The Cult Of Bass
- Thread starter Hellsbuttmonkey
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moonmaster
Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
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Sweeet.
He does. I E-Mailed him and he said that he needs to think up some commandments.
He also said that my sermon left out the "part with the boobies".
ProjectX2 said:
Controversial New Article Raises Questions About Spirituality In America
A new article in Time Magazine is questioning America's belief in Bass and our following of his teachings.
[IMGL]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y70/moonmaster/Planet-Man2.jpg[/IMGL]A small but growing faction of Basstheists are making their voice heard. One of them, a Canadian man known as "Planet-Man" (left), spoke at a rally today.
"I am sick and tired of the Bassist Right shoving their morals down our throats. Is it a crime to not believe in some silly fantasy? Science has proven time and time again that this 'Bass' is nothing more than a fairy tale!"
As his head flapped on wildly, supporters in the crowd nodded in agreement. "It's just an outdated and ridiculous idea," said Basstheist ProjectX2. "Anyone who believes in Bass must be a complete idiot."
"SMITE THEE SINNERS AND CASTETH THEE INTO HELL!!!," screamed the enraged High Bishop of the Church of Bass, Moonmaster. After calming down, he spoke with us a bit more. "Bass is real. Anyone who thinks he isn't real probably has some sand in his vagina or something. I really don't understand why we're not allowed to enforce corporal punishment against these sinners. I haven't burned someone in years."
Pope Bass himself responded to the protesters yesterday. "I'm real. Seriously. I'm standing right here. Do you think I'm a hologram or something? C'mon touch me. Are you people retarded or something?"
Good.No, I'm friends with Doc Comic, and I miss him around these parts and the Superman Homepage forum. The end.
It's not like you see me putting up another "Generic Doc Comic Was Great Thread #1127" every three weeks.
But fine, I'll leave you guys to your Orwellian fantasies. Me? I think Bass was added and subsequently taken away by the Mods to unify the boards and instill a sense of site patriotism and longing for more. That's why he ain't coming back. War is Peace. E is watching you.
Bass really liked Superman Returns.
It is truly the holiest of films.
Hello?
Oh, this is Mooney. McCheese is ... incapacitated.
What can I do for you?
An assassination? Hehehehe.
No, no, let me write this down.
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Ice
Teh Sexy Monkey Queen
BRILLIANT. This needs to be POTD. :lol:Controversial New Article Raises Questions About Spirituality In America
A new article in Time Magazine is questioning America's belief in Bass and our following of his teachings.
[IMGL]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y70/moonmaster/Planet-Man2.jpg[/IMGL]A small but growing faction of Basstheists are making their voice heard. One of them, a Canadian man known as "Planet-Man" (left), spoke at a rally today.
"I am sick and tired of the Bassist Right shoving their morals down our throats. Is it a crime to not believe in some silly fantasy? Science has proven time and time again that this 'Bass' is nothing more than a fairy tale!"
As his head flapped on wildly, supporters in the crowd nodded in agreement. "It's just an outdated and ridiculous idea," said Basstheist ProjectX2. "Anyone who believes in Bass must be a complete idiot."
"SMITE THEE SINNERS AND CASTETH THEE INTO HELL!!!," screamed the enraged High Bishop of the Church of Bass, Moonmaster. After calming down, he spoke with us a bit more. "Bass is real. Anyone who thinks he isn't real probably has some sand in his vagina or something. I really don't understand why we're not allowed to enforce corporal punishment against these sinners. I haven't burned someone in years."
Pope Bass himself responded to the protesters yesterday. "I'm real. Seriously. I'm standing right here. Do you think I'm a hologram or something? C'mon touch me. Are you people retarded or something?"
THANK YOU!
Your payment has been sent.
Iceshadow
Well-Known Member
:lol:
Now that's classy.
ProjectX2
Don't expect me to take you with me when I go to s
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Why am I aligned with Planet-man? I think it's time to start up another religion.
moonmaster
Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
- Joined
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Basstheist Heathen.
Random
Didn't **** any of those *****es
All Canadians do
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
DIrishB
The Timeline Guy
Sweet!
Speaking of which, we should see if he'd like to join and become the Church of Bass' official celebrity spokesperson...sort of like what Tom Cruise does for Scientology without all the crazy mixed in. I do think he should retain the shirt-ripping gimmick, however.
Stereotypes...the Church of Bass looks to overcome those. Cower in fear at just how brutally and severly we shatter those...and your non-believing skulls. Sure you don't want to join?
*lights up a joint and extends it towards MaxwellSmart*
It will...once we publish it as the official Word of Lord Bass. It will become our Bible. And thus, doves shall weep and crap on the non-believers.
The UC's mysterious Messiah!
Just a guy with a Superman fetish.
Amen.
McCheese
Well-Known Member
Son of a ***** incapacitated me!!! Uncalled for!!! Why did you tie my shoelaces together!?! It took me hours to escape that heinous trap!!!
ProjectX2
Don't expect me to take you with me when I go to s
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I'm pretty sure we've scared Bass off for good now.
Ultimate Houde
UC's Resident Genetic Recombinator
What for my patented Not-Chinese fingertrap I'm saving for a special occasion....
moonmaster
Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
- Joined
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Yeah, that was the joke...
Unfortunately, he'll be bringing Brooke.
Or is that "Fortunately,"?...
MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Your challenges are not yet over, Mc-Cheese!!! Let's see you get past my army of Genetically-Enhanced Eel Men With Like, Laser Guns and Stuff!!!
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McCheese
Well-Known Member
Oh, I gave them Planet-man's home address and a bucket of fish heads. We're good friends now. They're coming to my weekly poker game.
thee great one
Master of TOG-fu.
He came to me in a dream. And talked about pigeons. I have been converted from an unbeliever to a bassist.
The dream called to me to write these...
BEHOLD!
THE FIVE COMMANDENTS OF BASS
1-Thou shalt not worship false writers
2-Thou shall read my manifestos and preach thee to others
3-NEXTWAVE!!
4-When thou speaks ill of something it must be bollocks.
5-Thou never refer me to Jesus, despite the same look, own following, and second coming.
There needs to be more.
ProjectX2
Don't expect me to take you with me when I go to s
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6 - Thy Second Coming is near... wait, no it's not.
Hibiki
Really is pretentious, no matter what she says. Do
This thread is now bollocks. You all sound like a bunch of googly fan boys awaiting you savior. Your Xenu is never returning. Because he never existed.
just kidding 8)
just kidding 8)
Victor Von Doom
Fist of teh Internets.
This thread is great. ALL HAIL BASS!!
Makes me wish I wasn't busy with moving the past couple days so I could've been here for all this in its prime.
For those who roll their eyes at the mock worship of Bass----get over it. I've only been here a year and even I could see that Bass contributed more to this site in terms of thought-provoking discussions and pure hilarity than any of you could ever dream of doing. It's actually sad that you get jealous over the fact that people would rather await the return of Bass rather than contribute to an online petition to save Arrested Development. It's just that sad.
Maybe you haven't noticed that despite the fact that this is an internet forum...it's actually a pretty close-knit family of friends. I mean can you even imgaine all the PMs E must've gotten with people offering help due to his recent unemployment? Or how about when MWoF told us about his brother's illness and pending surgery? How many people offered up their prayers and comments of goodwill. So with all that---how dare you get mad or even annoyed at the fact that people here actually miss a personal UC fav member?
This doesn't go out to anyone in particular....but just know that you've got some serious growing up to do.
Makes me wish I wasn't busy with moving the past couple days so I could've been here for all this in its prime.
For those who roll their eyes at the mock worship of Bass----get over it. I've only been here a year and even I could see that Bass contributed more to this site in terms of thought-provoking discussions and pure hilarity than any of you could ever dream of doing. It's actually sad that you get jealous over the fact that people would rather await the return of Bass rather than contribute to an online petition to save Arrested Development. It's just that sad.
Maybe you haven't noticed that despite the fact that this is an internet forum...it's actually a pretty close-knit family of friends. I mean can you even imgaine all the PMs E must've gotten with people offering help due to his recent unemployment? Or how about when MWoF told us about his brother's illness and pending surgery? How many people offered up their prayers and comments of goodwill. So with all that---how dare you get mad or even annoyed at the fact that people here actually miss a personal UC fav member?
This doesn't go out to anyone in particular....but just know that you've got some serious growing up to do.
moonmaster
Without him, all of you would be lost souls roamin
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2005
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- 13,670
7-Shake 'dem boobies!!!
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