I gave this a read, and it was enjoyable.
You almost feel into the trap of over description, almost, especially at the beginning, but you managed to get past that quick enough, and move on with the story.
Though Luffy only had a few lines, you manage to show his personality off well. I think you fell with Riku, even though he only had a a couple of lines as well, his actions would have been different, more magic, less pistols. And the Riku at the end of Kingdom Hearts 2 doesn't need the bandage anymore. And he is not overconfident, Riku is disciplined compared to Sora.
I have no idea who Abara or Kadesh were. Or even if they were different people.
Overall though, an enjoyable read.
Good Job.
Midnighter and Apollo from Authority should be in it.