Approximate Pre-Holocaust Price:
Currently paid in Thai currency, so can probably be obtained for $7.68 American.
Approximate Post-Holocaust Availability:
Better get a hold of him now, because the zombie apocalypse sure ain't gonna increase the number of daily flights to Thailand.
Benefits:
Tony Jaa is the perfect anti-zombie weapon, period. His style of Muay Thai, with its heavy emphasis on knee and elbow strikes, maximizes the chances of cranial trauma to the stumblors. When you factor in that, at any given moment, at least two of those 4 joints will be flying at a deserving zombie's skull with arcade-game velocity, it becomes clear that Tony Jaa could decimate a zombie horde at a rate comparable to an inverted razorcopter. Not only is his style impetuous, but his defense is impregnable. As inventor and master of the Tony Jaa Gambit, he can escape from virtually any situation not involving a straight jacket, blind-fold, heavy leg irons, and the Kama Sutra.
Drawbacks:
None whatsoever. Could some zombie tooth graze his elbow during a flurry? Easily remedied with Kevlar sleeves and kneepads. Range? Two words: Fastball Special.
Overall Effectiveness Score:
74 out of 10. Find some way to catapult Tony Jaa into one major population center after another, wait a few days, then send in the cleaning crew. Zombie Holocaust? Forget it. Time to repopulate.
