Law & Order: UC Episode 5

Ultimate Houde said:
Nurhachi breathed out, MWoF was starting to fire ProjectX2 now it seemed.
MWoF: YOU TALKING BACK TO ME!
ProjectX2: Get a breath mint
MWoF: YOU'RE FIRED!
ProjectX2: I like your feet.



MWoF: GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!
ProjectX2: Are you being cereal?
MWoF: GET OUT OF MY OFFICE NOW!
ProjectX2: Whatever, if you need me I'll be in my office
MWoF: YOU'RE FIRED!
ProjectX2: Whatever, hey Nur, talk to you later.
Click to expand...



Nur quickly exited the office before MWoF could fire him too, and b-lined it for the phone. MWoF needed to relax, and if anyone needed relaxation, there was one man to call.

DIrishB's Bungalow:

DIrishB: AND GET OUT!

DIrishB kicked Doc Comic in the ***, knocking him out of the bungalow.

DIrishB: Damn freeloaders
Click to expand...
These parts had me rolling
 
I'm just like that in real life.

Or I pretend to be.
 
Four Days Ago

MWoF paced inside his office, HIS OFFICE, not's E's, E was fired now, it was simply his, and no one elses. NO ONE'S! HIS!

He wiped the froth from his mouth.

MWoF steamed, he was looking to fire someone else, but he already fired most of the police force, leaving him with Nurhachi, Ice and Nigma, and that's only because Nigma was in the hospital and Ice was guarding him.

Where did everyone else go? What were they doing?

And that freak Ultimate Gambit was still investigating GMaster's murder.

---

Houde's Apartment

Compound: I cast magic missle
Houde: You can't see anything.
OurChair (From the kitchen): Can I have some Mountain Dew?
ProjectX2: I'm an elf, I have pointy ears
Bass: Famke....I love you so much.
Houde: Compound, there's nothing there.
Compound: I cast magic missile!
Houde: Fine, at what
ProjectX2: Not me I hope
OurChair (from the kitchen): AM I THERE? CAN I HAVE THESE CHEETOS!
Compound: At the darkness

Compound giggles manically.

Houde: Um, okay..the missle lights up the darkness, and you see PRojectX2, who's an elf
ProjectX2: Actually, can I be a dwarf now
Houde: I guess, a dwarf, with green eyes
ProjectX2: I want blue eyes
Bass: Oh Famke....
OurChair (from the kitchen):I want some french onion dip!
Houde: For your cheetos?
OurChair (from the kitchen): It's an Asian thing
ProjectX2: You haven't told Compound I have blue eyes
Compound: I have a thing for blue eyes
OurChair (from the kitchen): Am I with them?
Houde: Compound, he has blue eyes, and no your not with them
OurChair (from the kitchen): I have a dagger of orge slaying
Bass: Famke...
Houde: BASS! WE ALL CAN HEAR YOU IN THE BATHROOM!
Bass: HOUDE SHUT UP, I:M ALMOST DONE!
ProjectX2: I want OurChair's dagger, so I steal it from him
OurChair (from the kitchen): I kill Project
Compound: I reary wike Cheetos
Houde: ENOUGH OF THIS MADNESS!

Houde throws his D&DD materials all over the place

Houde: We need to find who framed E!
Bass: Famke..
Houde: And he needs to get over hmself. That's it, TOMORROW WE ARE FINDING OUT THE TRUTH!
OurChair (from the kitchen): Um dude, you got any ginger?
Houde: I hate you all
Bass: Famke...
 
Three days Ago

Nigma was in the hospital for his blown off toe. VVD and Synch, members of the 82nd precinct's resident SWAT team, were both there,

VVD: You alright man
Nigma: The pain, I need more morphine
VVD: Dude, you got shot in the pinky toe.
Nigma: Just saying it makes the pain hurt more.

A tentative knock on the door was heard.

Synch: It's the damn honkey again.
Nigma: Are you here to gloat? ARE YOU?
Ice: Listen, I read a dictionary and know what honkey means now, and I really think I need to inform you on something, I'm not white.

Crickets are heard

Synch: He fo' real?
VVD: Honkey lover
Ice: I'm not, REALLY!
Nigma: Why, WHY ARE YOU HURTING ME STILL!
Synch: I say we do an old fashion lynching
Ice: Look at me, I'm not white! My real name is Luis!
VVD: Your nickname is ice. Ice is white
Ice: No it isn't, it's clear
Synch: You going against my grandmother now? She told me as a kid ice is white
VVD: You better not be making fun of Synch' Grannie. Honkey.
Ice: Snow is white, ice isn't
Synch: Hold me back or I'm gonna pop his ***
Nigma: Hold on, that sounded gay guys.
VVD: Yea, you gay?
Synch: No, look, the honkey's still here, we should be picking on him
Ice: He's mad cause I said no when he asked me out.
VVD: Honkey lover
Nigma: If you were gay you could have told us so we could properly made fun of you for it.
VVD: Gay loser
Synch: I'm not gay, the honkey is using that to distract you. Look, he's running

Ice was in fact just kinda standing there.

Ice: I am?
Synch: CRAP!
VVD: Gay
Nigma: Gay
Synch: I'M NOT GAY!
Ice: Anyways, Nigma, the date for E's trial is in three days, figured you wanted to know.
Nigma: Whatever, I just can't believe Synch likes to make brownies.
Synch: DAMN HONKEY!
 
that was.....so good it made me :cry: :cry: cuz i was :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: so hard :rockon: :rockon:
 
Hahahahahaha!!!


Houde, you have some magical comedy touch. That's awesome. Hilarious.

Five lol smileys way up!


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
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Skotti walked through the now empty 82nd precinct, carrying two plates of food. She whistled to herself, nimbly stepping over the chalk outline of GMaster's dead body on the floor.

She took a left turn and made her way to the jails of the 82nd precinct. In there, she found two people, a prisoner who made his jail clothes to resemble a skirt and a knotted up tee shirt, with a bandana. And someone who was talking to himself.

Skotti: Dr. Strangefate, Mayor, how are you two doing?
Dr. Strangefate: Very well my dear, what's on the menu today?
Skotti: We have orange duck with garlic mash potatoes, and seasoned steamed asparagus.
Dr. Strangefate: We just had that yesterday
Skotti: Sorry honey, the cook was fired by MWoF.
Baxter: Robin, this girl brings us norishment?
Skotti: He's still delusional, huh?
Dr. Strangefate: Yes, it's quite disgusting.
Baxter: I'm Batman!
Dr. Strangefate: Can't you guys let him out?
Skotti: No, his assassin is still about, somewhere.

A janitor walks behind them, holding a mop.

Janitor: Here to clean up the mess.
Skotti: What mess?

The janitor grabs one of the food plates, and throws it into Baxter's cage.
Baxter: Gadzooks!
Skotti: Um...
Janitor: Unlock the cage missy, I need to clean up the mess.
Dr. Strangefate: Oh no he didn't.

Skotti reaches into her purse, and hands some fingernail polish to Dr. Strangefate.

Skotti: Nice try TGO, Strangefate, get him.

She unlocked the homosexual's cage.

Dr. Strangefate: Come here boy, time for some metrosexualization!
Janitor (a disguised TGO): NO!

Several minutes later, Skotti locked Dr. Strangefate back up, and TGO laid whimpering on the floor.
TGO: The pain...
Skotti: Bother us again, and I'm going to have Dr. Strangefate do more than give you a manicure, got it?
Baxter: Way to show him Robin!
TGO: Oh god, my hands! MY HANDS!

Tgo ran out, clutching his hands as the cherry red fingernail polish hardened.
 
I can't believe I missed that. I love the humor in all this. This rocks harder than Nextwave.






.......................ok well not really....................but it still rocks!!!!



Rock on Houde............rock on.
 
Houde: Um...need a tissue?
BAss: Seriously, I was setting atmosphere!
Houde: For what? A whack off session? It's not even 6:20 yet, hell, it ain't even NOON!
Bass: DUDE! For our private investigation buisness. We need to set the atmosphere.
Click to expand...


You used it..........

I love you.




I'm all caught up now. It rocks. A lot. I like the smaller chapters. MY HANDS!

I once painted my fingernails pink when I was at a friend's house. Than I had no nailpolish remover and had it for days.
 
Thanks guys, and for bearing with me as I make this complete and utter nonsense of a fanfic come to it's inevitable close.

And so far no one has made any progress in investigating the case against E

I love that fact,
 
Ultimate Houde said:
And so far no one has made any progress in investigating the case against E
Click to expand...

Is it because posts---errr...uh...I mean evidence....yeah....evidence, keep disappearing? :lol:
 
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Houde and Bass entered the now empty 82nd precinct, in time to see a janitor run out cluthcing his hand.

TGO: THE PAIN!

Bass and Houde watch him run off.

Bass: Well, should we start tying this thing up?
Houde: I think so. We need a look into E's Office first.
Bass: So we need to get MWof out of it.
Houde: That, That could be hard.

The two cops walked towards the office.

~~~

Ultimate Gambit paced his room.

He was close to figuring out who did this whole thing, who set up E, who framed him for murder, and why E wasn't telling anyone anything.

Just then his roomate came home, Ultimate Bigby.

UG: Hey Big, what's up?
UB: Well, simply plotting the demise of the 82nd precinct.
UG: Okay.

Ultimate Gambit went back to trying to tfigure out what was going on, and who would try to plot the demise of the 82nd precinct.

~~~

Houde and Bass stared at the cloud of smoke that drifted out of the office. Skotti walked up to them.
Houde: What you been doing?
Skotti: Feeding the prisoners.
Bass: Guys, where was the bullet wound on GMaster?

An old sargent walked up.

ProjectX2: It was in his left temple.
Bass: Which means it came from a different direction than what was origanlly intended. For E to have shot GMaster there...
Houde: He would had to have been on the other side of his desk, but he wasn't, he didn't even move...
Skotti: Which means the bullet came from a different direction, there was a second shooter...
ProjectX2: From that direction over there.

The all turned around and looked at the picture of a grassy knoll. Sure enough, there was scorch marks on the wall.

Houde: A second shooter....

From the cloud of smoke emerged three individuals, Nurhachi, MWoF and DrishB.

Nurhachi: Calm down the boss guys.
MWoF: I needed that weed man...
DIrishB: I do what I can, and I am show up where I am needed, for I am, the DIRISHB!

Everyone wasn't paying attention to DIrishB as they shook the hands of MWoF welcoming him back to the world of the sane.

DIrishB: I HATE YOU ALL!
 
Ultimate Houde said:
The all turned around and looked at the picture of a grassy knoll. Sure enough, there was scorch marks on the wall.

Houde: A second shooter....
Click to expand...
That had me rolling
 
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