We pick up where we left off last time. If you need a refresher on who's there, it's Peter, MJ, Ben Grimm, Reed, Johnny, and Dr. Storm. Everyone's chatting up Bendis chat and after a few panels it's decided that Reed should run some tests on MJ and Peter will go check on Aunt May. Johnny lends a flamming hand and he's off with Peter to the hospital. After two panel shots of "let's stand here and pose", Cap, Iron Man, Wasp and the magically-walking-on-air Nick Fury arrive at the BB.
Nick: Screw y'all.
Thing: Peter's not a bad guy. >:0
Nick: No, but I'm an ***. Gimme him.
MJ: He looks up to you like a dad, you know. Stop being such a jerk, you prick.
Then.. oh, hey, I missed this page when I first read this. The X-Men are over Forest Hills in the invisible X-Jet. Jean reads the minds of some S.H.I.E.L.D. agents to discover where Aunt May is, and off they go!
Gwen (oops, I mean Sue) is watching May sleep. Weird. Also, the room's really dark. Suspicious. Peter comes in and interupts Sue's drool-fest to inform her that he somehow knows that the Richard clone was a fake. I don't know how he knows that, but he does. The two just go "Yeah, who cares about him" and Sue, obviously embarrased after having been walked in on unleashing her passion for middle-aged women, leaves.
Peter cries and talks to his unconcious mother. Yes, mother. He does an emotional "it hurt when you said I wasn't your son. Because to me I am your son" deal. Then Nick Fury, in the mood to spice things up, walks in. He doesn't walk in through a door, but through a curtain. Jeez, where are they keeping her?
Fury also has Cap and Iron Man (who don't say a word throughout the entire issue, mind you) before telling them to go away. So why were they there in the first place? Well, whatever.
Nick Fury: So I built some Spider-Slayers.
Peter: To take down the clones?
Fury: No, to take down you.
Peter: ... uh, why?
Fury: Because I'm Nick Fury, *****!!!!!
Fury: I was afraid you would go crazy after I showed up at your hourse with a bunch of robots.
Peter: But I didn't.
Fury than leaves and May, with great timing, wakes up to tell us that she does remember Peter's Spider-Man. Who's behind the curtain this time? It's Kitty and Jean! They don't go through, though; they're just telling Xavier to make May forget and Xavier (at the mansion) says no. Kitty gets ticked and storms off as if it would accomplish something. Jean continues to spy on Peter and May (who calls Peter "her boy") and then departs into a dark hallway. Does this hospital not have lights?
I wonder why people aren't going "wtf, why are you here!?". Sue, Jean, Kitty, Fury, Iron Man, Cap and possibly Wasp were all in that tiny space within thirty seconds and they don't seem even notice each other. Weird.
Meanwhile! Sharon Carter is now magically a blonde and telling the people at Forest Hills bull. MJ's mom (holding a picture of her daughter that seems to be from late elemtary school/early middle school) is there. MJ sneaks up behind her with some S.H.I.E.L.D. agents (one of which is Woo.)
At the warehouse, Peter and Jessica meet up. Jessica tells Peter that she wants to go to Midtown. She them promptly tells him she was joking. They flirt (I'm dead serious), have a passionate hug, and then Jessica goes off to start her own life. Peter notes the finger webs to us.
At the Trisk, Nick and some other people (one of which looks like Stark), see Tarantuala and the still-naked Gwen in giant pink tubes.
Old guy: What would you have us do to them, General?
Fury: Get to work...
Closure is overrated, don't ya think?
Peter looks at the burnt Parker house and MJ comes by, saying her mom was told Norman Osborn took her and that she was unconcious the entire time. Oh, Peter's staying at MJ's for a while and May's still in the poorly-lit, superhero-filled hospital. MJ and Peter also get the day of from school for whatever reason. Then they kiss... just in time for Kitty to see. Kitty takes up seven whole panels going "...well, crap" without any dialogue.
It's 5:55 p.m. And MJ's getting up from bed. She then goes off to look at Peter, also sleeping. Yeah, at 5:55 p.m. Either they've been having sexxors and are easily exhausted or we have a typo on our hands. MJ begins to bursh her teeth, but her hand's all shaky and goes "!!!" before claming herself down before seeing Kaine in the mirror. Wait, it's not Kaine, it's Peter. That doesn't stop MJ from three "AAIIEEEEEEE!!!!"s, though. Peter gives her a hug going "it's okay..." over and over again.
, I guess. Let's hope this series gets back on track. Plz.