Dreamcasting: Adaptations #10 - GI JOE

[Willverine]

Because knowing is half the battle...

1) The winner of the last round becomes the moderator of the round, and thus gets to choose the property or story in question to be adapted. Winner may also declare whether this property is an animated film, or a live-action one. He must also name the core characters to be cast, which should be at least 4, but no more than 9.

2) Participants may not use actors who have played the role before in the same medium before. Voice talents may not reprise their role, nor can film/TV ones.

3) After the time period set by the moderator, the round is declared closed. People will vote via PM and send it to the moderator, who will count the votes and declare winner. Like the Ultimatization Game, you CANNOT vote for yourself.

4) The winner declared gets to choose the property in the next round.

This round's property is:

GI JOE: A REAL AMERICAN HERO

I have chosen 8 characters each from Cobra and GI Joe which will give a general idea of the main roles. You MUST cast the first 4 characters from each, plus Storm Shadow from COBRA. The others are all optional.

Here are the 8 main good guys, the Joe team:

Duke First Sergeant Conrad S. Hauser, Army Airborne. Joe's #1 leader in the field.
Snake Eyes Master Sergeant [Classified], Infantry and Hand-to-hand combat expert, ninja and commando.
Scarlett Master Sergeant Shana Mae O'Hara, Intelligence/Covert Ops.
Roadblock Sergeant First Class Marvin F. Hinton, Heavy Weapons and Chef.
Gung-Ho Sergeant Major Ettiene R. LaFitte, USMC. Recon and Jungle Warfare specialist.
Flint Chief Warrant Officer Dashiel R. Fairborn, Airborne Ranger. Infantry and Helicopter Pilot.
Shiprwreck Senior Chief Petty Officer Hector X. Delgado, Navy S.E.A.L. Gunner's Mate and Machinist.
"GI Joe" Colton Brigadier General. The original "G.I. Joe" (with Kung-Fu Grip!)

As for their nemeses, the 8 bad guys from COBRA I've chosen are:

Cobra Commander Name and Rank Unknown/Classified. Global Terrorist leader/fundraiser/organizer.
Destro James McCullen Destro XXIV. Weapons manufacturer and terrorist.
Baroness Anastasia DeCobray (possible alias). Intelligence and Fixed wing pilot.
Major Bludd Sebastian Bludd. Weapons master and terrorist.
Storm Shadow Thomas S. Arashikage. Covert Ops/Hand-to-hand combat expert/ninja.
Zartan Name unknown. Master of disguise and espionage, leader of the Dreadnoks.
Firefly Name unknown/classified. Sabotage, demolitions, terror, martial arts.
Dr. Mindbender Name Unknown. Genetic engineer, orthodontist by trade.

There are also plenty of supporting roles you can pick and choose from, if you're familiar enough with the history of GI Joe and it's properties and willing/able to put any extra time into this round. Expand on Zartan's gang of Dreadnoks. Introduce Tomax and Xamot. Have a martial arts free-for-all with Jinx, Quick Kick, Kamakura and the whole damn Arashikage clan in the mix. Feel free to make this into an epic of Ben Hur proportions!

It's not a requirement and there are no bonus points, but I would really like to see what the premise of everyone's Joe story would be. Old-school Joe action fit for audiences of all ages and political leanings, or closer to the Devil's Due comic series, with more of a real-world feel? Or... something completely different... maybe Joes in Space? (I hope not).

Since you are going to need them, here are some extra resources. Please... USE THEM!

http://www.joeheadquarters.com/charlist_joes1.shtml
http://www.myuselessknowledge.com/joe/carchive.html
http://joes.propadeutic.com/
http://www.yojoe.com/faq/

Do your research, pick your actors and actresses, and above all... HAVE FUN!

This round will close in two weeks: Monday, October 22. Voting will end the following day. Winner will be announced Wednesday, October 24. Good luck!

 

[Victor Von Doom]

Awesome choices. Wish I had chose this instead of Oz. Wait--no I don't. My Oz cast was awesome.

Anyways....I think the round can end before then. It's a big cast....but 2 weeks tends to be a long time with these games. Most people do it within 7-10 days. Then the round just sits there for a week with no one posting.

Just a thought.

 

[Dr.Strangefate]

I think its better to see whether or not people post anything before shortening a round...

I'm not doing this round though, since I never really got into GI Joe.

So... yeah.

 

[Bass]

Oh hell yes.

ACTION FORCE!

INTERNATIONAL HEROES!

**** yes, I'm doing this one.

 

[Random]

"Hey kid! I'm a computa.... stop all the downloadin'. Help computa.


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

 

[ourchair]

I really think you need a more rigidly defined cast.

I mean, the whole point of the game-contest thing is that everyone's Cast-Fighting to do the same characters, and as such, people are fighting to see who is THE ONE who 'gets' the character the way everyone else envisions it, or at least that the sum totality of their cast 'gets' it.

 

[Bass]

This is the opening. (I was listening to this non-stop while picking my cast.)

Terrorists attack the Statue of Liberty with balloon bombs.

This is a toyetic fun fest with a kickin' soundtrack.

And I'd probably steal the plot to PYRAMIDS OF DARKNESS.

I had problems with this as I realised that anyone could play anyone and it could still be ****ing great. Seriously, take the guy I cast as Duke and cast him as Cobra Commander and you go, "****. That could work too!" So, the hell with it.

"FULL FORCE!" (or whatever the pansy Yankee version of their catchphrase was)

Bruce Willis as DUKE
I found this really, really, hard. In the end I went for Bruce Willis because he's hardcore and I couldn't think of anyone better. I almost went for Gary Cole.

Wesley Snipes as SNAKE EYES
Provided he signs the contract which says "we will never see your face in this film and you have no lines", Wesley Snipes would be uber-cool. He'd have the stage presence in spades to do this. It'd be a great role.

Jennifer Garner as SCARLETT
I think she'd be great. I'm sure she's good in KINGDOM.

Terry Crews as ROADBLOCK
He's be funny as hell, big, charismatic, and sharp. Everything Roadblock should be.

Adam Baldwin as GUNG-HO
The key to this cast is guys who can be serious while at the same time, making sure you've got a big ****ing giant grin from ear to ear. Adam Baldwin's great at that stuff.

Connor Trinneer as FLINT
Probably the best thing from ENTERPRISE, Connor Trinneer, as Trip, was really entertaining and enjoyable. I almost went for David Boreanaz, but I don't want this to be a Whedon-edition of the cast. I think he'd be a good second-in-command for Willis' Duke, but I'm not sure. I like Trinneer a lot, and he fits the theme of this cast, which is entertainers that make you smile n' all.

Nathan Fillion as SHIPWRECK
I really didn't want to have to FIREFLY actors on here, but I tried, I really did to come up with a good Shipwreck. I thought about it - Shipwreck has to look tough, be a convincing military man - yet he's also really stupid and impracticle, and really, really funny. Then I realised I was describing Malcolm Reynolds without the bitterness. Like Duke and Flint, I'm sure you could pick someone better, but I can't think of who right now.

R Lee Emery as GIJOE COLTON
I dunno this guy, but if you want a tough military man who kills gooks in Vietnam...

 

[Bass]

And more for Action Force!

Yes. I want more guys in this film.

Will Smith as ALPINE
I loved the Alpine/Bazooka duo in the cartoon, and so I wannit in the film. And Will Smith would be great.

Ron Perlman as BAZOOKA
If you don't think Ron Pearlman and Will Smith as a double-act scaling Antarctic mountains is recepie for greatest movie ever, go to hell. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

Stephen Chow as QUICK KICK
If you thought Will Smith + Ron Perlman wasn't good enough, then Stephen Chow should turn any skeptic into a believer. He would be introduced to Action Force through Alpine and Bazooka. Christ - Alpine and Bazooka could have their own ****ing film. Anyhow, Stephen Chow - very funny, very entertaining, and very martial artsy. Perfect recipie for martial artist who makes Frozen Fudgie Bar adverts in the antarctic. Without a vest. Or shoes. Loon.

Jesse Spencer as DUSTY
Because I liked Dusty! Jesse Spencer has one of the best characters in HOUSE and he's cool. And Australian.

Mandy Patinkin as FOOTLOOSE
Yet another cast member who will purely entertain you for 2 hours on his own. And, like PYRAMIDS OF DARKNESS, he'll be teamed up with Dusty, and so you've got a nice age-mix there.

William H Macy as LIFELINE
One of my favourite episodes revolved around Cobra systematically destroying Action Force by promoting three Action Force members: Lifeline, Dial-Tone, and Shipwreck. So I want 'em in the movie. The reason these three got promoted into a triumverate leader role is because none of them were good leaders. Lifeline had the ability, but not the desire. Dial-Tone had the desire, but not the ability. And Shipwreck had neither the desire nor the ability and bullied everyone. I loved it. They deserve their own film too. So speaks BASSYWOOD.

Bruce Campbell as DIAL-TONE
You get this whole, "actors who can't help but make you smile" theme, yeah? Good.

Tom Selleck as HAWK
I could do this forever.

Ninja from "Ask a Ninja" as BEACH HEAD
I loved Beach Head in the Action Force movie. He was hysterically funny. You know I'm right. Just paint the Ninja's costume green and you're good to go. Yet another character who could've had his own movie. Think of POLICE ACADEMY only funny. With guns. That shoot colour-coded lasers depending on which side you're on. Yes.

 

[Bass]

Aaaaaaaaaand now for COBRAAAAA!!!!!

James Purefoy as XAMOT and TOMAX
The twins were cool. And James Purefoy is a ****ing amazing actor.

Timothy Olyphant as FIREFLY
Firefly has to be dangerous, exciting, scary, and all with just his eyes. I think Timothy Olyphant nails this role.

Willem DaFoe as MAJOR BLUDD
I wanted someone crazy, who'd try the voice, and just light everything up under a DAS BUT helmet and eyepatch. It's DaFoe. Also, I think he and the guy I've got next should have their own spin-off movie, for sheer the awesomity it would produce could power Mother Russia.

William Sadler as DR MINDBENDER
This had loads of options - I almost went for Joe Pantoliono or Brad Dourif, and really considered David Allen Brooks but I went for Sadler because he's awesome and can do the outrageous accent. And as I say, he and DaFoe should have the DOCTOR AND MAJOR spin-off movie.

Ray Stevenson, Kevin McKidd, and Ray Park as THE DREADNOKS
I loved the Dreadnoks. They'd be Torch, Buzzer, and Ripper respectively, I think. They'd all be British (which is cool) and all hard nut jobs. This is The Punisher, Thor, and Darth Maul tag team we're talking here. Not to mention Vorenus and Pullo.

And the rest of Cobra...

 

[Bass]

Right now!

Zachary Quinto as ZARTAN
They're names both begin with Z. 'Gad! This is uncanny, man! I loved Zartan, and when I thought of Qunito, I knew I couldn't do better. Sure he's young, but he's able to be distinctive whilst being invisible. Perfect for Zartan who, like Sylar, has that weird echo-y voice thing going on. Probably my best casting I think.

Sean Bean as ZANDAR
He's his spitting image, dagnabit!

Jaime Pressley as ZARANA
Once I cast the brothers, I had to cast Zarana. I think crazy Joy would be perfect. Pressley can be queen or whore, just like Zarana.

Donnie Yen as STORMSHADOW
I looked up famous martial arts actors. This guy popped up. He's actor, writer, and director. I liked his face. I youtubed him. He's pretty ****ing awesome. There's a fight scene of him with a metal baton against a white-suit wearing guy with a knife. It's an awesome fight, and Donnie Yen intensely interesting throughout. Him up against Wesley Snipes would be wicked cool.

Famke Janssen as THE BARONESS
Could not be more ****ing perfect. Plus - she could do the accent (and me, please God).

Avery Brooks as DESTRO
I've always felt Destro is black. I dunno. I almost went with Rutger Hauer, but Avery Brooks has the presence and the ability to look like he can destroy people with just his head. He's hard core. I think this is a home run.

Timothy Dalton as COBRA COMMANDER
Chris Latta is dead. So this was hard. I thought about Jeremy Irons, Gary Oldman, Gabriel Byrne, and even Rip Torn, but I think Dalton's the best. Great voice, and I think, with Dalton as the Commander, we can do something cool - give Cobra Commander a secret identity. Imagine Timothy Dalton is like this huge humanitarian entrepeneur beloved the world over. Like Lex Luthor or Palpatine. But in private, in a hood or silver mask, he's the leader of the greatest (and most inept) terrorist organisation ever. **** yes, that's a ****ing villain for this film. He goes gradually more insane as Action Force continually foil his plains, so he tries to blow up the statue of liberty or something. I just love Timothy Dalton. Plus! Him versus Bruce Willis with freedom in the balance! This is movie gold, guys. Movie ****ing gold.

I want this film now.

 

[Planet-man]

This is awesome.

And Rome should be the new Whedonverse when it comes to actor mining.

 

[Langsta]

....ZOMFG.

 

[Bass]

....zomfg.



EDIT: Why did it turn all my capitals into lower case letters?

It does that if all your letters are capitals. You can get away with it by using the code. Use lower case letters like [b*] (without the *) for bold and it'll let you keep all the capitals.

 

[Langsta]

It does that if all your letters are capitals. You can get away with it by using the code. Use lower case letters like [b*] (without the *) for bold and it'll let you keep all the capitals.

Oh, thanks.

Bass, of all your picks, my favorite is probably Zachary Quinto as Zartan. I can't imagine anyone else playing him now.

 

[Ultimate Houde]

I'm in

Post my cast once it is up

 

[Bass]

Oh, thanks.

Bass, of all your picks, my favorite is probably Zachary Quinto as Zartan. I can't imagine anyone else playing him now.

That's exactly how I feel.

 

[Willverine]

I really think you need a more rigidly defined cast.

I mean, the whole point of the game-contest thing is that everyone's Cast-Fighting to do the same characters, and as such, people are fighting to see who is THE ONE who 'gets' the character the way everyone else envisions it, or at least that the sum totality of their cast 'gets' it.

Done. To reiterate my edit to the opening post, you have to cast the first 4 characters from the Joe and Cobra lists, plus Storm Shadow. That should be a bit more 'rigidly defined'.

Also, Bass... that's awesome. I still have some Action Man figures from a visit to the UK several years ago. I had almost forgotten about the UK version of the Joes... great work on that one, though.

I will shorten the round as more posts are made. Just figured 2 weeks would be a good starting off point.

 

[Bass]

Also, Bass... that's awesome. I still have some Action Man figures from a visit to the UK several years ago. I had almost forgotten about the UK version of the Joes... great work on that one, though.

Action Force.

Action Man is some retarded kiddy toy.

Action Force is the 80s toy equivalent of 300 only 5000% more intense.

 

[SSJmole]

Action Force.

Action Man is some retarded kiddy toy.

Action Force is the 80s toy equivalent of 300 only 5000% more intense.

never got in to g.i joe or action man (why i'm not casting this one) but I always thought Action man was better

 

[Dr.Strangefate]

Bass is crazy awesome.