Sensational Spider-Man

Well, Ice... I would say that this is probably one of your weakest yet. The humor took too much time it seemed and the entire issue was sort of jarring, going from one thing to another unusually. I really hate to be a Simon Cowl here because I usually enjoy your X-Men, however, this didn't seem to work for me.
 
Goodwill said:
Well, Ice... I would say that this is probably one of your weakest yet. The humor took too much time it seemed and the entire issue was sort of jarring, going from one thing to another unusually. I really hate to be a Simon Cowl here because I usually enjoy your X-Men, however, this didn't seem to work for me.

Personally, I don't understand what your on about. Your complaining because Spidey cracks jokes? It didn't go from one thing to another unusually at all, the whole time it almost directly followed Spidey around. I enjoyed it and I want to read the next one and I want to know who the villain is.
 
That's fine... I have my opinion you have yours. I'm not saying that I won't give the second a chance, I just wasn't too fond of this one. Don't make it a thing.
 
All in all, this seems like a pretty good set-up, although I'll reserve judgment on that until I see what comes in the next three sections. You have the mysterious note, the equally mysterious man with the gun at the end, and Mary Jane apparently abducted. (That girl really needs to take some martial arts classes, or start carrying an electric cattle prod, or something! :) )

I must say that the verb tenses on this story seem much more consistent, and it was easy to read. The action moved along quite well, and I had no trouble following the story. We'll see what the next installment brings.

I found the opening lines of humor to be particularly amusing, with Spider-man making "small talk" with some guy he's got wrapped up and hanging from a pole. ("Me lady awaits!"? Has Spider-man suddenly acquired an Irish accent? :wink: )

The man got up, and made his way to Peter, by flying up with a jetpack. He took his gun, and pointed at Peter's eye.

"Or you die this very second."
Okay, obviously this guy doesn't read the comic books, because otherwise he would know why threats don't work in these instances. :)

"Do you think anything is missing?" MJ asked Peter, walking around, and cleaning up the mess. Peter looked around, and quickly ran to his bookshelf. He looked through all the books, and took out a science one.

"Pheew. At least my Micro-Biology 3.5 book is still here. This book costs a lot of money!"
I don't know whether to laugh, or to suggest that MJ hit him with that book.... :?

One thing I feel a bit confused about is the universe in which this is set. You have a Spider-man who sounds like he's based on the movie version (since he's in college), but has had Betty Brant as a former girlfriend (is that from the 616 universe?), and in the meantime the Ultimates are around taking out Sentinels. Um, help? :shock:
 
Seldes Katne said:
One thing I feel a bit confused about is the universe in which this is set. You have a Spider-man who sounds like he's based on the movie version (since he's in college), but has had Betty Brant as a former girlfriend (is that from the 616 universe?), and in the meantime the Ultimates are around taking out Sentinels. Um, help? :shock:
This is set in the same universe as my X-Men fic, hence the tie-in with Spider-Man saying:

"Listen, it's been only a couple weeks since that whole Sentinel thing went down. I just got scared seeing one just come out of nowhere, you know? It just freaked me out a bit. Last time I came face to face with one of those, it wanted to kill me."

Yes, he is in colloge. He's 20, as Anna Watson has mentioned. Meaning when he was 17, he dated Betty Brant.

The Ultimates are around.
 
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Hmmm, it was okay. It didn't seem to be as good as your X fics though. Maybe because it's only the first issue? Peter seems stupid to me. He didn't even really care about MJ after the note. He just tushed to Aunt May...
 
Well honestly dude I have to disagree with GW. The dialogue is freaking awesome. The jokes are funny. I think that the book joke was not need but over all, good chapter. Great cliff hanger

p.s. GOODWILL, we are fans not professionals. Dude dont take these things to seriously.
 
I enjoyed this a lot. Good job ice, you really got me intrigued on who the mystery villain is. But....how can peter tell the guy where spiderman is? cuz if hes been held at gunpoint while the other guy goes and checks what peter says...... uh oh. lol.

I dont know if you understood that. But great issue :)
 
Nurhachi said:
I enjoyed this a lot. Good job ice, you really got me intrigued on who the mystery villain is. But....how can peter tell the guy where spiderman is? cuz if hes been held at gunpoint while the other guy goes and checks what peter says...... uh oh. lol.

I dont know if you understood that. But great issue :)
Lol, I understood it. And thanks. :D
 
Coming tomorrow:




Spider-Man2.jpg


Written and cover by: icemastertron




Sensational Spider-Man #2
Web of Lies: Part 2 of 4


MJ is still missing. Peter has no lead to follow on. What will happen when Peter finds something that can actually help him? Guest starring UltimateE!
 
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The cover's a bit distorted but it's much better than last time. Comic covers are always better than movie covers.
 
YAY! UltimateE! While we're at it, did anyone spot my appearance in the first issue?
 
Alright everyone. The second chapter of WEB OF LIES has arrived! Read, enjoy, and post all of your thoughts.











Spider-Man2.jpg



CHAPTER 2:
WEB OF LIES- PART 2 OF 4






"Well, little piggy? You gonna squeal, or what?"

"Look, I don't know where Spider-Man is. It's not like he has a secret headquarters, or anything…" Peter told his capturer, looking straight into the gun's barrel with one eye, and the other on him.

"But yet you seem to take his pictures for the Daily Bugle. Where ever he is, you just seem to be there in the nick of time, huh?" He cocked his gun, getting ready to fire.

Peter was scared a bit now. He could easily just break from the rope that tied his hands, and survive the fall. But then he would expose himself as Spider-Man, since no man can just break through rope, and live on from a big drop.

"So what's it gonna be? You gonna tell me where I can find Spider-Man right now, or do I have to kill you?"

"Wait!" Peter interrupted. "If you kill me, how are you going to find Spider-Man, then?" He asked the capturer, trying to see if he would spare his life.

"Look kid, I don't give a damn about you or Spider-Man. I'm just doing what I was paid to do. And that's either get you to tell me where Spider-Man is, or kill you."

Peter seemed to have gone into drastic thinking. Now it came down to either get killed by this man, or risk everything, and just break loose. What am I going to do?, Peter thought. I can't go and die on Aunt May. I can't let MJ die because of me. I…CAN'T…DIE!

Peter anger for not dying on his loved ones, gave him what he needed to make his decision. He was going to risk it. Peter kicked the man in the face and gut, knocking him down to the ground. Peter then pulled his hands apart, ripping the rope that held his hands together.

He landed on a stack of crates nearby. Without looking back, he escaped by going through some doors that was on the other side of the building. He ran to them, and as he was about to escape, his capturer saw him, and shot at Peter multiple rounds. Luckily for Peter, his Spider-sense warned him of the incoming danger. Peter moved through air as if time was slowing down, allowing him to miss the bullets coming at him. But one bullet had managed to graze Peter's right arm. It only grazed him enough to bleed a bit, but deep enough for it to slow him down.

With all his strength, Peter burst through the doors. Now, holding his arm, trying to hold the bleeding, burst through the doors. He was now outside in the open. It was dark outside. The stars lit the sky, and Peter needed to find a way to get to a hospital. Suddenly, Peter heard a noise, that was both a relief for him, and also not so good.

WEEEEEOOOOOOO WEEEEEOOOOOO

The cops had arrived.

"No way in hell." Peter said to himself. "No way in hell."




"Peter Parker, correct?"

"Yeah, that's me. Who are you?" Peter asked, as the paramedics were bandaging his arm.

"My name is Detective Neil Garrett. I'm here to find out what happened." He told Peter, as he sat down next to him on the ambulance van.

"Find out what exactly? And how did you guys even know to come here, anyways?" Peter asked, while he got up slowly, holding his arm.

"Your Aunt reported you missing, son." Detective Garrett told him, while giving him a confused look.

"But…the cops don't look for anyone missing unless it's been more than 24 hours…"

"Peter, how long do you think it's been since you were taken?"

"Couple of hours, I guess. Why?"

"Peter…you've been gone now for three days."

Peter was shocked at what he heard. He was at awe that he was out cold for three days straight.

"Listen, we had leads that led us here. I really can't say more than that. You know, protocol." Garrett told him, getting up and walking towards the building Peter was kept a prisoner in.

Suddenly, two cops came out with the kidnapper. They held him with his arms twisted behind his back, as the kidnapper screamed at them.

"You'll all pay! Don't think you have won! The game isn't over! Oh no! Not by long shot. He'll come back to get what he wants. Stopping me kill the Parker trash doesn't do anything to his plans! You'll—"

BLAM!

A shot was fired. Everyone laid on the ground, and all the officers had taken out their guns. As they looked around, no one was seen anywhere. But then they noticed that the kidnapper had been shot in the head.

"Everyone else OK?" Garrett asked. Everyone responded with a yes, as they got up, and dusted themselves off. Garrett looked at the dead body as he banged hard on the hood of a car. "Damn it! There goes our suspect."

"Detective Garret?" Peter called out to him.

"What?!…Sorry, what is it?"

"Look, can I just go home now? I don't want to worry my aunt anymore than she already is."

"I'm sorry Peter, but we need to bring you in for questioning, still. I can't just let you go. Our only witness just got killed! You're the only guy we have something to connect to this, so home isn't an option for you at the moment, kid."

"Please! My Aunt, she'll probably get sick if she keeps worrying about me. She's fragile as it is! Look, I'll come down tomorrow or something. Please!"

Detective Garret gave him a nod. "Fine, kid." He said sighing. "But when I call for you, you'll have no choice." He told Peter, and had another officer escort Peter to Aunt May's house.




At that very moment-

"Yes sir, he's taken care of. Shot him right dead on his forehead. Thank you sir. No sir, he and his old partner…Trapster, or whatever his name was, have parted ways. Would you like me to take him out as well? Alright sir. OK, so I'll just keep an eye on Parker. Yes sir. Thank you for trusting the services of…Chameleon…he always hangs up at the end. Stupid business men…"



Aunt May's house-

BOOP. BOOP.

The cop car pulled up at Aunt May's house. Peter exited the house, and ran as fast as he could to the house. He wasted no time, and looked for his keys. Luckily, he still had them. He unlocked the door, and found Aunt May in the living room, crying with an officer trying to comfort her.

"AUNT MAY!" Peter cried to her.

Aunt May looked up. Shocked to see Peter again, she fainted. Luckily, the officer had caught her in time, and put her on the couch.

"Thank you officer. I'll take it from here."




The next morning-


Peter walks into the kitchen of his apartment, with his hair all over the place, as his phone rings.

"Hello?" He asked, answering his phone. "Hi Aunt May. Yes, I'm fine. You don't have to keep calling me every five seconds now. Aunt May, please. Don't be so over-protective now…yes, fine. I'll be over for dinner at seven. Ok, love you too. Bye."

Dinner?! She's thinking of dinner when I still have to find MJ! Good thing it's Saturday. Don't have to worry about skipping class. Wait, was there something else I had to do…? Ah, whatever it was, I'm sure it wasn't anything huge. Time for Spider-Man's morning stroll.



At that very second-


"Where the hell is Peter? Why is he late…again?! He knows we have the mid-term on Tuesday!"

"Calm down, will ya Liz? I'm sure Peter will show up."

"Are you serious Harry?"

"Nah. Screw this. Let's bail. We'll get Peter back later."




12:05 pm-

Three hours and not one solid thing lead I have. No crazy psycho talking to me again. And even if he did, how the hell am I supposed to find out where he has MJ? What the hell can I do now? …Nothing, but have some lunch, 'cause I'm-- Ooooh, Jake's hotdog stand.

Spider-Man swings into an alley to change back into his regular clothes. As he emerges out of he alley, he crosses the street, and heads straight to the hot dog stand.

"Hey Jake. Let me get one with ketchup, mustard, and relish."

"You got it, Pete. So hey, what went wrong with the girl? Too conceited or something?"

Peter gave Jake a dumbfounded look, as he stared at him. He then asked him, "What are you talking about? Me and MJ? We haven't broken up."

"Really? Oh, woopsie. Sorry, it's that, she sure didn't seem like she was with ya anymore." Jake told him as he handed the hotdog over to Peter, and getting the money.

"What are you talking about Jake? You're not making any sense, here." Peter asked him, as he took a bite out of the hot dog.

"Well ya see, yesterday, 'round this time or so, MJ was with this…business guy, I think. They were right over there. At 'Big –La Freak'."

"Big La-Freak? That restaurant that MJ hates? The one with the fake French food and crappy name?"

"Three dollars and fifty cents, ma'am." Jake said to someone else. "Yeah, Peter. The one and only."

"Well, that's odd. I…I gotta go now. Nice talking to you again, Jake." Peter said as he headed towards the restaurant.

"Alright man, take care." He said to Peter. "What will it be sir?"




"Excuse me, sir. The gentlemen must be wearing a jacket at all times, here." An old man, with a freaky mustache told Peter.

"I'm not here to eat. Listen, there was this girl yesterday. Red hair and all. Came in with a business man."

"Sir, that describes so many people. The information is utterly useless."

"They came around this time. Look, I just need to find out who she was with."

"I'm sorry, I still can't help you. Even if I could, I wouldn't be allowed to just give you what you need to know. That is only something officers are supposed to see when needed. Something I see that you are not. So if would be so kind as to leave this place…."

"So you DO admit that you have the information!"

"OUT!"

Peter left in a hurry. He didn't want any trouble.

"Just great. So I finally get something on MJ, and I can't get it to help me find her. Damn, if only I knew how to get that information somehow…WAIT! I can hack into their system. But I don't know how to even hack into a freaking cereal box…"

Suddenly a newspaper flew into Peter's face. As he took it off, he saw it was the Daily Bugle, with Spider-Man on the cover, fighting Sandman in front of a bank. The headline reading: "SPIDER-MAN AND SANDMAN- ROBBING BANK AND FIGHTING EACH OTHER".

Peter sighed at it, but then something came to him. "Hold the phone! I know who knows how to hack! Time to head back to the Bugle!"



The Daily Bugle-

Peter rushed up the stairs from the lobby, all the way to the 15th floor. He would have taken the elevator, except that it was already full, and the other two seemed to have gone out of service, since he last stopped by.

As Peter arrived on the 15th floor, he opened the door to the 'Daily Bugle Online Department'. He went through the floor, looking for his target. He then found him, lying back on his chair, his feet on his desks, hands behind his head, and snoring.

"Erik! Erik wake up!" Peter yelled at him, while shaking him.

"Wha?! Huh?!" Erik jumped up from his chair quickly.

"Erik, it's me, Peter, remember? We talked once at the Christmas party?"

"Ohhhhhh yeaaaaaaah."

"So you remember me?"

"No."

"Well, listen. I need some help. I ah…heard you can…hack into things."

"Listen me amigo, I don't do no "hacky wacky" jobs, comprende? I'm just a web designer for the Daily Bugle."

"Listen, I really need you to help me something. I'll repay any way I can…"

"Hmm…anything? Well, if that's the case, let's see what UltimateE can do for ya."

"Eh?"

"What? It's my online hacker name."

BOOOOOOOOOM!

Out of nowhere, a blast tore a huge whole in the building, in the same floor Peter was in. A figure was coming in, as the dust was settling. The person who emerged, completely shocked Peter.


"Hello boys and girls." The person said.

"Spider-Man has come out to play!"





TO BE CONTINUED…
 
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Wonderful cameo from Jake. Just wonderful. Don't know about this other character though. Whats an UltimateE (sounds like an australian pirate- ultimatey! arr me hearties). Sorry, I'm in a mood and you get to suffer

I like this story because its leading up to something. I think that the villain/s have been picked for a reason. I'm intruiged and looking forward to finding out the identity of the real villain.
 

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