Re: Ultimate X-Men #94 discussion (spoilers)
Got it in the mail today.
Starts in Russia, Colossus is a kid milking a cow when that gangster from Tomorrow People, Return to Weapon X, and Tempest comes and pretty much claims Colossus or he'll out his secret (being that he's a mutant not gay, that comes up later.)
The X-Men plus Nightcrawler and Colossus and Northstar (yet minus Toad?) are playing Baseball, these two segments had me...happy! Colossus backstory hard-*** Russians (and after playing four hours of GTA4 nonetheless, and yes Niko is not a Russian but a Serb but so what, I like him better as a Russian). And we're back to the X-Men being a team and Jean isn't some naked deus ex machina.
Things look good. The Heroes guy writes the characters well enough and does a good job of saying, "Weren't you the Morlock King?" "Didn't you turn into a fiery naked goddess and fly off?" And answers them both with a "Yeah, but LOOK OVER THERE!"
Iceman dies.
Alpha Flight shows up. Here to kick beat up the X-Men in like 5 pages. Wolverine says he knows these guys, Vindicator seems...unsure what the hell he's talking about since he's never met Wolverine despite Wolve knowing his name.
Fight is short and brutal. Alpha Flight owns the superior numbered X-Men in short order. Then they capture Northstar and begin to fly off. Colossus grabs their jet, their afterburners burn off all of his clothing and then Aurora flies out and confuses him long enough for their escape.
Hours later Beast has put Iceman back together, seems Bobby doesn't cover himself in ice anymore but rather turns into ice like his 616 counterpart now. I'm not too bothered by this change but it is abrupt.
Wolverine comes back, having been knocked from New York State to Maine by Vindicator. These Alpha Flight guys are "gods" when it comes to power levels being compared to the Ultimates more than once in the comic.
Wolverine does his plot dumping thing he does from time to time. He knows why and how Alpha Flight beat them so badly.
Banshee.
Which is a slang term for the Ultimate Mutant Growth Hormone. Wolverine ripped off one of Vindicator's grapefruit sized red balls all over his costume...uniform...whatever and it contained MGH (I pretty much refuse to call it Banshee).
Jean asks why she's never heard of it until now. Dazzler counters its because they live in a mansion away from the streets and helps Wolverine explain it.
Basically, its a lot like 616 MGH. Humans take it and gain powers for a while! Mutants take it...and they evolve into having new powers or expansions to their powers.
Colossus (clearly this arc's main protagonist) demands action since had it been Jean Cyke would have already have launched the counter attack, which is true, IMO. Cyke claims him down demanding training and tactics to beat five people with the power to defeat them in seconds and without breaking a sweat.
Cyke also has a point.
So far, I'm ok with this story. Good hints at what to come...decent action but a promise for bigger action later and the X-Men to win a fight by actually out thinking their enemy instead of brute force something that's been missing for a while in this book.
Then....trouble.
Jean, despite Cyclops clearly stating not too, takes it upon herself to mentally insert herself into Colossus's mind to figure out 'why he's so angry that his boyfriend was just kidnapped by overly powered shady foreign government agents to an uncertain fate which may or may not require him becoming addicted to a deadly drug and turning him into a living weapon.'
We get more Colossus backstory. Like his father catching him in bed with another guy, which comes in from nowhere and only takes up a panel. We get the story that originally Colossus's mutant power was kinda useless. He turned into steel bullets bounced off him....but he couldn't move at all (although the art early contradicts this a tad).
So the Mafia guy doesn't want Colossus (who's been kicked out of his house because he was gay which again contradicts World Tour where he was eating at home with his family all happy with them). Colossus begs he'll join...no matter the costs.
"Well, there is another option..."
Then the bomb which was hinted at for like two pages drops. Colossus is, and as long as the book's been out, a druggie on MGH. Taking shots in the locker room between missions giving him the strength to beat Magneto, Sentinels, and everything else he's ever done worth mentioning...under the noses of the two most powerful telepaths on the planet and Wolverine who's sent told him that Alpha Flight was on MGH....but never mind that.
Colossus says there's no difference between himself and Captain America (which was set up earlier in this issue by Colossus staring at a poster of Cap as a child). Logan counters saying he knows Cap and Colossus is no Captain America.
Which is hurtful and a lie since Ultimate Colossus is a nicer guy than Ultimate Cap.
Nightcrawler defends his friend and brings up how many lives Colossus has saved (Proteus doesn't come up but in killing one man how many lives did he save in one moment? Or Magneto when he almost destroyed the X-Men and the World?)
Nice moment actually.
Colossus quits the X-Men which he wasn't on anyway since he quit a while back and didn't join up until this issue which is implied to take place real soon after Apocalypse's arc since Xavier is still resting from his battle with the bio-armored Sinister/Apoc/Thing.
Cyclops catches up with Colossus and says he wants to join him in fighting Alpha Flight.
...That would, in my mind, be awesome. Cyclops and Colossus versus five super powered mutants with government ties. Ultimate strength and ultimate tactics together! That would be cool.
Colossus asks why. Cyke says they must stick together, all of them, because Jean now poses a threat to the team. She flew off and reappeared without warning soon after without ever explaining herself. He's worried they'll have to put her down and he's convinced that they would lose that battle. So they need to stick together and always work on teamwork and tactics for when (not if) they must fight Jean (Ultimatum will have Dark Phoenix, I know that now).
Colossus agrees and then....says...
"But we're not alone."
Final splash page....and ugh...bah....****ty ****ty storytelling.
Standing behind Colossus is Angel, Dazzler, Rogue, and Nightcrawler...they had all agreed to help....and agreed to become MGH druggies in order to fight Alpha Flight.
Fight fire with fire, despite being said many times to be a deadly addictive substance...DEADLY ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCE. Colossus loved his teammates just enough to hook them on drugs to fight other cokeheads! Because the Hulk shows nothing can go wrong with taking drugs to increase your strength(and example they should have brought up to counter Pete's Captain America agreement).
Now, from the splash page...here's their new powers (although this isn't 100% it's going off of my X-Knowledge and guesswork).
Angel is a giant Eagle which makes him more useless actually since I don't see how a giant bird can help in a fight...or communicate with his teammates.
Nightcrawler is Blink. He's shown holding Blink's time daggers...spears...things so I'm guessing he has Blink's powers now.
Dazzler's eyes are glowing and she has light protruding arms...things...coming out of her arms along with her normal flesh arms. This helps her...by...not...being able to hide in the dark...or something.
Rogue is Mimic. She has steel skin Colossus standing next to her, glowing eyes from Dazzler, feathers and wings from Angel, and the same purple gas teleport thing from Nightcrawler. So I think its safe to say she's become a sort of Ultimate Mimic gaining the powers of anyone around her.
The twist ending has me torn so much, as do the continuity errors (which I think were going to happen after Kirkman's messed ending to his run), and some of the dialogue about how drugs are bad with only tastes (lip service really) to Colossus's point of view on the subject and comparing it to Captain America and for the greater good.
All of which is tossed out the window when he hooks underaged teenagers into cokeheads and mutating their bodies further, and in Angel's case to a point of utter stupidity and uselessness.
Seriously, he's an Eagle with fists and human-ish legs. It looks terrible.
Of course, this won't last (betting money is that Beast uses Wolverine's cells and the MGH he has from Vindicator and restores them to their original forms, unless it's called Banshee because the character oozes it, in which case they'll find him and form the 'cure' from Banshee.)
I'm so torn on this one guys. I can't think if I liked or disliked it, and other than typing it out here...I haven't really given the thing much thought. Rather forgettable, besides the giant Eagle who can somehow be battle worthy.
