Worst. Movie. Ever.

Hellsbuttmonkey

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What film(s) would you class as the worst films you have ever seen? Really bad titles that make you want to vomit more than Doc Ock with Magnetos powers...


House of the Dead.: This will win my top spot over everything else. It killed my faith in films a little after I saw it. Fair enough, it was a video game adaptation, but Boll could have at least made some kind of effort and not just taken a dump on a reel of film. Everything was bad about this film, and it wasn't even in a "so bad its good" kind of way. It was just painful to watch. The makeup was terrible, the characters were awful, and don't even get me started on the mentally retarded idea to intercut the film with footage from the very dated arcade game. Then was that dreadful idea that when each character died, they would redden the screen and pan around them in slow motion (which was also used a rediculous amount) as the fell. Every, single ****ing time.
I hate this film, I hate the idea of it, and most of all I hate Ewe "I am mentally retarded" Boll.
 

SSJmole

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My list of worst movies ever

Howard the duck
Catwoman
Peter Jackson's Kong
cruel Intentions II
Batman and Robin
Superman Returns
 

Ultimate Houde

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Howard the duck

Shame on you


Wanked it

Peter Jackson's Kong

Wanked it

Again

cruel Intentions II

Well, wanked it to this one too

Batman and Robin

MMMMMmmmmm Bat nipples.

SCORE!

Superman Returns

Never saw it.

Now, my pick would be Shark Attack 3, which had the best pick up line ever.

The scene, this man best's friend was just killed by the shark, and his best friend's girl witnessed the murder. They get to shore, and he goes to her.

"So, what to go back to my place, have some popcorn, watch a movie, and let me eat your *****."
 

Gideon Stargrave

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What film(s) would you class as the worst films you have ever seen? Really bad titles that make you want to vomit more than Doc Ock with Magnetos powers...


House of the Dead.: This will win my top spot over everything else. It killed my faith in films a little after I saw it. Fair enough, it was a video game adaptation, but Boll could have at least made some kind of effort and not just taken a dump on a reel of film. Everything was bad about this film, and it wasn't even in a "so bad its good" kind of way. It was just painful to watch. The makeup was terrible, the characters were awful, and don't even get me started on the mentally retarded idea to intercut the film with footage from the very dated arcade game. Then was that dreadful idea that when each character died, they would redden the screen and pan around them in slow motion (which was also used a rediculous amount) as the fell. Every, single ****ing time.
I hate this film, I hate the idea of it, and most of all I hate Ewe "I am mentally retarded" Boll.

To be fair, Erica Durance did go swimming topless in the movie.
 

Lil Brother

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Epic Movie was the worst movie ever, ever, ever, ever.

It even managed to be worse than the Scary Movie series.
 

TheManWithoutFear

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My list of worst movies ever

Howard the duck
Catwoman
Peter Jackson's Kong
cruel Intentions II
Batman and Robin
Superman Returns

Howard the Duck doesn't count because of the era it was made in. A movie adaption of a comic book duck made in the 1980's is excuseable. I never could understand why people were offended by the film.

And Cruel Intentions II had the lesbians in the shower scene right? Giggity.
 

Gideon Stargrave

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The greatest natural disaster in human history:

gigli.jpg
 

moonmaster

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What film(s) would you class as the worst films you have ever seen? Really bad titles that make you want to vomit more than Doc Ock with Magnetos powers...


House of the Dead.: This will win my top spot over everything else. It killed my faith in films a little after I saw it. Fair enough, it was a video game adaptation, but Boll could have at least made some kind of effort and not just taken a dump on a reel of film. Everything was bad about this film, and it wasn't even in a "so bad its good" kind of way. It was just painful to watch. The makeup was terrible, the characters were awful, and don't even get me started on the mentally retarded idea to intercut the film with footage from the very dated arcade game. Then was that dreadful idea that when each character died, they would redden the screen and pan around them in slow motion (which was also used a rediculous amount) as the fell. Every, single ****ing time.
I hate this film, I hate the idea of it, and most of all I hate Ewe "I am mentally retarded" Boll.
Oh my lord, did House of the Dead suck.

Wasn't there a twenty minute fight sequence that was essentially just people jumping through the air while being filmed in slo-mo Matrix camera work? I seem to remember a ridiculous amount of shots where the camera would just fly around someone suspended in midair for like, 30 seconds.
Peter Jackson's Kong
Superman Returns
**** you.

On both accounts.
Here ya go: Gymkata and Scarecrow Gone Wild. The latter movie guest stars Ken Shamrock.
GYMKATA IS TEH GREATEST MOVIE EVER!!!

There was a whole thread about it.

GYMTAKAPUMMELHORSEKICKASS2.gif


GYMTAKAPUMMELHORSEKICKASS1.gif


GYMTAKACARTWHEELRIGHTINTOYOURFACE.gif


GYMTAKAFLAGNINJA.gif
 

Iceshadow

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GYMKATA IS TEH GREATEST MOVIE EVER!!!

There was a whole thread about it.

GYMTAKAPUMMELHORSEKICKASS2.gif


GYMTAKAPUMMELHORSEKICKASS1.gif


GYMTAKACARTWHEELRIGHTINTOYOURFACE.gif


GYMTAKAFLAGNINJA.gif

I know, I'm the one who started that thread.:D
Remember bad doesn't equal unfunny.
Actually, Gymkata is now on DVD, and if you watch it with friends you can MST3K the hell out of it.:twisted:

GYMTAKAPUMMELHORSEKICKASS1.gif


I really wish I could make that my avatar.
 
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E

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By far, no question, undoubtedly, the worst movie I have ever seen is Bicentennial Man.

I mean, WTF this is just Pinnochio with lasers.

I'm sure Gigli and Catwoman were worse but I haven't see them. So i can't comment.

By Bicentennial Man...Robin Williams deserves the death penalty for that stinker.
 

Zombipanda

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Howard the Duck doesn't count because of the era it was made in. A movie adaption of a comic book duck made in the 1980's is excuseable. I never could understand why people were offended by the film.

And Cruel Intentions II had the lesbians in the shower scene right? Giggity.

I couldn't say it better myself.... on either counts.

Also, how can ANYONE not like Mars Attack? losers...

The worst movie ever made is an old 1972 made-for-TV movie called Gargoyles..... For that matter, there's about 3,000 made-for-TV movies that are worse than anything that's ever hit a theater.
 

SSJmole

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Howard the Duck doesn't count because of the era it was made in. A movie adaption of a comic book duck made in the 1980's is excuseable. I never could understand why people were offended by the film.

And Cruel Intentions II had the lesbians in the shower scene right? Giggity.


yes it did.

and the Howard the duck thing I can understand about the time it was made but it is still a very very bad movie

**** you.

On both accounts.


:lol: You wish.


But nah seriously what? They are both bad bad C movies with a big budget.
 

Planet-man

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Also, how can ANYONE not like Mars Attack? losers...

I know! Seriously, I love that film.


The two that always spring to mind for me are:


The Truth About Charlie - From a couple years ago, with Mark Wahlberg and Thandie Newton. A remake of one of my all-time favourite films, Charade(which starred Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, and Walter Matheau), but so horribly directed and paced I couldn't believe it. The DVD we rented had Charade on the other side, and halfway through TTAC, we turned it off and switched sides to watch Charade, which we hadn't seen in a while.

Long story short, make it your business to go see Charade. It's one of the greatest whodunits ever made. Avoid TTAC like the plague.


Hulk - Ang Lee achieved something thought to be nigh impossible: making a worse superhero movie than Batman & Robin. Why is it worse? Because while B&R is awful, Hulk is awful and BORING, which is a much worse cinematic crime.

Hulk also holds the honour of being, quite easily, the worst directed movie I've ever seen. Yep.
 

Zombipanda

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I know! Seriously, I love that film.


The two that always spring to mind for me are:


The Truth About Charlie - From a couple years ago, with Mark Wahlberg and Thandie Newton. A remake of one of my all-time favourite films, Charade(which starred Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, and Walter Matheau), but so horribly directed and paced I couldn't believe it. The DVD we rented had Charade on the other side, and halfway through TTAC, we turned it off and switched sides to watch Charade, which we hadn't seen in a while.

Long story short, make it your business to go see Charade. It's one of the greatest whodunits ever made. Avoid TTAC like the plague.


Hulk - Ang Lee achieved something thought to be nigh impossible: making a worse superhero movie than Batman & Robin. Why is it worse? Because while B&R is awful, Hulk is awful and BORING, which is a much worse cinematic crime.

Hulk also holds the honour of being, quite easily, the worst directed movie I've ever seen. Yep.

Exactly. What we need to look for is BORING movies, because most movies that are genuinely awful are at least entertaining.
 

ourchair

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Hulk - Ang Lee achieved something thought to be nigh impossible: making a worse superhero movie than Batman & Robin. Why is it worse? Because while B&R is awful, Hulk is awful and BORING, which is a much worse cinematic crime.

Hulk also holds the honour of being, quite easily, the worst directed movie I've ever seen. Yep.
Clearly you are exaggerating.

I hated Hulk when it first came out, but as time passed, I began to understand it more. I still think it was poorly done, but it is by no means anywhere close to watching the worst film ever.

I mean, have you SEEN Alone in the Dark? I thought they were exaggerating when they said Uwe Boll was a **** director, but they weren't kidding!
 

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