The Jokes thread.

Man: "I'll tell you Doc, I get sick every time I go into the slightest bit of detail!"
Doctor: "When did this start?"
Man: "Probably about a-HUUUUUURRRRRKKKKKKK!!"
During the cold weather we are advised to check on our neighbours.Well mine is an 83 year old widow,and not once has the old bat been round to check on me.In fact the lazy wrinkled old ***** hasn't even took her milk in for 3 weeks!
People might not get it, but I friggin' love this joke:

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, filling everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten raccoon. The raccoon is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews?

Harry managed to escape from the chambers. :)