The Noah Bennet Thread

[Hellsbuttmonkey]

He deserves his own thread.

Noah Bennet, International Man of Awesome.

This man, dare I say, is as awesome as the Almighty Himself. Yes, as awesome as Bass.

Children fear the Boogeyman in their closet.
The Boogeyman fears Chuck Norris in his closet.
Noah Bennet fears no man for he has no closet, and shoots Chuck Norris for looking at Claire in an inappropriate manner.

 

[Bass]

The 300 Spartans got all their moves from a blurry video of Noah Bennet sleeping.

 

[ProjectX2]

The 300 Spartans got all their moves from a blurry video of Noah Bennet sleeping.

But the Spartans didn't have video technology, so this one must be a lie.

 

[Hellsbuttmonkey]

The Death of Superman is actually an adaptation of Noah Bennet's days in the Company.

 

[Random]

I want to see him and Bauer team up. That would be the most bad *** thing ever

 

[E]

Noah Bennet is my biological father. He impregnated my mother by looking at her.

 

[Hibiki]

Who The Hell Is Noah Bennet?

 

[Joe Kalicki]

One time Noah Bennett got up on the wrong side of the bed and the whole world rotated around him so he wouldn't be too upset.

 

[Bass]

But the Spartans didn't have video technology, so this one must be a lie.

Duh. It was all sent back in time for them by Hiro.

 

[ProjectX2]

Duh. It was all sent back in time for them by Hiro.

I don't remember that episode at all. I hope you didn't just spoil me.

 

[Hellsbuttmonkey]

You only don't remember coz Bennet got the Haitian to eat your memories.

 

[ProjectX2]

You only don't remember coz Bennet got the Haitian to eat your memories.

Racist. Haitians may eat various body organs, but they do not eat memories at all.

 

[Hellsbuttmonkey]

Next you will be telling me French people can't run, or Germans don't like sausage...

Everyone knows people in Haiti either eat memories, stop superpowers from working, or make zombies.

 

[Planet-man]

Noah Bennet's horn-rimmed glasses are carved from the horns of Satan himself, whom he arm-locked into submission.

 

[Victor Von Doom]

Not only can Noah Bennet lift Thor's hammer, he once borrowed it to re-shingle his roof. This was the real reason behind Ragnarok. Thor was pissed when he found out.

 

[Goodwill]

This might be my favorite thread ever.

 

[Hellsbuttmonkey]

And so it should be, for Noah Bennet is possibly the most badass awesome scion of awesomeness that ever laid a foot on our world.

 

[Bass]

Noah Bennet taught the Ask a Ninja Ninja everything he knows.

 

[ultimatedjf]

Heh, until I read this thread, I've continued to refer to Noah Bennet as simply H.R.G. (I just liked it better, thought it was cool), but you guys have clearly changed my opinion.


Now I'm gonna try one:

Proof that Noah Bennet is greater than Chuck Norris.

 

[Bass]

Blech.