Ultimate Joke Characters

The Overlord

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Which 616 characters would work only as joke characters in the ultimate universe?
 

Doc Comic

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See, I believe any character in 616, joke or not, could be serious in Ultimate. Geoff Johns proved that any fourth-tier corny-as-hell villain can be turned into a deadly serious villain.

Somebody give me any 616 character - any one at all - and I guarantee you that I could probably make them serious in Ultimate.
 

ProjectX2

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Doc Comic said:
See, I believe any character in 616, joke or not, could be serious in Ultimate. Geoff Johns proved that any fourth-tier corny-as-hell villain can be turned into a deadly serious villain.

Somebody give me any 616 character - any one at all - and I guarantee you that I could probably make them serious in Ultimate.

Dr. Boner.
 

The Overlord

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Doc Comic said:
See, I believe any character in 616, joke or not, could be serious in Ultimate. Geoff Johns proved that any fourth-tier corny-as-hell villain can be turned into a deadly serious villain.

Somebody give me any 616 character - any one at all - and I guarantee you that I could probably make them serious in Ultimate.

Even Stilt-Man, Leap-Frog and Matador?
 

ProjectX2

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Doc Comic said:
Is there a 616 character called that? If so, give me a link with information.

There is, but I can't find any information.

How about Doctor Bong?
 

ProjectX2

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The Overlord said:
I don't think that character exists, I think for refering to Dr. Bong.

No, there is a Dr. Boner. Some guy was going to put it in his fanfic. I swear.
 

Doc Comic

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Ultimate Dr. Bong

As a child, all Lester Verde wanted was to be a singer and be a part of a boy band like NSYNC. Of course, Lester was scrawny and myopic with acne - not exactly boyband material. Six years later, Lester now runs his own music label, Bong Records, which appeals to teens mainly with rap and punk rock, as the name suggests. Bong Records is in massive debt after the failure of Luke Cage's rap album, and now Lester owes Wilson Fisk a lot of money. Lester discovers the band Dazzler - more specifically, their lead singer and guitarist, Alison Blaire. Lester has a hobby of mutant discovery, which is finding out if certain individuals are mutants. He discovers that Alison's power allows her to convert sound into light. He could harness her to cut down on the cost of concerts and effects. Of course, Lester is psychotic, and he seeks ROXXON's help in kidnapping Alison. But the X-Men are there.

I'll take on Ultimate Stilt-Man and Leap-Frog tomorrow.
 
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ourchair

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Actually, the question I have in my head lately is whether or not ANY joke villain is off-limits from being turned into a serious villain.

These days NO fourth-tier villain is beyond becoming a super-villainous mastermind behind a large-scale conspiracy to drive the hero nuts combined with some new 'dark' habit like a drug addiction, pedophilia and raping other people's wives.

And the sad thing is, this schtick dates all the way back to Dan Jurgens' Toyman from Superman back in the early nineties.
 

Doc Comic

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Ultimate Leap-Frog

Vincent Patilio was a middle-aged scientist that worked for Osborn Industries. He was one of the scientists in charge of the animal testing for the Oz chemical. One of these animals was a frog. When it was time to test for the regenerative capability of Oz, Vincent cut a leg off of the frog, but also accidentally sliced his fingertip open. The blood of the frog seeped into the wound, which went unknown to Vincent. Miraclously, within seconds the frog's leg began to grow back. As for Vincent, he began to undergo peculiar changes. His tongue could stretch to amazing lengths, he could climb up walls with his bare hands, not to mention that his skin became dense. Vincent was released from Osborn Industries not longer after, and now that the only thing he focused on in life was gone, he decided to call it quits. Putting a gun to his head, he pulled the trigger, only to find that the bullet did nothing. Immediately, he leaped out of his apartment building - by leaping ten stories high. Vincent, now physically younger and exuberant, decided that the only thing in life he could do is look for thrills. Of course, during one of his treks, he squirted poison onto an innocent civilian, which alerted SHIELD to his existence. The Daily Bugle's front page? "Leap-Frog Freaks City"

Just like that, he becomes a serious villain. I researched frogs and exactly what a human would be like should they have the abilities of a frog. They would be very powerful, with amazing agility, the ability to jump 120 feet into the air, poison glands, wall crawling, and so many other things. Although the whole frog concept sounds awkward and corny, the truth is that it's logical considering what a human with frog abilities could do.
 

iceman

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I'm personally a big fan of the ultimate universe realizing how ridiculous some concepts could be. For example:

Kraven giving Spider-man any trouble at all. It's true, in 616, Spidey probably should have just one-punched him, as well as any villain who is not enhanced or shielded somehow.

Shocker. C'mon.


I like how Bendis makes ridiculous villains ridiculous, and leaves the major villains to be actual threats. So, personally, I would introduce characters like Dr. Bong as some teenage stoner who is robbing a 7-11 just because he has munchies, or Stilt Man as literally a man on stilts.
 

compound

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The Baxter Building entertainment hall; middle of the night

Johnny Storm watches something intently on the TV, with a satisfied grin on his face. We see the glare reflecting off him, but not the content of the program on the screen. Same view in every panel: Johnny in the forgeround; the darkened room in the background.

Ben Grimm/The Thing walks in, in an over-sized robe.

Ben (muttering to himself under his breath): ...told me I shouldn'ta eaten that guacamole dip, but did I listen? Noooo...

Ben: Hey, Johnny, you're still up? What could be so interesting that it couldn't wait until morning...

Ben stops, and looks over his shoulder at what's preoccupying his buddy. His eyes grow wide. Johnny raises his eyebrows, as his smile broadens with glee.

Ben: So that's why they call her Lyja the Lazer Fist!
 
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TheManWithoutFear

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compound said:
Actually, if Overlord had bothered to look, there's already a thread for this. Here it is:

Ultimate Howard the Duck and other lameness

Mods, kindly merge this, if you feel it's appropriate.
I think it's appropriate and im startin' to get sick again of people not looking stuff up. I'm getting 15 different threads for ultimization purposes suddenly.
 

Doc Comic

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Ultimate Stilt-Man

Wilbur Day attended the same prestigous private school as Tony Stark and Jim Rhodes. What put the two apart, however, was Wilbur's height - he towered at 7'7", a truly amazing spectacle. Tony always managed to outdo Wilbur in every scientific feat, which always made him mad, not to mention the nickname he was given - "Wil The Stilt." The final straw came when years later, Tony Stark became Iron Man while Wilbur was just struggling to keep his job at Empire State University. He decided that there was only one thing he could do: beat Tony at his own game. He was given the necessary resources by the Latverian Embassy to create his own suit of armor, based on the Iron Man schematics provided by the Beetle. What resulted was a suit similar to the Iron Man suit, but produced out of a liquid metal alloy. This allowed the wearer to shape it to what he deserved. Wilbur donned the suit and gave the guardian of Hell's Kitchen - Daredevil - a run for his money, due to the sheer capability of the suit.
 

Stuart

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ProjectX2 said:
No, there is a Dr. Boner. Some guy was going to put it in his fanfic. I swear.

Whoever was going to put Dr Boner in their fanfic must have been planning to make the character up for the fanfic, because Jeff Christiansen (creator of the Marvel Appendix and head writer for the handbooks) has a list covering pretty much every Marvel character and Dr Boner's not on it.
 

Pandrio

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Stuart said:
Whoever was going to put Dr Boner in their fanfic must have been planning to make the character up for the fanfic, because Jeff Christiansen (creator of the Marvel Appendix and head writer for the handbooks) has a list covering pretty much every Marvel character and Dr Boner's not on it.
The truth has been revealed.
 

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