Dreamcasting: Adaptations #12 - Conan the Barbarian

Forgive me if this sucks, I had really no familiarity with the Conan mythos, I've been meaning to check it out.



CONAN THE BARBARIAN

In the wake of pumped adrenline films like 300 and Beowulf, Conan seems to be a perfect film in the same vein.

Conan.jpg

Conan the Barbarian - Vin Diesel

Now this might seem like an odd choice. But idea is that he was a slave, some slaves seem to have shaved heads and no features. This is my idea. Diesel doesn't get enough credit. He has the intensity that could rival Beowulf or Leonidas, but it a more subtle manner than angry yelling.

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Red Sonja - Charisma Carpenter

I tried for a no Whedon cast, but who cares. Charisma would make a great parallel to Diesel and has the figure for the silver bikini armor thing. She really is talented and could be an intense warrior on her own.

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Subotai - Chow Yun Fat

I agree with Houde and didn't want to steal his (even thought I thought of it before I seen his) but I like him so much. I want him to look more this picture of him from Pirates but sans the beard kinda in the same vein as Conan and the bald unremarkable slave.

Doom.jpg

Thulsa Doom - Michael Clark Duncan.

This man is the new James Earl. He would tower over Diesel. Just sit back and picture them fighting. It would be intense. He wouldn't say much but when he does everyone would listen.

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Kulan Gath - Edward Norton

I like the idea of adding Garh to the movie. I like the idea of him being a small pasty worm that would work along side Doom. While he is the powerhouse, Gath would be the coward that would backstab and fight from a distance. ​
 
thee great one said:


Sonja.jpg

Red Sonja - Charisma Carpenter

I tried for a no Whedon cast, but who cares. Charisma would make a great parallel to Diesel and has the figure for the silver bikini armor thing. She really is talented and could be an intense warrior on her own.
​
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I'll vote for TGO just because I'm in love with Charisma
 
CONAN

The film begins in the present day, outside the sleepy town of Hyboria, New Jersey, an unremarkable suburb facing economic downturn after the recent closure of a nearby chemical factory. In the middle of an October night, the sky is lit up by a flash, as a chiselled figure mysteriously falls from the heavens. He is naked, except for a sparse loincloth and some ornate armor. Landing in the midst of an ill-maintained dairy farm, he regains consciousness.

conan1.jpg


The man claims to be...

[IMGL]http://www.dumplingpress.com/kalokohan/conan/conan2.jpg[/IMGL]Conan of Cimmeria (played by Mark Wahlberg)
An itinerant warrior-thief and "famed solider of fortune", feared and renowned in the Hyborian Age. He claims his appearance in our era was the result of a malicious hex cast by his mortal foe, the sorcerer Thulsa Doom.

Conan's fingerprints and DNA samples match no known individual; he might as well not exist. But will he carry on with his senseless, butt-kicking ways, or does he choose to use this opportuity to use this sudden anonymity to do good in this strange new world?

The way I see it, at the beginning of the movie, Conan starts out as the Hyborian Age equivalent of a rock star -- a completely self-interested, glory-seeking attention whore. But as the story goes on, he eventually learns to channel his rage into more focused directions. For this kind of character arc, I picked Mark Wahlberg, combining the brash ambition of his role as Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights, with the man-out-of-place dynamics of his performance in Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes.​

Now, quite understandably, the National Security Agency is more than a little worried about the prospect of a muscle-bound, self-proclaimed barbarian seemingly appearing out of nowhere, from the middle of American airspace. So they assign a handler to deal with Conan. He is none other than...

[IMGl]http://www.dumplingpress.com/kalokohan/conan/ldp.jpg[/IMGl]Agent Tommy Subotai (played by Lou Diamond Phillips)
A brilliant, no-nonsense military psychologist with years of experience dealing with post-traumatic stress disorders in battle-scarred veterans (which is his initial diagnosis of Conan's apparent delusions).

Conan insists that Subotai is a decsendant -- or possibly a reincarnation -- of a man who once served as his loyal ally on his journeys across vast, dangerous wastelands.

However, in spite of his early misgivings, Subotai grows to like this noble savage, finding in him a glimpse of the hands-on, get-it-done valor that he considers lacking in the pencil-pushers and remote-control Little Ceasars that he presently works alongside, in the NSA.

Subotai is portrayed by reliable character actor Lou Diamond Phillips, most recently seen as an intuitive marksman and ballistics expert on Numb3rs.​
Subotai grants Conan permission to move about freely within the town limits of Hyboria, largely due to the involvement of...

[IMGl]http://www.dumplingpress.com/kalokohan/conan/redsonja2.jpg[/IMGl]Sonia Redd/"Red Sonja" (played by Famke Janssen)
An iron-willed but over-burdened fitness instructor and single mom. Her "spin aerobics" classes provide Hyboria with a touch of modernity -- not to mention an unlikely space for community bonding.

Once a notorious party girl, Sonia rushed into a brief, disappointing marriage (only hinted at); she now gives her love exclusively to those who prove themselves more physically fit than herself, as a kind of personal eugenics strategy.

She agrees to a paper marriage with Conan, in order to prevent him from being deported.

redsonja.jpg


Conan is convinced that she shares a spirit with one of his former lovers -- a notion that makes Sonia extremely uncomfortable, despite her reluctant attraction to the enigmatic rogue.

I don't feel the need to come up with a fancy justification for choosing perennial Dreamcasting fave Famke Janssen for this "reimagining" of the Red Sonja character.​

Sonia's house, like so many other residences in the lower-income areas of Hyboria, is being threatened with foreclosure by...

[IMGl]http://www.dumplingpress.com/kalokohan/conan/slj.jpg[/IMGl]Tiberius Dane/"Thulsa Doom" (played by Samuel L. Jackson)
A charismatic, self-made real-estate magnate who occassionally gives popular, well-attended motivational seminars, during which he shares his success story, as an example of good, old-fashioned can-do American work ethic. His outwardly cheery public image seems to hide a sinister agenda.

He plans to redevelop parts of Hyboria into a family-friendly casino resort, in the vein of Atlantic City during its heyday. But could there be more to Dane's grand scheme?

Conan believes that Dane is none other than his immortal foe, Thulsa Doom, who banished the wanderer to the present day. But could this merely be the paranoid suspicions of a time-displaced mind?

For the part of Thulsa Doom, I chose to go with another Dreamcasting mainstay: the multi-talented Samuel L. Jackson, here tempering his characteristic suaveness and bad-assery with the rah-rah enthusiasm of a secular preacher.​

The cast is rounded out by...

[IMGl]http://www.dumplingpress.com/kalokohan/conan/bright.jpg[/IMGl]Dragan Redd (played by Cameron Bright)
Sonia Redd's insightful -- but prematurely cynical -- 11-year-old son. Withdrawn and bookish, he rejects excessively masculine activities, due to his disrespect for his estranged Russian mobster dad.

At first, he objects to Conan's patronizing attitude towards him. But once Conan starts to regard him as an equal, he begins to warm up to him, and a kind of mentor/student dynamic forms between them.​





[IMGl]http://www.dumplingpress.com/kalokohan/conan/hoffman.jpg[/IMGl]Howard Jordan (played by Dustin Hoffman)
An eccentric, Joseph Campbell-esque professor of comparative mythologies. He becomes fascinated with Conan, and initiates a close friendship with the affable barbarian. But does he have some nefarious purpose for gaining Conan's trust?​

Basically, the story is built around Conan's positive effect on the lives of the townsfolk of Hyboria. He becomes an idol to listless teenage metal-heads. He gets a job playing a barbarian character in a children's theater show, during the town fair. On a more serious note, he joins the neighborhood watch to cut down the area's rising crime rate, etc.

Inevitably, Conan's attitude will earn him the ire of both prejudiced small-town folk, as well as influential big-shots in high places. Eventually, Conan will have to face up to the harsh realities of post-9/11 America -- not to mention, quite possibly, his own cosmic destiny...
 
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compound said:
CONAN
The film begins in the present day, outside the sleepy town of Hyboria, New Jersey, an unremarkable suburb facing economic downturn after the recent closure of a nearby chemical factory. In the middle of an October night, the sky is lit up by a flash, as a chiselled figure mysteriously falls from the heavens. He is naked, except for a sparse loincloth and some ornate armor. Landing in the midst of an ill-maintained dairy farm, he regains consciousness.
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Interesting....
 
:lol:

Absolutely brilliant.

Compound's got my vote.
 
compound....

your version of Conan reminds me just a little bit too much of the Masters of the Universe movie from the 80's.... and Beastmaster 3. I will not be voting for you, even though the cast itself is very good.

I just get chills thinking about the 2 aforementioned films.
 
Willverine said:
compound....

your version of Conan reminds me just a little bit too much of the Masters of the Universe movie from the 80's.... and Beastmaster 3. I will not be voting for you, even though the cast itself is very good.

I just get chills thinking about the 2 aforementioned films.
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I don't see the similarities. Wasn't Masters of the Universe pretty much about dimensional travel?
 
ConantheBarbarian.jpg

Colin Farell, Amy Adams, Will Yun Lee, Rufus Sewell​



Conan – Colin Farell – My vision isn’t that Conan is some sort of hulking barbarian. Instead I want to model him after the more realistic Viking warriors in the most excellent “13th Warrior”. Conan is still a bad ass…but a slightly less larger-than-life character that is impossible to cast due to the foreign stigma placed on the role. For this I cast the intense-gruff looking Colin. Colin is always up for the physical roles and he exudes an intensity from his eyes that reminds me of the stern looks Arnold used to give all the time. And one thing many people forget is that Conan is also an educated warrior and not some giant brute. I’d envision Colin channeling some of that Alexander nobility and master-strategist.

Red Sonja – Amy Adams – Not so much a warrior woman so much as a former street urchin and whore who tired of that life and decided to go her own independent path. For this I wanted a lighter counterpart to the Farrel’s Conan, as well as a more feminine version of Bridgette Neilson’s portrayal. Adams has done a lot of dramatic independent roles…but most of her notoriety comes from her comedic roles, but I believe she could take this role and quickly adapt to the action portions with ease.

Subotai – Will Yun Lee – The role of the master thief should be a physical role. But you don’t want the characters physicality to overshadow your main star. For this I choose the most badass Will Yun Lee. You’ve seen him kick *** in “Elektra”. You’ve seen him kick *** in “Bionic Woman”. Now see him kick *** and steal stuff in “Conan”. The only difference I would make to the character is to get rid of the comedic sidekick aspect and have him provide the sage advice Conan seeks on his journey.

Thulsa Doom – Rufus Sewell – I know a lot of people want Thulsa Doom to be as close to James Earl Jones’ portrayal as possible. But I want Thulsa Doom to be more prevalent in the film. I want him to be this charismatic and yet enigmatic, snake worshipping warlord. And while Jones, brought this aspect to life…I honestly didn’t buy it. Sewell can bring that charming yet dangerous look to the character. I can picture him charming a harem of women…and then transforming into a giant snake and devouring them. Plus…look at him! He looks like a snake with that sharp smile and jeweled eyes.
 
He's hit or miss for me.

Love him in Daredevil. Hate him in SWAT. Love him in The Recruit. Hate him in Hart's War. Love him in Miami Vice. Hate him in New World.
 
Victor Von Doom said:
He's hit or miss for me.

Love him in Daredevil. Hate him in SWAT. Love him in The Recruit. Hate him in Hart's War. Love him in Miami Vice. Hate him in New World.
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Victor Von Doom is wise.

He may love and hate Colin Farrell, but he does not let his emotions get in the way of his casting... for that is the way of The Dark Side.
 
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