Teh Sexy Monkey Queen
- Jul 24, 2004
- The World of Icelandia.
Re: Jack Bauer vs. Noah Bennett
I'm going with Bennet. Jack Bauer tortures terrorists. Noah Bennet tortures supervillains.
As I said, Noah couldn't catch a super villain for the life of him, It's always his partner who does the capturing. And he barely tortures them. Every episode pf 24 is Jack showing how bad *** he isWinner.
I don't really watch 24. So Noah it is.
Brock ****ing Samson
The argument is the Hellsbuttmonkey Bennet is better than Bauer, its not the most bad *** in the world, just who is more bad *** than the other
Bennet, on the fact that he makes superpowered villains worry. Jack Bauer is nothing more than Bush's jerk off material.
And all of these things need to be seen in order for the full impact of awesomeness
24 of Jack Bauer's Most Bad *** Moments
Cutting off a dead dude's finger
Season 1 Episode 2
Right off the bat, 24 shows us it is just a little bit different from the rest as Jack cuts a finger off a dead bad guy to I.D. him.
I think I'm going to need a hacksaw
Season 2 Episode 1
One of the most bad-*** things Jack has ever done, and the very first thing he does after deciding to help CTU is murdering a federal witness, then taking a hacksaw to cut off his head in order to go undercover and infiltrate a group of American terrorists. Kid Rock's song American Badass was inspired by this episode and dedicated to Jack Bauer.
A Game of Russian Roulette
Season 3 Episode 5
If breaking Ramone Salazzar out of prison wasn't enough, Jack and Ramone get captured by inmates who for ****s and giggles set up a game of Russian Roulette. Thing is, the bullets in the gun are afraid to come out. This is what started the legend at CTU known as 'Jack Bauer once played a game of Russian Roulette with a loaded gun and won'.
And the Third Little Piggy went to the market...
Season 4 Episode 20
With Joe Prado being the only link to Marwan and being protected by a ***** *** lawyer, CTU does the only thing reasonable, and releases him. Jack Bauer then handcuffs him to the inside of the car and proceeds to break his fingers, one by one. The sound of bones cracking still makes me sick.
The *** Beating of Walt Cummings
Season 5 Episode 6
"The first thing I'm going to do is take out your right eye, then I'll move over and take out your left, and I'm gonna cut you and keep cutting you until I get the information I need, do you understand? " Jack can make any grown man cry or wet his pants, and the beating he puts on Walt Cummings is of epic proportions. The cherry on top is he gets to do it in front of *******t president of all time, Charles Logan. Just awesome.
Jack plays the pretend game: I killed your family!
Season 2 Episode 12
n a battle of wills with terrorist leader Sayid-Ali, Jack shows what appears to be a live feed via satellite of Ali's family. After refusing to tell Jack where the bomb is. Jack gives the command to execute Ali's son. Not! Absolutely brutal to watch the first time through. I can still hear Jack screaming, TELL ME WHERE THE BOMB IS!
Jack blows off a terrorist's knee cap
Season 4 Episode 1
Somehow talking just doesn't cut it. When Erin Driscoll and company at CTU aren't able to get a terrorist suspect to talk, Jack breaks into the interrogation room and blows his ****ing knee cap off (see bloody chunk in frame). Even though Jack doesn't even work at CTU, he still runs the place.
Jack shows Ted Coffel 'the towel of torture'
Season 1 Episode 11
Following a lead from CTU, Jack interrogates a business man named Ted Cofell. He explains to Cofell, if he doesn't start talking, he will do what the Russian Gulag used to do. Using a wet towel, he will force it down his throat, so the end of the towel will be in his stomach. The stomach will then try to digest the towel, and then Jack will rip the towel out of his throat, taking the stomach lining with it. Probably the best pyschological torture Jack has ever done.
Jack finally kills Nina Myers
Season 3 Episode 14
Well, murder is more like it since she was unarmed, but she had it coming. Maybe I am a sick person, but I wanted Nina to shoot Kim Bauer so I wouldn't have to see her act like a dumb blonde ***** again. Sadly though, this was an exit to television's greatest villain (and inspired my gamertag - CTU Nina Myers).
Jack hijacks a plane
Season 5 Episode 20
After hiding on a flight which has Christopher Henderson's contact and incriminating evidence, Jack has to force an uncooperative pilot to see the Jack Bauer way. He's just that bad ***. If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.
Busy 8 Minutes
Season 4 Episode 6
In 8 minutes time Jack goes in and takes out 12 terrorists, rescues Senator Heller from a live execution, rescues his girl Audrey, and manages in enough time for the air strike to be called off. No one in history will do as much in 8 minutes. Jack Bauer for president.
Death is scared of Jack Bauer
Season 2 Episode 19
Shocked, sliced, tortured, and even flat-lining can't stop Jack Bauer. Tortured until his heart stopped, then brought back from the dead, he kills everyone in the room. Naked. Now that is bad ***.
Jack and Chase slice and dice Michael Amador'shand
Season 3 Episode 16
When Amador tries to act like a tough guy and refuses to talk about Saunders, Jack makes him look like a stupid baby by slicing his hand. Amador quickly passes out from the pain. That is what happens when you make Jack angry.
Jack busts Tony's ankle
Season 2 Episode 16
Jack is about to leave CTU with Kate Warner to meet a man that has info on the Cyprus recording. Tony stops them and demands to know what Jack is doing. Tony never got the memo that said Jack Bauer can break anyone and anything, but he will always break the protocol first. Tony should know better.
The Death of Paul Reines
Season 4 Episode 20
Unequivocally, one of the toughest choices Jack has ever made. He orders surgeons at gunpoint to stop operating on Paul Reines and instead save a Chinese suspect's life since he possesses information on the whereabouts to terrorist leader Habib Marwan. This leads to Paul Reines's death. And the entire time Audrey is screaming for Jack to stop. Killing someone's ex-husband(or husband that is separated) is not the best relationship builder. Probably shouldn't be on a 'bad-***' list, but I had to include it.
Jack shoots Henderson's wife in the leg
Season 5 Episode 11
There is nothing like shooting a civilian in the leg in order to get what you want. When ex-CTU agent Christopher Henderson refuses to inform Jack of the nerve gas, Jack puts a round into his wife's leg. To his wife's horror, Henderson still refuses to talk about it. That type of commitment is impressive.
Jack takes out the entire Drazen crew
Season 1 Episode 24
After single-handedly killing the entire Drazen crew, he has Victor Drazen, unarmed standing on the docks. The cause of all the trouble today, he empties 11 rounds into Victor Drazen, emptying his clip by continually shooting at him even after he falls in the water. An extremely satisfying kill. The rage of Bauer is unmatched.
Jack robs a Convenience Store
Season 4 Episode 4
In order to buy more time for Chloe to use satellite surveillance to track Kalil, Jack holds up a store. Basically, Jack can do whatever he wants. I wish I had Keifer's voice. I'd go around screaming at people with that mask on.
Shoot-out at the coliseum
Season 2 Episode 24
After Jack uses Sherry to lure Kingsley to a meeting, things go awry. Jack is forced to take out an entire team of elite agents, including running up a wall and breaking a dudes neck Ray Mysterio style. China may have billions of people. All we need is Jack Bauer.
Jack introduces his Microtech Halo III SA Satin Blade to a Swat Member's head
Season 4 Episode 13
Jack and Paul enlist the help of two civilians in order for them to fight off soldiers sent by McLennan-Forster. They take cover in a supply store, and engage in a firefight to CTU can pick up their location. If Jack has a knife and you have a gun, you still will lose.
Jack cuts off Chase's hand
Season 3 Episode 24
With a deadly Cordelia virus device stuck to Chase's arm, as soon as they show that axe, you know his hand is coming off. But that is what happens when you are Kim Bauer's boyfriend, you lose limbs.
Paying for your sins
Season 5 Episode 22
Christopher Henderson, responsible for the deaths of Tony, Michelle, and David Palmer, gets what he rightfully deserves as Jack straight up murders his *** on top of a submarine. Although I would of preferred a violent torture until death, Jack just don't have a lot of time.
Sacrificing Jane Saunders
Season 3 Episode 23
"When your daughter is infected, I'm going to make you watch her die." This is Jack Bauer at his most cold-blooded, a side no human on earth would want to see. Threatening to kill Jane Saunders at the end ultimately changed Saunders mind to give up the location of the vials. Lucky for Jane, her father didn't have Christopher Henderson's committment.
Jack Bauer pulling a 'Lost Boys' on a terrorist
Season 6 Episode 2
If being tortured for a year and a half by the Chinese wasn't enough, Jack is brought back by his own government, only to be sacrificed to an informant who has information on terrorist leader Hamri Al-Assad. While being tortured, Jack manages to escape by biting a large chunk of flesh out of a terrorists neck. Awesomely brutal.
Noah might indeed be a bad ***.....but torturing a super sexy slightly crazy 22 year old electro-powered mega babe, is nothing compared to going toe-to-toe with Robocop and shooting his wife in the leg.
Noah shoots people point blank. Bauer literally rips out their throats.
Bauer all the way. Unless he's up against Brock Samson.
Lookin' like The Man In The Horn Rimmed Glasses is taking a clear lead here..
Of course he is, everyone on this site loves Heroes.
*clears throat* everyone?