Ultimate Houde
UC's Resident Genetic Recombinator
I hate text messages. It is a known fact, if you want to talk to me, take the damn effort to call me. Every single one of my friends know this. Yesterday I recieved a text, that went like this.
Ignore me if you want, but I want my stuff back
I pause, and look at the message, completely random and completely foriegn to me. The person texting me is a friend who knows I hate text messages. But this seems like is was a string to other messages, I break my rule of never replying and call him up.
"Hello," I state into the phone.
"Hey, what's going on?"
Ok, so he seemed like he was pissed off at me in the text, yet he's acting fine right now as if nothing is wrong, I probe in my subtle way.
"What's with the text?"
See, completely subtle.
"Your an ***, that's what."
I bite.
"Okay, I'll bite, how am I ignoring you?"
"I've sent you about three messages, you never responded."
I quickly glance at my cell, and sure enough they're three messages there. My cell phone doesn't make any noise when I get a text, and most of the time I never notice I have them.
"That's nice, I never recieved them, plus you know if I did I'd never respond to them."
"Anyone could tell I was pissed."
"Did you miss the part how I never recieved them?"
"Dude, you always start drama."
There's the word, I hate beyond a shadow of a doubt, drama. I never start drama, if someone pisses me off, I tell them about it, face to face, I don't hide behind conspiracy rumors, and gossip, never have, never will. I've even touched upon this once before with a rant whose sole purpose was to annouce to people how I hate drama.
"Dude, I hate drama."
See, what I tell you.
"You started it."
"You mind telling what I started?"
"It was in my text messages."
"Did you miss the part how I never recieved them?"
"HOUDE! I AM SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!"
"I can tell, wondered how I pissed you off though. Man, you're starting to sound like a girl."
I speak so openly, it can confuse people sometimes. In fact, my real debating tool is brutal honesty. It throws people off.
"Why did you say that?"
"Say what?"
"It was..."
I didn't even let him finish this time.
"Did you miss the part now I never recieved no stinking text messages!"
I delete said text messages from my phone without opening them during this sentence.
"You had no buisness callling me that!"
"Since you still have yet to tell me what I called you, and when you want to, call me back. You may want to take some estrogen pills first though."
My wit, it's so razor sharp.
"Fine, for calling me an *******."
"I did? Seriously, even if I did, your pissed off about that? Oh, I thought it was about something serious."
"This is SERIOUS!"
I think of the recent South Park with Al Gore and how he kept saying cereal instead of serious. I laugh openly.
"What are you laughing about?"
"Al Gore."
"What?"
"See, there was this...."
"YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT HOUDE!"
"Now, you see, that was unnessecary. I was simply telling..."
"Why did you call me an *******."
"Cause I never did."
"What?"
"I called your girlfriend one."
A pause.
"Oh, she said you call me one."
"Nope."
"Oh.."
Another pause.
"That's okay then, she's a ***** anyways."
"Yes she is."
"Sorry about that then, you can keep my stuff."
"What stuff?"
"The DVD's."
A pause.
"Oh, that stuff."
I really have no clue what he's talking about. I should probably look into it one day. He's possesive about his DVDs this one.
"Alright Houde, I'll talk to you later."
"Word"
A pause.
"*******! HAHAHAH!"
Yea, I push the envelope people. After some other good natured ribbing, and calling him at one point, a *****queef, the conversation ended.
This started off as a rant about stupid drama and how some humans seem to thrive on it, but instead it turned into the stupid conversation with my friend, who I now think is gay.
Word peeps
Word
Ignore me if you want, but I want my stuff back
I pause, and look at the message, completely random and completely foriegn to me. The person texting me is a friend who knows I hate text messages. But this seems like is was a string to other messages, I break my rule of never replying and call him up.
"Hello," I state into the phone.
"Hey, what's going on?"
Ok, so he seemed like he was pissed off at me in the text, yet he's acting fine right now as if nothing is wrong, I probe in my subtle way.
"What's with the text?"
See, completely subtle.
"Your an ***, that's what."
I bite.
"Okay, I'll bite, how am I ignoring you?"
"I've sent you about three messages, you never responded."
I quickly glance at my cell, and sure enough they're three messages there. My cell phone doesn't make any noise when I get a text, and most of the time I never notice I have them.
"That's nice, I never recieved them, plus you know if I did I'd never respond to them."
"Anyone could tell I was pissed."
"Did you miss the part how I never recieved them?"
"Dude, you always start drama."
There's the word, I hate beyond a shadow of a doubt, drama. I never start drama, if someone pisses me off, I tell them about it, face to face, I don't hide behind conspiracy rumors, and gossip, never have, never will. I've even touched upon this once before with a rant whose sole purpose was to annouce to people how I hate drama.
"Dude, I hate drama."
See, what I tell you.
"You started it."
"You mind telling what I started?"
"It was in my text messages."
"Did you miss the part how I never recieved them?"
"HOUDE! I AM SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!"
"I can tell, wondered how I pissed you off though. Man, you're starting to sound like a girl."
I speak so openly, it can confuse people sometimes. In fact, my real debating tool is brutal honesty. It throws people off.
"Why did you say that?"
"Say what?"
"It was..."
I didn't even let him finish this time.
"Did you miss the part now I never recieved no stinking text messages!"
I delete said text messages from my phone without opening them during this sentence.
"You had no buisness callling me that!"
"Since you still have yet to tell me what I called you, and when you want to, call me back. You may want to take some estrogen pills first though."
My wit, it's so razor sharp.
"Fine, for calling me an *******."
"I did? Seriously, even if I did, your pissed off about that? Oh, I thought it was about something serious."
"This is SERIOUS!"
I think of the recent South Park with Al Gore and how he kept saying cereal instead of serious. I laugh openly.
"What are you laughing about?"
"Al Gore."
"What?"
"See, there was this...."
"YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT HOUDE!"
"Now, you see, that was unnessecary. I was simply telling..."
"Why did you call me an *******."
"Cause I never did."
"What?"
"I called your girlfriend one."
A pause.
"Oh, she said you call me one."
"Nope."
"Oh.."
Another pause.
"That's okay then, she's a ***** anyways."
"Yes she is."
"Sorry about that then, you can keep my stuff."
"What stuff?"
"The DVD's."
A pause.
"Oh, that stuff."
I really have no clue what he's talking about. I should probably look into it one day. He's possesive about his DVDs this one.
"Alright Houde, I'll talk to you later."
"Word"
A pause.
"*******! HAHAHAH!"
Yea, I push the envelope people. After some other good natured ribbing, and calling him at one point, a *****queef, the conversation ended.
This started off as a rant about stupid drama and how some humans seem to thrive on it, but instead it turned into the stupid conversation with my friend, who I now think is gay.
Word peeps
Word