Houde's Ultimate Baby Advice Thread

[Ultimate Houde]

So the end of my current life, and the beginning of whatever comes after is coming in three months. The kid's room has been painted, the new carpet is down, and dog has began to flip out cause she has realized something is coming.

It's on the horizon. The only problem that still looms.

I KNOW NOTHING OF CHILDREN.

And I figure people have some good advice to give.

So lay it on me, what's your advice to a father who never wanted to be, for a child that has defied nature to show up anyways.

 

[Gaucho]

As a father of a 2 years old (and 3 months) big boy the only thing I can say is your life will change 180 degrees, there's no more time for yourself anymore (and yes, that includes comics reading) but... and this is a big BUT, nothing will be more important in your life than your kid, sounds cliche, I know, and everybody told me the same then, but when you have your own kid in your arms nothing else really matters, believe me because it's true.

 

[J. Agamemnon]

you'll never be ready, no matter how prepared you think you are.

 

[ProjectX2]

I hope you've bought a gun.

You're going to need it.

 

[Ice]

I work with kids every day, so even though I have none of my own, I do know that having patience helps a lot.

 

[Ultimate Houde]

As a father of a 2 years old (and 3 months) big boy the only thing I can say is your life will change 180 degrees, there's no more time for yourself anymore (and yes, that includes comics reading) but... and this is a big BUT, nothing will be more important in your life than your kid, sounds cliche, I know, and everybody told me the same then, but when you have your own kid in your arms nothing else really matters, believe me because it's true.

That's good to hear, cause at this point the kid has nothing going for it.

you'll never be ready, no matter how prepared you think you are.

I expected more from you.

FAIL.

I hope you've bought a gun.

You're going to need it.

I got throwing knives, that good enough?

I work with kids every day, so even though I have none of my own, I do know that having patience helps a lot.

Well, we all know I have this in spades.

HAHAHAHAH! Just kidding, I ain't got no patience.

 

[E]

you'll never be ready, no matter how prepared you think you are.

This is actually the only advice you need. J. knows this, and I'm pretty sure his kid is still an infant.

Just make sure you know how to change a diaper. Everything else you learn as you go, because believe it or not the kid is a person and will develop a preference for how certain things are done that most likely will not align with yours. This ranges from how s/he likes to be held, what time they sleep, and even how you position him/her when you burp them. And that's just for infants; as they get older these things change exponentially.

Also, learn the 5 Ses. Vital.

 

[Seldes Katne]

I've never had children, and I don't really start working with youngsters until they're around three years old, so the baby phase is still a mystery to me. The best I can do for you right now is send or recommend some books. If your mailing address hasn't changed, I might be able to ship you some stuff this weekend.

If you are on good terms with either or both sets of your parents, ask them for advice. (You don't have to take it, mind you, and some of it may be outdated, but those folks have the experience.)

Oh, and ask E if you can put him on speed-dial for emergency assistance. ;-)

 

[J. Agamemnon]

I prepared as much as I could, and yeah E., he's 15 months. I did OT up the butt, I stopped buying luxury stuff to save money, i have great insurance through work. none of that mattered b/c now I'm broke all the time and barely able to afford the equipment i need for my podcasts. But the kid is ****ing awesome. I can only hope and make sure he's 10 times the person I am.

 

[Ultimate Houde]

Also, learn the 5 Ses. Vital.

I have no idea what this refers too.

I've never had children, and I don't really start working with youngsters until they're around three years old, so the baby phase is still a mystery to me. The best I can do for you right now is send or recommend some books. If your mailing address hasn't changed, I might be able to ship you some stuff this weekend.

If you are on good terms with either or both sets of your parents, ask them for advice. (You don't have to take it, mind you, and some of it may be outdated, but those folks have the experience.)

Oh, and ask E if you can put him on speed-dial for emergency assistance. ;-)

E would probably yell at me for not texting him.

I have sent you my new address if you feel so inclined.

I prepared as much as I could, and yeah E., he's 15 months. I did OT up the butt, I stopped buying luxury stuff to save money, i have great insurance through work. none of that mattered b/c now I'm broke all the time and barely able to afford the equipment i need for my podcasts. But the kid is ****ing awesome. I can only hope and make sure he's 10 times the person I am.

hehehehe You said up the butt, hehehehe.

I don't have great insurance, I have sucky insurance, I need to look into getting my own.

Seriously, UHC sucks all sorts of ass.

 

[E]

Oh, and ask E if you can put him on speed-dial for emergency assistance. ;-)

That would be amusing. I smell a book deal.

I can only hope and make sure he's 10 times the person I am.

This. One thing I could not have been prepared for - the constant stress and struggle and worry over whether or not you're screwing your kid up.

I have no idea what this refers too.

This article recommends it specifically for colic but it works for any baby.

 

[Ultimate Houde]

This. One thing I could not have been prepared for - the constant stress and struggle and worry over whether or not you're screwing your kid up.

Is it weird that I'm not worried about this one bit?

 

[E]

Is it weird that I'm not worried about this one bit?

The very fact that you don't worry about it means, you should.

 

[J. Agamemnon]

Is it weird that I'm not worried about this one bit?

I did the same thing. Prepare to be yelled at by everyone.

The very fact that you don't worry about it means, you should.

And that's what worries me.

 

[Ultimate Houde]

The very fact that you don't worry about it means, you should.

This just sounds like a Catch 22 here. So I'm not going to worry about it.

 

[Captain Canuck]

First: I find it hilarious that there's an ad for diaper rash cream on this thread.

Second: Just make sure that your kid NEVER finds out about this:

...a father who never wanted to be, for a child that has defied nature to show up anyways.

That will probably crush the kid.

 

[Jaggyd]

Four words; Kill it with fire


No seriously, just know that there's no manual, sometimes they'll piss you off, other times they'll make you proud. Plus, no matter how much they act like you're an evil dictator, they still love you.

Wow, that came off more "greeting card philosophy" than intended.

 

[Friday]

Four words; Kill it with fire


No seriously, just know that there's no manual, sometimes they'll piss you off, other times they'll make you proud. Plus, no matter how much they act like you're an evil dictator, they still love you.

Wow, that came off more "greeting card philosophy" than intended.

Awwwwwww. Jaggyds got s soft spot.

 

[Jaggyd]

Awwwwwww. Jaggyds got s soft spot.

I'll be honest, the whole not being able to have babies thing makes me a bit weak to the power of kids.

 

[Captain Canuck]

I'll be honest, the whole not being able to have babies thing makes me a bit weak to the power of kids.

this is a SUPER personal question, so feel free to ignore it...or verbally slap me

Are artificial means of getting pregnant totally out of the question for you?