Favorite Lines from Comics.

Nurhachi

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TheManWithoutFear said:
Spider-Man: Well, if you ever need help (and you know I mean this) Call the X-Men! I have a hot wife at home. I so don't need to be here

Iron Fist:
Does he have a hot wife?

Luke Cage: I thought he was gay.

Iron Fist: So did I.

Luke Cage:
And you wear little yellow booties.

Iron Fist: They were a present.

Luke Cage: From a guy.

Iron Fist: ... I'm leaving.

lol whats that from?
 

E

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TheManWithoutFear said:
Spider-Man: Well, if you ever need help (and you know I mean this) Call the X-Men! I have a hot wife at home. I so don't need to be here

Iron Fist:
Does he have a hot wife?

Luke Cage: I thought he was gay.

Iron Fist: So did I.

Luke Cage:
And you wear little yellow booties.

Iron Fist: They were a present.

Luke Cage: From a guy.

Iron Fist: ... I'm leaving.

Hilarious. :lol:
 

Bass

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I love the Captain's "France" line, as well as my signiature.

But, I dunno, there is just something wonderful about how Ellis writes the Fantastic Four (especially the Thing):

"I told you, man. His name was E-Vill."
"Was not."
"Your translator thingy called him, like, Annihilate or Nihilism or something. I mean, there's your frickin' clue train, pulled right up to the station."

- Thing and Reed

"Come on, then. I'm waiting to kill you.
- Dr. Doom

"This is seriously cool. What's it called?"
"I'm not going to tell you what it's called."
"C'mon, man. What'd you call it?"
"I was, like, thirteen years old, Johnny."
"Give."
"I called it the
'fantasti-car'."
"Dude, that stinks."
"Reed, you suck. You beyond suck."
"You fantasti-suck, dude."
"I was thirteen!"
"C'mon, Ben, let's find the fantastic-door and have a fantasti-look inside."
"Yeah. I wanna see if it has a fantasti-can."
"Think it has a fantasti-chair for your butt?"
"You can eat my fantasti--"
"I was thirteen!"

- Johnny, Reed, and the Thing

What I love is the pay off half a dozen issues later:

"This is so awesome. How do we fly it?"
"Using a similar system to the..."
"Don't say it."
"... The Fantasti-car."
"Reed, you are not naming this thing when we get it, you hear?"
"Why?"
"Your names suck."
"They do not."
"We should let Johnny name it."
[The shuttle has the name "AWESOME" sprayed across its side.]
"I could kill you."

- Johnny, Reed, Dr Storm, and Sue

I'm really surprised at UFF. I really didn't think I was going to like it, but I'm in love with these characters now.

I have to say, I think Ellis is a master at writing the team book.
 

TheManWithoutFear

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Bullseye

Bullseye: "You're good but I'm magic"

Bullseye: "Business is bad. I need work. No one's hiring freelance anymore. No one can pay my fee. I'm back to killing for fun again. And that, that's not good for anybody. I need goals. I'm goal oriented."

Creak
Milla: "Matt? Matt, are you being a silly boy?"
EEEK (Shows Bullseye walking out of the shadows)
Bullseye: "And Christmas comes early.... A blind girl? Is that what this is? Is that right? Blind girl. Wow that's too good. This is, this is very exciting. See, with the other two I never really go to enjoy it. I never got to spend the time and savor the flavor. Oh, I know they did their job and all. I know I got under his skin. But it was always in the heat of something else. This, This is something to really enjoy... I mean he of all people will appreciate the amount of passion I'm going to inject into this. But uh, you have to promise me something... I want you to tell me what you -"
(Dardevil surprises Bullseye and flies back into the room through the window)
Daredevil: "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
(Daredevil tosses Bullseye out the window and they take the fight to the street)
Bullseye: "Aahh, you little ninja *****! I can't believe you got the jump on me."
 

Nurhachi

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I thought DDs line in UXM was hilarious. When people are shooting at Wolvie and Spidey and DD comes up, and with the stone cold look on his face he says "Get out of my kitchen!" I dont know if you guys thought it was funny or not, but i thought it was hilarious.

GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN B****
 

Nurhachi

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Amazing Spider-Man (v2) #51

Peter Parker, Mary Jane are at a fancy restaurant when a snobby waiter comes up:


WAITER: What would sir like for his entree?

PETER: Steak Tartare. Well Done.

WAITER: I believe sir might be mistaken. Streak Tartare is prepared uncooked. If sir would prefer, I could have someone run across the street and return with a happy meal.

PETER: I know! Bring me a hammer, twelve oysters and twelve teeny tiney revolvers. That way at least it'll be a fair fight. Poor bastards. In fact make it a ball peen hammer. Im feeling lucky.

WAITER: Perhaps I should return later when sir is on the same dimensional plane--

PETER: No...it's ok...make it a steak. Two New York Steaks. Medium-well. We're celebrating. My wife has come back to me.

WAITER: She must have forgotten the keys to the car...


Later in Amazing Spider-Man #502. Peter and MJ return to that restaurant, and the same waiter. (This ones funnier)

MJ: And i'll have the salmon salad.

WAITER: Very good, madam, and to drink?

MJ: Iced Tea.

WAITER: And you sir?

PETER: Can I get a burger or something? I know its not on the menu but...

WAITER: I'm sure the chef can approximate a burger, if that is what sir prefers.

PETER: Sir prefers.

WAITER: And to drink?

PETER: Coffee.

WAITER: I believe sir misunderstood. Would you care for something to DRINK?

PETER: Yes, I'll have a coffee.

WAITER: Sir...

PETER: Do you HAVE coffee?

WAITER: Coffee is considered by the cafe to be an AFTER-lunch beverage. To be served with perhaps a nice chocolate mousse or a creme brulee, should sir be so inclined--unless sir would prefer a popsicle which I'm sure we can find at the local 7-eleven--but in the happy interim, the cafe considers a during-lunch or dinner drink to be a, well, a drink, a Margarita, a martini, perhaps a cola...

PETER: I...want...a...cup...of...coffee...right now.

WAITER: Very well, sir knows best what sir wants; nonetheless coffee is not a drink, it's a beverage.

PETER: Yeah and you're a...

MJ: Peter.--
 

ourchair

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I'm not wholly satisfied with the way the Doom arc turned out in Ultimate Fantastic Four, but I loved how well developed the character was through the dialogue. He gets some of my favorite lines in Ultimate Fantastic Four # 7:
“I was perfect. I have always been perfect. You were never perfect. Scrawny little effort of a man. You never understood that science is an art, not a system.

Modern science comes from Descartes, who said that the conquest of nature is achieved through measurement and number. Do you know how he came to that realization?

He had a psychedelic experience with mushrooms in which an angel told him this was so.”​
 

Friday

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Mr Terrific: You had grenades! In your jacket! But we were havin dinner!
Batman: And now we're fighting the undead. Move your ***.

Rhino: I'm Rhino. I knock things down. That's what I do. That's who I am.

Jessie Custer: You! Where the **** is your chin!

more to come as I dig them up.
 

Bass

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Nurhachi said:
WAITER: And to drink?

PETER: Coffee.

WAITER: I believe sir misunderstood. Would you care for something to DRINK?

PETER: Yes, I'll have a coffee.

There is a very similar line in Babylon 5's fifth season (also written by J Michael Straczynski) where a snooty waiter asks the alcholic Michael Garibaldi if he would want a drink, and Garibaldi responds that he wants coffee, to wit, the waiter askes if he's misunderstood.

In fact, there a lot of little bits here and there in all of JMS' comics that were also in Babylon 5.

Not a criticism, just a bit of trivia. :D
 

Ice

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X-men #168

This is from today's issue, and I found this very funny. Just to let you know, this happened in L.A.



Wolverine: Been lookin' all over for you.

Frankie (mutant): Is that THE Wolverine? Or some kind of...actor? You never know in this town.

Mutant: I think it's him.

Frankie: It's just that he looks so short in real life!

*Wolverine slices off fingers/claws*

Wolverine: Think you're confusing me with Tom Cruise.
 

Friday

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Guijllons said:
Well, I was just browsing this interweb thing the kids are al crazy about, and I found this nugget of deadpool action.. made me smile :)
Oo

Anyway, from my recent Moon Knight exploration

Moon Knight: It's the hulk! And the Thing! And...Uh....

Strong Guy: Strong Guy.

Moon Knight: I'm sure you are.
 

Ice

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From Astonishing X-Men #9.

From the mouth of Wolverine, after part of the house getting destroyed...again:



"Next time guys...

...we make the hous outta lego's."



:lol:
 

iceman

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Human Torch gloating/making fun of Spiderman, Spiderman sneaking up on Human Torch

SM: Gloves ... leave no ... fingerprints.



Those 2 issues of FF were the funniest issues ever.
 

jtg3885

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I love most of issue 5 of Ultimates, because Hulk is hilarious. Two big favorites though...

"According to the sat-pics, he's murdered dozens of people, drunk a truck full of beer and, right now, looks like he's stealing a huge pair of pants from a fat corpse, Giant Man." - Nick Fury

"Hey, Banner! Betty Ross got a rack as nice as these?" - Janet Pym
 

Irish_4204

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I really enjoyed the Bruce Banner's lines about the afterlife in issue 3 of Ultimates 2.
 

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