion
  757. Yo momma's so fat she has to have you tie her shoes for her
  758. Yo momma's so fat she can't reach her back pocket
  759. Yo momma's so fat she can't wear Daisy Dukes She has to wear Boss Hoggs
  760. Yo momma's so fat she could be the eighth continent
  761. Yo momma's so fat she could sell shade
  762. Yo momma's so fat she deep fries her toothpaste
  763. Yo momma's so fat she did a back flip and landed on the moon
  764. Yo momma's so fat she DJs for the ice cream truck
  765. Yo momma's so fat she doesnt handles she has a roll bar
  766. Yo momma's so fat she don't eat Wheat Thins she eats Wheat Thicks
  767. Yo momma's so fat she don't know whether she's walking or rolling
  768. Yo momma's so fat she don't wear a she wears an A B C D E F G String
  769. Yo momma's so fat she eats biscuits like tic tacs
  770. Yo momma's so fat she eats cereal out of a satellite dish
  771. Yo momma's so fat she eats desert out of a Trash Can lid
  772. Yo momma's so fat she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles
  773. Yo momma's so fat she entered a fat contest and won first second and third
  774. Yo momma's so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon
  775. Yo momma's so fat she fell in love and broke it
  776. Yo momma's so fat she fell off a boat and the captain yelled Land Ho
  777. Yo momma's so fat she fills up the bath tub and then she turns on the water
  778. Yo momma's so fat she freebases ham
  779. Yo momma's so fat she gets clothes in three sizes: extra fat jumbo and ohmygoditscomingtowardsus
  780. Yo momma's so fat she gets runs in her jeans
  781. Yo momma's so fat she gets stuck in her dreams
  782. Yo momma's so fat she gobbles down Cookies as if they were tictacs
  783. Yo momma's so fat she goes to a restaurant looks at the menu and says Okay
  784. Yo momma's so fat she got a gravitational pull
  785. Yo momma's so fat she got a new job at the Cinema, she works as the screen
  786. Yo momma's so fat she got a speed pass for Dairy Queen
  787. Yo momma's so fat she got her baby pictures taken by satellite
  788. Yo momma's so fat she got hit by a truck and asked Who threw that rock?
  789. Yo momma's so fat she got tired climbing the escalater
  790. Yo momma's so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
  791. Yo momma's so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
  792. Yo momma's so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon
  793. Yo momma's so fat she had to be baptized in the Atlantic Ocean
  794. Yo momma's so fat she had to roll over 4 times just to get an even tan
  795. Yo momma's so fat she has a greater gravitational attraction than a black hole
  796. Yo momma's so fat she has a parttime job as a trampoline
  797. Yo momma's so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand
  798. Yo momma's so fat she has all the caterers on speed dial
  799. Yo momma's so fat she has more nooks and crannies than a Thomas English Muffin
  800. Yo momma's so fat she has smaller fat women orbiting her
  801. Yo momma's so fat she has TB: Two bellies
  802. Yo momma's so fat she has to get out of the car to change gears
  803. Yo momma's so fat she has to get out of the car to change the radio station
  804. Yo momma's so fat she has to go outside to put on deodorant
  805. Yo momma's so fat she has to go outside to sit around the house
  806. Yo momma's so fat she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets
  807. Yo momma's so fat she has to keep pesos in one pocket and yen in the other
  808. Yo momma's so fat she has to put a bookmarker in her rolls to find her belly button
  809. Yo momma's so fat she has to put her belt on with a boomerang
  810. Yo momma's so fat she has to use a lawn chair instead of a Thigh Master
  811. Yo momma's so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper
  812. Yo momma's so fat she has to use sleeping bags for tube socks
  813. Yo momma's so fat she has to wear a long sleeved turtleneck bra
  814. Yo momma's so fat she has to wear a three piece bathing suit
  815. Yo momma's so fat when her beeper goes off people turn around to see if she is backin up
  816. Yo momma's so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck
  817. Yo momma's so fat she jumped in a pool and cause a tidal wave
  818. Yo momma's so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
  819. Yo momma's so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
  820. Yo momma's so fat she leaves stretch marks on the bathtub
  821. Yo momma's so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops
  822. Yo momma's so fat she lost a game at Hide&Seek only because I spotted her behind Mount Everest
  823. Yo momma's so fat she made Richard Simmons cry
  824. Yo momma's so fat she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic
  825. Yo momma's so fat she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic
  826. Yo momma's so fat she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck
  827. Yo momma's so fat she makes Free Willy look like a TicTac
  828. Yo momma's so fat she measures 36 24 36 and the other arm is just as big
  829. Yo momma's so fat she nearly put Safeway out of business
  830. Yo momma's so fat she needs a hula hoop to keep her socks up
  831. Yo momma's so fat she needs a map to find her butt
  832. Yo momma's so fat she once told me she could eat a horse, and she wasn't kidding
  833. Yo momma's so fat she once went on a seafood diet, whenever she saw food she ate it
  834. Yo momma's so fat she plays frisbee with ufos
  835. Yo momma's so fat she plays hopscotch like this: LA Detroit Chicago New York
  836. Yo momma's so fat she pulls up a chair to an all-you-can-eat buffet
  837. Yo momma's so fat she put on a red outfit and people mistaked her for the KoolAid man
  838. Yo momma's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint roller
  839. Yo momma's so fat she put on some BVDs and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard
  840. Yo momma's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin
  841. Yo momma's so fat she ran outside in a yellow dress all the kids started running after her cause they thought they missed the bus
  842. Yo momma's so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar
  843. Yo momma's so fat she sat in Big Foot and made it a lowrider
  844. Yo momma's so fat she sat on a dollar and made change
  845. Yo momma's so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washingtons nose
  846. Yo momma's so fat she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy
  847. Yo momma's so fat she sat on a rainbow and made Skittles
  848. Yo momma's so fat she sat on a rowing machine and it sank
  849. Yo momma's so fat she sat on an Oreo and unlocked the magic
  850. Yo momma's so fat she sat on the Bible and Jesus popped out
  851. Yo momma's so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said "Stop That Twinkie!"
  852. Yo momma's so fat she shaves her legs with a lawn mower
  853. Yo momma's so fat she shops for clothes in the local tent shop
  854. Yo momma's so fat she smells like bacon at 90 degrees
  855. Yo momma's so fat she started singing we are family McDonalds Burger King and me
  856. Yo momma's so fat she stepped on a scale and she saw her phone number
  857. Yo momma's so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it said Please step out of the car
  858. Yo momma's so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her Sorry we don't do livestock
  859. Yo momma's so fat she stepped on an airplane and it turned into a submarine
  860. Yo momma's so fat she steps on a scale and it said one at a time please
  861. Yo momma's so fat she stole my pillow cases when she ran outta socks
  862. Yo momma's so fat she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H D
  863. Yo momma's so fat she sweats Crisco
  864. Yo momma's so fat she takes baths in swimming pools
  865. Yo momma's so fat she takes posters not pictures
  866. Yo momma's so fat she thinks a balanced meal is a ham in each hand
  867. Yo momma's so fat she thinks Church's Chickens a holy place
  868. Yo momma's so fat she thought gravy was a beverage
  869. Yo momma's so fat she tried to get an all over tan and the sun burned out
  870. Yo momma's so fat she tripped on WalMart fell over Kmart and landed right on Target
  871. Yo momma's so fat she uses a kiddie slide for a shoe horn
  872. Yo momma's so fat she uses a laptop as a cell phone
  873. Yo momma's so fat she uses a satellite dish as a diaphragm
  874. Yo momma's so fat she uses a blanket as a washcloth
  875. Yo momma's so fat she uses C++++
  876. Yo momma's so fat she uses navy ships as jet skis
  877. Yo momma's so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
  878. Yo momma's so fat she uses sleeping bags for leg warmers
  879. Yo momma's so fat she uses the carpet as a blanket
  880. Yo momma's so fat she wakes up in sections
  881. Yo momma's so fat she walked in front of the tv and I missed 3 commercials
  882. Yo momma's so fat she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth
  883. Yo momma's so fat she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease and the doctor gave her 17 years to live
  884. Yo momma's so fat she was floating in the Atlantic ocean and Spain claimed her as a New World
  885. Yo momma's so fat she was in the New York Times last week on page 5 6 7 8 and 9
  886. Yo momma's so fat she was zoned for commercial development
  887. Yo momma's so fat she wears a hula hoop for a belly button ring
  888. Yo momma's so fat she wears a Microwave as a beeper
  889. Yo momma's so fat she wears a real horse on her Polo shirt
  890. Yo momma's so fat she wears a sign that says Caution Wide Turn
  891. Yo momma's so fat she wears an asteroid belt
  892. Yo momma's so fat she went on a light diet, and as soon as its light she starts eating
  893. Yo momma's so fat she went to Jenny Craigs and they said we asked for your weight not your phone number
  894. Yo momma's so fat she went to sit down and the chair begged for mercy
  895. Yo momma's so fat she went to Sizzler and got a group discount
  896. Yo momma's so fat she's got her own zip code
  897. Yo momma's so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book
  898. Yo momma's so fat she's moving the Earth out of its orbit
  899. Yo momma's so fat she's on both side of the family
  900. Yo momma's so fat she's once twice three times a lady
  901. Yo momma's so fat she's taller lying down
  902. Yo momma's so fat someone tries to take a picture of her with a digital camera and it read Not Enough Space
  903. Yo momma's so fat stunt agencies use her as an air mattress
  904. Yo momma's so fat that she needs a solar panel to see her reflection
  905. Yo momma's so fat that she went to the beach, dove, and the Asians said tsunami
  906. Yo momma's so fat that she would have been in ET but when she rode the bike across the moon she caused an eclipse
  907. Yo momma's so fat that when she fell no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up
  908. Yo momma's so fat that when she put on a white jacket everybody yells look its the Michelin Man
  909. Yo momma's so fat that when she walks across the living room the radio skips
  910. Yo momma's so fat that when she was born she gave the hospital stretch marks
  911. Yo momma's so fat that when she went on a scale it reads To Infinity and Beyond
  912. Yo momma's so fat that when she went to sea world the little kids ran away and told their parents that a whale escaped
  913. Yo momma's so fat that when u were born they had to send out a search party to find you
  914. Yo momma's so fat the animals at the zoo feed her
  915. Yo momma's so fat the body ers called home for backup
  916. Yo momma's so fat the circus use her as a trampoline
  917. Yo momma's so fat the earth orbits around her instead of the sun
  918. Yo momma's so fat the highway patrol made her wear Caution Wide Turn
  919. Yo momma's so fat the last time she saw 90210 she was on a scale
  920. Yo momma's so fat the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts
  921. Yo momma's so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
  922. Yo momma's so fat the only thing she can fit into at the clothing store is the dressing rooms
  923. Yo momma's so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door
  924. Yo momma's so fat the only thing thats attracted to her is gravity
  925. Yo momma's so fat they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through
  926. Yo momma's so fat they had to install speed bumps at the all-you-can-eat buffet
  927. Yo momma's so fat they have to run a relay race to get her belt through her belt loops
  928. Yo momma's so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it
  929. Yo momma's so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
  930. Yo momma's so fat to her light food means under 4 Tons
  931. Yo momma's so fat she's in shape, round
  932. Yo momma's so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet
  933. Yo momma's so fat when a cop saw her he told her Hey you two break it up
  934. Yo momma's so fat when brought her dress to the cleaners the people said sorry we don't do curtains
  935. Yo momma's so fat when I yell KoolAid she comes crashing through the wall
  936. Yo momma's so fat when it says all-you-can-eat it still ain't enough
  937. Yo momma's so fat when she auditioned for a part in Indiana Jones she got the part as the big rolling ball
  938. Yo momma's so fat when she bends over we enter Daylight Saving Time
  939. Yo momma's so fat when she bungee jumps she brings down the bridge too
  940. Yo momma's so fat when she comes down the stairs she measures on the Richter scale
  941. Yo momma's so fat when she crosses the street cars look out for her
  942. Yo momma's so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips
  943. Yo momma's so fat when she farted she launched herself into orbit
  944. Yo momma's so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again
  945. Yo momma's so fat when she goes to a restaurant she doesnt get a menu she gets an estimate
  946. Yo momma's so fat when she goes to a restaurant she even orders Thank You Come Again
  947. Yo momma's so fat when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER
  948. Yo momma's so fat when she goes to an office they tell her to pull up a sofa
  949. Yo momma's so fat when she goes to the circus she sees the big top and asks Where can I try that on?
  950. Yo momma's so fat when she goes to the circus she takes up all the rings
  951. Yo momma's so fat when she goes to the drycleaners and hands in her underwear they say sorry no parachutes accepted
  952. Yo momma's so fat when she jumps into the pool the other swimmers can go surfing
  953. Yo momma's so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun
  954. Yo momma's so fat when she opens the Fridge it says I give up
  955. Yo momma's so fat when she ordered a My Size Meal at McDonalds they gave her the key to the store
  956. Yo momma's so fat when she ordered a waterbed they put a blanket over the ocean
  957. Yo momma's so fat when she played hide-and-go-seek she hid behind a water tower
  958. Yo momma's so fat when she ran away they had to put her picture on the milk truck
  959. Yo momma's so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon it looks like she's wearin tights
  960. Yo momma's so fat when she sat on a TV it turned into a flat screen
  961. Yo momma's so fat when she sits around the house she sits AROUND the house
  962. Yo momma's so fat when she sits in a chair the rolls on her legs cover her feet like a blanket
  963. Yo momma's so fat when she sits in the classroom she sits next to everyone
  964. Yo momma's so fat when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet
  965. Yo momma's so fat when she tiptoes everyone yells Stampede
  966. Yo momma's so fat when she tries to get outta bed she rocks herself back to sleep
  967. Yo momma's so fat when she turns around people give her a welcome back party
  968. Yo momma's so fat when she was born she didn't get a birth certificate she got blue prints
  969. Yo momma's so fat when she was walking in her jeans I swear I smelled something burning
  970. Yo momma's so fat when she wears a Malcomn X Tshirt helicopters try to land on her back
  971. Yo momma's so fat when she wears a purple sweater people call her Barney
  972. Yo momma's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people run after her and call Taxi
  973. Yo momma's so fat when she went to the Rose Parade everyone thought she was a float
  974. Yo momma's so fat when she wore a shirt with an AA on it people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet
  975. Yo momma's so fat when the cashier at KFC asked what size bucket she wanted she said the one on the roof
  976. Yo momma's so fat when the police showed her a picture of her feet she couldn't identify them
  977. Yo momma's so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in
  978. Yo momma's so fat you could slap her butt and ride the waves
  979. Yo momma's so fat you can use her *** as a slippery slide
  980. Yo momma's so fat your family portrait has stretchmarks
  981. Yo momma's so fat shes got stretch marks on her teeth
  982. Yo momma's so fat that she was asked to star as the whale in the movie Moby Dick
  983. Yo momma's so flat she's jealous of a piece of paper
  984. Yo momma's so flat she's jealous of the wall
  985. Yo momma's so dumb that if you told her pappa was a rolling stone she'd tell her momma to put Mick Jagger on child support
  986. Yo momma's so I talked to her over the PC and she gave me a virus
  987. Yo momma's so cheap she washes paper plates
  988. Yo momma's so ugly when she was born the doctor said put her back she ain't done yet
  989. Yo momma's so greasy her freckles slipped off
  990. Yo momma's so greasy her idea of bottled water is the left over oil slime from a bacon sausage and egg fry up
  991. Yo momma's so greasy McDonalds uses her sweat as Deep Fry
  992. Yo momma's so greasy she sweats butter syrup, excretes jam, and has a full time job at the Pancake Palace wiping pancakes across her forheed
  993. Yo momma's so greasy Texaco buys oil from her
  994. Yo momma's so greasy when she slid into second she ended in detroit
  995. Yo momma's so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture
  996. Yo momma's so hairy Jane Goodall follows her around
  997. Yo momma's so hairy looks like a chia pet with a sweater on
  998. Yo momma's So hairy she got a trim and lost 10 pounds
  999. Yo momma's so hairy she got in my car and it looked like I had tinted windows
  1000. Yo momma's So hairy she shaves with a weedwacker
  1001. Yo momma's So lazy she doesnt walk in her sleep she hitch hikes
  1002. Yo momma's so lazy she thinks a two income family is where yo daddy has two jobs
  1003. Yo momma's so lazy she's got a remote control just to operate her remote
  1004. Yo momma's so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon
  1005. Yo momma's so a skunk smelled her *** and passed out
  1006. Yo momma's so I called her to say hello and she ended up giving me an ear infection
  1007. Yo momma's so I need to go wash my eyes
  1008. Yo momma's so Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
  1009. Yo momma's so she bit the dog and gave it rabies
  1010. Yo momma's so she went swimming and made the Dead Sea
  1011. Yo momma's so when I went to your house said whats for dinner put her foot up on the table and said Corn
  1012. Yo momma's so short she can do backflips under her bed
  1013. Yo momma's so short she can play handball on the curb
  1014. Yo momma's so short she did a sucide jump off the curve
  1015. Yo momma's so short she gotta slamdunk her bus fare
  1016. Yo momma's so short she has to cuff her underwear
  1017. Yo momma's so short she has to jump to touch the ground
  1018. Yo momma's so short she has to reach up to tie her shoe
  1019. Yo momma's so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime
  1020. Yo momma's so short she s for trophies
  1021. Yo momma's so short that she has to hold up a sign that says don't spit I can't swim
  1022. Yo momma's so short you can see her feet on her drivers license
  1023. Yo momma's so skinny if she had a yeast infection she'd be a Quarter Pounder with Cheese
  1024. Yo momma's so skinny instead of calling her your parent you call her transparent
  1025. Yo momma's so skinny she can dodge rain drops
  1026. Yo momma's so skinny she can see out the peephole with both eyes
  1027. Yo momma's so skinny she gotta run around in the shower to get wet
  1028. Yo momma's so skinny she had to stand in the same place twice to cast a shadow
  1029. Yo momma's so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex
  1030. Yo momma's so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio
  1031. Yo momma's so skinny she uses Chapstick for deodorant
  1032. Yo momma's so skinny you can save her from drowning by tossing her a Cheerio
  1033. Yo momma's so skinny you could blindfold her with dental floss
  1034. Yo momma's so slow I could beat her in a race even if I was asleep
  1035. Yo momma's so slow I run laps around her
  1036. Yo momma's so slow I walk faster then she runs
  1037. Yo momma's so slow it takes her 2 days just to wake up from the day before
  1038. Yo momma's so slow it takes her 2 days to take a bath
  1039. Yo momma's so slow she can't catch a turtle
  1040. Yo momma's so slow she can't even catch her own breath
  1041. Yo momma's so slow she forgets what she is thinking before she even think of it
  1042. Yo momma's so slow she has been leaving for 2 hours
  1043. Yo momma's so slow she has not even signed up for the race yet and its already over
  1044. Yo momma's so slow she hasn't even started
  1045. Yo momma's so slow she is still at home
  1046. Yo momma's so slow she is still back in 1999
  1047. Yo momma's so slow she is still being born
  1048. Yo momma's so slow she is still finishing yesterdays race
  1049. Yo momma's so slow she is still on the first word of this insult
  1050. Yo momma's so slow she makes a turtle look fast
  1051. Yo momma's so slow she makes the DMV seem fast
  1052. Yo momma's so slow she needs the car just to go check the mail box
  1053. Yo momma's so smelly even sewer rats get outta her way
  1054. Yo momma's so smelly her poo is glad to escape
  1055. Yo momma's so smelly she made Right Guard call for backup
  1056. Yo momma's so smelly she was playing in my Sand Box and the cat came along and buried her
  1057. Yo momma's so smelly so the government make her wear a Biohazard warning
  1058. Yo momma's so smelly that farmers use her bathwater as liquid fertilizer
  1059. Yo momma's so smelly that standing next to a skunk the skunk smells sweet
  1060. Yo momma's so smelly that the gasmask became a fashion statement
  1061. Yo momma's so smelly that the only dis I'm gonna give her is Disinfectent
  1062. Yo momma's so smelly that when you was being born the doctors and nurses all had to wear oxygen masks
  1063. Yo momma's so stank she made Right Guard go left Speed Stick slow down and Ban come off strike
  1064. Yo momma's so stank she made Right Guard go left Speed Stick slow down and Secret told it all
  1065. Yo momma's so stinky she gets sourdough yeast infections
  1066. Yo momma's so stinky dogs like to roll around on her
  1067. Yo momma's so stinky the coroner picked her up while she was sleeping
  1068. Yo momma's so stinky they had to invent Chanel No 6
  1069. Yo momma's so tall she did a pushup and burned her back on the sun
  1070. Yo momma's so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida
  1071. Yo momma's so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon
  1072. Yo momma's so ugly looks like she was hit by the whole ugly tree
  1073. Yo momma's so ugly even the Elephant Man makes jokes about her
  1074. Yo momma's so ugly even the elephant man paid to see her
  1075. Yo momma's so ugly even the tide wont take her out
  1076. Yo momma's so ugly for Christmas they hang her and kiss the mistletoe
  1077. Yo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone
  1078. Yo momma's so ugly had to get her baby drunk just so she could breast feed
  1079. Yo momma's so ugly her Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye
  1080. Yo momma's so ugly her dentist treats her by mail order
  1081. Yo momma's so ugly her face can stop a sun dial
  1082. Yo momma's so ugly her face is like a peice of modern art, you can't tell what it is
  1083. Yo momma's so ugly her momma had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her
  1084. Yo momma's so ugly her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel
  1085. Yo momma's so ugly her pillow cries at night
  1086. Yo momma's so ugly her reflection in the mirror ducks
  1087. Yo momma's so ugly her shadow gave up
  1088. Yo momma's so ugly hotel managers use her picture to keep away the Rats
  1089. Yo momma's so ugly I heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo
  1090. Yo momma's so ugly I said her name at the dinner table and my mom said shhh not when we are eating
  1091. Yo momma's so ugly I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application
  1092. Yo momma's so ugly I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a pay check
  1093. Yo momma's so ugly I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said Thanks for bringing her back
  1094. Yo momma's so ugly if she were a scarecrow the corn would run away
  1095. Yo momma's so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects
  1096. Yo momma's so ugly if you looked up ugly in the dictionary her picture would be next to it
  1097. Yo momma's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle they put it around her neck
  1098. Yo momma's so ugly it looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down
  1099. Yo momma's so ugly it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym
  1100. Yo momma's so ugly it looks like she's been bobbing for french fries
  1101. Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born her momma said What a treasure and her father said Yes lets go bury it
  1102. Yo momma's so ugly kids dress up as her for Halloween
  1103. Yo momma's so ugly Medusa is jealous
  1104. Yo momma's so ugly my dog took one look at her and ran away
  1105. Yo momma's so ugly people at the circus pay money not to see her
  1106. Yo momma's so ugly people hang her picture in their basements to scare the rats away
  1107. Yo momma's so ugly people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen
  1108. Yo momma's so ugly she can look up a camels butt and scare the hump off of it
  1109. Yo momma's so ugly she climbed the ugly ladder and didn't miss a step
  1110. Yo momma's so ugly she could scare Cujo off a meat truck
  1111. Yo momma's so ugly she could scare the chrome off a bumper
  1112. Yo momma's so ugly she could scare the moss off a rock
  1113. Yo momma's so ugly Rice Krispies wont talk to her
  1114. Yo momma's so ugly roaches go Hi mom
  1115. Yo momma's so ugly she didn't get hit with an ugly stick but with THE ugly log
  1116. Yo momma's so ugly she didn't get hit with the ugly stick she ran through the whole damn forest
  1117. Yo momma's so ugly she gave Freddy Kruger nightmares
  1118. Yo momma's so ugly she gets 364 extra days just to dress up for Halloween
  1119. Yo momma's so ugly she gets 7 years bad luck when ever trying to look at herself in the mirror
  1120. Yo momma's so ugly she got arrested for vandalizing a mirror shop
  1121. Yo momma's so ugly she has a sign in her yard that says Beware of Dog
  1122. Yo momma's so ugly she has to creep up on her makeup
  1123. Yo momma's so ugly she looked out her window and was arrested for exposure
  1124. Yo momma's so ugly she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning
  1125. Yo momma's so ugly she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork
  1126. Yo momma's so ugly she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks
  1127. Yo momma's so ugly she made a blind man cry
  1128. Yo momma's so ugly she made an onion cry
  1129. Yo momma's so ugly she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt
  1130. Yo momma's so ugly she put the Boogie man outta business
  1131. Yo momma's so ugly she scared the stitches off Frankenstein
  1132. Yo momma's so ugly she threw a boomerang and it wouldnt even come back
  1133. Yo momma's so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out
  1134. Yo momma's so ugly she was on Ripleys Believe it or Not
  1135. Yo momma's so ugly she works as a double for Saddam Hussein
  1136. Yo momma's so ugly she'd make a freight train take a dirt road
  1137. Yo momma's so ugly she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness
  1138. Yo momma's so ugly she's never seen herself cause the mirrors keep breaking
  1139. Yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were an Olympic event she would be the dream team
  1140. Yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd be building a highrise
  1141. Yo momma's so ugly that she went to an ugly contest and they said sorry no professionals
  1142. Yo momma's so ugly that when I put my butt out the window and she put her face out the window people thought we were twins
  1143. Yo momma's so ugly that when she cries the tears run down the back of her head because they're afraid of her face
  1144. Yo momma's so ugly that when she went out the zoo the zookeeper said Get back to your cage
  1145. Yo momma's so ugly the doctor is still smacking her ***
  1146. Yo momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday
  1147. Yo momma's so ugly the last time I saw something that looked like her I pinned a tail on it
  1148. Yo momma's so ugly the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train
  1149. Yo momma's so ugly the mailman mistaked her as the dog
  1150. Yo momma's so ugly the NHL banned her for life
  1151. Yo momma's so ugly the ProLifers would make an exception in her case
  1152. Yo momma's so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie face down
  1153. Yo momma's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars
  1154. Yo momma's so ugly they filmed Gorillas in the Mist in her shower
  1155. Yo momma's so ugly they gave her a middle name: accident
  1156. Yo momma's so ugly they knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock
  1157. Yo momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies
  1158. Yo momma's so ugly they put her face on a milk carton and it spoiled
  1159. Yo momma's so ugly they put her face on a poster for abstinence
  1160. Yo momma's so ugly they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks
  1161. Yo momma's so ugly you have to put her in the kennel when we go on vacation
  1162. Yo momma's so ugly when born the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows
  1163. Yo momma's so ugly when I last saw a mouth like hers it had a hook in it
  1164. Yo momma's so ugly when she gets up the sun goes down
  1165. Yo momma's so ugly when she moved into the projects all her neighbors chipped in for curtains
  1166. Yo momma's so ugly when she passes by a bathoom the toilet flushes
  1167. Yo momma's so ugly when she takes her bra off she looks like she has four big toes
  1168. Yo momma's so ugly when she walks down the street in September people say Wow is it Halloween already?
  1169. Yo momma's so ugly when she walks in the kitchen the rats jump on the table and start screaming
  1170. Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank they turn off the surveillance cameras
  1171. Yo momma's so ugly when she was born the Doc smacked her face
  1172. Yo momma's so ugly when she was born the doctor looked at her *** then her face and said Twins
  1173. Yo momma's so ugly when she was born the doctor smacked the wrong end
  1174. Yo momma's so ugly when she went camping the park ranger was like Hey Yogi
  1175. Yo momma's so ugly when she went to the store and someone said no dogs please
  1176. Yo momma's so ugly when the terminator said Ill be back he left running
  1177. Yo momma's so ugly when the when she was born the doctors ed her parents
  1178. Yo momma's so ugly Yo daddy tosses the ugly stick and she fetches it every time
  1179. Yo momma's so ugly when she went to Iraq they said We surrender
  1180. Yo momma's so cheap when she saw a penny on the floor she said son we won the lottery
  1181. Yo momma's so wrinkled she has to screw her hat on
  1182. Yo momma's talks so much her mouth is like a convenience store, open 24 hours a day
  1183. Yo momma's teeth are so big she bit down on a piece of gum and cut her own toenails
  1184. Yo momma's teeth are so black she spits ink
  1185. Yo momma's teeth are so rotten it looks like her tongue is in jail
  1186. Yo momma's teeth are so rotten when she smiles they look like dice
  1187. Yo momma's teeth are so yellow cars slow down when she smiles
  1188. Yo momma's teeth are so yellow Dorothy and Toto thought it was the Yellow Brick Road
  1189. Yo momma's teeth so yellow she could get a job a the movie theater spittin on popcorn

Okay, now you just have to know WHEN to use em'.
 

E

Moderator
Excelsior Club
Joined
May 17, 2004
Messages
33,346
Location
MI
I don't care what anyone says - yo momma jokes will never get old. EVER.
 

Victor Von Doom

Fist of teh Internets.
Joined
Oct 19, 2005
Messages
16,964
Location
On The Edge
I don't care what anyone says - yo momma jokes will never get old. EVER.

As a black man I'm sure I can speak for all my people when I say "Fo Realz Yo!" :lol:


But this thread had great potential for at least some funnyness.....but then the first post had over a 1,000 momma jokes. What's the point of anyone even posting one? It's probably already up there.

Meh....
 

Hibiki

Really is pretentious, no matter what she says. Do
Joined
May 17, 2006
Messages
5,972
Location
Anytime USA all the way
We should just start spurting yo mamma jokes at each other. I feel so ghetto now saying yo mamma.



Tu madre
 

nigma

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 7, 2005
Messages
3,257
Location
Vancouver, Wa
159 Yo momma's so dumb she thinks WuTang is an orange flavored drink
# Yo momma's so dumb she though Titanic was a new flavor of tic tac
# Yo momma's so dumb she thought 2 Pac Shakur was a Jewish holiday
# Yo momma's so dumb she thought 50 cent was a cheap payperview

thats funny, im gonna have use that 2 pac one on one of my freinds

78 Yo momma's so dumb she cooks Indian curry with Old Spice
:lol: :lol:
344 Yo momma's so poor a hobo threw a cigarette on the floor and she said Thank God we have heat
351 Yo momma's so poor I asked her what's for dinner and she pulled out a gun and said, Next one who moves

:lol: :shock: :lol:

870:Yo momma's so fat she tripped on WalMart fell over Kmart and landed right on Target
908:Yo momma's so fat that when she put on a white jacket everybody yells look its the Michelin Man
1002:Yo momma's so lazy she thinks a two income family is where yo daddy has two jobs

i thought these were funny, and yes i read the whole thing
 
Last edited:

Gamma Man

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 25, 2006
Messages
1,053
Location
The Place wedged inbtween Reality and my Bookshelf
ohhhhhhhhhhh, you sonuva. You thought Iraq was harsh. You better know how to sleep with one eye open! ::gripe:

Calm down, no need to threaten Von Doom {Thinks in head: I am only saying this because I don't have the guts to, but, good job Hibiki, that guys a real jerk. That is right Von Doom, if you have no idea what i am talking about, look at the Brotherhood posts, and if you still have it, the PM that said like 5 times.:evil: :twisted:}
 

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