How to retcon Ultimate Iron Man?

Guijllons

Well-Known Member
Reed "So, Tony, I saw this thing on tv about you having brain tissue throughout your entire body, is that true?"
Tony "... er, No."

END.
 

Lynx

Well-Known Member
Guijllons said:
Reed "So, Tony, I saw this thing on tv about you having brain tissue throughout your entire body, is that true?"
Tony "... er, No."

END.

Unfourtunetly for us, it'll never happen. Sad, really. :(
 

Guijllons

Well-Known Member
Lynx said:
Unfourtunetly for us, it'll never happen. Sad, really. :(
It could, and as long as it doesn't involve alternate universes or time travel or other such silliness, I'm all for it.

Natasha "You know, your mother getting infected by poisoned rat blood while she was pregnant with you explains a lot."
Tony "...er, that didn't happen."
 

The Overlord

Well-Known Member
Scene

Tony jumps out of bed.

Black Widow: What's wrong Tony?

Tony: I just had a terrible nightmare, where my mother was bitten by a radioactive monkey when she was pergnant with me and as a result my body was mostly brain tissue!

Black Widow: That's it! No more booze right before bed time!

End.
 
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Guijllons

Well-Known Member
Hehe, that's more like it.

Tony "*pant pant* Darling, I had this terrible dream where I was all blue and my foot fell off!"

Ben "go back to sleep honey"

TO BE CONTINUED?
 

compound

Well-Known Member
Ultimate Orson Scott Card: "... and that is how I plan to fictionalize your life-story for the TV movie. Great, isn't it? So, do we have a deal?"

Tony: "Get the **** out of my office, you talentless hack!"
 

Lynx

Well-Known Member
Ha ha! This is kinda funny.

The Traitor: Suprised, Tony?

Tony: YOU!?

The Traitor: Yes, and i have discovered your weakness! *sprays Tony with a hose and Antibacterial Soap*

Tony: You read Card's Biography on me, didn't you?

The Traitor: . . .

Tony: *shoots Traitor in the head* Some people are so gulliable.

END.
 
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Doc Comic

Well-Known Member
In 616, Bethany Cabe wakes up and walks over to the running shower. Upon opening it, she finds Tony there with hair and natural skin.

Tony: "Good morning!"

Bethany: "I just had the most horrible dream! Your mom was bit by a radioactive monkey, your entire body was your brain, you were bald, you had a liquid bio-armor...!"
 

The Overlord

Well-Known Member
"Scooby-Doo" Solution:

Tony: So Mr. Card you sought to drive me insane by using your dream machine to convince I lived in a world where my body was composed almost entirely of brain issue. But who are you really?

Tony removes the Orson Scott Card mask.

Tony : *gasp* Its old man Jenkins, the guy who runs the old amusement park.

Jenkins: Yes and I would have gotten away with it, if not for you meddling, alcholoic, billionaire, super heroes!
 

Entropy

Well-Known Member
The final scene of the miniseries runs like this.

Running series of panels, Tony talking to his secretary about his meeting with Nick Fury the final panel being a closeup of his black tie.

Next page, next panel sequence we slowly pull out from the black that is Tony's pupil. He and Thor are sitting in Tony's Mansion wearing tie-dye shirts and jeans and watching 2001.

Tony turns to Thor and says, "WHERE did you get this acid again?"

Thor smiles and the series ends.
 

TheManWithoutFear

#1 reason not to join UC
Entropy said:
The final scene of the miniseries runs like this.

Running series of panels, Tony talking to his secretary about his meeting with Nick Fury the final panel being a closeup of his black tie.

Next page, next panel sequence we slowly pull out from the black that is Tony's pupil. He and Thor are sitting in Tony's Mansion wearing tie-dye shirts and jeans and watching 2001.

Tony turns to Thor and says, "WHERE did you get this acid again?"

Thor smiles and the series ends.
I think we have a winner
 

Lynx

Well-Known Member
UltimateE said:
This is my new favorite thread.

And in our heads, we can actually believe some of this as long as UIM never gets mentioned in another book.

Ignorance is bliss.
 

E

Moderator
Excelsior Club
Guijllons said:
Reed "So, Tony, I saw this thing on tv about you having brain tissue throughout your entire body, is that true?"
Tony "... er, No."

END.

The beautiful thing about this is that it's totally doable. Remember this?

Random guy: "So, 616 Magneto, how come you disguised yourself, took drugs to become more powerful, destroyed Manhattan, and killed Jean Grey?"

Magneto: "...er, that wasn't me."

END.
 

Lynx

Well-Known Member
UltimateE said:
The beautiful thing about this is that it's totally doable. Remember this?

Random guy: "So, 616 Magneto, how come you disguised yourself, took drugs to become more powerful, destroyed Manhattan, and killed Jean Grey?"

Magneto: "...er, that wasn't me."

END.

Who's worse? Claremont or Card?

THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.
 

Victor Von Doom

Fist of teh Internets.
May Parker: So Peter........saw you on the news earlier. You were fighting some freaks in front of the White House with Samuel L. Jackson in your Spiderman suit, sticking to stuff.....like a spider. Did ya have fun???

Peter Parker: Errr...ummmm...it wasn't me.




















































Damn that was weak..... 8)
 

Dr.Strangefate

He Sees You When You're Sleeping. He Knows When Yo
Oh man!!!

Wouldn't it be awesome if all of this turned out to be Tony, drunk, explaining his life to some stripper at a bar?
 

ProjectX2

Don't expect me to take you with me when I go to s
...

Why?

This is what Orson Scott Card has planned. Writing Ultimate Iron Man horribly has gotten him more attention than he has ever had before.

If we stop, he might start writing it good.

If that's possible.
 

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