Dumbest Thing You've Ever Heard A Friend Say

[moonmaster]

Actually, the big brute got confused. He didn't know to punch me, complement me 4 dissing him, or throw me in a thrash can. So, he left.

I think "Punch" would have been the correct answer.

 

[McCheese]

I think "Punch" would have been the correct answer.

Circle gets the square. Goodnight everybody.

 

[TwilightEL]

"Have you ever noticed how not everyone who lisps is gay, but everyone who's gay lisps?"

Memo to the guy who said that: PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH.

 

[Dr.Strangefate]

"Have you ever noticed how not everyone who lisps is gay, but everyone who's gay lisps?"

Memo to the guy who said that: PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH.

... I don't lisp.

*loads shotgun*

 

[Victor Von Doom]

... I don't lisp.

*loads shotgun*

......with confetti.

 

[Gideon Stargrave]

All of these statements were made by one of my good "friends". We'll call him "Kyle".

Kyle: Someone stole my french fries!
Me: No one stole your stupid french fries. You ate them.
Kyle: Shut up, Max. I'm so sick of you guys and your stupid little immature games. I have ZERO TOLERATION left for people stealing my food!! (He was sure to stand up, yell this and smash his hands on the table as he said this.)

Kyle should be an entrapenure:

Kyle: So I have this idea...we could start selling empty soda bottles.
Me and my other friends: ::Blank Stare::
Kyle: Yeah, see, we could sell them to people for $0.08, and then they could go and trade them in for $0.10. Everyone would buy them, and we'd make tons of money.
Me: Kyle that's...are you...what a fantastic Idea. I wish I thought of that.

Durring social studdies:

Teacher: The Cuban economy was unable to sustain itself in (whatever year) becasue the people and government lacked the necissary...what? Kyle?
Kyle: Um...it lacked the necissary...economics.
Teacher: Um...no. Kyle, what did they need more of?
Kyle: Oh...um...Cuba...Oh! They needed more drugs.
Teacher: MONEY, Kyle! They needed more ****** MONEY!

Kyle is a history expert:

Kyle I'm so tired of you guys playing your stupid WWII games. Like that dumb "Battlefield 1932".

He even knows where the whitehouse is!

Me Shut up, Kyle. You're from Kansas. You don't know anything.
Kyle Yeah, well you're from Washington (the state, not the capital).
(his best impersonation of me) "OOOH, look at me! I'm Max! I'm from Washington, and we think we're so cool, because we have the whitehouse in our state!"

He once glued his hand to his face. No, really.

(someone comments on something stupid that someone did)
Marc Well, to do that you'd need to have the mental capacity of a man who once glued his hand to his face. Like, Kyle for example.
Kyle Shut up! I only did that one time. And it was by accident.
Me Wait...Kyle ACTUALLY glued his hand to his face??
Marc ...Yeah...
Me Wait...how do you glue your hand to your face by accident?
Kyle I hope all of your children have birth defects. You guys suck.

I've been friends with Kyle for about 10 years now, and I've heard him say many, many stupid things, but these are just the ones that come to mind. What really drives me insane is that he has a 4.0 GPA and I have a 3.4...

 

[Iceshadow]

Teacher: The Cuban economy was unable to sustain itself in (whatever year) becasue the people and government lacked the necissary...what? Kyle?
Kyle: Um...it lacked the necissary...economics.
Teacher: Um...no. Kyle, what did they need more of?
Kyle: Oh...um...Cuba...Oh! They needed more drugs.
Teacher: MONEY, Kyle! They needed more ****** MONEY!

I can't stop laughing at this.:lol: :lol:

 

[MaxwellSmart]

All of these statements were made by one of my good "friends". We'll call him "Kyle".

Kyle: Someone stole my french fries!
Me: No one stole your stupid french fries. You ate them.
Kyle: Shut up, Max. I'm so sick of you guys and your stupid little immature games. I have ZERO TOLERATION left for people stealing my food!! (He was sure to stand up, yell this and smash his hands on the table as he said this.)

Kyle should be an entrapenure:

Kyle: So I have this idea...we could start selling empty soda bottles.
Me and my other friends: ::Blank Stare::
Kyle: Yeah, see, we could sell them to people for $0.08, and then they could go and trade them in for $0.10. Everyone would buy them, and we'd make tons of money.
Me: Kyle that's...are you...what a fantastic Idea. I wish I thought of that.

Durring social studdies:

Teacher: The Cuban economy was unable to sustain itself in (whatever year) becasue the people and government lacked the necissary...what? Kyle?
Kyle: Um...it lacked the necissary...economics.
Teacher: Um...no. Kyle, what did they need more of?
Kyle: Oh...um...Cuba...Oh! They needed more drugs.
Teacher: MONEY, Kyle! They needed more ****** MONEY!

Kyle is a history expert:

Kyle I'm so tired of you guys playing your stupid WWII games. Like that dumb "Battlefield 1932".

He even knows where the whitehouse is!

Me Shut up, Kyle. You're from Kansas. You don't know anything.
Kyle Yeah, well you're from Washington (the state, not the capital).
(his best impersonation of me) "OOOH, look at me! I'm Max! I'm from Washington, and we think we're so cool, because we have the whitehouse in our state!"

He once glued his hand to his face. No, really.

(someone comments on something stupid that someone did)
Marc Well, to do that you'd need to have the mental capacity of a man who once glued his hand to his face. Like, Kyle for example.
Kyle Shut up! I only did that one time. And it was by accident.
Me Wait...Kyle ACTUALLY glued his hand to his face??
Marc ...Yeah...
Me Wait...how do you glue your hand to your face by accident?
Kyle I hope all of your children have birth defects. You guys suck.

I've been friends with Kyle for about 10 years now, and I've heard him say many, many stupid things, but these are just the ones that come to mind. What really drives me insane is that he has a 4.0 GPA and I have a 3.4...

Sounds like the stupidest person I've ever heard of.

 

[TwilightEL]

It's too bad DGSpider-fan's stupid chick is going out with his brother, because she and Kyle are perfect for each other.

I bet if you got them to have a conversation with each other, it would be so stupid that the universe would implode just to make the hurting stop.

 

[Gideon Stargrave]

It's too bad DGSpider-fan's stupid chick is going out with his brother, because she and Kyle are perfect for each other.

I bet if you got them to have a conversation with each other, it would be so stupid that the universe would implode just to make the hurting stop.

They could make the dumbest babies ever.

 

[Iceshadow]

Three words. Dumbest. Babies. Ever.

That's not something the US needs more of, sterilize the both of them. Unless you're in Canada, then just let them go at it. Canada has been real uppity lately and needs to be taken down a notch.

 

[ultimatedjf]

"My name is Kyle. Kyle.... XY."

 

[moonmaster]

They could make the dumbest babies ever.

"My name is Kyle. Kyle.... XY."

*no belly button*

 

[TwilightEL]

What. The. Hell.

 

[Random]

Nurachi is like Bass. He never signs on, but when he does, he posts random stuff like this.

N'uff said

 

[Dr.Strangefate]

*

Ugh. I have that issue.

...



I wish I were joking.

 

[ourchair]

*no belly button*

Where is Fabian Nicieza now?

 

[Gamma Man]

"Hulk's Marvel, right?"

and....

"The site your on is about Marvel Right?

After I tell him yes......
"See, I knew it!"

This happened about 5 minutes ago.

 

[Victor Von Doom]

"Hulk's Marvel, right?"

and....

"The site your on is about Marvel Right?

After I tell him yes......
"See, I knew it!"

This happened about 5 minutes ago.

:?


SHHHH!!!!! It stops speaking to it's intellectual superiors or else it gets the hose.

 

[Ultimate Houde]

I love the X-babies

Mojo rules

 

[DGspider-fan]

It's too bad DGSpider-fan's stupid chick is going out with his brother, because she and Kyle are perfect for each other.

I bet if you got them to have a conversation with each other, it would be so stupid that the universe would implode just to make the hurting stop.

:lol: We must do whatever it takes to prevent this catastrophe
from coming to pass. What we must do is kill them both, our Universe depends on it! I'll take out stupid chick ASAP! One of you must take out Kyle!

Kill the idiots. Save the World

Ugh. I have that issue.

...



I wish I were joking.

oh god.....So.....do.....I :cry:

 

[Gideon Stargrave]

:lol: We must do whatever it takes to prevent this catastrophe
from coming to pass. What we must do is kill them both, our Universe depends on it! I'll take out stupid chick ASAP! One of you must take out Kyle!

Don't worry. I'll kill Kyle. It was going to happen sooner or later, anyways.

 

[DGspider-fan]

Don't worry. I'll kill Kyle. It was going to happen sooner or later, anyways.

The Universe is saved!​

 

[McCheese]

:?


SHHHH!!!!! It stops speaking to it's intellectual superiors or else it gets the hose.

:lol: :lol: :lol:





Nice.

 

[Friday]

Kina: well, aren't you jewish?

Me: ...no.

Jess: But your pee pee (Exact words) isn't cut.

Me: ...circumsicion started as a jewish only thing.

 

[Caduceus]

Kina: well, aren't you jewish?

Me: ...no.

Jess: But your pee pee (Exact words) isn't cut.

Me: ...circumsicion started as a jewish only thing.

Bax, you pimp.

 

[MaxwellSmart]

Kina: well, aren't you jewish?

Me: ...no.

Jess: But your pee pee (Exact words) isn't cut.

Me: ...circumsicion started as a jewish only thing.

Religious ignorance is some of my favorite kind of ignorance.

 

[moonmaster]

:lol: We must do whatever it takes to prevent this catastrophe
from coming to pass. What we must do is kill them both, our Universe depends on it! I'll take out stupid chick ASAP! One of you must take out Kyle!

Kill the idiots. Save the World

KILL THE IDIOTS. SAVE THE WORLD.

Kina: well, aren't you jewish?

Me: ...no.

Jess: But your pee pee (Exact words) isn't cut.

Me: ...circumsicion started as a jewish only thing.

Yes, sailing around the world is an ancient Jewish rite of passage.

And I'd like to know exactly how this conversation even came up.

 

[Gamma Man]

I love the X-babies

Mojo rules

For once, I agree with you Houde.

 

[DGspider-fan]

I'm not sure if I'd call Jen a friend anymore, all because of some ridiculous drama. She couldn't talk to my girlfriend and I because we had asked her ex (a mutual friend) to move into our house. He never moved in but she still had a problem with us. Something about friendship is more important than money.:roll:

8 or 9 months have past and no word from Jen. Like I care, she was kinda lame anyway and her new boyfriend is a moronic dirtbag. I feel sorry for my GF though, as Jen was one of her best friends. Last I heard she had found God and spends most of her free time doing "God stuff".

Jen's sister got a job where my girlfriend works and she tried to mend the broken friendship by setting up a meeting. So they all go out for coffee and it doesn't take long to see that somebody has gone crazy.

Jen procedes to imply that we are going to hell because we are not married and :shock: we have sex! For shame!

Next she brings up our lesbian friend and must also add that she is going to hell as well. Julie (my gf) protests saying that she's happy as long as Stacey's happy, her choice of lifestyle is her own business. Jen scoffs at the remark saying that nomatter how unhappy Stacey is she still shouldn't be gay. :x

She also had to add that homosexuality is the deadliest of the 7 deadly sins.:lol: I was under the impression that all sins were the same in Gods eyes, but what do I know?

Finally she asks about my brother and his new girlfriend (Stupid Chick). Apparently Jen goes to the same cult, I mean church, as my bothers ex.

(Note: My brothers' ex is almost as dumb as his current gf.)

She had told Jen that Stupid Chick is a witch. Wouldn't you know it Jen actually believes it too. She tells Julie that we should all be careful to not let evil magic into our house. Julie tells her that Stupid Chick is not a witch as she is very nice and explains how ludacris the idea is. Jen still thinks otherwise and warns Julie again to be careful.

I know we're ok because Stupid Chick is far too dumb to complete even the most elementary of spells, evil or otherwise.

Why God, do you allow your followers to be so ignorant? Why must they pass judgement even though your words tell them otherwise? Why does logic and common-sense take the backseat to a retardation of what a true Christian should be?

That's it I'm changing my sig to "KILL THE IDIOTS. SAVE THE WORLD."