Nurhachi
Well-Known Member
AAAAH
Why are some of the previous covers not showing up any more on this thread?
Why are some of the previous covers not showing up any more on this thread?
Ultimate Central: The Fanfic
- Thread starter Nurhachi
- Start date
-
- Tags
- ultimate central
Nurhachi
Well-Known Member
Solicitation:
ULTIMATE CENTRAL #6: THE TRUTH ABOUT SQUIRRELS
They're small, they're quick, they're vicious, they're natural killing machines and they obey....SHIHAD THE SQUIRREL MASTER!!!
And after the truth about squirrels is revealed, does the Ultimate Central Team have the courage to confront them? Or will Shihad win the battle before it even begins... This is it folks, the battle between good and the purest, most base evil!!!
ProjectX2
Don't expect me to take you with me when I go to s
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2004
- Messages
- 25,007
Cool solict! But excellent cover! WOOT! Close-up of PX2! CRUSH THE SQUIRRELS!
Nurhachi
Well-Known Member
You'll never sleep again after this story :shifty:
This is fantastic. I can't wait.Nurhachi said:
Solicitation:
ULTIMATE CENTRAL #6: THE TRUTH ABOUT SQUIRRELS
They're small, they're quick, they're vicious, they're natural killing machines and they obey....SHIHAD THE SQUIRREL MASTER!!!
Nurhachi said:
Solicitation:
ULTIMATE CENTRAL #6: THE TRUTH ABOUT SQUIRRELS
They're small, they're quick, they're vicious, they're natural killing machines and they obey....SHIHAD THE SQUIRREL MASTER!!!
Ahhahahahahaha! :lol:
Ice
Teh Sexy Monkey Queen
RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! :crazy:Nurhachi said:
Solicitation:
ULTIMATE CENTRAL #6: THE TRUTH ABOUT SQUIRRELS
They're small, they're quick, they're vicious, they're natural killing machines and they obey....SHIHAD THE SQUIRREL MASTER!!!
Can't wait to read!
TheManWithoutFear
#1 reason not to join UC
Nurhachi said:
Solicitation:
ULTIMATE CENTRAL #6: THE TRUTH ABOUT SQUIRRELS
They're small, they're quick, they're vicious, they're natural killing machines and they obey....SHIHAD THE SQUIRREL MASTER!!!
Good stuff. I haven't seen Shihad around in a while.
ProjectX2
Don't expect me to take you with me when I go to s
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2004
- Messages
- 25,007
Squirrels or girls, Onrng?
Nurhachi
Well-Known Member
Squirrels fear nothing. They cant be scared, they cant be stopped. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Ultimate Gambit
Well-Known Member
can squirrels be persuaded by nuts? :shifty:
Nurhachi
Well-Known Member
Squirrels like nuts, but they prefer the taste of HUMAN FLESH!!!
ProjectX2
Don't expect me to take you with me when I go to s
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2004
- Messages
- 25,007
Especially if that human's been snacking on oranges. The only way to have the slightest chance of survival is by eating cheese every second of the day.
Ultimate Gambit
Well-Known Member
then I shall be fine
Friday
Well-Known Member
Cool new addition Nur. Good to see the imprisioned members are still around.
You know I wouldn't use my powers of inviability for such mundane things.... I would screw with live TV. Saturday night live would have alot more accidental F-Bombs... And god help The Today Show.
You know I wouldn't use my powers of inviability for such mundane things.... I would screw with live TV. Saturday night live would have alot more accidental F-Bombs... And god help The Today Show.
Nurhachi
Well-Known Member
ULTIMATE CENTRAL #6: THE TRUTH ABOUT SQUIRRELS
It was a dark and stormy night. A young couple parked next to a forest. Since no one came down that road, they would be alone. The man leant over to his girlfriend and kissed her slowly. He moved his hand to the lever to lower the back of the seat. She pressed herself close to him and returned his kiss. He kissed her on the forehead. "Babe," he said, "I just need to go take a shwaz quickly, I'll be right back, k." He opened the door and went into the forest to relieve himself.
10 minutes passed as the women thought about how long it took guys just to take a leak. After 20 minutes she started to get worried, and after 45 minutes she decided to go see what's up. She went into the woods, worried that maybe he's been hurt or injured.
"JEREMY!" she yelled, "Jeremy where are you? This isn't funny!"
Her heart skipped when she heard a rustling noise behind her. Quickly she turned around, but saw nothing. When turned back towards her, she saw a squirrel in front of her.
"Awwww, how cute," she said as she bent down to pet it.
They say her screams could be heard all through the town…
Meanwhile at a party in Birkdale, Auckland, New Zealand.
XT: Wow man, what an awesome party. Wow, look at her…
NURHACHI: Hell yeah man, this place is the shiznit for parties… ooh, check HER out.
ICE: It's ok. Not really my thing though, I think I might go, what do you think Proj.
PROJECT: Meh, I don't mind what we do. Holy….she is HOT!
NURHACHI: Come on Ice, I'm not aloud out unless you're around me to keep my blood from getting heated up.
ICE: *sigh*
Because of his appearance, Longshot could not join them unless he was invisible. He preferred to sneak into some strip shows.
NURHACHI: So XT, let me introduce you to…
Nurhachi saw that XT had gone off, and was shamelessly hitting on a girl on the other end of the room.
XT: Hey babe.
XT licked his finger and wiped it on her shirt.
XT: How bout we get you out of these wet clothes?
"BEEP BEEP"
NURHACHI: Dammit, HEY XT, we have to go.
ICE: Oh what a pity.
XT: Ah man, I was just gonna get some.
PROJECT: Yeah some heavy slappage.
XT: Mmmm, I can work with that.
ICE: Dude, we do NOT wanna know.
The four of them walked out to the party, when the girl XT was hitting on ran outside.
GIRL: Hey, wait I didn't get your number!
XT: Ah HA! I told you guys.
GIRL: Not you, you pervert. Him!
ICE: ME?
GIRL: Yeah.
ICE: Well…
XT: Come on Ice, we have to go.
XT pulled Ice away.
They went into an alleyway behind the house so no one could see them.
ICE: That was low man, she liked me.
XT: Whatever man, our duties come first.
Ice mumbled to himself as he pushed the button to teleport them to Ultimate Central, their headquarters and home in cyberspace, where Ultimate E and Longshot awaited them.
LONGSHOT: Hey guys.
ULTIMATE E: Hello boys. Listen, something horrible has happened. Shihad has gotten powers. Terrifying powers. Powers that could haunt you forever.
ICE: You always say that E!
ULTIMATE E: Ice, listen, this time… well…this time…
ICE: Yes? This time?
ULTIMATE E: Just….it's bad ok!
PROJECT: What powers does Shihad have exactly?
ULTIMATE E: Power over…power over….Squirrels.
ICE: Squirrels?
ULTIMATE E: Squirrels!
PROJECT: Oh, dear God NO!
Nurhachi, Ice, XT, Longshot and Project burst out laughing.
ULTIMATE E: SHUT UP! You don't know the truth about Squirrels!
XT: The truth about squirrels?
NURHACHI: What is the truth about squirrels E? Tell us.
LONGSHOT: Yes, please do enlighten us.
ULTIMATE E: You….YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!
XT: Seriously dude, tell us.
ICE: He will XT. Give him time, can't you see this is important, Geez!
XT: Chill out Ice, you seriously need a girlfriend man.
ICE: %$#@%#$^@#^%$^$#@%^%$#&^^&#
ULTIMATE E: Stop it guys, this IS important. You see. Squirrels are really from an experiment in the 1860's. When scientists mated Hamsters and Piranhas.
ICE: Wait, how do Hamsters and Piranhas mate?
ULTIMATE E: Believe me guys, you DON'T wanna know.
ICE: Oh I DO! I mean, how does the Piranha get his…
ULTIMATE E: We don't have time for this. Ok, so Squirrels are the products of Hamsters and Piranhas.
ICE: Hey, whatever you say man. I aint judging.
ULTIMATE E: Will you shut up Ice. Anyways; Squirrels are the most evil, the most vicious creatures in the universe! This was made even worse when an alien race called the Ranstornians…
ICE: Ranstor…..
ULTIMATE E: Ice, please, just let me finish. So this alien race found a way to get rid of all the evil and sin in there souls. Guess where they put all this evil.
ICE: George Bush?
ULTIMATE E: No, they put it into squirrels, making them more evil, more blood thirsty then ever.
PROJECT: Wait a minute. This is crazy talk. Squirrels are just harmless creatures that (like XT) only care about there nuts.
ULTIMATE E: Have you ever been alone with a squirrel Project? Of course not! Here is what happens when you're alone with a squirrel.
Ultimate E showed them some photos.
ULTIMATE E: These were taken 3 nights ago. A girl and her boyfriend were torn apart.
ICE: Oh….oh man…..
XT: %$@%#@
LONGSHOT: Ewwww!
Nurhachi and Project went to throw up.
ICE: So….Shihad has control over these….animals?
ULTIMATE E: Correct. Not only that, but Shihad can BECOME a human sized squirrel.
ICE: And we have to STOP HIM?
ULTIMATE E: Yes, now hurry. Time is of the essence.
The five of them went to the teleporting pad and teleported to the woods.
PROJECT: Ok, we have to stick together here. Remember, Ultimate E said you do NOT wanna be alone with a squirrel.
LONGSHOT: We hear ya.
ICE: According to the computers at Ultimate Central. Shihad is hiding out in a cabin around here.
After a little while of walking, they saw a cabin.
XT: He must be in there.
ICE: Wow XT, your good at pointing out the obvious, you know that?
They went to the cabin, and opened the door, but no one was there. No one…but a squirrel on the table.
SQUIRREL: Skreeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
The squirrel jumped at Projects face.
PROJECT: AAAHHHHH!!!!!
Project swatted the squirrel across the room, into the wall, where it fell to the ground, dead.
LONGSHOT: Well, these squirrels may be deadly, but they are still small, weak and fragile.
PROJECT: Never underestimate squirrels Longshot.
XT: Hey guys, look what I found.
There was a trapdoor on the floor of the cabin under the table.
LONGSHOT: Hey XT, how did you find that?
XT smiled.
XT: Enhanced senses man, gotta love em.
They went down the trapdoor, which led to a corridor. The corridor was narrow and they had to walk in a single file with Project in the front. Suddenly, the floor gave way under Project. He, Ice and XT fell down through a tunnel.
Nurhachi and Longshot heard the thud as the others hit the bottom.
LONGHOT: A TRAP, We have to go get them.
Nurhachi called down the hole.
NURHACHI: You guys alright?
XT: Fine, you guys carry on without us.
Nurhachi used his tendrils to get Longshot and himself over the hole. They carried on walking down the corridor till they got to a huge room. There was a bed, TV and all sorts of furniture lying around. Another door was on the far side of the room with the words "Bathroom" scratched on it.
LONGSHOT: This must be where Shihad lives.
They heard the toilet flush as Shihad walked out of his bathroom.
SHIHAD: What are you guys doing here?
His eyes glowed. He started turning into his squirrel form.
SHIHAD: No matter, I don't care, you're gonna die anyway.
At the bottom of the pit, Ice, Project and XT looked around. They were in a large cavern with no way out. Just walls all around them with little holes. Suddenly, squirrels started swarming out of the holes by the dozens.
PROJECT: LETS TEAR THEM APART!
XT started shooting beams at the squirrels, taking out a lot at a time, but still more came.
XT: Ice! Block the holes with you're ice powers.
Ice did that, but there were already hundreds of squirrels in the room with them. Still, at least no more could come in.
PROJECT: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Project started scooping them up and putting them in his mouth, eating them alive.
PROJECT: Hahahah! How do you like being eaten?
Project suddenly started coughing. He went down on his knees, and coughed up a hairball.
ICE: That's so disgusting man.
Project started squashing and crushing the squirrels while Ice froze them and XT blasted them with his optic blasts. Soon, they had killed all the squirrels. But now they needed a way out.
Meanwhile, Longshot and Nurhachi were fighting Shihad. He was fast, and agile. Longshot was just as fast and agile, but Shihad caught him mid leap, and bit his leg.
LONGSHOT: AAAARGHHHH.
NURHACHI: LONGSHOT!!!
Nurhachi jumped at Shihad, turned his hands into blades and stabbed Shihad in the back. Shihad screamed and turned around, swatting Nurhachi away. As Shihad turned to Nurhachi, Longshot grabbed the TV and smashed it over Shihad's head. Shihad went down, but tried to get back up. As he did, a bolt of ice froze him in place, and then a red beam hit him in the chest. Ice, Project and XT had gotten out of the trap, and Project ran and knocked Shihad out.
NURACHI: Wow, good job guys, but how did you get out?
ICE: I used my ice to lift us up through the hole.
PROJECT: Let's go introduce this loser to Ultimate Central Imprisonment.
XT: Sounds like a plan.
The five of them teleported back to Ultimate Central where Ultimate E imprisoned the squirrel master.
ULTIMATE E: Well done guys, you have saved the world from great evil.
ICE: Anytime E, now, LET'S GO PARTY! That party will still be on right?
NURHACHI: Haha, I thought you didn't like parties.
Ice smiled.
ICE: It got better near the end of it.
XT: Woohooo lets go.
ICE: Not you man, sorry.
XT: What?
ICE: Nah sorry man, you'll ruin my mojo.
NURHACHI: Your mojo?
ICE: My mojo!
PROJECT: WOOOOOOT!!!
It was a dark and stormy night. A young couple parked next to a forest. Since no one came down that road, they would be alone. The man leant over to his girlfriend and kissed her slowly. He moved his hand to the lever to lower the back of the seat. She pressed herself close to him and returned his kiss. He kissed her on the forehead. "Babe," he said, "I just need to go take a shwaz quickly, I'll be right back, k." He opened the door and went into the forest to relieve himself.
10 minutes passed as the women thought about how long it took guys just to take a leak. After 20 minutes she started to get worried, and after 45 minutes she decided to go see what's up. She went into the woods, worried that maybe he's been hurt or injured.
"JEREMY!" she yelled, "Jeremy where are you? This isn't funny!"
Her heart skipped when she heard a rustling noise behind her. Quickly she turned around, but saw nothing. When turned back towards her, she saw a squirrel in front of her.
"Awwww, how cute," she said as she bent down to pet it.
They say her screams could be heard all through the town…
Meanwhile at a party in Birkdale, Auckland, New Zealand.
XT: Wow man, what an awesome party. Wow, look at her…
NURHACHI: Hell yeah man, this place is the shiznit for parties… ooh, check HER out.
ICE: It's ok. Not really my thing though, I think I might go, what do you think Proj.
PROJECT: Meh, I don't mind what we do. Holy….she is HOT!
NURHACHI: Come on Ice, I'm not aloud out unless you're around me to keep my blood from getting heated up.
ICE: *sigh*
Because of his appearance, Longshot could not join them unless he was invisible. He preferred to sneak into some strip shows.
NURHACHI: So XT, let me introduce you to…
Nurhachi saw that XT had gone off, and was shamelessly hitting on a girl on the other end of the room.
XT: Hey babe.
XT licked his finger and wiped it on her shirt.
XT: How bout we get you out of these wet clothes?
"BEEP BEEP"
NURHACHI: Dammit, HEY XT, we have to go.
ICE: Oh what a pity.
XT: Ah man, I was just gonna get some.
PROJECT: Yeah some heavy slappage.
XT: Mmmm, I can work with that.
ICE: Dude, we do NOT wanna know.
The four of them walked out to the party, when the girl XT was hitting on ran outside.
GIRL: Hey, wait I didn't get your number!
XT: Ah HA! I told you guys.
GIRL: Not you, you pervert. Him!
ICE: ME?
GIRL: Yeah.
ICE: Well…
XT: Come on Ice, we have to go.
XT pulled Ice away.
They went into an alleyway behind the house so no one could see them.
ICE: That was low man, she liked me.
XT: Whatever man, our duties come first.
Ice mumbled to himself as he pushed the button to teleport them to Ultimate Central, their headquarters and home in cyberspace, where Ultimate E and Longshot awaited them.
LONGSHOT: Hey guys.
ULTIMATE E: Hello boys. Listen, something horrible has happened. Shihad has gotten powers. Terrifying powers. Powers that could haunt you forever.
ICE: You always say that E!
ULTIMATE E: Ice, listen, this time… well…this time…
ICE: Yes? This time?
ULTIMATE E: Just….it's bad ok!
PROJECT: What powers does Shihad have exactly?
ULTIMATE E: Power over…power over….Squirrels.
ICE: Squirrels?
ULTIMATE E: Squirrels!
PROJECT: Oh, dear God NO!
Nurhachi, Ice, XT, Longshot and Project burst out laughing.
ULTIMATE E: SHUT UP! You don't know the truth about Squirrels!
XT: The truth about squirrels?
NURHACHI: What is the truth about squirrels E? Tell us.
LONGSHOT: Yes, please do enlighten us.
ULTIMATE E: You….YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!
XT: Seriously dude, tell us.
ICE: He will XT. Give him time, can't you see this is important, Geez!
XT: Chill out Ice, you seriously need a girlfriend man.
ICE: %$#@%#$^@#^%$^$#@%^%$#&^^&#
ULTIMATE E: Stop it guys, this IS important. You see. Squirrels are really from an experiment in the 1860's. When scientists mated Hamsters and Piranhas.
ICE: Wait, how do Hamsters and Piranhas mate?
ULTIMATE E: Believe me guys, you DON'T wanna know.
ICE: Oh I DO! I mean, how does the Piranha get his…
ULTIMATE E: We don't have time for this. Ok, so Squirrels are the products of Hamsters and Piranhas.
ICE: Hey, whatever you say man. I aint judging.
ULTIMATE E: Will you shut up Ice. Anyways; Squirrels are the most evil, the most vicious creatures in the universe! This was made even worse when an alien race called the Ranstornians…
ICE: Ranstor…..
ULTIMATE E: Ice, please, just let me finish. So this alien race found a way to get rid of all the evil and sin in there souls. Guess where they put all this evil.
ICE: George Bush?
ULTIMATE E: No, they put it into squirrels, making them more evil, more blood thirsty then ever.
PROJECT: Wait a minute. This is crazy talk. Squirrels are just harmless creatures that (like XT) only care about there nuts.
ULTIMATE E: Have you ever been alone with a squirrel Project? Of course not! Here is what happens when you're alone with a squirrel.
Ultimate E showed them some photos.
ULTIMATE E: These were taken 3 nights ago. A girl and her boyfriend were torn apart.
ICE: Oh….oh man…..
XT: %$@%#@
LONGSHOT: Ewwww!
Nurhachi and Project went to throw up.
ICE: So….Shihad has control over these….animals?
ULTIMATE E: Correct. Not only that, but Shihad can BECOME a human sized squirrel.
ICE: And we have to STOP HIM?
ULTIMATE E: Yes, now hurry. Time is of the essence.
The five of them went to the teleporting pad and teleported to the woods.
PROJECT: Ok, we have to stick together here. Remember, Ultimate E said you do NOT wanna be alone with a squirrel.
LONGSHOT: We hear ya.
ICE: According to the computers at Ultimate Central. Shihad is hiding out in a cabin around here.
After a little while of walking, they saw a cabin.
XT: He must be in there.
ICE: Wow XT, your good at pointing out the obvious, you know that?
They went to the cabin, and opened the door, but no one was there. No one…but a squirrel on the table.
SQUIRREL: Skreeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
The squirrel jumped at Projects face.
PROJECT: AAAHHHHH!!!!!
Project swatted the squirrel across the room, into the wall, where it fell to the ground, dead.
LONGSHOT: Well, these squirrels may be deadly, but they are still small, weak and fragile.
PROJECT: Never underestimate squirrels Longshot.
XT: Hey guys, look what I found.
There was a trapdoor on the floor of the cabin under the table.
LONGSHOT: Hey XT, how did you find that?
XT smiled.
XT: Enhanced senses man, gotta love em.
They went down the trapdoor, which led to a corridor. The corridor was narrow and they had to walk in a single file with Project in the front. Suddenly, the floor gave way under Project. He, Ice and XT fell down through a tunnel.
Nurhachi and Longshot heard the thud as the others hit the bottom.
LONGHOT: A TRAP, We have to go get them.
Nurhachi called down the hole.
NURHACHI: You guys alright?
XT: Fine, you guys carry on without us.
Nurhachi used his tendrils to get Longshot and himself over the hole. They carried on walking down the corridor till they got to a huge room. There was a bed, TV and all sorts of furniture lying around. Another door was on the far side of the room with the words "Bathroom" scratched on it.
LONGSHOT: This must be where Shihad lives.
They heard the toilet flush as Shihad walked out of his bathroom.
SHIHAD: What are you guys doing here?
His eyes glowed. He started turning into his squirrel form.
SHIHAD: No matter, I don't care, you're gonna die anyway.
At the bottom of the pit, Ice, Project and XT looked around. They were in a large cavern with no way out. Just walls all around them with little holes. Suddenly, squirrels started swarming out of the holes by the dozens.
PROJECT: LETS TEAR THEM APART!
XT started shooting beams at the squirrels, taking out a lot at a time, but still more came.
XT: Ice! Block the holes with you're ice powers.
Ice did that, but there were already hundreds of squirrels in the room with them. Still, at least no more could come in.
PROJECT: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Project started scooping them up and putting them in his mouth, eating them alive.
PROJECT: Hahahah! How do you like being eaten?
Project suddenly started coughing. He went down on his knees, and coughed up a hairball.
ICE: That's so disgusting man.
Project started squashing and crushing the squirrels while Ice froze them and XT blasted them with his optic blasts. Soon, they had killed all the squirrels. But now they needed a way out.
Meanwhile, Longshot and Nurhachi were fighting Shihad. He was fast, and agile. Longshot was just as fast and agile, but Shihad caught him mid leap, and bit his leg.
LONGSHOT: AAAARGHHHH.
NURHACHI: LONGSHOT!!!
Nurhachi jumped at Shihad, turned his hands into blades and stabbed Shihad in the back. Shihad screamed and turned around, swatting Nurhachi away. As Shihad turned to Nurhachi, Longshot grabbed the TV and smashed it over Shihad's head. Shihad went down, but tried to get back up. As he did, a bolt of ice froze him in place, and then a red beam hit him in the chest. Ice, Project and XT had gotten out of the trap, and Project ran and knocked Shihad out.
NURACHI: Wow, good job guys, but how did you get out?
ICE: I used my ice to lift us up through the hole.
PROJECT: Let's go introduce this loser to Ultimate Central Imprisonment.
XT: Sounds like a plan.
The five of them teleported back to Ultimate Central where Ultimate E imprisoned the squirrel master.
ULTIMATE E: Well done guys, you have saved the world from great evil.
ICE: Anytime E, now, LET'S GO PARTY! That party will still be on right?
NURHACHI: Haha, I thought you didn't like parties.
Ice smiled.
ICE: It got better near the end of it.
XT: Woohooo lets go.
ICE: Not you man, sorry.
XT: What?
ICE: Nah sorry man, you'll ruin my mojo.
NURHACHI: Your mojo?
ICE: My mojo!
PROJECT: WOOOOOOT!!!
TheManWithoutFear
#1 reason not to join UC
Damn nur this is the worst day to post this I have to wait until sunday to read it... {Inset XXXtremely drunk smiley} :crazy:
Nurhachi
Well-Known Member
TheManWithoutFear said:
:lol:
