An Apology for Ultimate Iron Man

ourchair

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It is very clear that the universe revolves around me. With that in mind, I must now apologize for an egregious crime. I must own up to the horrid tragedy I am responsible for.

See, I am to blame that Ultimate Iron Man sucks. Ultimate Iron Man blows chunks because of me.

It wasn't meant to be this way, actually. I never touched Orson Scott Card in his bathing suit area in his youth. I was not responsible for his being sodomized by a pack of squirrels.

But the heart of the matter is that when I read Ultimate Iron Man, I read it FOR FREE. This came to pass because I chose to download it instead of pay $2.99. And the rule of the universe which states that you get what you pay for.

And that's exactly why UIM is the way it is, because it cost me nothing to read and now all of you have to suffer a story that is worth $0.00

Forgive me, my brothers and sisters, for I have sinned.
 

TheManWithoutFear

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ourchair said:
It is very clear that the universe revolves around me. With that in mind, I must now apologize for an egregious crime. I must own up to the horrid tragedy I am responsible for.

See, I am to blame that Ultimate Iron Man sucks. Ultimate Iron Man blows chunks because of me.

It wasn't meant to be this way, actually. I never touched Orson Scott Card in his bathing suit area in his youth. I was not responsible for his being sodomized by a pack of squirrels.

But the heart of the matter is that when I read Ultimate Iron Man, I read it FOR FREE. This came to pass because I chose to download it instead of pay $2.99. And the rule of the universe which states that you get what you pay for.

And that's exactly why UIM is the way it is, because it cost me nothing to read and now all of you have to suffer a story that is worth $0.00

Forgive me, my brothers and sisters, for I have sinned.
:shifty:


.... **** you OurChair
 

ProjectX2

Don't expect me to take you with me when I go to s
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compound said:
But... but... America is free!... Right? :please:

Don't worry. I did it too.

The bad thing is, I'll end up buying this horrible story in trade.
 

Guijllons

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See, I thought it was me, for the exact same reason. But after I stopped downloading it, it is just as bad.

Maybe if your bought Card lunch the universe will right itself.
 

Lynx

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ourchair said:
But the heart of the matter is that when I read Ultimate Iron Man, I read it FOR FREE. This came to pass because I chose to download it instead of pay $2.99. And the rule of the universe which states that you get what you pay for.

And that's exactly why UIM is the way it is, because it cost me nothing to read and now all of you have to suffer a story that is worth $0.00

Forgive me, my brothers and sisters, for I have sinned.

God, I can imageine what'd happen if someone paid you to read a comic. Something akin to New Excalibur, perhaps?
 

Doc Comic

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ourchair said:
And that's exactly why UIM is the way it is, because it cost me nothing to read and now all of you have to suffer a story that is worth $0.00
That's okay. I didn't pay anything for it either.

Actually, I think Card should be paying US for reading the story. It'll make up for the five minutes of our lives that we'll never have back.
 

Ice

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Doc Comic said:
That's okay. I didn't pay anything for it either.

Actually, I think Card should be paying US for reading the story. It'll make up for the five minutes of our lives that we'll never have back.
$10?!

I'll give you $5! Please! I...I need bread money!
 

ourchair

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icemastertron said:
Look! I bought him lunch. I bought him dinner. But I draw the line at "after hour playtime!" :evil:
The way I see it, we don't do Card any sexual favors. Rather he should be doing us sexual favors.

Ooooohhhh Card, time to sit on YourChair! :evil:
 

XFactor

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Wait wait wait. So everyone DOWNLOADED Ultimate Iron Man and no one bought it??? Well no wonder it sucks! He knew we would all just find it on the computer and not even bother to go to the comic shop. If he thought maybe 3 out of 5 people would actually BUY it, he may have written it better. Or at least make it logical.

For shame, my friends. For shame.
 

Ice

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XFactor said:
Wait wait wait. So everyone DOWNLOADED Ultimate Iron Man and no one bought it???
If that was the case, well... okay, I don't have a punchline, but I bought it!

NA-NA-NA-NA-BOO-BOO!
 
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Pandrio

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XFactor said:
Wait wait wait. So everyone DOWNLOADED Ultimate Iron Man and no one bought it??? Well no wonder it sucks! He knew we would all just find it on the computer and not even bother to go to the comic shop. If he thought maybe 3 out of 5 people would actually BUY it, he may have written it better. Or at least make it logical.

For shame, my friends. For shame.
The reason everyone downloaded it, is because it sucked. They would have probably bought it if it was any good. I think they would have, anyway.
 
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Bass

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ourchair said:
It is very clear that the universe revolves around me. With that in mind, I must now apologize for an egregious crime. I must own up to the horrid tragedy I am responsible for.

See, I am to blame that Ultimate Iron Man sucks. Ultimate Iron Man blows chunks because of me.

It wasn't meant to be this way, actually. I never touched Orson Scott Card in his bathing suit area in his youth. I was not responsible for his being sodomized by a pack of squirrels.

But the heart of the matter is that when I read Ultimate Iron Man, I read it FOR FREE. This came to pass because I chose to download it instead of pay $2.99. And the rule of the universe which states that you get what you pay for.

And that's exactly why UIM is the way it is, because it cost me nothing to read and now all of you have to suffer a story that is worth $0.00

Forgive me, my brothers and sisters, for I have sinned.

Don't you see what he's saying? When something goes wrong, we can't spend our time finding someone to blame. We have to accept that we all, in some way, are to blame. We all downloaded UIM#1.

I downloaded Ultimate Iron Man #1.
 

Pandrio

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Bass said:
Don't you see what he's saying? When something goes wrong, we can't spend our time finding someone to blame. We have to accept that we all, in some way, are to blame. We all downloaded UIM#1.

I downloaded Ultimate Iron Man #1.
I didn't, I just diss it before I've read it :D .
 

E

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I have bought every issue as well as the 2 variants for #1. I will buy #5 as well as all issues in the 2nd series.
 

Lynx

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UltimateE said:
I have bought every issue as well as the 2 variants for #1. I will buy #5 as well as all issues in the 2nd series.

Ditto. Let's here it for Completeists! 8)
 

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