G.I. Joe: Rise Of Cobra

Right.

So... they felt a good way to start this movie is by doing the Paris scene from TEAM AMERICA?!

Really?

And then, the accelerator suits look like a video game toy commercial. Now, I know GI JOE is a big toy franchise, but couldn't a little subtlety be used in just how toy-riffic they look? And... do you really want them to look like plastic figures when this looks like, I swear to God, TEAM AMERICA?

I suppose Baroness not having her proper accent doesn't really matter any more.

It's a live action TEAM AMERICA. That thinks it's serious.

This is going to go very badly, isn't it?
 
Right.

So... they felt a good way to start this movie is by doing the Paris scene from TEAM AMERICA?!

Really?

And then, the accelerator suits look like a video game toy commercial. Now, I know GI JOE is a big toy franchise, but couldn't a little subtlety be used in just how toy-riffic they look? And... do you really want them to look like plastic figures when this looks like, I swear to God, TEAM AMERICA?

I suppose Baroness not having her proper accent doesn't really matter any more.

It's a live action TEAM AMERICA. That thinks it's serious.

This is going to go very badly, isn't it?

It's going to make Team America look like The Dark Knight.


I actually flinched when Baroness started talking.
 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so lucky I'm not really a GI Joe fan.

From the other side of the fence, it's pretty damn funny.

You know, they hired Marlon Wayans because of his performance in Requiem For a Dream. Ah, if Aronofsky could see him now....
 
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I'm not sure how I feel about this.



On one hand I'm trying to stay optimistic because its hard to take a live-action popcorn film based on a 80s cartoon that involved a sailor with a beard and parrot.

On the other hand...I'm hoping the film itself doesn't take itself too seriously. And I'm cringing at mech-suits.




I don't know. I hated Transformers when it first came out....but I grew to love it on DVD.
 
I just saw the full-length trailer.

That is a really stupid looking movie.

It's like they made a sequel to Stealth.
 
And where the hell is Cobra Commander in all this?

This is going to be a big ****ing cocktease. At the end of the movie, Destro will become Destro, Cobra Commander will become Cobra Commander.

Well **** that. It's one thing to have a prequel where your HEROES become the hero, but it's another to have a prequel where your VILLAINS DON'T EVEN EXIST YET.

Man, THE DARK KNIGHT would've been so much more awesome if it had been all about Jack Napier and at the end he falls into some acid, comes out laughing, FADE OUT OH NOES HEATH LEDGER IS DEAD WE'VE WAZTED TEHZ JOHKER!

Remember GOLDEN COMPASS? "Yeah, we'll make two sequels". You won't if you make a ****ty movie that doesn't do anything.

I want Cobra Commander and Destro from the start!
 
The accelerator suits and that green acidy stuff that melts the Eiffel Tower is just plain stupid. The only reason they made this movie was to capitalize on the success of Bay's Transformers movies (even if they were talking about making a GI Joe movie before a Transformers one, it was only after Transformers came out that they actually decided to push the project forward).


Wikipedia said:
Brendan Fraser plays a motorcycle-riding sergeant, who is not Gung-Ho as has been rumored, whom he dubbed a "refugee from the Village People". Fraser claimed the character is a descendant of Rick O'Connell from The Mummy, thus linking both of Sommers' films. Fraser said that he asked to have a cameo in the film after producer Bob Ducsay told him that the project had been green-lit.
 
Most of that chase scene in Paris can be watched here (it's in French though): http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/07/gi_joe_a_real_french-dubbed_hero.php

Except for a few scenes of Snake Eyes, this is God awful looking, I mean did really have to CGI the whole chase scene? And couldn't have they made it look, you know, real(ish)?This comment sums it up pretty well:

Okay: so they can dodge rockets but they're still not fast enough to catch up with a Hummer? They're not even faster than Snake Eyes, so why even use the suits? You already have a vehicle. Why get out of the van to chase someone one foot? Plus Snake Eyes is under the Hummer and Duke decides to shoot a missile at it? That's teamwork. And Snake Eyes: why not try and cut the fuel line or something while you're under there? I think all three of them got upstaged by Scarlett, which should never, ever happen.

I just saw the full-length trailer.

That is a really stupid looking movie.

It's like they made a sequel to Stealth.

I wish that's all this was.

EDIT: youtube has rest of the chase (in English).
[youtube]qrE-ITNvXC8&feature=related[/youtube]
 
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Saw this tonight. I'm going to keep this brief, cause I am tired. I'll start with what I didn't like... 1.) At times the CGI in this was just horrible, 2.) they play "Boom Boom Pow" by the Black Eyed Peas over the end credits. This is just wrong. And really that's all that i didn't like...I liked the rest. This is a movie that doesn't take itself too seriously. It knows what it is, a high octane summer popcorn movie. And really how could it be anything else, you have characters called Destro, Baroness, Snake Eyes...I mean there's no way this is going to be high drama. But then again what do I know? I'll admit that I really know nothing about the GI Joe mythos or the cartoons, so that right there is probably going to make some of you dismiss my review. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this movie is what it is, a crazy balls to the wall action flick that doesn't try to be anything else. I find it kind of refreshing that it didn't take itself too seriously. The "Joes" are pretty badass and the members of Cobra are pretty cool. All in all it was a lot of fun and had some pretty good acting all around. Just don't think about it too hard.
 
Saw this tonight. I'm going to keep this brief, cause I am tired. I'll start with what I didn't like... 1.) At times the CGI in this was just horrible, 2.) they play "Boom Boom Pow" by the Black Eyed Peas over the end credits. This is just wrong. And really that's all that i didn't like...I liked the rest. This is a movie that doesn't take itself too seriously. It knows what it is, a high octane summer popcorn movie. And really how could it be anything else, you have characters called Destro, Baroness, Snake Eyes...I mean there's no way this is going to be high drama. But then again what do I know? I'll admit that I really know nothing about the GI Joe mythos or the cartoons, so that right there is probably going to make some of you dismiss my review. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this movie is what it is, a crazy balls to the wall action flick that doesn't try to be anything else. I find it kind of refreshing that it didn't take itself too seriously. The "Joes" are pretty badass and the members of Cobra are pretty cool. All in all it was a lot of fun and had some pretty good acting all around. Just don't think about it too hard.

I read that
Cobra Commander doesn't actually get his title 'till the end of the movie, and that Destro doesn't get...."transformed" 'till the end of the movie.
That seems kind of stupid (I know it's a Cobra origin story though).
 
I read that
Cobra Commander doesn't actually get his title 'till the end of the movie, and that Destro doesn't get...."transformed" 'till the end of the movie.
That seems kind of stupid (I know it's a Cobra origin story though).

That's true. I really didn't mind though.
 
Yeah, this is definitly a "wait for DVD so I can download it for free on a torrent site" for me. I even have a free pass to my local movie theater I've been trying to use up for months, and I wouldn't bother with this.

And I say this as someone who loved GI Joe as a kid (preferred them to the Transformers).

Accelerator suits...really?
 

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