Law & Order: UC Episode 6

Ultimate Houde

UC's Resident Genetic Recombinator
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LawandorderCoverEps6.jpg

(On the cover is Victor Von Doom and Ice)

Where is Bass? Missing for the past two months, Houde begins to get worried, not for Bass himself, but for the fact Bass owes him some money and he wants it. Teaming up with Victor Von Doom (VVD) of the SWAT team, and Ice, Houde begins his search in places over the border. It's a foriegn country hopping installment of Law & Order!
 

Victor Von Doom

Fist of teh Internets.
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:rockon:

*Sings SWAT theme song*


Ne-ne-neeeh! Ne-ne-neeeh! Ne-ne-neeeeh-nuh!
Ne-ne-neeeh! Ne-ne-neeeh! Ne-ne-neeeeh-nuh!
 

Ultimate Houde

UC's Resident Genetic Recombinator
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Messages
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DUN DUN

Houde: Where they hell does that noise come from man? It's even on the damn PA system now?
MWoF: Ever since E hired that new annoucer, it always happens.
Nurhachi: Hey, where is Bass anyways?
Houde: I have no freaking clue, and it's getting me really worried right now.
MWoF: Why?
Houde: Because he owes me five bucks, that rat bastard.
Nurhachi: For what?
Houde: A bet we made two months ago

---

Houde and Bass stood in front of Hawkeye101. He was holding a donut on a string, and trying to eat it.

Houde: Five bucks says he never figures it out by the end of today.
Bass: You're on

---

Nurhachi: How did you know you won?

Hawkeye101 delivered a message to Houde's desk, says hi to the guys, and walks off.

Still trying to eat the donut on the string.

Houde: The guy is a dumbass, it's a good thing he was demoted to mailperson.
MWoF: It's a mailman.

From across the precinct came a scream.

Skotti: OH, WOMAN CAN'T DELIVER MAIL?
MWoF: Oh crap, why didn't anyone warn me she was here...
Houde: Nur, look at this.

Houde hands Nur the package he just got. Inside of it was a picture of a hand.

Nur: Weird.
Houde: There's a note as well.

Skotti ran across the precinct, practically tacklng MWoF off the desk.

MWoF: HELP! HELP!
Skotti: I will gouge your eyes out! You sexist pig!
MWoF: But I like girls...
Skotti: I don't care!

As Skotti tried to pull off MWoF's arms, Nurhachi and Houde studied the note.

Houde: To find out what happened to this man, follow these clues...
Nurhachi: It's a picture of a hand, how is that a clue?
Houde: Behind it, it's a picture of London bay.
Nurhachi: Do you know whose hand it is?
Houde: No, but this may be the clue we are waiting for.
Nurhachi: Go talk to E
Houde: Your not coming?
Nurhachi: No, after Skotti is done with MWoF, I'll probably need to take him to the hospital.
Houde: Okay, make sure the janitor cleans the mess too. Dried blood is a ***** to get out.

Houde headed towards E's office.

MWoF continued to struggle.

MWoF: HELP ME! SOMEONE!
Skotti: I'M GOING TO RIP IT OFF!
MWoF: NO NO

A sound of tearing was heard.

MWoF: MY BADGE! YOU RIPPED IT OFF MY UNIFORM!

~~~

E's Office

Houde: E, you got a minute.
E: Yeah, what is it?
Houde: I'm going to need some time off.
E: What for?
Houde: To figure out this.

Houde throws his package on E's desk (There's a sentence I thought would never be typed out).

E: This is strange.
Houde: Why?
E: Cause, Bass got the same package. Listen, I'm not sending you out there alone.

He calls on his phone downstairs.

Minutes later, tear gas comes crashing through the window.

E: I think I need to tell my SWAT team to calm down for a minute.
Houde: I guess.

VVD crashes through E's door, wearing a gas mask, and holding a gun.

VVD: Hands on the ground!
E: VVD, calm down, I need to accompany Houde
VVD: I SAID HANDS DOWN.
E: This is getting ridiculous. VVD! TAKE OFF THE DAMN GAS MASK, PUT YOUR GUN DOWN, AND SO HELP ME I WILL SHOOT YOU MYSELF

VVD looks around, and takes off the mask.

VVD: Oops, sorry boss.
E: Your too dedicated.
Houde: Actually E, I would like to take someone else also.
E: Who?
Houde: Ice.
E: Why?
Houde: Because, it's a plot device.
E: Works for me.

~~~

The Next Day

As the plane took off, one lone person watched it fly. He cried.

Nigma: These are tears of joy, HE'S GONE! HE CAN'T ANNOY ME NOW!
 
Last edited:

Ice

Teh Sexy Monkey Queen
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The World of Icelandia.
Ultimate Houde said:
VVD: Oops, sorry boss.
E: Your too dedicated.
Houde: Actually E, I would like to take someone else also.
E: Who?
Houde: Ice.
E: Why?
Houde: Because, it's a plot device.
E: Works for me.
Hahaha!! :lol:

This series always makes me laugh out loud for real.


Ultimate Houde said:
As the plane took off, one lone person watched it fly. He cried.

Nigma: These are tears of joy, HE'S GONE! HE CAN'T ANNOY ME NOW!
*Ahem*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

There's still a way...right? :(
 

Victor Von Doom

Fist of teh Internets.
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Ultimate Houde said:
VVD crashes through E's door, wearing a gas mask, and holding a gun.

VVD: Hands on the ground!
E: VVD, calm down, I need to accompany Houde
VVD: I SAID HANDS DOWN.
E: This is getting ridiculous. VVD! TAKE OFF THE DAMN GAS MASK, PUT YOUR GUN DOWN, AND SO HELP ME I WILL SHOOT YOU MYSELF

VVD looks around, and takes off the mask.

VVD: Oops, sorry boss.
E: Your too dedicated.


Am I the only one who read this part and immeadiately thought of Tackleberry from Police Academy?

But since I guess I'm based on Sam Jackson I guess I should be saying something like "What ain't no country I ever heard of. Say what one more time!" or "Tell the ***** to be cool!". :lol:

Either way....I love this series.
 

JonnyFreeze

Well-Known Member
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Jun 2, 2005
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uk
depends how u determine bay i guess. still who cares. its good to see an overseas edition.
 

Random

Didn't **** any of those *****es
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Philadelphia, PA
Ultimate Houde said:
Houde and Bass stood in front of Hawkeye101. He was holding a donut on a string, and trying to eat it.

Houde: Five bucks says he never figures it out by the end of today.
Bass: You're on
Houde throws his package on E's desk (There's a sentence I thought would never be typed out).
Damn Houde you are a genius
 

Ultimate Houde

UC's Resident Genetic Recombinator
Joined
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Messages
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Houde's Chili Dog Shack
Tomorrow!

Houde, Ice and VVD land in London, and search for London Bay. At home, Moonmaster is furious, because his henchmen Random and Entropy went off with TOG for a secret mission overseas. Well, he's also pissed the Hills is a sucky version of Laguna Beach.
 

Random

Didn't **** any of those *****es
Joined
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Messages
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Location
Philadelphia, PA
Ultimate Houde said:
Tomorrow!

Houde, Ice and VVD land in London, and search for London Bay. At home, Moonmaster is furious, because his henchmen Random and Entropy went off with TOG for a secret mission overseas. Well, he's also pissed the Hills is a sucky version of Laguna Beach.
YES RANDOM RETURNS!!! Hopefully I won't be dancing and singing this time
 

Ultimate Houde

UC's Resident Genetic Recombinator
Joined
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Houde's Chili Dog Shack
In the Tall Tower

Moonmaster, the crime boss of New York, was watching TV, and eating a bowl of fruit loops.

Suddenly, the fruit loops came spitting out of his mouth, and all over his expensive couch and rug.

Moonmaster: I hate The Hills! It has no Kristen! I WANT LAGUNA BEACH BACK!

He proceeded to throw a tantrum, throwing various objects around, and breaking expensive things in his bedroom. Slamming down on the voice box button, he sent out an order to his butler.

Moonmaster: GET ME TGO! AND ENTROPY, AND THAT RAGTAG RANDOM!

The butler returned a few minutes later.

Butler: They are gone sir.
Moonmaster: Those bastards....cut me some milk.
Butler: Cut milk? How am I suppose to do that?
Moonmaster: Imbecile, first you freeze it then you cut it! Question me again and I shall kill you...twice. NOW GO!

As the butler ran off, Moonmaster sat down, wondering how he can blame Bass for the non-return of Laguna Beach.

Moonmaster: I want to see the real OC again...

~~~

The plane landed down in London.

Of course, this was not without incident. VVD had punched out various people. The first was a guy leaving the bathroom, VVD had decided the man was in the bathroom too long. The second was someone who moved in VVD's side vision. He reacted based on instinct. Then he hit a grandmother because she farted. The last guy deserved it, he tried to steal VVD's inflight catalogue.

The bastard.

Even with these interuptions, the plane landed ahead of schedule. You would too if you had a pyschopath with a loaded fist on your plane as well. VVD was the first off, the other passengers where scared to move while he was around.

VVD: We made it. No casualties so far.
Houde: Well, the grandmother is still in a coma..
VVD: But she isn't dead.
Ice: So, you have a contact here?
Houde: Of course, there is the man over there. GUJI!

A bobby walked over.

Guji: Morning Houde, Ice, and oh my, a geniune black person! Hello!
VVD: I'm punching him.
Houde: You can't, and he's like this with everyone. Punching him would make it worse, and he's our guide.
Guji: Oh, and he thinks he can talk back to white people. So nice.
Ice: Guji! You wanna be my partner?
Guji: Nope
Ice: Come on, it would be like a movie!
Guji: WIth the title being, Ice, and his confusion over the fact he didn't know what carpets where.
Ice: I don't get it
Guji: That's cause I'm smart.
Ice: Oh
Houde: Guji, enough, let's get to London Bay.
Guji: Oh yes my American master, tell me what to do please, cause I'm a stupid foriegner.
Houde: See VVD, I told you he does this to everyone.
VVD: Can't talk...resisting urge to punch....

As the four people left the airport, three more individuals got off the plane. One was wearing a janitor's uniform. One was normal looking, and the other had a giant trophy on his head.

Random: A trophy? That's not very incognito.
Entropy: What? It's smaller than the one I usually wear.
TGO: Keep track of the police gentleman. We need to find the prize.
Entropy: Right.
Random: Freak
Entropy: Donkey lover.
Random: I don't like donkeys!
Entropy: SO now your a specist eh?
TGO: Boys, FOCUS!
 

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