Ourchair, Frustrated Hollywood Producer

ourchair

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Considering how many posts I've made over the sites history about hypothetical TV and movie projects, I've decided to make a thread dedicated to random Hollywood ideas I've made up.

I'll re-post some of the older ones in here at a later date, but for now here's the West Coast Avengers made into a goofy adventure-comedy that hardcore Avengers fans will hate!

For this film, it will take the title of Force Works. I think it's the best name to use, because as a title it would reflect the tongue-wagging attitude towards the notion that 'might makes right' that this film represents. Might makes right and that's why force works!!!

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When smarmy industrialist Anthony Stark (played by Christopher McDonald of Quiz Show and Happy Gilmore) is faced with increasing public criticism of the damage that Stark International has wrought upon developing nations, he decides to assemble a group of publicity-hungry individuals as Earth's Mightiest Humanitarians.

Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye - was an Olympic archer who was banned from the professional archery leagues when it was discovered that he was using performance enhancement drugs. He spent many years in and out of rehab, but subsequently emerged a changed man doing the leadership seminar circuit. There he preaches the notion of 'fair play' and 'maintaining clear sight'. Clint Barton is played by Martin Henderson of Torque and Flyboys.

Hercules Theophilus, aka Hercules - is a former bodybuilder who became a New Age enlightenment guru after entering into a long period of soul-searching induced by a heart attack. Now he uses his great strength to show people how healthy living is possible with sustainable agriculture and an Earth-friendly lifestyle. Hercules is played by Patrick Warburton of TV's The Tick.

Henry Pym, aka Yellowjacket - is a long-haired hippy professor with a Timothy Leary-like view of the world. He advocates the use of psychotropic substances to expand consciousness. He achieved even greater infamy when he developed a special cocktail that allows him to change his size. He perceives this ability as a metaphorical call for humanity to gain 'perspective' on its relationship to the universe. Pym is played by John C. McGinley of TV's Scrubs.

Simon Williams, aka Wonder Man - the self-named 8th Wonder of the World, Simon Williams is the star of over 20 reality programs. He was once a real-life failure, but on TV he has survived deserted islands, has apprenticed to every business mogul and proven that fear is no factor. He now wears numerous preconsumer devices that allow him to fly, shoot laser beams from his eyes and lift great weights. Wonder Man is played by Bruce Campbell of Evil Dead fame, and TV's The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr..

Sarah Holden, aka Sersi - was an anthropologist with a tough as nails party girl attitude, but a few years ago on an excavation in Mesopotamia, she lost her husband, archaeologist Samuel Holden, to circumstances unknown. She emerged with vaguely psionic abilities and a newfound belief in cultural preservation and the sanctity of all races. Now she uses her powers to stage small battles to preserve fringe civilzations and cultures. Sersi is played by Michelle Forbes of TV's Battlestar Galactica.

Daryl Holiday, aka Rage - was an action superstar with widely documented anger management problems that earned him his nickname. But after being convicted of manslaughter, he spent some time in prison and found enlightenment when a cellmate converted him to Islam. Now he follows the way of pacifism, he sports his moniker with irony and is determined to prove that even the ways of peace can be angry. Rage is played by Kirk "Sticky Fingaz" Jones of TV's Blade.

07-forceworks.jpg

From left to right: Henderson, Warburton, McGinley, Campbell, Forbes and Jones.

Each member is eager to rebrand himself as a bleeding heart altruist with extraordinary abilities, determined to right what industrialization has done wrong, and look good for the cameras too! They are FORCE WORKS!. Made up of six individuals who are no stranger to the media spotlight and every bit eager to use it in support of their new enlightenment. Will they let their reacquired fame get to their heads, or will they really become heroes in time to make a difference?
 
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Bass

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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

This thread is headed for the museum...

I love the Force Works pitch. Ourchair; the casting is superb. I'd see the film just for that. If I were Hollywood, I'd give you some money.

For those suicide girls.

And then some more to make this film.
 
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Random

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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

This thread is headed for the museum...

I love the Force Works pitch. Ourchair, if I were Hollywood, I'd give you some money.

For those suicide girls.

And then some more to make this film.

Definitely Ourchair has the best pitches for superhero movies, I love his Namor idea
 

ourchair

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Thank you for all the kind praises. :oops: <- I blush!

I made this when I should have been finishing my casting call for Dreamcasting Round Two, when I found it was easier (and more fun) to cast Avengers other than Cap and Thor... especially in a light-hearted action comedy context.

Never thought it before... but Pym played by Dr Cox is an awesome piece of casting...
I've never seen Scrubs actually. I've seen McGinley in other films, but one influencing factor was the fact that he played shrinking nanotechnology expert Ray Palmer aka The Atom on Justice League Unlimited. :lol:

Dr.Strangefate said:
Bruce Campbell playing Wonder Man is Brilliant!
I want his motto to be, "If you just stop and wonder, you can accomplish anything!" Imagine Campbell delivering that line with his patented brand of manly gusto.

Bass said:
If I were Hollywood, I'd give you some money.

For those suicide girls.
Why use it on Suicide Girls when I can use that money on a lapdance from Michelle Forbes?
 
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Bass

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I want his motto to be, "If you just stop and wonder, you can accomplish anything!" Imagine Campbell delivering that line with his patented brand of manly gusto.

Why use it on Suicide Girls when I can use that money on a lapdance from Michelle Forbes?

No, the money was for you to get me the Suicide Girls. But now I want a lapdance.

Regardless - the Wonder Man motto would make everyone happy, and maybe even stop some wars.
 

ourchair

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No, the money was for you to get me the Suicide Girls. But now I want a lapdance.
From Michelle Forbes? :)

Michelle Forbes as Miranda Zero in Global Frequency pilot = HOTness.

I'd bet good money that if that series was picked up, a season or two later and she would have landed a cover on Maxim or FHM. Even though she's 42.
 

Hibiki

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No, the money was for you to get me the Suicide Girls. But now I want a lapdance.

Regardless - the Wonder Man motto would make everyone happy, and maybe even stop some wars.

I love suicide girls. but for another time.
 

Grocer Man

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I admit, since this is Ourchair, I was thinking there was a word missing before the "frustrated" in the title.

But these are some very nice ideas.
 

ourchair

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Okay, I'm trying to develop a pitch right now that is a pastiche of Watchmen and road films, but it's really slow going. It's either that or a TV series using characters from Malibu comics. But here's a snippet of something else I posted elsewhere. A friend of mine who is a lit major created an lj-meme for hypothetical movie pitches. Here was my response:

On a stormy night, an elderly woman is asked to re-evaluate the properties of the Tolkien estate. Played by Angela Lansbury, she discovers a dusty old pile of notes belonging to good old J.R.R., most of which detail his thoughts, ideas and plans both used and unused for his Middle Earth stories.

In a Neverending Story like twist of magic, she is transported into this unfinished 'narrative space' version of Middle Earth where climaxes happen without denouments, reconciliations without conflicts, settings without characters.

Her journey to understand how authors fabricate their narrative space becomes a meditative phenomenology of what makes a fantasy universe. Of how authors make heroes, and heroes make authors, and how problems become resolutions. The movie would be called Mordor, She Wrote.

More short pitches to come.
 
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ourchair

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Okay, I'm going to start cross-posting some of the pitches I've made into this thread. Here's my pitch for Green Lantern, from the Green Lantern Movie thread:
On the planet Earth, the police are referred to as the 'finest' of whatever city they happen to be --- New York's Finest, Chicago's Finest, etc. The Green Lantern movie should be about a legendary intergalactic super-precinct featuring The Galaxy's Finest.

The Galaxy's Finest are respected for being the force of order, the organization that seeks to make finer worlds --- all without answering to a higher authority (other than the relatively hands off guidance of the Guardians).

Unfortunately this lack of accountability has made them grow a little arrogant, snobbish and self-important. The Galaxy's Finest have let being the 'best of the best' turn them into elitists who look down on the non-chosen.

Enter John Stewart. A human, chosen by the great Abin Sur.

A HUMAN. Can you imagine how absurd that is to the Green Lantern Corps?

A HUMAN. From Earth.

Did you know that 99.9% of Earthlings never leave their home planet?

Did you know they still have 'countries' on that planet?

To the Green Lantern Corps, Earth is the redneck armpit of the galaxy.

This is where the story of The Green Lantern movie begins.

It's where one of the greatest Green Lanterns, Abin Sur, is a history professor, and one with the vision to pass it to some 'mere' human.

It's where this 'redneck' may not know from an 'enlightened intergalactic perspective' but he certainly has an instinctive sense of right and wrong.

It's where this damn ROOKIE, who hails from the most backward planet in the galaxy reminds these elitists of the values they have lost touch with.

It's how the small-town kid becomes the greatest freaking cop in the universe.
 
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Random

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You've made this pitch before haven't you? It interesting and good but doesn't quite click with me
 

ourchair

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You've made this pitch before haven't you? It interesting and good but doesn't quite click with me
I have. Which is why I said I'm cross-posting. I'm taking the scattered pitches on the board and copying them here.

I'm still proudest of my Force Works pitch though. :p
 

Bass

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That is the bestest take on GL I've seen.

Especially the "99.9% of humans don't leave their planet." That's ****ing brilliant.
 
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