Ultimate Houde

UC's Resident Genetic Recombinator
Apr 14, 2005
Houde's Chili Dog Shack
Ladies and Gentlemen, have you ever been to Venus?

Have you ever seen the rolling hills of the Gregursian Plains? You been to the River of Styxian? Ever gazed about the triple horned rhino, Kourgunite?


Are you Adventurous? Have you ever shot a Harpoon from the deck of a Space Zeppelin? Do you know how to direct a Quantifying Current into the Aquius Ignition Quartz?

Major Timothy Blackwell needs PEOPLE LIKE YOU!

Qualified Candidates need to apply at the Apollo Victoria Theater located at 17 Wilton Rd, London on October 29th, 1875.

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The last Space Zeppelin I was on was lost forever when the space whale it had harpooned slid to the fourth dimension. The crew and I barely made it to the escape cubes in time.
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I can tell you one thing: it's not going to be a musical set on the moon during the 1600s. :(
The invention of the Space Zeppelin, an invention that took the world several decades and millions of dollars to achieve, opened up the vastness of space in the year of 1478. Since then humans have gone throughout our Solar system, colonizing planets to their wills.

The planet of Venus revolted against the humans four years ago. The planet has become a protected one. Humans aren't allowed onto the planet, Venusians aren't allowed out, unless one has money and it exchanges through the correct hands.

Which leads us to the millionaire Major Timothy Blackwell, a hero of the great Neptune conquest of 1850, has decided it's time to hunt these species himself. He has within his employ the greatest exotic game hunter to sail within the blackness of space, Verity Chapman and her trusty mag powered rifle. Other members of his crew are either thrill seeking individualists, magic thermal engineers, or poachers looking for the next big kill. He goes to Venus hoping to bag his next big victory.

This is the story of Major Timothy Blackwell's last big venture.
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~~On the surface of Venus~~

The dusty plateau gave the three individuals standing on it a view of the surroundings. Here the large Gregursian plains meld into the forests of Nidborg, creating a shrubbery which is known to be teeming with Venusian Rhinos, known as Kourgunite, a three diamond horned green skin beast, prized for it's organic diamonds.

One of these figures was looking about the terrain with a pair of oversized binoculars. The person was a female, her hair mostly covered by a wide safari hat, wearing common British hunting clothing. She'd probably be quite attractive, if she put any effort to it, with her lean muscle toned and high cheekbones. Over her shoulder was a mag powered rifle, as always, ready to be used. Next to her was a large dark skinned man, wearing a turban and traditional Indian clothing, and next to him was the Major Timothy Blackwell. An older man now, gaining some weight in the midsection due to years of inactivity and swimming in the larger social circles, he decided it was time to sail the deep reaches of space once more. Of course, as it is with many of the rich people, he believes rules are for the poor and wished to gain access to Venus, and hunt the marvelous creatures himself.

"So," said the Major, "I know you like time to study the terrain and all miss, but any signs of them?"

Verity Chapman continued to stare at the horizon. Two quick flashes of light appeared near the trees of the forest. "It appears they disappeared into the trees Major, it seems that they are scared of our mode of transportation." Verity lifted the binoculars away from her blue grey eyes, and gazed skyward, looking at their ship.

This Space Zeppelin was custom built with design specs supplied by the Major himself. Silver lacing the outside with gold and crystallized shazamites, to protect it from the vacuum of space, slightly larger cabin to accommodate the passengers with bigger tastes in life, and, as with any cruise of any type, a full service bar. Several harpoons where now exposed to the Venusian air, ready for use in the Hunt. "Don't know why, not like we are obvious or anything."

"Oh Ms. Chapman, ever the joker," replied the Major, "Come on, let's get back to the ship. Munbo, bring us back up."

Munbo, the dark skilnned man, walked calmly over ot the skiff by the trio. Stepping aboard, he placed a green crystal into a slot. The machine powered up, leviating slightly off the ground. Verity and the Major got aboard, and Munbo pressed the crystal into the control board, the skiff responded by going higher in the air. Latching the crystal into place, Munbo steered the vessel to the deck. Before thye even landed, a tall blond German man was waiting there, looking annoyed.

"Well?" he said, obviously pissed off as the skiff landed on the deck.

"According to Ms. Chapman here, the game has has retreated further into the forest. Munbo, relay to the Captain our new bearing."

The manservant finished tying the skiff to the deck, and grunted in response.

"Had his tongue cut off during the riots on Jupiter. Good man though." the Major turned his attention to the tall German, "And Gregor, I can see you are still annoyed. Is it the fact that Ms Chapman here outshot you yesterday, or the goulash isn't to your liking?"

"Major Timothy Blackwell, I came on this trip to hunt some Kourgunite, and I didn't pay the exorbitant amount of money you charged for this trip without killing any." The German leaned forward, "And I better hunt some soon."

"If you are done trying to threaten me Gregor, I would walk away now," replied the Major, leaning forward, into Gregor's face, "My ship, my crew, my rules."

They stared at each other, and finally Gregor looked away, "I'll be in the mess hall."

"I'm sorry you had to see that Ms. Chapman," The Major turned to look at her, "I tend to get annoyed with people who think with the wrong muscles in their body."

"Quite alright Major, I grew up with nine brothers, I've seen enough posturing in my life time."

Before the conversation, they both heard a someone shouting out to them. It was Vladimir Alexandrov, the ships magimechanic, and a Russian. His thin frame looked comical with the combination of his mustache, "Major Blackwell, we have a problem Major!"

"My good man Vlad, what is your problem?"

"Someone has messed up the Quasithrogmatic circuit! It's jumbles down there. We are probably only going on quarter power!" shouted Vlad.

Behind Major Timothy Blackwell, Verity smiled.

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