Ultimates 3 #1-5 discussion [Loeb/Madureira] [spoilers]

[Random]

... **** you Loeb, and **** you Joe Q, **** everybody who allowed this piece of **** to go on. **** all of you.

 

[mike3717]

... **** you Loeb, and **** you Joe Q, **** everybody who allowed this piece of **** to go on. **** all of you.

And **** US for buying this crap.

 

[mike3717]

Panther is, indeed, Captain America.

Why?

 

[Random]

And **** US for buying this crap.

No **** the completists who do that

 

[Ironlurker]

Leob is terrible. Somebody should tell him that stringing random events together does not build mystery. There were no clues to be gleaned. No suspense built. Hush was the same thing, but some idiots gave him rave reviews for that crap.

Note to Leob: Random events in rapid succession is a bad acid trip, not a satisfying comicbook arc.

 

[Sacred&Profane]

Why?

Exact quote from the book:

Jan: "You want to tell me what the hell is going on here? Why were you dressed as The Panther? Where is the real Panther? Is there a real black panther?

Cap: "We'll discuss it later, Jan. Right now, Magneto is the priority."

 

[Zombipanda]

Note to Leob: Random events in rapid succession is a bad acid trip, not a satisfying comicbook arc.

It's not even that.

 

[Langsta]

This book reads like it was written by a twelve-year-old.

Or a group of manatees with idea balls.

 

[Void.M]

This book reads like it was written by a twelve-year-old.

Or a group of manatees with idea balls.

Manatees could write a better story.

 

[Grocer Man]

Manatees could write a better story.

This is the story

Of two manatees named Remy and Paul

Paul: Remy, you can't go floating on the surface anymore! It's too dangerous!

Remy: You don't understand, Paul! I live for this!

(cut to surface, boat being driven by Loeb is heading for Paul)

Paul:...Come on!

Manatee Chicken: A Love Story

 

[mike3717]

No **** the completists who do that

Well, it's not always about being a completist. Some people, like me, just can't resist watching a train wreck. Granted, we are as much to blame as the completists.

But hell, someones gotta buy it.

Otherwise we couldn't b*tch about how bad it is. :?

 

[mike3717]

This book reads like it was written by a twelve-year-old.

Or a group of manatees with idea balls.

I just read it. It is REALLY bad. I actually had to laugh cuz at one point I thought I was missing pages or something. It goes from Hank and Jan in the air vent IMMEDIATLEY to Ultimates and robot Ultimates flying around the savage land. I didn't know who was who or what the hell was going on.

And the Joe Mad art blows. He can't draw the story. Every panel is a poster.

 

[McCheese]

To save you money:

OMG ROBOTS!

Via Ultron's convenient expository recording, we're basically shown what was going on the entire time. Venom was just a robot (thank god). Tony is captive!

Ultron and his Ultronimates go to fight Magneto, in hopes of starting a Human/Mutant war. Why Ultron chooses to go with his Ultronimates (given the fact that we later learn they don't work when he's dead) Is unexplained.

Don't worry! We're also not given any reasoning behind Cap's masquerading as Black Panther!

Okay! So! The Real Ultimates + Wolverine + Ka-zar + Pym, Janet, and Tony (who snuck on with Ultron) fight against the Ultronimates in the savage land and, in the worst one liner ever, Pym rips off Ultron's head.

Ultron to Wasp, as he's trying to kill her:
"I'd rather not kill you jan, my experiementation on your DNA has only begun. Besides.... you're like a mother to me."

Pym: "Then I guess that makes me the MOTHER****ER!"

:shock:

After this, the Ultronimates are deactivated. The Ultimates are talking to Magneto, evading possible war, when Hawkeye fires a metal arrow at him. Instead of stopping this arrow with his control over metal, Quicksilver jumps infront of Magneto and takes the shot. He dies. Magneto is pissed and runs off.

The final three pages:
Magneto crying over his dead children...swearing the Ultimate Universe will pay THE ULTIMATE PRICE.
Wasp telling Cap to loosen up on Hank- and that if he as a problem with Giant Man on the team, he can FIND A NEW TEAM!!!!!
And...
The grand finale...
A metallic hand is holding Ultron's severed head, dialog prattling on about how Pym could've NEVER made Ultron alone, and that all of what just happened...with the war plan, with the killing of scarlet witch...was all the plan of...

DOCTOR DOOM!

Duhn Duhn Duhn!

Making fun of this book is like making fun of a retarded younger cousin. It's so easy, but at the same time, he can't help it.
I feel so dirty.

Panther is, indeed, Captain America.

Oh: and Valkryie is almost raped by Mastermind and Pyro before a mysterious presence tells her to come out of the illusion, that it didn't "give her all this power for noting..." She then proceeds to decapitate Mastermind and chop of Pyro's hands as he pleads with her, citing his having once been an X-Man.

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!

...


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

 

[Drunken Pickle]

seriously?


thank god it's over. so how did captain black america overcome the juggernaut? ( i haven't read it yet) also, watch pyro betray/ leave the x-men during ultimatum cause we all know how much loeb loves continuity

and doom is prolly still a doombot

 

[Sacred&Profane]

seriously?


thank god it's over. so how did captain black america overcome the juggernaut? ( i haven't read it yet) also, watch pyro betray/ leave the x-men during ultimatum cause we all know how much loeb loves continuity

and doom is prolly still a doombot

Wolverine runs Juggernaut over with a Dinosaur.

 

[Ice]

So glad I stopped after #1.

 

[Ultimate Houde]

I love Sacred&Profane

 

[ProjectX2]

I'm so glad I didn't read any of this.

 

[Shihad]

So who killed Scarlet Witch, was it Ultron?

 

[Ice]

So who killed Scarlet Witch, was it Ultron?

Loeb. Loeb killed her.

 

[Iceshadow]

Was that before or after he made Wolverine her father?

 

[Foolsfolly]

Was that before or after he made Wolverine her father?

And was Hawkeye a robot to shoot at Magneto in the first place? Or why are they being peaceful with Magneto at all since he is a wanted felon...and Mastermind's like totally in the Triskelion isn't he since...

Never mind.

Never mind.

 

[E]

To save you money:

OMG ROBOTS!

Via Ultron's convenient expository recording, we're basically shown what was going on the entire time. Venom was just a robot (thank god). Tony is captive!

Ultron and his Ultronimates go to fight Magneto, in hopes of starting a Human/Mutant war. Why Ultron chooses to go with his Ultronimates (given the fact that we later learn they don't work when he's dead) Is unexplained.

Don't worry! We're also not given any reasoning behind Cap's masquerading as Black Panther!

Okay! So! The Real Ultimates + Wolverine + Ka-zar + Pym, Janet, and Tony (who snuck on with Ultron) fight against the Ultronimates in the savage land and, in the worst one liner ever, Pym rips off Ultron's head.

Ultron to Wasp, as he's trying to kill her:
"I'd rather not kill you jan, my experiementation on your DNA has only begun. Besides.... you're like a mother to me."

Pym: "Then I guess that makes me the MOTHER****ER!"

:shock:

After this, the Ultronimates are deactivated. The Ultimates are talking to Magneto, evading possible war, when Hawkeye fires a metal arrow at him. Instead of stopping this arrow with his control over metal, Quicksilver jumps infront of Magneto and takes the shot. He dies. Magneto is pissed and runs off.

The final three pages:
Magneto crying over his dead children...swearing the Ultimate Universe will pay THE ULTIMATE PRICE.
Wasp telling Cap to loosen up on Hank- and that if he as a problem with Giant Man on the team, he can FIND A NEW TEAM!!!!!
And...
The grand finale...
A metallic hand is holding Ultron's severed head, dialog prattling on about how Pym could've NEVER made Ultron alone, and that all of what just happened...with the war plan, with the killing of scarlet witch...was all the plan of...

DOCTOR DOOM!

Duhn Duhn Duhn!

Making fun of this book is like making fun of a retarded younger cousin. It's so easy, but at the same time, he can't help it.
I feel so dirty.

WOW.

Unbelievable.

I can't believe something like that actually gets published.

Anyone who sees a positive review for this book, please post. I can't believe anyone not being paid by Marvel could actually defend this piece of ****.

 

[Bass]

People have not mentioned the awesome line where Wolverine says to the robot Hulk: "I wish you were the real Hulk. We have unfinished business."

YOU GET IT? He's talking about ULTIMATE HULK VS WOLVERINE!

It's the final issue, the big climax, and he's making in-jokes! :roll:

It's actually not a bad line, but it's just extra stupid.

Also, the issue is rubbish.

The Ultronites create a robot Venom (out of liquid?!?!) to attack and kidnap Scarlet Witch. Which makes no sense. Why Venom? Why not Magneto? Why a low-level Spider-villain to take on the Ultimates?

Also, the Ultronites can make robot clones out of liquid and non-metal things that look like metal. (Did Mad read the script? I don't blame him if he didn't.)

The Ultronites also shoot Wanda when Pietro kisses her because they realise they'll never be together... why doesn't the Ultronite shoot Pietro instead? In fact, why, since they're passing UNDETECTED AS BUTLERS don't they POISON THE ULTIMATES.

THEY COULD HAVE. THEY POISONED HANK PYM.

WHO, BY THE WAY, STOPPED BEING POISONED FOR NO REASON. WHY DID PYM NOT DIE FROM HIS OVERDOSE?

This is the first time I think I've seen a plot hole that is, in its self, another plot hole.

Oh, and Wolverine can tell when a dinosaur is coming to ambush Juggernaut but his super senses can't actually notice Juggernaut. He is so stealthy, after all.

Why was Spider-Man in #2 again? Oh, right. No reason.

Captain America as Black Panther still makes no sense. At all.

Also, Hawkeye shoots an ARROW at Magneto and Quicksilver gets in the way and gets killed. However, four issues ago, Quicksilver was able to INTERCEPT AND CATCH A BULLET WITH HIS BARE HANDS THAT WAS MOVING BY ITSELF TO KILL HIS SISTER. HE ACTUALLY ****ING CATCHES IT. HE MANAGES TO CHASE A BULLET SHOT FROM NOWHERE AND CATCH IT YET HE CAN'T CATCH AN ARROW. Did Loeb even read his own comics?

And speaking of the bullet - if the Ultronite was just following Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch without the intention of shooting them, WHY DID HE CARRY A GUN SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED TO KILL WANDA WITH HIM?

Doom makes a cameo at the end that is utterly arbitrary. While the comic says "The End" what it really means is, "To be continued". Ultimates 3 is a prequel to a crossover.

Oh, and Hank Pym, who created Ultron and is a TRAITOR TO THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (apparently, this only gets him HOUSE ARREST?!) is backed up by Jan for him helping them fight Ultron. Jan then yells at Captain America and says if he doesn't like Hank being on the team (!!) he can QUIT.

He's Captain ****ing America. Captain America doesn't take **** from Wasp. Wasp being the leader makes no ****ing sense at all. And Cap not being able to actually command ANY RESPECT from ANYONE is retarded. But then, HE IS RETARDED BECAUSE HE PRETENDED TO BE THE BLACK PANTHER. Why? We don't know. It doesn't matter. It just means Captain America has been ****ing around. Captain America wants to be bossed around by Wasp so much, HE JOINED THE TEAM TWICE.

Seriously. Tony Stark = Billionaire business man. Captain America = Led troops into World War II. Thor = Norse God and son of Odin. And somehow, none of them have the presence to lead a team whereas Wasp, a government scientist, can BOSS THEM AROUND in military operations. This makes no ****ing sense. At all. Cap could leave the team, and create his own one. With blackjack and hookers.

But then, none of it made any sense. It is, by far, one of the most stupid comics I've ever read. It's insulting how many people in this world would've killed to do Ultimates 3 - for so much less - and this got published.

Absolute ****ing failure.

 

[Gemini]

Don't you hate it when characters just start yelling tag lines for comics

Who Do You Trust!
They will pay the ULTIMATE PRICE!
MY NAME IS JOHN MCCAIN AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE

 

[Iceshadow]

Oh, and Hank Pym, who created Ultron and is a TRAITOR TO THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (apparently, this only gets him HOUSE ARREST?!) is backed up by Jan for him helping them fight Ultron. Jan then yells at Captain America and says if he doesn't like Hank being on the team (!!) he can QUIT.

I think it's a race thing: Wasp turns white and she gets to lead the Ultimates, Cap tries to be black and gets bossed around by Wasp.

 

[Ice]

Cap tries to be black and gets bossed around by Wasp.

Brutha can nevah get some reespek! That be whack!!

 

[Gemini]

Why is the Wasp the leader again?

Why do people even like the Wasp?

I have not been presented with a single reason to enjoy the character in either 616 or UU

She suck's.

 

[McCheese]

People have not mentioned the awesome line where Wolverine says to the robot Hulk: "I wish you were the real Hulk. We have unfinished business."

YOU GET IT? He's talking about ULTIMATE HULK VS WOLVERINE!

It's the final issue, the big climax, and he's making in-jokes! :roll:

It's actually not a bad line, but it's just extra stupid.

Also, the issue is rubbish.

The Ultronites create a robot Venom (out of liquid?!?!) to attack and kidnap Scarlet Witch. Which makes no sense. Why Venom? Why not Magneto? Why a low-level Spider-villain to take on the Ultimates?

Also, the Ultronites can make robot clones out of liquid and non-metal things that look like metal. (Did Mad read the script? I don't blame him if he didn't.)

The Ultronites also shoot Wanda when Pietro kisses her because they realise they'll never be together... why doesn't the Ultronite shoot Pietro instead? In fact, why, since they're passing UNDETECTED AS BUTLERS don't they POISON THE ULTIMATES.

THEY COULD HAVE. THEY POISONED HANK PYM.

WHO, BY THE WAY, STOPPED BEING POISONED FOR NO REASON. WHY DID PYM NOT DIE FROM HIS OVERDOSE?

This is the first time I think I've seen a plot hole that is, in its self, another plot hole.

Oh, and Wolverine can tell when a dinosaur is coming to ambush Juggernaut but his super senses can't actually notice Juggernaut. He is so stealthy, after all.

Why was Spider-Man in #2 again? Oh, right. No reason.

Captain America as Black Panther still makes no sense. At all.

Also, Hawkeye shoots an ARROW at Magneto and Quicksilver gets in the way and gets killed. However, four issues ago, Quicksilver was able to INTERCEPT AND CATCH A BULLET WITH HIS BARE HANDS THAT WAS MOVING BY ITSELF TO KILL HIS SISTER. HE ACTUALLY ****ING CATCHES IT. HE MANAGES TO CHASE A BULLET SHOT FROM NOWHERE AND CATCH IT YET HE CAN'T CATCH AN ARROW. Did Loeb even read his own comics?

And speaking of the bullet - if the Ultronite was just following Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch without the intention of shooting them, WHY DID HE CARRY A GUN SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED TO KILL WANDA WITH HIM?

Doom makes a cameo at the end that is utterly arbitrary. While the comic says "The End" what it really means is, "To be continued". Ultimates 3 is a prequel to a crossover.

Oh, and Hank Pym, who created Ultron and is a TRAITOR TO THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (apparently, this only gets him HOUSE ARREST?!) is backed up by Jan for him helping them fight Ultron. Jan then yells at Captain America and says if he doesn't like Hank being on the team (!!) he can QUIT.

He's Captain ****ing America. Captain America doesn't take **** from Wasp. Wasp being the leader makes no ****ing sense at all. And Cap not being able to actually command ANY RESPECT from ANYONE is retarded. But then, HE IS RETARDED BECAUSE HE PRETENDED TO BE THE BLACK PANTHER. Why? We don't know. It doesn't matter. It just means Captain America has been ****ing around. Captain America wants to be bossed around by Wasp so much, HE JOINED THE TEAM TWICE.

Seriously. Tony Stark = Billionaire business man. Captain America = Led troops into World War II. Thor = Norse God and son of Odin. And somehow, none of them have the presence to lead a team whereas Wasp, a government scientist, can BOSS THEM AROUND in military operations. This makes no ****ing sense. At all. Cap could leave the team, and create his own one. With blackjack and hookers.

But then, none of it made any sense. It is, by far, one of the most stupid comics I've ever read. It's insulting how many people in this world would've killed to do Ultimates 3 - for so much less - and this got published.

Absolute ****ing failure.

Where's the slow building clap that turns into a standing ovation smiley?

Well said.

 

[thee great one]

I am scared even more for Ultimatum.