Spider-Man Amazing Spider-Man #700 is so incredibly bad it deserves its own thread (spoilers)

E

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So, Amazing Spider-Man #700 has leaked. It's easy to find if you know where to look.

I'll preface this by saying that it is entirely possible that this is a ruse by Marvel. They've put out fake pages before, so it's not outside the realm of possibility. So until you see the issue and not a (poor) scan by an unknown source, take everything you hear about it with a grain of salt. I don't know if Marvel has ever shipped a book out a week early and told retailers not to sell it until the following week, but apparently that's what they did here. And they are fools if they really think no one was going to break street date. It is also possible that this is exactly what they are hoping for, to build hype for the issue. They've spoiled big books before with newspaper interviews, so who knows.

That said, the reports and scans from last week are true. Peter, in Doc Ock's body, uses the golden octopus thing to "beam" (!!!) memories into Spider-Man's titanium-re-enforced head because it couldn't inject them (!!!!), and hits him with Peter's "human" memories. Ock sees all of Peter's memories like various people dying as Otto experiencing them. He also delivers the killing blow to what is left of Ock's body - Peter in Ock's body is dead. Complete organ shutdown, body beaten to a pulp - dead.

The build up was just as bad. Peter had a near-death experience and saw all of the dead friends and relatives in an "afterlife", in which Uncle Ben convinces him that he can't leave yet, not with Otto ruining Peter's reputation. That gives him the strength to carry on and fight back.

There's a lot more - I think it is a 48 page issue, and with backup stories (which haven't read yet) this is supposed to be 100 pages, I believe. But that is the gist of the main story.

Dan Slott has been awful on this book for a long time. I liked it at first, then it because tolerable, but it has been complete garbage since at least Spider Island, which itself was poorly executed, idiotic idea. But this....this is the worst thing Marvel has ever published. I'm not even talking from an ideological standpoint, like, "what have they done to my Spider-Man!" This is an amateur idea which is so poorly done that it...gah. I can't even hyperbole enough to do it justice. Of course it will be retconned and of course it will be reversible. That's not what I'm talking about. This is just a bad book that should never have been proposed, much less created, much less published, regardless of the ease in which they can reverse it.

If I could even wrap my head around how bad this is, it might be the closest I've ever come to burning all of my comics and shutting down this site. But I can't even process it enough to form any kind of reaction other than to write a message board post about it.

So there you go.
 

ProjectX2

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Re: Amazing Spider-Man #700 is so incredibly bad it deserves its own thread (spoilers

Best single issue of 2012.
 

Friday

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Re: Amazing Spider-Man #700 is so incredibly bad it deserves its own thread (spoilers

Wouldn't you be mostly burning your iPad anymore?

And they've shipped early because of holidays before. I remember them doing it with a AvX #1.
 

Bass

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I'm just amazed that the current team at Marvel have demonstrated they learned nothing from the clone saga.
 

Friday

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Re: Amazing Spider-Man #700 is so incredibly bad it deserves its own thread (spoilers

I'm just amazed that the current team at Marvel have demonstrated they learned nothing from the clone saga.

I think whats going on at DC right now is a lot more like what happened with The Clone Saga then whats going on at Marvel right now. Editorial at DC seems to be pulling all the plays that are in the infamous Life of Riley article series. Of course they would be, half of them were involved with it.

This is just another stupid story, not a total failure of everyone involved.
 

vmenge

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Re: Amazing Spider-Man #700 is so incredibly bad it deserves its own thread (spoilers

Yeah no, kudos for Slott for sticking with his crazy ideas, but this is just idiotic. Also really embarassing considering how USM had a much better farewell issue for Peter. Worst idea in comics, ever.
 
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Bass

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Re: Amazing Spider-Man #700 is so incredibly bad it deserves its own thread (spoilers

So I read the whole story arc.

It is a good, three-issue story. Part 1: Spidey is walking around and then suddenly, TWIST! He's Doc Ock! Oh noes! Part 2: Spidey has to break out of prison (whilst not remembering Doc Ock's wedding night with Aunt May). Part 3: The final showdown! Spidey gets his body back. That is a fun, exciting, three-issue story that builds up nicely to #700. That's fun! I like that.

What ruins it is that stupid gimmick ending. Who in their right mind honestly thinks, "Yes, I want to read more stories about a supervillain pretending to be Spider-Man, who is now dating Mary Jane when at one point was married to Aunt May!" I don't.

What's more, I can get Spidey to defeat Doc Ock at the end.

Okay, my 'fix': Doc Ock stands over Spidey, the car held up high, enjoying watching Spidey die in his old, frail body. Spidey needs one last chance and... he yells out loud, "PETER PARKER IS SPIDER-MAN!" Doc Ock is momentarily stunned by this, and Spidey reaches up with the octo-arms and pulls the metal-mask-thing off of Doc Ock. Doc Ock tries to react but he's holding a car above his head, and he stumbles and falls down, under the car, the mask off – Spidey switches back their brains. Destroys the octo-drone thing. Goes up to Doc Ock, and watches him die, Doc Ock cursing Spider-Man as he does. Spidey sees the bystanders getting closer, quickly reacts and puts the mask back on. THE END.

Also, I would've gone back and made this a Mysterio story.
 

Friday

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Re: Amazing Spider-Man #700 is so incredibly bad it deserves its own thread (spoilers

So Newsarama gave 700 a 10/10 in their review today. Now did I miss it or is this the moment they officially became a corporate shill for Marvel and DC?
 

Captain Canuck

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I wasn't planning on reacting to this. Before I read issue #700 my thoughts were, "Oh well, it won't last. I'll be back when it's over." I wasn't going to make a fuss, I was simply going to let my money talk and drop Spider-Man until it was fixed. But Marvel upped the ante and got MJ together with Doc Ock.

I've been waiting for Peter and MJ to get back together since OMD, which happened 5 years ago. After OMD, I dropped ASM for a few months, but then I started picking it up again b/c I missed Spidey. I decided to lay aside my frustration and just enjoy Spider-Man. And I was even given reason to root for MJ and Peter and hope that Marvel might get them back together. And now they finally did. Except they got Doc Ock and MJ together, not Peter and MJ. I've been waiting for MJ to confess her love to Peter and for them to get back together for 5 years. For 5 years I've been hoping for this. And instead I got to see MJ confess her love to Doc Ock. When they kissed I was literally so angry that I yelled, "Aaarrgg!!" and had to put the comic down and do something else for a while. I can honestly say no other comic has ever had that effect on me.

So, my reaction: this was a stupid idea. But that's fine. Stupid ideas happen in comics and eventually they get fixed. I'm used to that and can deal with it. But getting MJ and Doc Ock together like that after 5 years of hoping? That was just...mean. I don't even care if nothing ever happens between them or if MJ dumps him in the first issue of Superior Spider-Man. MJ confessed her love to Doc Ock. Even if she had figured it out and confessed her love to Peter in Ock's body before he died, I would have been more okay with this issue. Ugh. I need to stop.
 

E

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Re: Amazing Spider-Man #700 is so incredibly bad it deserves its own thread (spoilers

So Newsarama gave 700 a 10/10 in their review today. Now did I miss it or is this the moment they officially became a corporate shill for Marvel and DC?

Frustrating.

I know everyone has their own opinion but I just can't fathom thinking that this is a 10/10 book. It literally is the worst thing to happen in comics ever.
 

Captain Canuck

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Check out twitter, it's ablaze with with praise ...for the craze of these days.

But yeah, a lot of people apparently liked it. Weird.
 

Friday

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Re: Amazing Spider-Man #700 is so incredibly bad it deserves its own thread (spoilers

Frustrating.

I know everyone has their own opinion but I just can't fathom thinking that this is a 10/10 book. It literally is the worst thing to happen in comics ever.
While I disagree with the hyperbole the idea that its a perfect comic is insane.
 

Zombipanda

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Re: Amazing Spider-Man #700 is so incredibly bad it deserves its own thread (spoilers

So Newsarama gave 700 a 10/10 in their review today. Now did I miss it or is this the moment they officially became a corporate shill for Marvel and DC?

Newsarama has been a shill for Marvel as long as I can remember.
 

the watcher

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Re: Amazing Spider-Man #700 is so incredibly bad it deserves its own thread (spoilers

I haven't had a chance to read this yet. There were only two comics I wanted this week and I'm not going to drive five miles for two comics. So I'll wait and add it to next weeks list. I'm hearing a lot of mixed reviews. But even the people that say it was good want Peter Parker back. So, how long do you think the Superior Spider-Man will run? I think 20 or 30 issues if the heads of Marvel push this.
 

Friday

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Re: Amazing Spider-Man #700 is so incredibly bad it deserves its own thread (spoilers

I haven't had a chance to read this yet. There were only two comics I wanted this week and I'm not going to drive five miles for two comics. So I'll wait and add it to next weeks list. I'm hearing a lot of mixed reviews. But even the people that say it was good want Peter Parker back. So, how long do you think the Superior Spider-Man will run? I think 20 or 30 issues if the heads of Marvel push this.

Six months. Given how often Marvel publishes issues that might be 20 issues.
 

Zombipanda

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Re: Amazing Spider-Man #700 is so incredibly bad it deserves its own thread (spoilers


This struck me as right on the money.

A combination of the fanbase's attitudes, the small size of the hobby, and the narrow range of publishers kind of insures the "comic book press" will be dominated by corporate sloganeering.
 
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Ice

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Re: Amazing Spider-Man #700 is so incredibly bad it deserves its own thread (spoilers

Six months. Given how often Marvel publishes issues that might be 20 issues.
Slott's stated there's already a year's worth of issues with the current status quo, so no six months.
 

ProjectX2

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Re: Amazing Spider-Man #700 is so incredibly bad it deserves its own thread (spoilers

Peter Parker will be back as Spider-Man by the time the next movie comes out. You can't have Miles Morales and Doctor Octopus as Spider-Man if it's Peter in the movie.
 

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