The Greatest Invention in the History of Evar. EVAR.

E

Moderator
Excelsior Club
Many of you have been eagerly anticipating my review of what I expected to be...nay, what could only be...the greatest invention ever.

Today it arrived.

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Egg McMuffins, for the record, are the closest thing to edible food currently offered by McDonald's. Back before they were cooked with microwaves :sick: they were a perfect harmony of egg, muffin, cheese, and ham. Heaven on earth.

But alas, those days are long gone, and it takes extreme hunger to be able to consume one now. A perfect product, bastardized by today's fast food society. It's a sad tale.

That is, until now.

May the Lord shower his blessings on Houde, who happened upon the item almost by accident, and posted a picture of it on this very site. It was as if fate knew my predicament - how to eat a satisfying breakfast while on the run? Now that Egg McMuffins had been ruined, what hope was there? Granola bars, Pop Tarts, Peanut Butter Crackers...nothing - NOTHING - could take it's place.

Immediately upon seeing Houde's post, I knew that my life would be changed forever. I knew that this was the answer to all of my hopes and dreams. I ordered one from the UC store immedately, and waited all weekend for the package to arrive, courtesy free 2-day shipping.

I came home and found the box outside the garage. I carefully picked it up, brought it inside, and opened it.

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I opened the package, savoring each second until I would be able to do the previously unthinkable - create my own egg and muffin sandwich.

I will be totally honest and say that I did not read the instructions carefully. How could I? How could a mere mortal suffer any moment longer in waiting or a delicious homemade egg & muffin sandwich?

But that, my friends, is the beauty of this product. A 5 step quick start guide told me all I needed to know. I poured 2 tablespoons of water into the poaching tray, cracked an egg and put it in the mini skillet, placed the english muffins in the toaster, pressed the button, selected the desired darkness of the muffins, and let it go.

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The results were nothing short of spectacular.

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I did not bother cooking ham with it. It simply wasn't needed.

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My life has been changed forever. I have never experienced an invention of this magnitude. What genius created this monumental contraption? Think of it people - a machine that cooks...simultaneously, I might add...a poached egg and two english muffin halves -- and then, amazingly, finishes them at the same time. The muffins stay warm. The egg, cooked to perfection, remains hot.

All of this for a mere $30 for the device.

The ingredients? An english muffin, slice of cheese, and 1 egg. Pennies.

Crisp, hot and delicious. Compare it to the $3 droopy, soggy Egg McMuffin found at McDonalds. You can't. There is no comparison.

Technology, my friends, is a wonderful thing.
 

Joe Kalicki

Well-Known Member
The chance that someone might have spit in your food makes Egg McMuffins better than anything you could make in your own home.

Unless you get your wife to start making them for you, this can't be better than what McDonalds offers.
 

E

Moderator
Excelsior Club
The chance that someone might have spit in your food makes Egg McMuffins better than anything you could make in your own home.

Unless you get your wife to start making them for you, this can't be better than what McDonalds offers.

BURN THE HERETIC.
 

Jaggyd

The member formerly known as skotti-chan
Have one!!!


I use it...every friggen day!!!

Muffin + egg + cheese + sausage patty = epix win!!
 

SSJmole

Face-Punching As Foreign Policy
skotti had one first! Your all just copying her :lol:






if they were out here i would get one
 

moonmaster

Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
Indeed. Now that Egg McMuffin technology has reached the limit of Kroc's law, it has overloaded itself.

The only solution is the mythic but as of yet unrealized concept of the "Quantum McMuffin".
 

E

Moderator
Excelsior Club
Have one!!!


I use it...every friggen day!!!

Muffin + egg + cheese + sausage patty = epix win!!

*Intarweb high 5!*

Awesome! Where do you put the ham or sausage?

That's what she said.

Post of the Day.

The whole of human history has reached its climax.

That's exactly how I feel.

Indeed. Now that Egg McMuffin technology has reached the limit of Kroc's law, it has overloaded itself.

The only solution is the mythic but as of yet unrealized concept of the "Quantum McMuffin".

Please, PLEASE do not sully the good name of this device by calling the end product an "Egg McMuffin". They most certainly are not Egg McMuffins.

-50,000 moonmaster points.
 

moonmaster

Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
Please, PLEASE do not sully the good name of this device by calling the end product an "Egg McMuffin". They most certainly are not Egg McMuffins.

-50,000 moonmaster points.
Silly E, only I can take Moonmaster Points.

-100,000 Moonmaster Points.

Also -200,000 for that one time you looked at me funny. You know what I'm talking about!
 

E

Moderator
Excelsior Club
Silly E, only I can take Moonmaster Points.

-100,000 Moonmaster Points.

Also -200,000 for that one time you looked at me funny. You know what I'm talking about!

You had broken into my house and were standing in my kitchen, nude except for a Superman logo headband, eating an Egg & Muffin you had just made in my new Egg & Muffin maker.

What did you expect?
 

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