Ice
Teh Sexy Monkey Queen
I'm with you there. And I don't even own a car. When my uncle fixes his, I just stand there, smile, and nod my head.
The Confessional
- Thread starter Victor Von Doom
- Start date
Ice
Teh Sexy Monkey Queen
Ouch.Yeah, but I should know this stuff, because I'm straight.
KIDDING!
I have never done anything to show I'm not straight.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go pray to my naked Bass shrine.
Ouch.
I have never done anything to show I'm not straight.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go pray to my naked Bass shrine.
Make sure you spit-shine the buttocks area. I have one too and it always gets dirty on mine.
Ouch.
I was just kidding, but just to make you feel better:
I'm totally digging this one Christina Aguilera song. I'm listening to it right now.
I like 2 or 3 Britney Spears songs. "Toxic" is a kick-*** song. I'm totally serious.
And with that, I've lost all credibility with Cad.
Ice
Teh Sexy Monkey Queen
Planet-man
Well-Known Member
You know, when "Toxic" first came out, I remotely liked it. Two things, however, have stripped any of that away:
1) Britney Spears' increasing repulisiveness in general, and...
2) The fact that whenever I hear it, I can only picture that scene from one of my all-time favourite South Park episodes: Cartman, dressed as Spears, dancing and singing to one of her songs in his backyard while making out with a Justin Timberlake cut-out, while the whole school laughs at him and cheers for Butters.
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Zombipanda
My Boom-Boom's mostly gay
Toxic was the ****. The song wasn't good, but it was catchy as hell, and Spears looked so damn hot in the whole video.
Shame she's turning into a sasquatch....
As for cars, I lost a car to not changing the oil, too. Don't worry about it.
Shame she's turning into a sasquatch....
As for cars, I lost a car to not changing the oil, too. Don't worry about it.
Hibiki
Really is pretentious, no matter what she says. Do
hey if they make an Ultimate spiderman, she can play mj/goblin
Victor Von Doom
Fist of teh Internets.
I cut a man yesterday.
Seriously.
But it was in self-defense.
Ok.....so I'm out last night taking The Captain for a walk and this car rolls up next to me. This didn't weird me out or put me on the defensive because a lot of people do this to me all the time. Mainly they wanna know what kinda dog he is. This was no different. The driver asked what kinda dog he was and I told him that he was a beagle/pug mix. The driver replied that he looked like a mini-boxer. This is true to a degree.
Then the weirdness started. He stated that The Captain was a beautiful dog and asked me if I was willing to sell The Captain. I told him no and kept on walking. He then rolled the car forward and asked if I would reconsider. I told him no and politely asked him to leave me be. To which he replied "Well if you won't sell him....maybe you'll just give him to me, huh?"
At which point he and 2 other boys (none of them could be any older than say 21) stepped outta the car.
I was still in uniform and had my knife on me. I pulled it out and told them that "I'm gonna keep walking, but if any of you mother****ers come near me or my dog---I'll cut a big smile in the gut of yours!"
They obviously thought I was joking and attempted to come at me. I swung my knife at the closest one and he lunged back. The second tried to come at me at the same time and I whipped my arm around and the knife caught him in the stomach.
At the same time a cop that lives in the neighborhood was driving by and saw the attack. He stopped the attack and arrested the 3 guys. I had to give a statement and he suggested that I look for a lawyer because even though it was in self-defense and the charge would get thrown out in civil court.....the guy I cut could sue me in small claims court.
****! :x
Why does **** like this always happen to me.
Seriously.
But it was in self-defense.
Ok.....so I'm out last night taking The Captain for a walk and this car rolls up next to me. This didn't weird me out or put me on the defensive because a lot of people do this to me all the time. Mainly they wanna know what kinda dog he is. This was no different. The driver asked what kinda dog he was and I told him that he was a beagle/pug mix. The driver replied that he looked like a mini-boxer. This is true to a degree.
Then the weirdness started. He stated that The Captain was a beautiful dog and asked me if I was willing to sell The Captain. I told him no and kept on walking. He then rolled the car forward and asked if I would reconsider. I told him no and politely asked him to leave me be. To which he replied "Well if you won't sell him....maybe you'll just give him to me, huh?"
At which point he and 2 other boys (none of them could be any older than say 21) stepped outta the car.
I was still in uniform and had my knife on me. I pulled it out and told them that "I'm gonna keep walking, but if any of you mother****ers come near me or my dog---I'll cut a big smile in the gut of yours!"
They obviously thought I was joking and attempted to come at me. I swung my knife at the closest one and he lunged back. The second tried to come at me at the same time and I whipped my arm around and the knife caught him in the stomach.
At the same time a cop that lives in the neighborhood was driving by and saw the attack. He stopped the attack and arrested the 3 guys. I had to give a statement and he suggested that I look for a lawyer because even though it was in self-defense and the charge would get thrown out in civil court.....the guy I cut could sue me in small claims court.
****! :x
Why does **** like this always happen to me.
Friday
Well-Known Member
If Grant Morrison is to be believed then you have a better writer than I do.
Gideon Stargrave
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2006
- Messages
- 3,395
I've done a lot of bad things in my life. Many of you have read my story (in the D to the Rama thread) where I made the poor cripple girl as angry as I've ever seen a woman.
One time, while we were on a snowboarding trip, one of my friends stole and hid all of my stuff while I was trying to talk to a girl. I found out it was him and chased him onto the mountain and hit him with my snowboard. I later found out that I broke 2 of his ribs, and his parents were ready to file a law suit against mine. My friend was kind enough to convince his parents to drop the charges and he told me that he forgave me.
A few weeks later at school, we were both told to go to the dumpster outside and throw some boxes and stuff away. When he leaned over the dumpster to throw some stuff in, I pushed him inside. Yes, inside the dumpster. I then locked it and went back into the building, laughing my *** off.
A couple hours later I realized what a bad person I am.
One of my former friends made up some crap about me bullying him and got me suspended. I then harrased him (and broke enough of his stuff) to the point where he was so miserable that he transfered to the local catholic school.
I accidentally stepped on (and broke) my Best friend's Les Paul. I still feel bad about that one.
There's more where those came from, but I'm not at liberty to speak about some of them.
One time, while we were on a snowboarding trip, one of my friends stole and hid all of my stuff while I was trying to talk to a girl. I found out it was him and chased him onto the mountain and hit him with my snowboard. I later found out that I broke 2 of his ribs, and his parents were ready to file a law suit against mine. My friend was kind enough to convince his parents to drop the charges and he told me that he forgave me.
A few weeks later at school, we were both told to go to the dumpster outside and throw some boxes and stuff away. When he leaned over the dumpster to throw some stuff in, I pushed him inside. Yes, inside the dumpster. I then locked it and went back into the building, laughing my *** off.
A couple hours later I realized what a bad person I am.
One of my former friends made up some crap about me bullying him and got me suspended. I then harrased him (and broke enough of his stuff) to the point where he was so miserable that he transfered to the local catholic school.
I accidentally stepped on (and broke) my Best friend's Les Paul. I still feel bad about that one.
There's more where those came from, but I'm not at liberty to speak about some of them.
Victor Von Doom
Fist of teh Internets.
I am still the rottenest bastard to ever grace the UC.
ultimatedjf
Well-Known Member
Cartman, dressed as Spears, dancing and singing to one of her songs in his backyard while making out with a Justin Timberlake cut-out, while the whole school laughs at him and cheers for Butters.
And the line from the guy sitting next to Cartman at the showing that ends the episode: "Wow kid, you're a little ***got!"
Planet-man
Well-Known Member
Because you know how to deal with it.
If it had happened to somebody else, they could've ended up with a broken nose and a stolen dog, and the evil pricks could've gotten away with it and done more **** like that to someone else in the future.
Maybe they'll think twice about trying that **** again when Mr. Smileygut heals up.
That's one of the most perfect lines in the history of the show.
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Oh for Christ's sake, what kind of morons try to steal a dog. ****ing idiots.
moonmaster
Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2005
- Messages
- 13,670
