New Marvel Universe

Goodwill

Well-Known Member
New Marvel Universe #1
No Side Other Than His Own


Weapon X Facility
Undisclosed Location


Doctor Abraham Cornelius approached, he could smell him. There was someone else, though, that he could not identify. The stranger stunk, that was for sure.

“Logan, I’d like you to meet someone.” Cornelius said.

“Thought I wasn’t allowed visitors, Doctor.”

Cornelius made a gesture over to the man beside him. Logan glared at him from inside his glass cell.

“I’d like you to meet Colonel Nicholas Fury, Logan. He’s with SHIELD.”
“Good to meet you.” Fury said. He was cold, Logan noticed.

“Pleasure.” Logan neglected to look in Fury’s direction, he seemed preoccupied with the ceiling tiles.

“Your doctor has told me about your condition. If you’re interested, I’d like to offer you some work.”

“’Work’, huh?” Logan said. “You better ask Creed. He’s the crazy one.”

“You must not understand, Mr. Logan. Creed’s condition differs from yours. I--”

“The answer’s no.”

“We pay well, though, Mr. Logan. Would you reconsider?”

“I told ya – ask Creed. He’ll do anything for a paycheck. Guy would prob’ly do anything for a damn tenderloin.”

“Mr. Logan, I can provide things far more valuable than money.”

“Yea? Like what?”

“The truth.”

Logan’s eyes locked on his guest.

* * *

Atlantic Ocean
En Route to Undisclosed Location


Within the hour, Logan was discharged from the ‘medical facility’ that he had been held captive in for as long as he could remember. That wasn’t saying much, though. He and Nick Fury boarded a helicopter piloted by two Joes. Logan first spoke when he first noticed they were flying above the Atlantic.

“So?” Logan said. His attitude had not changed towards Fury.

“So what?” Fury replied.

“Mind tellin’ me where we’re going?”

“Can’t.”

To say that Logan was agitated would have been an understatement.

“What do you mean, you can’t?”

“SHIELD is a highly secretive organization. People know we exist, not what we do. There are things that I can tell you and things that I can’t, understand?” Fury said.

“Well, what can you tell me?”

“Where we are going there’s a person that SHIELD considers highly dangerous. I need you to take care of him for me.”

“You sprung me outta jail for a hit?” Logan fumed. “You could’ve asked anyone.”

“Actually, I couldn’t have. Our man’s a telepath, a powerful one at that. I’d put a bullet in him myself if I thought I could without him knowing.” Fury patted the pistol hanging from his waist.

“Why not put another telepath up for the task? Couldn’t they just, I dunno, ‘block’ him?”
“We don’t trust them, frankly. Besides, we have you – the one man no telepath can read.”

“What?” Logan didn’t understand.

“I understand that you don’t remember a lot of your years spent at that place, that you had to be briefed on what happened in more than fifteen years’ time. During that time, your mind was tampered with. As you can probably tell you don’t remember much from before and during those fifteen years.”

“Who would ever want to do that? Take a man’s memories?”

Logan was beside himself, staring out the window, longingly. Where had his life gone?
“Well, for one,” Fury said. “I would.”

“You--”

SNIKT! Thoughtless, Logan shot up from his seat and unsheathed his claws. He pointed them towards Fury, eye level, watching him; if he so much as flinched…
Fury, of course, did not flinch.

“I had a reason!” He thought, then corrected himself, “Have a reason, now would you calm down? When super powers were first introduced into this world, we panicked. SHIELD panicked. We threw money at our problems, opening up all sorts of ways to keep these super powered people under control, like Weapon X, for instance. One of the things we started to do was utilize some of these people. ‘If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em’, right?”
Logan gripped Fury’s collar and pulled him closer to his lethal claws.

“Make a point. Before I do.”

“Your healing ability…” Fury stared at the three knife-like points, only millimeters away from his nose. “Your claws. The only thing keeping you from being the perfect soldier was your personal investment, your emotion. We wanted your mind to be clear so that we could have you act without a conscience--”

“Well, you can die knowing you were successful!” Logan put his claws against Fury’s neck, ready to plunge them inside.

“Wait!” Fury gasped. “You kill me, and you’ll never see your wife and kid again!”

Logan freed Fury from his grasp. His claws returned between his knuckles. He was stunned – his question was no longer where his life had gone, but how much of it had gone. A wife? A kid? How come he couldn’t remember?

“You can tell me where they are?”

Suddenly, it was vital for Logan to know everything. If it meant keeping Fury alive, so be it.

“I’ve got a file an inch thick about you. I can tell you everything.”

“Colonel Fury. We’ve found a safe place to land. We’ll begin our descent momentarily.” The pilot said, gradually rearing the helicopter in a downward spiral motion.

“The man I’m killing, what’s his name?” Logan asked.

“Is it important for you to know?”

“Yes.”

“His name’s Charles Xavier and he’s a terrorist.”


* * *

Undisclosed Location

Logan was dropped into a remote jungle. He was given a square of fabric that Fury said had Xavier’s scent on it and a satellite phone to notify Fury when the deed was done. With Logan’s heightened senses, he could easily locate him, even in the lush forest maze he now found himself in. It was an easy enough assignment – one man’s life for Logan’s life in exchange.

It wasn’t long before Logan found someone, or rather; it wasn’t long until someone found him.

In another clearing, Logan stood parallel to another man. He was lean and entirely bald. He did not seem alarmed by Logan.

SNIKT! Logan’s claws shot from the grooves between his knuckles. He didn’t think it would be this easy.

“Please, I just want to--”

“Shut up!” Logan snarled. He began to charge. “You don’t get to talk!”

“Who sent you? Was it Fury?” Xavier asked.

Logan slowed his pace and began circling skeptically. How’d he know if he couldn’t read his mind? He didn’t understand. Could this be a set up?

“You work for a man like him; you might as well have sold your soul to the devil.”

“I said shut up!”

Logan planted his feet and lunged towards Xavier. In the midst of his jump he was brought to a jarring stop – it was Xavier’s doing.

“It’s true, what he told you,” Xavier said calmly, watching Logan flail around trying to free himself. “I can’t read your mind.”

“Then…” Logan struggled. “How did you know?”

“You can’t exactly be discreet landing a helicopter on a nearly deserted island. That and Fury got a little too close to me. I may not be able to read your mind, but I can most certainly read his. Didn’t he tell you I am the strongest known telepath?”

Fury should’ve known that, Logan thought.

“So what now?” Logan asked. He’d been found out, what else could he do? His life was in Xavier’s hands now, an alleged terrorist’s hands.

I’ll leave that up to you,” Xavier said. “You can be part of the problem, or you can be part of the solution. Fury wants me dead because I’m different, because he can’t control me. He’ll start a war if he’s ever successful.”

“And what makes you so important?”

“It’s not who I am, but what I am,” Charles said. “No one knows why or how, but super powered people – mutants, they call us – popped up. This changed everything from politics to religion. This makes us a threat to what makes people comfortable. Eventually, people will get their pitch forks and torches out and hunt us down. Fury and SHIELD think they can do this behind the scenes, without startling anyone. But, as you can see,” Xavier said with a smirk on his face. “They’re not doing such a good job.”

“So, you’re saying it’s us or them, huh?”

“Not saying that’s what I want, but what it will be.”

“It’s why you’re hiding,” Logan said. “You’re a prepared one.”

“In more ways than you’ll know,” Xavier replied. He paused and added, “And what about yourself? What will you do?”

With that, Logan was freed from Xavier’s telekinetic paralysis and he subsequently crashed to the ground. Logan looked up at Xavier, agitated.

“Well?” Charles persisted.

Logan was given this choice; Xavier could’ve killed him instantaneously. He could not trust either Fury or Xavier. After little consideration, Logan implemented the first plan that came to mind.

He reached for the sat phone Fury gave him. Logan glared at the still living Xavier and said, “Go hide,” before his call went through.

Charles did not reply and began back into the jungle.

“Fury?” Logan asked into the phone when he was through. “Yea, deed’s done. He’s dead. Come get me.”

Logan had spent more than fifteen years of his life caged in the Weapon X facility and on the day that Fury granted him freedom, he was sure he’d only be caged again. Now, after only a few hours of being free, he was making sure he’d never have to answer to anyone else but himself. Xavier predicted a war and Logan was sure that he’d be a part of it, but he’d choose no side.

No side other than his own.
 

SeAcoW

Well-Known Member
that was a cool, wellwritten story. I like how you took something familiar and made it your own. Is it going to be a series only about Logan or an entire universe?
 

Zombipanda

My Boom-Boom's mostly gay
I left some notes in red. Some are tidy grammar or punctuation corrections. The rest are random comments. Sorry, dude. I'm medicated.

Goodwill said:
New Marvel Universe #1
No Side Other Than His Own


Weapon X Facility
Undisclosed Location
I feel like this kind of thing works well in film and comics, but tends to fall flat on the written page. I think it distances the reader from the story. Maybe it's just personal presence, but considering we don't have any major identifiers as to the setting in the actual text, this space could be well used evoking the scene.

Doctor Abraham Cornelius approached; he could smell him. There was someone else, though,"Though" doesn't really need to be there that he could not identify. The stranger stunk, that was for sure. Stunk like what? What identifiers are there to his smell that can give the reader a sense of the character?

“Logan, I’d like you to meet someone.” Cornelius said.

“Thought I wasn’t allowed visitors, Doctor.”

Cornelius made a gesture over to the man beside him. [Color="Red]Gestured how?[/COLOR] Logan glared at him from inside his glass cell.[COLOR="Red"]"Glared" is rather vague. When he glowers, what does his face look like? How does he posture himself? This is an animal of a man. How do his movements speak for him?[/COLOR]

“I’d like you to meet Colonel Nicholas Fury, Logan. He’s with SHIELD.”
“Good to meet you.” Fury said. He was cold, Logan noticed.What about him was cold? What tipped Logan off to his coldness? Further, why do we need Wolverine as a proxy? The reader should feel the chills.

“Pleasure.” Logan neglected to look in Fury’s direction. he seemed preoccupied with the ceiling tiles.

“Your doctor has told me about your condition. If you’re interested, I’d like to offer you some work.”

“’Work’, huh?” Logan said. “You better ask Creed. He’s the crazy one.”

“You must not understand, Mr. Logan. Creed’s condition differs from yours. I--”

“The answer’s no.”

“We pay well, though, Cut all the thoughs. Seriously. Mr. Logan. Would you reconsider?”

“I told ya – ask Creed. He’ll do anything for a paycheck. Guy would prob’ly do anything for a damn tenderloin.”

“Mr. Logan, I can provide things far more valuable than money.”

“Yea? Like what?”

“The truth.”

Logan’s eyes locked on his guest.

My problem with the section is that it's so bereft of details that it's hard to get into. We know nothing of the setting. The language is somewhat sterile. I can see you loosening Logan's voice towards the end, but out of nowhere, it doesn't really grasp on. Voices take a while to build, but it's maybe something you want to come back to further down the road. But right now I feel like the characters could be interchangable. I understand what you're going for here. Weapon X is a top secret facility. Everything is secret. There is no access to information. But you need to give the reader scraps, morsels to make them want to pull along. It can't just be, "I've got a job for you." "Oh yeah? What is it?" "S'a secret!" "Well what's it pay?" "That's secret too!" "Dude...." "Alright. I'll give you a hint. It pays in secrets!" "Oh boy! Where do I sign up!?" I understand that the next scene divulges more about the details, but that essentially makes this scene moot. This scene needs to reveal something essential otherwise it can be scrapped and the few necessary bits folded into the following scene. All I'm saying is conserve your paragraphs.

Man, I must seem like such a pretentious prick, huh? I'm sorry dude.
 
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Goodwill

Well-Known Member
I'm going to put the second one up sometime this week, as soon as tomorrow but no later than Friday.
 

Goodwill

Well-Known Member
Hey, for those of you guys who are interested...

I know I promised another issue a couple weeks ago, but my personal computer hasn't been able to connect to the internet (for whatever reason)... But come Sunday I'll be up at school so I'll be able to give you guys issue #2.

What I can tell you is that I have come up with a lot of cool things that I hope you guys will like. It'll branch out further than Wolverine, Fury and Xavier... Oh, boy, will it! Anyway, stay tuned!
 

Goodwill

Well-Known Member
New Marvel Universe #2
Guilty Consciences

Undisclosed Location

Charles Xavier broke into a cold sweat, but who could blame him? A moment ago, he was literally feet away from being brutally murdered. Fury had sent an animal after him.

Remarkably, he had been spared and now, Charles vowed to make Fury regret what he did. Charles would’ve admitted he was scared, but he would’ve never admitted Nick Fury was to blame. The two of them had a colorful history.

Once he was completely safe, he stole off into the jungle. It wasn’t far until he reached his camp. The bonfire from the night before was still in the process of dying. He looked around, hurriedly.

“Charles--?” A voice called from behind him.

He turned around. It was Hank McCoy, an old friend of his.

“Is there something wrong?” McCoy asked, concerned.

“Fury sent someone to kill me,” Charles said. Saying it aloud made him feel a little more at ease. He was still alive, after all.

“But--”

“The guy Fury sent, I couldn’t read his mind. Couldn’t tamper with his mind,” Xavier muttered. “But I did see what kind of a man he was.”

“And what kind of man was that?” Hank asked.

“Convincible,” Xavier said. “It didn’t seem like he was very loyal to Fury at all. He’s getting sloppy.”

“He’s panicking, is what he’s doing,” Hank deducted from what he’d heard from Charles.

“This cat and mouse game’s going to have to stop soon.”

“I agree,” Xavier said.

“So, what’re you going to do?” Hank asked. It was a pretty reasonable question at that
point.

“I don’t know he found me, but I do have some ideas. What I need to do is go somewhere he can’t find me. As in, no matter what.”

“Do you have somewhere in mind?”

“Yes,” Xavier said. “Get your things. We’re headed to Muir Island.”


Elsewhere

“Where are we, Fury?” Logan asked. He was walked down a glass corridor where there were lush, tropical trees for as far as he could see on the other side. “Or can you at least tell me what we’re doing here?”

Fury, accompanied by his head of security, Sharon Carter, replied, “We’re here to test your innocence. Did you really kill Charles Xavier?”

Logan was unmoved. “How are we going to do that?”

“Cerebro,” Fury said. “The smartest computer on the planet.”


* * *

Muir Island, Scotland

Moira MacTaggert was the head of the medical center on Muir Island, a place where ailing mutants amassed for treatment. She’d been the one to keep the Scottish government from occupying the facility as well as the person who headed up the genetic research going on. MacTaggert was a pioneer in mutant treatment and study and therefore was well known around the world.

Currently, Moira was treating a patient named Jonathan Starsmore. He was a patient with tourettes syndrome – his uncontrollable spasms often times triggered his ability to generate explosions from his mouth. MacTaggert was forced to treat him from behind reinforced glass. He was considered highly dangerous, but treatable. At least, MacTaggert was optimistic.

“Jon,” MacTaggert said into a microphone that ran to speakers in the reinforced glass room. “I need you to take a deep breath and walk from where you’re standing to the mark on the floor. Can you do that for me?”

He nodded sheepishly. During his walk to the other side of the room, his head would jerk slightly to his left. Moira could see him hiccup smoke from his mouth, but she was glad to see it didn’t happen as frequently as before.

“He’s getting better,” a voice said from behind her.

Moira jumped – she thought she’d heard a ghost. She turned to see who was there – it was Charles Xavier.

Elsewhere

“Cerebro,” Nick Fury said. “works simple enough.” The long corridor he, Logan, and Sharon Carter walked went on forever so he had ample time to explain. “Charles Xavier designed Cerebro to locate mutants throughout the world. He was a pioneer – while he wasn’t able to design a computer that would locate all mutants, he did design one that located most telepaths, just like himself.”

Logan smiled. “Ah, I get it. If baldy shows up on the computer--”

“I’ll be finding out how to kill the unkillable,” Fury said gravely.

There was a person walking towards them now, a woman.
Fury smiled at her.

The woman returned his look with a grin. Her eyes flickered an alluring amber color and said, “Welcome to Genosha, Colonel Fury.”


Muir Island, Scotland

She jumped back. “Charles?” What are you doing here? You’re, you’re--”

“Relax, Moira,” Xavier said, soothing her.

She straightened up, but still seemed startled. “You’re not supposed to be here. I told you not to come back!”

“Moira, I’m in some trouble,” Charles pleaded. “I need your help.”

Moira sighed. “In trouble? For what?” As she spoke, she became more indignant -- it was not like her. “What is it this time, Charles? Did you ‘commandeer’ another jet? Set fire to another SHIELD building?”

“Moira, there’s no time for this. Now, where is he?”


* * *

Simon Lee was a patient on Muir Island. His condition was less severe than that of Jonathan Starsmore and, often times his condition actually benefited Dr. MacTaggert. He had the ability to negate another person’s unique ability. Because of this, when he felt up for it, he’d sometimes help to treat some of the patients that had more dangerous abilities. He was on Muir Island, though, because of his physical mutation that required him to be in a wheel chair. No medical treatment center would take him.

So, being in his proximity, Charles was able to hide from Fury. Once again, he was safe.

On the walk to Lee’s room, Xavier explained his situation to Moira.

“The way I see it,” he said after telling her that Fury had sent someone to kill him. “is that there’s only one way he could’ve found me – Cerebro.”

“How could he have gotten that kind of technology? He’s the director of SHIELD,
but I don’t think anyone besides you has access to something like that.”

Charles paused and then, gravely, he added, “There’s only one other person besides
me that has access to it.”

Moira entire body shuddered. “You don’t mean--”


Genosha

The woman’s name was Raven Darkholme. In Genosha, she served on a committee that influenced the prime minister, Erik Lehnsherr. She guided Fury, Logan and Sharon Carter towards the war room in Genosha’s capital building, where Cerebro was kept.

Darkholme swung the doors opened and there stood Lehnsherr. He was a brooding figure – as brutal looking as he was old.

“Colonel,” He muttered.

“Prime Minister,” Fury spoke. Logan could sense the fear in his tone. “This is Sharon
Carter and Logan--”

“Ms. Darkholme can humor Agent Carter while we do busy,” Lehnsherr stipulated.

“Very well.”

The women left together and the men drew closer to the large monitor. Lehnsherr operated the computer while Fury and Logan watched. It was a tense moment for Logan, but he did his best not to show it. A man as prepared as Xavier surely had a way to hide from a machine…

“Alright,” Lehnsherr said. The monitor was full of red points, all of varying
brightness. They filled in a map of the world. Most were found in Genosha, but more were scattered across the globe. Logan was shocked by the numbers. “His power signal was last docked around here,” Lehnsherr spoke aloud as he typed in numbers. “And…” He waited for the machine to respond to his demand. “He’s not coming up. Your assassin has blood on his hands.”

“Congratulations, Logan,” Fury said.

Logan only nodded in acknowledgement. He had missed the guillotine blade, but it would not be the only time it fell. In order to continue to undermine Fury, Logan would have to be more careful.

“Alright,” Lehnsherr said. “Now, Fury, I trust you’re keeping up your end of the bargain?”

Fury glared at him and nodded.

Logan took note of the exchange and wondered what it could have meant.

“Good,” Lehnsherr said. “Very good.”
 
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Goodwill

Well-Known Member
Well, there will be more as long as I get reviews, I guess... I have a lot outlined right now, I just need to write it all out. I'm a faster writer than Damon Lindelof, though. That's saying something, right?
 

Goodwill

Well-Known Member
Since Zombi called me out here...

I give you a preview of issue #3. It hasn't been titled yet.

There was a knock on the door.
“You gonna get that?”
“They can wait,” Fury said. “Aren’t you interested in finding out about yourself?”
“I figured you for a guy that’d choose his business over his word.”
“Nothing is more important to me than my word, Logan. Remember that. Now,” Fury said, flipping through the dense file that sat in his lap. “Where do I begin?”
There was another knock on the door.
“One minute,” Hollered Fury. His attention remained on the file. He was being careful not to reveal too much to Logan. “Getting rid of Charles Xavier was no easy task, I know, but you were successful. Well done.” Fury pulled a sheet from Logan’s file and began to hand it to him. “For now, this is what I can give you.”
“What is it?”
“It’s a copy of a lease you and your wife signed more than fifteen years ago,” Fury said. “You lived in Madripoor. You’ve heard of it from your briefing, I’m sure.”
Logan nodded. “So, you don’t even know if she’s alive?”
“No,” Fury said emotionless. “I’ll give you two weeks to find out for yourself, though.”
“Then what?” asked Logan.
“I expect you back here. I’ll find more work for you to do.” Fury stood to get the door. A woman with long red hair stood at the door. “Logan, you remember Sharon Carter.” Logan nodded at the woman. “She’ll be going with you to find your family.”
Logan’s contempt for Fury swelled in his chest. He’d hold back his claws, but not his mouth. “A babysitter? Thought you said I was free, Fury.”
Fury smiled subtly towards Drew who stood there emotionless. “I need to keep you on a leash, Logan. Would you rather I put you back in that prison? You wanna go back to Weapon X?”
Logan got to his feet and walked past both Fury and Carter. “Let’s get going, Ginger. We don’t have a lot of time.” He left the room.
“That’s right,” Fury said. “Two weeks, Logan.”
Carter followed Logan, but Fury was quick to prevent her from leaving without saying something to her. “You do whatever you need to do to make sure he stays in line, understood?”
She nodded.
 

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