UC: Stuck

Ultimate Houde said:
As of right now, in my head anyways, I got a few 'episodes' plotted out. But unlike the Fanfic and all that, I'll just be adding them to this thread as I go along. So basically, Stuck is one long story, with chapters and all that, but I won't be spamming the forum.

But the end is not plotted out yet.

All I have to say is

Project
Click to expand...

:twisted:
 
UC Stuck Episode 2
The Ballad of MWoF​


The past

He sat in the bar, drinking the night away, this was to be the first of many. He drank, because of what happened earlier, the thing with his friend, Longshotjimlee. His friend left him, with some explanation, and some cryptic message, but he didn't care at all. Raising the drink to his lips, someone approached him.

Zombipanda: Hey man, you got a light?
Manwithoutfear (MWoF): Can't say I do.
Zombipanda: Why you drinking so much?
MWoF: Why you worrying about that?
Zombipanda: Hey bar, barroom etiquette. I'm at the bar drinking, you are at the bar, you listen to my story, I'll listen to yours.
MWoF: Fine, every have a best friend?
Zombipanda: Yeah.
MWoF: Well, mine just cause my company to go bankrupt, and left me high and dry.
Zombipanda: Oh, that blows….

Present

MWoF watched the person calling himself GMaster come stumbling out of the forest with a bloody head, holding Project and screaming out loud. He didn't care, all he cared about was staying drunk. The world was too busy for him, and maybe, just maybe, this crash was for the better.

But other were much more alerted to the matter at hand.

VVD: Holy, what happened?
GMaster: We got attacked.
Moonie: By what? A gorilla wielding a giant branch?
GMaster: No idea, we saw something on the ground, Houde told us to lean in closer, then BAM! We were struck from behind.
TGO: Wow. That sucks. Anyone got any boar burger left?
VVD: What do we do?
Dr. Strangefate: You two got nasty head wounds, we need to sterilize them. Get some alcohol if you can, and a first aid kit, get it here. I'll do what I can.
VVD: Alright.

He wandered over to the drunk.

VVD: I need some alcohol.
MWoF: Why do I care? Huh?
VVD: Damn it brah, just give me some alcohol!
MWoF: Guess what bounty hunter?
VVD: What?
MWoF: I know you ain't a bounty hunter. Go find some alcohol somewhere else.

VVD Stared at him then turned around and walked away.

MWoF: Bastard. No one takes my alcohol, especially not a lair.

The Next Morning

Random had the last watch that night, and he spent it, doodling on the ground. When he woke everyone at first light, and they were ready to move on, no one bothered to look at it. On the ground, was a symbol, looking a lot like this:

image.php


He had no idea where he saw it before, but he did like it. They now quintet walked off, Ice leading. The mind's eye pans up, revealing a tree. On the tree was carved the same symbol, with six numbers underneath it. 2,7,8,19,20

Ice: Guys, let's head this way.
Random: Why? Looks like very other direction to me.
Zombipanda: He does have a point.

Ice sighed.

Ice: Listen, you guys know how to go through a forest? Do ya?
Planet-Man: Do you
McCheese: Yeah, what makes you the know it all about this sort of stuff.
Ice: Ever hear of the World race?
McCheese: Nope
Planet-Man: Nope
Zombipanda: Yes I have.
Random: Nope, I never leave my computer chair.
Ice: Well, for those that don't know, it's a race between five teams around the world. I was on that race last year, and one of the rounds was through a forest in the Amazon. I learned how to navigate through those forests.
Zombipanda: Really? That's nice, you can navigate through rainforests. These don't look like rainforests to me pal.
Ice: You wanna lead us through this place? Do you think you can?
Zombipanda: Actually, I do think I can.
Random: Dude, I'm backing the guy with the knowledge, no offense.
Planet-Man: He must know what he's doing.
McCheese: Yea, just let him lead.

Zombipanda gave into the group, and they walked away. In the back, McCheese whispered to Zombipanda.

McCheese: No worries. I'll pretend to be in his camp and watch him. But why are you so suspicious of him anyways?
Zombipanda: I got my reasons.
 
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MWoF realized one thing, there was only so much alcohol on the boat that he could salvage, he would need more, and went out to find some more.

This ran him into the excitable, and trickster, Moonmaster.

MWoF: I need some alcohol, you got any?
Moonie: ME! Of course, my underaged hands have pilfered many bottles of this beverage. Would you like some?
MWoF: Give it to me
Moonie: Um....I want a trade.
MWoF: Fine, what do you want?
Moonie: A PONY!
MWoF: We are on a desert island, and you want a pony?
Moonie: Yes
MWoF: This better be some good alcohol

MWoF packed himself a small bag, and headed out into the woods. Taking a swig from his vodka bottle, he proceeded to randomly choose a drunken destination, and followed it.

Behind him, someone else followed....

Flashback

MWoF: So, what's on the jukebox today?
Ricky: A song
MWoF: Ricky, you're the best bartender ever
Ricky: And soon, I'll stop letting you put things on your tab.
MWoF: Now, your a buzzkill, well, before that happens, BEERS ON ME!

MWoF turned around screaming his joy.

He was the only one in the bar other than Ricky, the bartender.

MWoF: GO ME!
Ricky: I think you've had enough
MWoF: It's only ten AM. I just woke up
Ricky: Do you sleep with a bar IV?

The door opened and close, the man walking into the light.

Ricky: Hello sir, what can I get you?
Person: Nothing for me brah, I'm in town looking for someone. Have you've seen him?

He holds up a photo of VVD.

MWoF: You gay or somethin'? And why you wearing bras?
Person: No brah, I'm from New Zealand, part of the lingo brah. And I'm a bounty hunter, the name is Nurhachi
MWoF: Aren't you short to be a bounty hunter?
Nurhachi: Aren't you a little to drunk to be a bar fly?
MWoF: I resemble that remark.
Ricky: I haven't seen anyone like that around here mate, sorry.
Nurhachi: That's alright, go with Christ.

As Nurhachi walked out of the bar, MWoF stood up.

MWoF: Hey, wait a tic!

Nurhachi turned around.

MWoF fell over from intoxication.

MWoF: I need you to find someone for me.
Nurhachi: I'm a bounty hunter brah, not a private detective.
MWoF: Crap....fine, be that way...I'll find him myself.

He tried to get up, and found out his legs weren't working right.

MWoF: Once I take a little nap.

Present

Ice was feeling up a tree.

Which is about as funny as it sounds.

McCheese: You two want a room? I'm sure there's a Holdiay inn around here or something.
Ice: I'm feeling for moss
Zombipanda: Well, I'll give you a hint, it's green.
Planet-Man: And spongy
Ice: Anymore jokes?

35 minutes later

Planet-Man: And spongy
Zombipanda: You already said that one.
Random: WAIT!
McCheese: What? What's wrong?
Random: I got some more!

96 minutes later

Planet-Man: And it's spongy
Random: Stop saying that one!

Ice stood up from the ground.

Ice: Alright boys, let's go this way

As he lead them away, Zombipanda looked at the tree, and swore that he's already been this way once today.
 
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MWoF continued on his trek to find himself a pony.

Just for more alcohol.

Cue horrible monster that's obviously following him.

MWoF walked around a tree, and heard it. swaying as he stopped, the drunkard looked around the forest, wondering where that noise came from.

He then burped, shrugged, took a swig, and began to walk again.

Then he saw it, it was in front of him. A cloud of black smoke and darkness. It was making mechanical noises, and smelled like smog.

MWoF burped, and looked at his bottle.

MWoF: Damn good stuff, hate waste it.

Putting the cap on carefully, he placed the bottle on the ground, and stood up taking a boxer's stance.

MWoF: Let's go meathead
Monster: Hey, it's not nice calling people names.

MWoF raised an eyebrow.

Monster: Oh ****.

Meanwhile

Ice: I'm not liking this trail.
Zombipanda: Why not? It's the samed damn trail as an hour ago. When we walked through this same thicket, some of my shirt ripped. Look, it's still there.
Ice: I'm trying the best that I can.
Zombipanda: Bet you got lost, didn't you.
Ice: What are trying to say man, huh?
Zombipanda: You're up to something, and I'm going to figure it out.
Ice: You should watch what you say to me
Zombipanda: I really don't think I should. I'm sick of you leading us, I think it's time for someone else to lead.
Ice: NO! GET BACK ON TOPIC!
Zombipanda: What are you, some mod on a forum? If you are, were are the rotfcopters? The loltanks?
Ice: I'LL BAN YOU!
Zombipanda: I bet this guy lied to us, I bet he never left his computer room, and pretended he knew...

Random cut off Zombipanda

Random: Listen, everyone relax, we are doing fine, no one's died, right?
McCheese: Unless you count Iceshadow...

What was going on with Iceshadow at the moment?

Iceshadow: THE PAIN, STOP THE PAIN!
Quicksilver: NO! YOU WILL SEE THE WHOLE MOVIE!
Iceshadow: NO! NO MORE MARY POPPINS! I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER SINGING PENGUIN!
Quicksilver: HAHAHAHAHAHAH! AFTER THAT WE HAVE, THE SOUND OF MUSIC!
Iceshadow: PLEASE, LET ME BLINK!

Gruesome, I know

Planet-Man stepped forward. Hhis foot cracked a tiny branch.

Planet-man: Let's just let by-gones be by-gones...
Ice: You really shouldn't have stepped there
Planet-man: Why?

The sound of a falling tree trunk was suddenly heard.

Ice: IT'S A TRAP! EVERYONE! RUN!

And he bolted.

Planet-Man stared in horrid fascination as the tree trunk plummeted towards him, slamming into his frail body, and sending him flying backwards.

The other three ran towards him.

Planet-man: Stella...stella....stella...
Random: Was that his girl's name?
McCheese: Maybe his favorite movie?
Planet-man: You guys really need to see Stella, it's some funny ****.

His head lolled to the side, as he lost conciousness.

Zombipanda: DAMN YOU ICE!
McCheese: NOOOOO!!!!!
Random: I'M GOING TO SCREAM IN FRUSTRATION AS WELL! ARGH!!!!

At the Main Camp

VVD: Did we get everything we need off the wreckage?
Baxter: Yup
VVD: Good, cause it's getting washed out to sea
Baxter: The budget must be getting used up.
VVD: Yup
Baxter: Moving on....

They go to Dr.Strangefate, who was watching over the unconcious Project.

Baxter: Is he okay?
Dr.Strangefate: He should be, I just gave him a rectal exam to make sure.
VVD: And with that, I'm leaving, go with Christ brah.

VVD walked off, leaving an awkward and silent moment between Dr.Strangefate and Baxter.

Baxter: So..
Dr.Strangefate: Yea...

Then Project moaned and began to wake up.

Dr.Strangefate: Oh thank god.
Baxter: You alright?
Project: My head hurts.
Baxter: GMaster said Houde hit you both over the head iwth a stick and ran off.
Project: Wait...that didn't happen.
Baxter: what?
GMaster: You're confused.

Baxter and Dr.Strangefate both looked at GMaster, who seemingly just arrived.

Baxter: Yeah, he must be confused.
Dr.Strangefate: A head injury can do that to someone.
GMaster:It's okay, get better soon, okay Project.
Project: You know, one in every twenty people is a traitor.
GMaster: Good thing Houde revealed his true colors then.

He walked off, and Project looked over to Dr.Strangefate all dramatic like.

Project: But there was forty people on that Steamboat
 
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Who apparently enjoys giving rectal exams... :?

I get the joke... but there are... less offensive ways to stereotype gay people with my character for comedic effect?

Its your story. Do as you please.
 
Dr.Strangefate said:
Who apparently enjoys giving rectal exams... :?

I get the joke... but there are... less offensive ways to stereotype gay people with my character for comedic effect?

Its your story. Do as you please.
Click to expand...

Its the last one of it's kind

I usually produce better material for the joke, this was my bad. I will work on it in the future as your character begins to get more in the limelight
 
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